Let's see what I've been missing

[Jingus 0]

Yo. Out of general apathy for their crappy product, I haven't sat down and watched an entire episode of Raw in a long, long time. (I have kept up with the storylines and such online, which has mostly just had me shaking my head in disbelief or disgust.) Well, I recorded the show on tape last night, and here are a honorary-psuedo-insider's view of a show I haven't paid any attention to for half a year now.

 

-Overall, I kinda liked it. At least when I gave up watching this show, you usually didn't get three matches that went past five minutes like we got this week. That ain't much, but it's better than the promo-driven shitburgers they've been feeding us for years now.

 

-However, I still got a few points to bitch about. Firstly, what the fuck is Nova doing in a two-minute match where his only offense is punches & kicks? At least let him use a few of the moves he "invented". Also, why was the Intercontinental Champion left off the show last week, and why did the commentators make a special point of reminding us about that fact last night?

 

-Speaking of commentators, you evil smarks leave good ol' JR alone. Ross certainly isn't the talent that he was in 1989, but hell, who would be after having their entire head paralyzed? He's still lightyears better than the majority of indy play-by-play guys. (Lawler, on the other hand...)

 

-Where did all these bitches come from? I don't watch a wrestling show to see random generic interchangable surgically enhanced females who can't act. Vince fired Jaqueline, Nidia, and Jazz so he could pay the salarys of these bimbos?!

 

-The combined team of Benoit and Jericho can carry ANYONE to a decent match, in my opinion. Damn shame about the finish, which was the stupidest botched mess I've seen in a while.

 

-So here we have two guys that we're gonna make into evil Arabian heels. One of them is actually Italian, and a crappy wrestler to boot. The other one is a better wrestler, and is really Arabic. Sooooo, which one gets to be the leader of the team, and which one is the sidekick? I don't get it eiither.

 

-Where the hell did Sergeant Slaughter go, and who's this skinny guy who took his place? He still takes sick bumps like the old Sarge, though.

 

-Randy Orton and HHH are, in terms of age, health, and movesets, better wrestlers than Shawn Michaels and Ric Flair. So why are Randy and Hunter so much more boring than HBK and Naitch? Flair still has one of the best backdrop bumps in the business, he looks like he breaks a hip every single time he takes it, but he takes it every damn week (although I can't remember the last time he got the turnbuckle flip right). I don't buy Orton being miraculously protected from reconcussion until he did his finisher, which you'd think would be the LAST thing he'd hit his head on. The best part of this match was Batista's mischievious little grin after he intentionally got himself thrown out. The WWE is bringing his face turn along in a more clever and subtle manner than any storyline I've seen in a while, hope they don't drop the ball.

 

-The cage match was... there. Poor Glenn Jacobs: the guy has had to carry the burden of ALL of the most ridiculous wrestlecrap storylines in his WWFE tenure ("He's Undertaker's [half] Brother!", and the whole Paul Bearer angle, and Tori, and magic fire powers, and Katie Vick, and the unmasking, and teaming with every cruiserweight in the company, and the wedding, and the miscarriage, plus don't forget Isaac Yankem and Fake Diesel) yet the guy continues to soldier onward, is still pretty over and he gives the best that he has, night in and night out. Any other man would've retired in disgust long ago, but Glenn's like the mailman, nothing can stop him from coming back over and over again. Good for him, I don't think I would have the patience to deal with all the bullshit he has. But anyway, cage matches really should have at least one guy bleeding, I think that was one of the original Commandments. The chokeslam on the door was cool, but if I was the kayfabe WWE, I'd be pissed at whoever built my crappy steel cage that a near-jobber like Snitzky can rip apart with his bare hands.

 

All in all, it wasn't as bad as a lot of the shit they've put on TV in the past three years.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

Snitsky is not being portrayed as a jobber.

[Exslade ZX 0]

-The combined team of Benoit and Jericho can carry ANYONE to a decent match, in my opinion. Damn shame about the finish, which was the stupidest botched mess I've seen in a while.

I think RAW proved that wrong.

[ChrisMWaters 0]

-Where the hell did Sergeant Slaughter go, and who's this skinny guy who took his place?  He still takes sick bumps like the old Sarge, though.

Maybe he was trying to look like his G.I. Joe counterpart.

 

 

Which would YOU rather look like?

[Art Sandusky 0]

Kane really doesn't get as much love as he deserves. Anyone who thinks their favorite performer is being mistreated need only look at him and realize it could be worse. He's been one of my favorite workers for a while simply because I've never heard of him complaining and just doing what's laid out for him. Plus, he always seems to put forth a great effort, no matter how dumb the angle or match may be.

[Black Lushus 0]

He is certainly one of the better hosses around in recent memory...

[Art Sandusky 0]

I really don't see why they don't give him a World Championship run next time he does an evil monster heel turn.

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

Personally, Kane bores the hell out of me. Granted, his mic work was a pleasant surprise during the whole Lita angle, but in the ring, he does absolutely nothing for me w/ his generic big-man offense. Sideslam? Check. Big boot? Check. Chokeslam? Check. Crappy punches? Check. Boredom? Check.

 

The last match of his I enjoyed (didn't see the title match vs. Benoit) was 2-3 years ago on SD against Angle.

[Black Lushus 0]

differences of opinion, I suppose...i've actually enjoyed Kane now in this past year more than I ever have...