I'm disenchanted...........

[1234-5678 0]

Could you people please do something interesting in the 10 hours I am at work today? Every day I come home, hoping for some sort of entertainment while I eat my dinner, and I get none whatsoever. You're all slipping, and it's high time for a wake up call.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I propose a JAxlMorrison Anecdote Contest for TSM. We're all going to write outlandish ridiculous stories concerning, but not limited to, drugs, alcohol, drunk driving, underage sex, and the importance of friendship. Basically just write a post that looks like most JAxlMorrison posts, except the difference is we're completely making the stories up. Winner gets...something?

[BUTT 0]

You know JAxl, Robin Finck looks like that kid from Mask in your sig.

[Black Lushus 0]

Czech, you forgot to mention posts about Axl Rose and his lameness with putting albums out on time...

[GreatWhiteNope 0]

The album's coming out, just not in our lifetime.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Let me tell you all a story. A story of how I am the fucking coolest guy in the Lake Michigan Tri-State region.

 

I was out Sunday night (yeah I'm not afraid to go out on Sundays) with my buds Ryan and Skip, and some hot pieces of ass from the local high school came along too. They dig college guys, you know, and we've got what they want. So we went to the local dive, because face it, we're cheap, and we're not out to get the best beer around. This is a night for puking and fucking, that's all. They were playing some gay-ass shit on the jukebox, Real McCoy or Ace Of Base, some crap like that. So I took the bartender and grabbed him by the throat, and put him up against the wall and said "listen here you son of a bitch, we came here to party, and to party, we need music that DOESN'T FUCKING SUCK!" While I still had him in a chokehold, Skip came over and kicked him in the shin. Kind of useless, but Skip's not the kind of guy we bring along for reinforcement in a barroom brawl. Skip is our bait for getting some hot pieces of ass. The bartender did not have us thrown out, rather, he commended me for my brute strength and decisiveness, and allowed me to pick the music. He understood by my display of dominance that I was the "alpha" male, and should be allowed to have my way. Naturally, I put together a playlist with some CDs from the back of my car, and it was gonna be the Doors and Guns n Roses all fucking night long. So Ryan and I threw down about eight beers, and Skip was working on a Zima like the fucking pussy that he is, but like I said, we bring Skip so that Skip brings the ass. Now I don't remember the names of the girls. I'm pretty sure one was Melanie, and one very well may have been Shannon. No wait, maybe the first one was Valerie. At any rate, they were getting pretty trashed, so we figured it was time to head back to Ryan's place. Some little Express-For-Men pussy came up to us and said we didn't know how to treat a lady. As the sexiest womanizer around, I naturally took umbrage at his remarks, and was about to kick his ass when the fucker actually PULLED A KNIFE ON ME. He said "I could fucking kill you right now," but then I see a beer bottle get fucking CRACKED over his gelled hair. ANd who do I fucking see but SKIP! That little son of a bitch came through for me. I couldn't believe it. At this point, the bartender could not legally be impressed by our masculine dominance, and had to call the cops, so we all bailed the fuck out of that place pretty quick. The five of us got back to Ryan's apartment and realized our main man Skip had made a bit of an oversight when he was trawling the high school parking lot for ass. He only brought along two broads and there were three guys, so someone was gonna have to be the odd man out. I can't speak for Ryan and Skip, but I know that I don't compromise myself. It's pussy or nothing. If it's a three-way, it's gotta be two girls. And it always is. Anyhow, me and Ryan and Skip were all drunk and horny and mad and we just fucking went at it and all kicked each other's asses for the right to get some from Valerie and Courtney, who were sort of sprawled out on the couch recovering from the night's earlier festivities. In a show of powerful alcohol-induced strength that only someone such as myself can summon, I threw Ryan and Skip to the ground, where both were momentarily stunned. At that point, I was torn as to who I should kick while down. This was Ryan's place, and you don't beat a man down in his own place. Then again, I was fighting to fuck, and I wouldn't have any ass if it wasn't for my man Skip, who saved me from the knife-wielding metrosexual earlier that night. So I decided to just fucking kick Ryan in the balls with my steel-toed boot and throw his beaten-down ass in the bathroom to recover, while Skip and I were to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Skip took his girl, who I think was Melanie, back to Ryan's bedroom, which left me with the couch, which I really had no problem with. Problem was, Shannon, being Irish, doesn't know when the fuck to put down the bottle, and she was throwing up pretty hard at this point, and was in no condition to ride the Morrison Express. So being compassionate, I threw her passed-out ass in the bathroom with Ryan's passed-out ass, where they could have some sort of unconscious sex, I dunno. It was looking bad for me, because I needed to get some somewhere, so I went down to the apartment complex's laundry room to get some food out of the vending machines so as to distract me from my lack of getting any. When I was down there, I saw some girl who was more round than not, and me being drunk and desperate, pretty much let her have her way with me. So in the end, I guess we all won, except for Ryan, who had a hangover, no sex, and sore balls. But in spite of all the shit I put him through, he was like "it's okay man, I know where you're coming from, totally," and he didn't mind at all. In fact, he was honored to take an asskicking from a guy like me. And then there's my man Skip. Skip probably had the best night, and though he's the man with the plan for these nights, he thanked me for giving him the chance to prove himself. I should have thanked him for saving my life, but come on, who really owes the gratitude here. And that was a night we'll always remember, except the broads, who we haven't seen since.

