FULL HOUSE MEMBERS TO TNA!

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Hey Laz...after that umm...hit....what did the chippy get the muchies for? And, is that chip or dale?

Beats me. I found the pic somewhere.

 

However, I do believe that it is Dale, seeing as how Chip is sXe and Dale wears Hawaiian shirts and is always hungry. He probably ended up eating a shitload of peanuts, or stole a couple slices of pizza from Fat Cat.

[TheBigSwigg 0]

More Laz's wouldn't be such a bad thing. Then there'd be more pissed off metalhead with pothead chipmunks in their sigs and fiends for their avatars, and the occasional "hot chick" picture from them that they know on a personal level.

Though these are good enough things to warrant more Laz's, I have to say that the exponential growth of Jarrett hate would make the board impossible to read.

 

Plus, don't forget the mounds of candy bars that Swiggy has stuck in his pants.

This explains the caramel in my socks.

 

 

Uncalled for! I demand an apology!

 

Ok, I'm sorry

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

That you suck like Kimmy Gibler.

[RHR 0]

Uncalled attack on the fellating skills of one Kimmy Gibler! Who doesn't love a sloppy Gibler Gobbler....

 

How have the Olsen twins avoided this thread thusfar?

 

They could play Abyss' valets...two evil-looking skinny robot chicks....

 

<shudder>

[TheBigSwigg 0]

From WrestlingObserver.com

 

We've got word that TNA has extended an offer to the Olsen twins to serve as valets for Abyss. We contacted their agent, and their reply was "You got it, dude!"

[RHR 0]

From Metzler...

 

Abyss/Olsen Twins vs. Urkel

Match started off as a slugfest...crowd popping for Mary Kate, but not Ashley...Abyss with Black Hole Slam...run in by the men responsible for Urkel's existence, COUSIN LARRY AND BALKAI...huge crowd pop...Ashley turns on the Tanner family by lip-kissing all three men....Balkai grabs mike...and announces that a new day is dawning...and with the PERFECT STRANGERS and Urkel here in TNA...they're takin' over....decent match before run-in **....run in got huge heat...could lead to PERFECT STRANGERS/OUSIDERS feud....culminating in a ladder match...

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

I think Swiggy's got you beat - forever and ever and ever - on parody Meltz reports regarding TV stars and TNA.

 

I've heard that Bob Saget may be looking to reprise his role as Danny Tanner, only taking a heel turn and turning on Jesse and The Rippers by voyaging to a mountain on a donkey, getting dirty, and then returning home to leave food on the counter and spread potato chip crumbs all around his room.

[Guest Bad Post Pointout]

To quote, umm, myself in the WWE folder....

 

What TNA really needs is a breakout star...a man whom men fear, women lust after, and all respect...

 

A man of power...

 

looks....

 

personality....

 

The man who will save TNA.

 

Who am I talking about?

 

You guessed it...

 

Frank Stallone.

COMMENT: Poster RHR repeats WWE folder joke, wherein he professes ironical attachment to celebrity of dubious stature.

[Guest Bad Post Pointout]

From WrestlingObserver.com:

 

Here is the current situation with the Full House/TNA situation:

 

Uncle Jesse, Uncle Joey, DJ and Stephanie have been backstage for the past few iMPACT! tapings.  The group isn't mixing well backstage, as Kevin Nash has taken a liking to Jesse due to Jesse's willingness to share hair care tips and products.  Big Kev told Jesse he'd do his best to help Jesse get a ME spot, to which I'm told Jesse replied with "Have mercy!"   Uncle Joey was seen talking to Dutch Mantell about coming in under the guise of "Ranger Joe," a wrestling park ranger who has a puppet sidekick.  Mantell seemed up for the idea, but only if Puppet the midget was used instead of an actual puppet. Stephanie got quite a few propositions, most notably from Scott Hall and Dallas.  From what I'm told, she took more of a liking to Dallas, as he was polite.  The problem lies with Dallas' girlfriend Debbie, who wasn't too happy.  As far as I can tell, only Debbie does Dallas at this point.  Scott Hall propositioned Stephanie with some ideas that weren't necessarily nice or family friendly, to which sources tell me Stephanie replied with "HOW RUDE!"  DJ was also propositioned backstage, by Macho Man Randy Savage.  Savage offered to take DJ out on a date, and DJ threatened to call her boyfriend Steve to "teach Savage some manners."  Savage felt this was a threat to his health and quickly left.  Some overheard him muttering about "letting Luger have the girl first this time" which we can only assume is a reference to his late ex-wife Elizabeth. 

