12/16 feedback

[Hoff 0]

I'm ina hurry, sorry if it's disjointed. Good show this week. If I missed anything, yell at me. Gotta run, take care!

[NYU 0]

Good show this week. Considering I want to take a break from Christmas gift wrapping at this point - and see if I can spur some ACTUAL feedback - I thought I would try yet another new approach to Feedbacking this week. And shockingly enough, I think I'm going to even try to make it constructive! Not meant to insult anybody - just meant to be truthful.

 

The Good and The Bad

 

Starting Interview with Mad Matt

The Good: Strong interview to set up the re-emergence of this character. Set the stage for his personality in the next few weeks. He doesn't care about pleasing the fans, he's in it for himself, the works. I liked it.

The Bad: I would have established a little more just who Mad Matt is. My apologies, but I've been in the federation for eight months and I don't recall seeing Matt's stuff before. I would have had Matt talk a little more about his history in the OAOAST, have Triple C play Matt's transformation more, whichever. If this was meant to be a surprising revelation, it probably should have been focused on a little more.

 

Axel/Ragdoll Confrontation

The Good: I loved it. Ragdoll's beatdown was just SO, SO intense! The blood, the repeated beatdown with the chair - it just added so much hype to the Main Event for Climax. I liked Ragdoll going absolutely insane on the microphone as well. This made the feud just THAT more personal. Awesome stuff!

The Bad: My only complaint was that I wouldn't have had Ragdoll attack Watts with a belly-to-belly suplex. I generally don't like authorities getting beat up in angles if it doesn't lead anywhere. But that's pretty much only a minor criticism.

 

Kevin/Bryte/Brock Interview

The Good: Amazing stuff here. He, Kevin Yancy Taylor, established his dickhead attitude once again. Chris Bryte only reaffirmed that behavior once he got the mic. I really enjoy the heel work of both of these guys. They just handle the arrogant asshole characters so well. Brock's explosion at the end was excellent. It was great to see him lash out at Bryte like that, with Bryte returning the favor, and Taylor trying to keep the peace in the middle. This tweener character could be exactly what Brock needs -- and I would really look forward to Ausstin feuding with The Hand or Chris Bryte in the near future.

The Bad: This is more of a general criticism than anything. Papa, I've loved the Panther/Bryte feud. If I could even be so bold as to reveal one of my votes, I chose that as the Best Feud of 2004. But it may just be time to move on. I think you've accomplished everything there is to do with this feud, and it does both Bryte and Panther a disservice to have them continue feuding, especially since they could both be HUGE if they branch off into different feuds. Like I said, Bryte/Brock could be excellent, and people are always willing to work with Panther. Don't take it personally at all since I've loved the work so far, but I would just recommend retiring this one sometime in the future before it gets too stale.

 

Chris/James/Zack Segment

The Good: Really cute promo. I laughed at Chris and James babbling about Stephen Joseph saving the board, and Zack screaming about it afterwards. Zack scoffing about a Best of Alfdogg tape at the end was fun too. I like Chris and James more and more as the weeks progress. Cool stuff here.

The Bad: Not much. Probably just would have put who was speaking when, just so we could have established whether it was Chris or James talking.

 

Panther Interview

The Good: Panther showed his intensity as always. His anger towards Bryte continues to boil, but he hasn't yet forgotten what Brock Ausstin did to him. Nice stuff.

The Bad: Like I've said before, just feels like we've seen it all already. I'm sure a Panther/Bryte match will be as amazing as it has always been, but again, it may have been done enough.

 

The Mad Cappa Promo

The Good: I love Cappa's heel character. I enjoy seeing him scream about the disrespect he's been given, and I was REALLY digging his feud with Leon Rodez. I wouldn't have minded to see that go a little longer. This may have been exactly the right character move for the Mad Cappa. I seriously like it.

The Bad: Might just be a little over-the-top with Cappa's evil "MWAHAHAHAHA" laugh. It's not awful, but just seems a little corny. Yet, in this case, that might not necessarily be a bad thing.

 

Zack Birthday Interview

The Good: Once again, really fun. I always love when Zack gets into his raving lunatic character. Even though he was trying to be happy during his celebration, he just couldn't help screaming about Sly, Crystal, and all the other people that have wronged him in the past. Nice swerve with GPX and Rodez bringing out a birthday cake that's actually NOT booby-trapped, and really good twist with Alix at the end. Great stuff here to set up some possible angles in the next few months.

The Bad: Yeesh, not really much at all. Maybe have had Rodez have some interaction with Zack last week to make his reappearance during the interview seem a little more logical and a little less random. But I pretty much enjoyed all of it.