[Ripper 0]

Oddly I just wrote one of those but I got to the part where my friend JDAWG was getting head from a 15 year old in the back of a cab, and realized how unfunny it was...even from ME.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Czech did a great job for someone who I'd figure is on the outside looking in, so to speak.

[The Czech Republic 0]

yeah pretty much

 

quiet you

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

Not too bad... not too bad.

[1234-5678 0]

Even if it's purpose is to make fun of me, it still served it's purpose of entertaining me when I got off of work. Czech, you're the fucking man.

[The Czech Republic 0]

It was to make fun of you in the light-hearted roasting way.

[1234-5678 0]

For the love of God, keep em coming before I do one myself.

[Skywarp! 0]

Czech definitely scored a couple points with me for that post.

[The Czech Republic 0]

I don't think there's anywhere left to go with it.

[Guest Vitamin X]

This forum has been severely lacking in things to read lately. It's not just HD, either. I used to be able to go through all the forums and find something new, then do it over and over again and pretty much keep me entertained all day.

 

But TSM is fast approaching WDI levels of traffic lately, it seems.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Yeah maybe we need some sort of membership drive.

[The Czech Republic 0]

"Come post at our wrestling forums. Just don't go in the wrestling folders."

[Guest cosbywasmurdered]

I could invade some boards and tell them my name Is Stephan Popick and that I own TSM and want them to join.

 

That's always worked.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Ah, Quality Poster is viewing this thread!! Perhaps he will come and make things better!

[Guest Vitamin X]

Damn.

[1234-5678 0]

Yet another letdown and yet another failure from Quality Poster.

 

Ah, life sucks.

[Art Sandusky 0]

Notice I haven't been around much either? I am so the life and soul of this place.

[1234-5678 0]

Let me tell you all a story. A story of how I am the fucking coolest guy in the Lake Michigan Tri-State region.

 