 

As for the contracts;  TNA is most willing to sign Uncle Jesse, as he is considered the main draw of the group.  Some are worried about the quirky clauses that he brings along, such as the "hair clause,"  the "guitar clause,"  and his desire to put Elvis posters all over the locker rooms .  He is supposedly against the idea of working with XXX, as he believes that Elix Skipper isn't "Rock and Roll" enough to work as a "Ripper."  He supposedly told Skipper that  the only way Skipper would ever draw would be if he looked more like Lenny Kravitz. 

 

A contract for Uncle Joey is also considered viable, as Dutch Mantell is very much behind the "Ranger Joe" character idea.  This is all dependent on whether or not Jerry Jarrett can wriggle free control of the company from his son and Mantell.  Contracts for the girls aren't the least likely, as Dixie Carter is adamant against a "OCD control freak" like Danny Tanner, but since TNA is trying to start a "Bombshell" division, it's possible that both DJ and Stephanie could sign.  Also  possible is a contract for Kimmy Gibler, as management feels that she would work well as a heel with Jonny Fairplay as her manager.

 

------------

COMMENT: Poster THEBIGSWIGG presents overlong version of previous Pointed Out Post made by poster COREY_LAZARUS, throws in couple bad jokes.

[Guest Bad Post Pointout]

More Laz's wouldn't be such a bad thing. Then there'd be more pissed off metalhead with pothead chipmunks in their sigs and fiends for their avatars, and the occasional "hot chick" picture from them that they know on a personal level.

 

Plus, don't forget the ownage of you. That would increase exponentially, slave. Now where's my fucking dinner?

COMMENT: Poster COREY_LAZARUS presents self-analysis with undercurrent of aggrandizement.

 

COMMENT: Poster COREY_LAZARUS outdoes himself with awful final paragraph.

[Guest Bad Post Pointout]

Plus, don't forget the ownage of you. That would increase exponentially, slave. Now where's my fucking dinner?

Plus, don't forget the mounds of candy bars that Swiggy has stuck in his pants.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or just bring up a gay porn joke.

COMMENT: Poster DYNAMITE KIDO exhibits baffling lack of sense, humor.

[Guest Bad Post Pointout]

1. Swiggy, no. That's because I'm currently also looking at Max Hardcore's free tour on his website.

 

2. Bad Post Pointout, um, the jokes I made were the bad jokes everybody thought was coming. Thus, your post is a bad post. Eat my cockspit.

RESPONSE: Poster COREY_LAZARUS gets defensive, uses touch of self-deprecation to mask feelings hurt at the nuts and bolts of BAD POST POINTOUT.

[TheBigSwigg 0]

I'm really getting tired of BPP.

[Guest Bad Post Pointout]

I'm really getting tired of BPP.

RESPONSE: No duh, I made fun of you.

[TheBigSwigg 0]

It's not that you made fun of me, it's that you don't get inside jokes.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

The gimmick would work if he only did one more post in this thread.

 

That said...Swiggy, that cotton ain't gonna pick itself, ya know...

[TheBigSwigg 0]

Corey, those slave jokes are getting old.

 

Cut.....It.....Out.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

You got it, dude!

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

Plus, don't forget the ownage of you. That would increase exponentially, slave. Now where's my fucking dinner?

Plus, don't forget the mounds of candy bars that Swiggy has stuck in his pants.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Or just bring up a gay porn joke.

COMMENT: Poster DYNAMITE KIDO exhibits baffling lack of sense, humor.

Thanks man, NOW I understand why we need you here.

 

I've come to the conclusion that I have to kill myself because a gimmick poster makes comments at my expense.

 

19 posts and your gimmick has run it's course......please try again.

[RHR 0]

Tonight...on a very special episode of THE SMARKIES...Dynamite Kido must come to grips with growing and the onslaught of gimmick posters...he contemplates taking one last step...