 

T-Bod vs. Dr Anderson

The Good: Actually an exciting match here. The back-and-forth nature of it made very entertaining to read. Andersen kicking out of the Rude Awakening - then coming SO close to pinning T-Bod with that swinging DDT - made him look like a real contender here. On the commentary side, Michael Cole going into so much depth in correcting Caboose about Lifetime TV was cute. Good stuff here.

The Bad: Again, not so much a criticism of the match in particular, but I would give The Love Doctors a little more promo time in the near future. I just can't get a feel for their characters besides being athletic doctors that come close to beating Black T. As for the match itself tonight, like I said, it was really good.

 

Black-T Interview

The Good: Established the legendary status of Black T in the Tag Team division. I've always enjoyed the arrogance they both show, and this interview continued to help establish them as THE premier team in the Tag Division. Dare I say, this interview also set the stage up very nicely for an UPSET next Sunday at Climax? I dare say. The fact that the Love Doctors have suddenly been built up as a threat by Black T trying to make them NOT look like a threat has been handled well -- if that made any sense whatsoever.

The Bad: NO JIVIN JIM ROSS PROMO TIME!! Inexcusable.

 

Chris Bryte vs. Leon Rodez

The Good: LOVED Bryte trying to get the ladies swooning with his vest at the beginning of the match. Hilarious. I thought this definitely was a Main-Event quality match here. The action was insane, especially as we neared the end of the contest. It was brutal to see just how many times Rodez damaged his unprotected nose, yet it was a testament to his character to see that he refused to give in to the pain anyway. The ending with Brock was nice and mysterious too. Like I said earlier, I like the way the early foundation for this feud is being set up.

The Bad: Not many criticisms. Match-wise, it did seem a little odd to me at the beginning that Leon would go for an STF so early in the match. Unlike an armbar or something of the sort, it's a move where someone really DOES try to force a submission. Yet, wouldn't everyone know so early in the match that Bryte would never submit so early? It just seemed out of place. It also seemed strange to me that Rodez could REPEATEDLY beat Bryte with his mask like that without getting disqualified. I don't know if that would ever actually be allowed. Either way, besides those minor points, the action here was incredible.

 

Private Time with Hoff

The Good: Very interesting to read. I liked the back history talked about between Hoff and Stevens. All the interaction between them in so many federations finally gives the saga a clear, storied history. This interview really gave an in-depth explanation of how Hoff started in the business, and I found myself enthralled in the entire thing all the way through. I know where Hoff is going with this, and I have to say, the stage has been set up nicely so far.

The Bad: Now, while it was interesting to read, it just seemed a little out of place to me. This seemed more like grounds for a special Shoot Interview - in the vein of Sly and Ragdoll - rather than something that should be on HeldDown. I thought these three weekly promos would be more about focusing on the car attack rather than a biographical account of Hoff's life. I don't know. I also would have had Hoff show a little more anger towards Zack, since he still feels Zack was the one that ran him down. Still very good.

 

Sly Sommers vs. Howard Robotusen

The Good: This was a good squash to emphasize that Sly is a focused competitor for the title match next Sunday. It showcased a nice number of his moves, and really set up the fact that Sly is not willing to slack one bit in his goal to capture the Heavyweight Title. At the end of the match, I did like seeing Crystal run down to the ring to save Sly, only to get shoved down by Sly afterwards. The hostility between the two of them is something that I feel has been nicely teased over the past few weeks, and this week has been no exception.

The Bad: I would have had Robotusen get a LITTLE offense here to make the match somewhat competitive. I also would have liked to see the brawl between Drek/Crystal/Sly get a little more focused upon at the end. The battle should have been somewhat more intense at this point in the match buildup, perhaps with a three-person schmozz before the referees broke it up.

 

There. As always, I would appreciate any feedback people have on the Drek segments this week. And stay tuned. Next week:

 

DREK STONE.

 

RAGDOLL.

 

HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONSHIP.

 

OMG!!

 

Right.

 

Either way, hope people enjoyed this feedback format. I certainly hope no one gets offended by it - it's just a way to add some constructive criticism to everyone's work. Like I said before, good show this week. I really like the way Climax is shaping up - even if we only have, like, four matches for it. It's all good though.

[Hoff 0]

I like it. As for my own stuff, all I can say is that the current situation will be dealt with more in the next installments.

 

Anyway...

 

Good show this week, and you guys gave me a lot of high-quality promos to sort out and place in meaningful spots. I apologize again if the show seemed disjointed. I was in quite a hurry, suffice to say. But I think, in rereadingit, that it came off well.