I was out Sunday night (yeah I'm not afraid to go out on Sundays) with my buds Ryan and Skip, and some hot pieces of ass from the local high school came along too. They dig college guys, you know, and we've got what they want. So we went to the local dive, because face it, we're cheap, and we're not out to get the best beer around. This is a night for puking and fucking, that's all. They were playing some gay-ass shit on the jukebox, Real McCoy or Ace Of Base, some crap like that. So I took the bartender and grabbed him by the throat, and put him up against the wall and said "listen here you son of a bitch, we came here to party, and to party, we need music that DOESN'T FUCKING SUCK!" While I still had him in a chokehold, Skip came over and kicked him in the shin. Kind of useless, but Skip's not the kind of guy we bring along for reinforcement in a barroom brawl. Skip is our bait for getting some hot pieces of ass. The bartender did not have us thrown out, rather, he commended me for my brute strength and decisiveness, and allowed me to pick the music. He understood by my display of dominance that I was the "alpha" male, and should be allowed to have my way. Naturally, I put together a playlist with some CDs from the back of my car, and it was gonna be the Doors and Guns n Roses all fucking night long. So Ryan and I threw down about eight beers, and Skip was working on a Zima like the fucking pussy that he is, but like I said, we bring Skip so that Skip brings the ass. Now I don't remember the names of the girls. I'm pretty sure one was Melanie, and one very well may have been Shannon. No wait, maybe the first one was Valerie. At any rate, they were getting pretty trashed, so we figured it was time to head back to Ryan's place. Some little Express-For-Men pussy came up to us and said we didn't know how to treat a lady. As the sexiest womanizer around, I naturally took umbrage at his remarks, and was about to kick his ass when the fucker actually PULLED A KNIFE ON ME. He said "I could fucking kill you right now," but then I see a beer bottle get fucking CRACKED over his gelled hair. ANd who do I fucking see but SKIP! That little son of a bitch came through for me. I couldn't believe it. At this point, the bartender could not legally be impressed by our masculine dominance, and had to call the cops, so we all bailed the fuck out of that place pretty quick. The five of us got back to Ryan's apartment and realized our main man Skip had made a bit of an oversight when he was trawling the high school parking lot for ass. He only brought along two broads and there were three guys, so someone was gonna have to be the odd man out. I can't speak for Ryan and Skip, but I know that I don't compromise myself. It's pussy or nothing. If it's a three-way, it's gotta be two girls. And it always is. Anyhow, me and Ryan and Skip were all drunk and horny and mad and we just fucking went at it and all kicked each other's asses for the right to get some from Valerie and Courtney, who were sort of sprawled out on the couch recovering from the night's earlier festivities. In a show of powerful alcohol-induced strength that only someone such as myself can summon, I threw Ryan and Skip to the ground, where both were momentarily stunned. At that point, I was torn as to who I should kick while down. This was Ryan's place, and you don't beat a man down in his own place. Then again, I was fighting to fuck, and I wouldn't have any ass if it wasn't for my man Skip, who saved me from the knife-wielding metrosexual earlier that night. So I decided to just fucking kick Ryan in the balls with my steel-toed boot and throw his beaten-down ass in the bathroom to recover, while Skip and I were to enjoy the fruits of our labor. Skip took his girl, who I think was Melanie, back to Ryan's bedroom, which left me with the couch, which I really had no problem with. Problem was, Shannon, being Irish, doesn't know when the fuck to put down the bottle, and she was throwing up pretty hard at this point, and was in no condition to ride the Morrison Express. So being compassionate, I threw her passed-out ass in the bathroom with Ryan's passed-out ass, where they could have some sort of unconscious sex, I dunno. It was looking bad for me, because I needed to get some somewhere, so I went down to the apartment complex's laundry room to get some food out of the vending machines so as to distract me from my lack of getting any. When I was down there, I saw some girl who was more round than not, and me being drunk and desperate, pretty much let her have her way with me. So in the end, I guess we all won, except for Ryan, who had a hangover, no sex, and sore balls. But in spite of all the shit I put him through, he was like "it's okay man, I know where you're coming from, totally," and he didn't mind at all. In fact, he was honored to take an asskicking from a guy like me. And then there's my man Skip. Skip probably had the best night, and though he's the man with the plan for these nights, he thanked me for giving him the chance to prove himself. I should have thanked him for saving my life, but come on, who really owes the gratitude here. And that was a night we'll always remember, except the broads, who we haven't seen since.

Hey look, it's the last time that HD was funny.

 

For the love of God, put in some work people.

[The Man in Blak 0]

If only we had your grasp of unintentional hilarity.

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

So the only time HD is funny is when it's about you? That's incredibly conceited.

[The Czech Republic 0]

Let's make fun of JAxlMorrison some more so that he can enjoy HD and we can rip on him.

[Modern Man's Hustle 0]

Only problem is that I don't feel like devoting 10 minutes to think entirely about Jaxl. If it was Incandenza and his Superfriends, though, I'd devote 20.

[... 0]

Ah, Quality Poster is viewing this thread!! Perhaps he will come and make things better!

<---

 

Close enough, right? Right?

 

 

 

 

 

Anyone have any favored methods of suicide to suggest?

[1234-5678 0]

Only problem is that I don't feel like devoting 10 minutes to think entirely about Jaxl. If it was Incandenza and his Superfriends, though, I'd devote 20.

Suckass.