 

DYNAMITE KIDO "Sometimes, I just feel so lost. And that gimmick poster really got to me"

 

<television showing Randy Savage on Impact>

 

DK " That's it...I'm outta here"

 

 

...until an angel shows up to save him.

 

Tony Danza "Don't throw your life away"

DK "Oh fuck, an angel"

 

 

TONY DANZA guest stars this week as SMARKIE the angel, and to save his life, must show DK tapes of the British Bulldogs glory days...but will it be enough to save this boy? Or will his enemies get to him...

 

<television turns to TNA. New signee Test challenges Dallas to a Submission Match>

 

Tune in to find out....

[TheBigSwigg 0]

Your post was somewhat amusing until this point:

 

<television turns to TNA. New signee Test challenges Dallas to a Submission Match>

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

...it was amusing?

 

RHR, go toss my salad, ho~.

[TheBigSwigg 0]

...it was amusing?

 

RHR, go toss my salad, ho~.

Yes, amusing. I wouldn't give it ***** or anything, but it held my attention. I believe the use of Tony Danza is what did it, as I always have a soft spot for male housekeepers. Not like that. Dammit, Laz you're even ripping me when I'm not reading your posts. Anyhow, as I said I think it's amusing.

 

I also think it needs more.....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

MORE COWBELL, BABY!!!

[HandofFate 0]

MORE COWBELL, BABY!!!

GREAT reference to the SNL skit for Behind The Music.

 

 

 

 

 

Laz, what about the rumors to the Olsen twins' fatal flaw for.....

 

 

 

OUS CREAM!!!!!

 

 

 

btw, where is Aunt Becky while all of this is happening? Stuck at home watching the twins? And who is Comet siding with? My GOD the intrigue....

 

 

 

Hey...maybe Danny can have his own segment called Wake Up TNA. He can hit his first guess with a vacuum cleaner to the head.

[TheBigSwigg 0]

btw, where is Aunt Becky while all of this is happening? Stuck at home watching the twins? And who is Comet siding with? My GOD the intrigue....

 

Actually, I've heard that she stayed in San Fran because one of the twins had a soccer game, and the other had a boyfriend who had a swim meet.

[RHR 0]

Laz....it was the mere mention/thought of the Dallas/Test match, wasn't it? Sorry, I thought it fit the context of my post...but....I have this burning, hurtful feeling in my head since posting it....i am full of guilt...

 

or hungover...whatever....

 

I am sorry....

 

 

but understand...

 

IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!! <grunt grunt grunt>

[TheBigSwigg 0]

Do you alos have a problem with Ous Cream?

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

Laz....it was the mere mention/thought of the Dallas/Test match, wasn't it? Sorry, I thought it fit the context of my post...but....I have this burning, hurtful feeling in my head since posting it....i am full of guilt...

 

or hungover...whatever....

 

I am sorry....

 

 

but understand...

 

IT WASN'T MY FAULT!!!! <grunt grunt grunt>

I was going to let your little parody about me go, until you added a Snitsky joke.

 

 

 

Now you suck the perverbial donkey ass.

[TheBigSwigg 0]

I was going to let your little parody about me go, until you added a Snitsky joke.

 

 

 

Now you suck the perverbial donkey ass.

You'll suffer through Dallas and Test in a submission match, but not Snitsky jokes?

 

Wow. Just Wow.

[RHR 0]

Ok...to review....Tony Danza tries to save DK's life by showing the Bulldog's Greatest Hits....and maybe DK is saved...but...will his enemies force him to end his life...hence the Dalls/Test reference....the thought of which even had me wincing in disgust...and this coming from a guy who all day at work has been playing the Perfect Stranger's theme on repeat....i got an iron stomach....

 

So you see DK, I'm trying to save your soul. Because by saving you, maybe....

 

I can save myself.

 

Also, sorry for the Snitsky reference. I strike that from all memory.

[Guest Dynamite Kido]

I was going to let your little parody about me go, until you added a Snitsky joke.

 

 

 

Now you suck the perverbial donkey ass.

You'll suffer through Dallas and Test in a submission match, but not Snitsky jokes?

 

Wow. Just Wow.

Everybody gets a freebie, remember I gave you several on the gay porn jokes.