 

I really liked the T-Bod/Dr. Max match, in that the Doctors are being built up so well. Some of the tag teams have fizzled out a little bit, and that's to be expected, but week in and week out the Docs seem bonafide contenders, and that's cool. I loved the descriptive touches Tony used as well, in T-Bod's motions and mannerisms. The Rodez/Bryte match was a fun read, high-action affair that could have been main event, had NYU not done such a badass closing promo. The Sly match was what it needed to be to establish Sly's desire to win and some anger as well. So, nice work matchwise from all.

 

Promowise, well, let's see. I was into Matt's comeback, maybe because I just saw the very tail end of his last run and want to see some more. The angle may have been done before, but it's something new for the character and I like that.

 

Drek's promo was a cool tightrope walk between arrogant and angry, and that's very much what his character is and should be portrayed as. I thought it was very well-written.

 

The Ragdoll attack was INSANE, I was so into it. I like that fire. It makes the careers match seem more...appropriate? Anyway, good stuff.

 

I really like Taylor's stable, which manages to be goofy but still pose a threat to Panther. The relationship between Brock and Bryte is GREAT, and it makes me want to see a whole lot more of Brock Ausstin, which, with no disrespect meant to HSJ, isn't something I've said before. Good to see the cocky Bryte-man back as well, since I never said that before.

 

The Chris and James thing made me laugh. I liked it a lot.

 

Panther is SUCH a good interview. I mean, whoa. Just...you just get this feel when you're reading a Panther promo that he's the real f'ing deal, y'know? I dunno. I liked it a lot as I do all of Papa's work.

 

Cappa's promo was weird, to me. Reminded me a lot of SJ's early Inten5e promos, before that group debuted. It was cool.

 

Zack's birthday interview was just cool. It managed to put over this new alliance as a solid unit, run down some old foes, touch on the current Hoff situation, and just get a pop from the fans and have a good time. Nicely done, I loved how it all came together.

 

The Black T postmatch promo was solid, the same that we see from them, making them look like classy superstars and sort of "elite", so to say, in the tag division.

 

The end promo with Drek, like I said...I loved it. FWIW, NYU asked me to put a few segments between the squash and that segment, but I thought it flowed beautifully, capitalizing on Drek's anger. It showed Drek as human; showing frustration, and fear. To me, as I said, Drek is walking a very fine tightrope line...but seemingly is in no danger of falling.

 

So anyway.

 

I'm curious as to whether more people thought the shootish vibe in Hoff's interview was out of line. I was debating the matter myself, but I left it in because I thought that it made the backstory of Hoff vs. Stevens seem more meaningful. Anyway, parts two and three (or just two if I condense it....we'll see) will be more "in character" and deal more with the here and now. This whole promo is something I've been dying to do, though, and so I want to get the whole story, so to speak.

 

So leave feedback people!

[Tony149 0]

T-Bod vs. Dr Anderson

 

The Good: On the commentary side, Michael Cole going into so much depth in correcting Caboose about Lifetime TV was cute. Good stuff here.

 

The Bad: Again, not so much a criticism of the match in particular, but I would give The Love Doctors a little more promo time in the near future. I just can't get a feel for their characters besides being athletic doctors that come close to beating Black T. As for the match itself tonight, like I said, it was really good.

 

Black-T Interview

 

The Bad: NO JIVIN JIM ROSS PROMO TIME!! Inexcusable.

 

Hoff said: "I loved the descriptive touches Tony used as well, in T-Bod's motions and mannerisms."

It was Jesse Ventura, not Caboose. I probably should explain why Jesse keeps popping up during tag matches, but I just feel more comfortable writing commentary for "The Body" than Coach and Caboose. It should be easy since Caboose is a heel and Coach is The Coach, but I can hear Ventura's voice (probably because I think I do a good Ventura impression) when I write commentary, which is why he's used a lot for matches I write.

 

I understand where you're coming from about the Docs. Much like writing for Coach and Caboose, I haven't felt as comfortable writing promos for The Love Doctors. When I read your comments, an idea popped into my head, and I've since begun writing a interview for the Docs that will hopefully develop their character quite a bit.

 

Eskimo, if you see this, I hope you don't mind me writing an interview. I'll PM it to you if you'd like.

 

Again, I understand where you're coming from about the lack of Jivin' J.R. When Zack wrote a segment involving Black T and himself days before TSW, he didn't use Jivin' J.R. TSW rolls around, again, no Jivin' J.R. I write the formation of T.O.E. that week and decide not to use Jivin' J.R. because I wasn't sure what was happening to his character, and instead of asking, I kept J.R. absent. When Eskimo, who I'm not sure even knew J.R. was AWOL for two weeks, wrote him back in, I also started using Mr. Jive once again.

 

I have a feeling Jivin' J.R. will return in force next week.

 

I'm completely caught off-guard by Hoff's comments, in a good sense. IMO, one of my flaws, besides suffering from a mild case of Mick Foley's disease (punctuation is the wrong places, particulary involving semi-colons, hence the S.C.M.'s rant about semi-colons during there debut promo) is that I'm not very descriptive when it comes to my match writing. By no means is it that bad, but after studying the works of great match writers as Zack, NY Untouchable and PFL, I noticed my matches were lacking in that arena. Over the last month I've really been working hard on developing those skills.

 

As for the show... I thought it was very good. The promos were great, especially Zack and Drek's, the matches looked well-written (only skimmed 'em) and the pacing of the show was well done IMO. Hoff's promo kinda confused me because a lot of the stuff he said I didn't understand since I really didn't start paying full attention to the actual shows until the Summer of this year. Well-written, though.

 

I do agree with NY about Watts being abused. So far we've done a great job keeping Watts in the tradition of a Jack Tunney -- there to keep the order, with the exception being that Watts isn't afraid of getting verbally abusive towards talent.

 

Sorry for the lack of detailed feedback, as I've been working hard on keeping things flowing in the tag division (writing for the NNMX, Hell's Hitmen, The Saints and BT/T.O.E.).

[Hoff 0]

I just calls 'em like I sees ;em, Ton'.

[Mystery Eskimo 0]

Tony - yes, please write an interview. I was thinking of doing that myself, so will save me some typing! Look forward to seeing it. With all the tag teams we've developed its gotten kinda hard to give them all the attention they need, so fleshing out the Docs story would be great.

 

A good show this week. I loved Brock Austin standing up to Bryte. Tony did a great job as ever with his match. I liked Sly's squash match, some cool stuff in there. Zacks bday thing (happy birthday champ) was great, and I dig the EVIL~! Cappa.

 

And Drek Stone continues to be both an excellent champion, and in NY Untouchable the best damn feed-backer we got. Good work! If Drek needs tag team back up anytime, you know where to look

[Papacita 0]

Match-wise, it did seem a little odd to me at the beginning that Leon would go for an STF so early in the match. Unlike an armbar or something of the sort, it's a move where someone really DOES try to force a submission. Yet, wouldn't everyone know so early in the match that Bryte would never submit so early? It just seemed out of place. It also seemed strange to me that Rodez could REPEATEDLY beat Bryte with his mask like that without getting disqualified. I don't know if that would ever actually be allowed. Either way, besides those minor points, the action here was incredible.

 

I was actually debating with myself about the face mask thing, but in the end, I figured that it could pass since in terms of the match, Bryte had no business removing the mask in the first place, and also because in the end it really didn't end up doing that much damage. As for the STF spot...I dunno. I've never really been the best person in terms of understanding psychology, but that spot was more or less Leon's way of offsetting Bryte's aggression in the opening stages. It wasn't really meant to tease a submission (which is why I had him escape so quickly), but it was supposed to put Bryte in enough jeopardy that he'd be forced to back off and reset himself. Hope that makes some sense.

 

As for feedback, I don't have much criticism; the show was, as usual, great all around. I was feeling the build toward the World Title match at Climax, as well as the Black T/Docs build (I've always liked the classy Horsemen-like feel Black T's promos have), Ragdoll's beatdown on Axel was pretty nice, and I liked the Hoff interview, although I agree with NYU that it was a little out of place. It's nice to get a little more background on the Hoff/Steven rivalry, but I didn't really like how Hoff started getting into behind the scenes stuff, like Stevens being told to job the belt to Hoff and the fact that they were both fired for doing an unscripted match. It's interesting stuff and a very good read, but it doesn't fit within the context of a wrestling show because it draws attention to the fact that wrestling's fake. I don't wanna come off too harsh, because this was an excellent segment, but I think there are ways of conveying their dislike for one another without getting into scripting.

 

As for my stuff, any comments on my commentary (with Cole, Caboose and Taylor) in Bryte/Rodez? I've been trying to improve it lately so that it doesn't sound too generic and cliche, and I'm interested seeing how that came off.

[King Cucaracha 0]

It's certainly better than mine Papa'. Seemed pretty good to me and it was a nice touch to put Yancy in on commentary of course, giving the commentary an added edge as Coach always seems to be played as the neutral when Crystal isn't around.

 

Another good show. Nice to see me in so many different segments too. Always a good sign.