WWE To Make Campy Movies!

[Guest iwcmvp]

“WWE To Release Campy Movies”

 

Dear Wrestling Fans,

 

WWE films will be producing a number of low budget campy films in attempt to make WWE films more profitable. WWE management is taking this action because its being predicted by experts that The Marine staring John Cena will be a huge money loser and Steve Austin’s three picture deal with the company will be a major flop. Fans of such movies as Invasion of the Space Preachers and I was a TV Terrorist can rejoice once WWE releases their two newest films “The Sloppy Jo Massacre” and “Baby Phobia”.

 

Baby Phobia’s plot will be about a local nursery that has it’s babies turned into toxic mutants. The babies will be turned into mutants after the nursery suffers at the hands of a toxic waste spill that transforms their babies into literally little hellions. The babies will start to take over the world by using their toxic puke, pee, and poo poo has weapons on the entire population. President George Bush will hire Gene Snitsky has his own personal baby killer to put a stop to the toxic mutants. Will Gene be able to put a stop to the babies or will it be his fault when the world is run by toxic baby mutants?

 

The Sloppy Jo Massacre will feature Spike Dudley playing Dr. Dorkface as a unemployed scientists that accepts a job at the local high school cafeteria. Spike Dudley will be picked on by various people including high school quarterback played by Chris Masters, The Homecoming Queen Monta Sally played by WWE Diva Maria, The Captain of the Cheerleading team Bimbona played by WWE Diva Candice, and Sexual Education Teacher Mr. Laid played by Simon Dean. Dr, Dorkface will put a chemical solution into the school’s supply of Sloppy Jo causing it to turn into a giant Sloppy Jo Monster played by Matt Morgan. The Sloppy Joe monster goes onto a rampage killing all of Dr. Dorkface’s enemies. As a special bonus, there is a shower scene where Maria gets killed and a steamy sex scene between Masters and Candice that ends up in a Sloppy Joe Massacre. Will anyone be able to stop the Sloppy Jo Monster or will Dr.Dorkface’s evil creation prevail?

 

WWE feels these campy movies will make some of their lower card wrestlers such as Spike Dudley and Gene Snitsky into much bigger stars, since they be getting a rub from Hollywood. Fans of the corporate elite of Hollywood will be disappointed with this decision from WWE but independent movie goers should be quite happy with this decision WWE has made. Only time will tell if Campy movies will be the wave of the future for WWE films! Peace out and have a nice day

 

Sincerely,

 

Chickie Singer

[cabbageboy 0]

I'd think Kane's Eye Scream Man or whatever it is now will be campy enough as it is. Oh and The Marine doesn't have a big enough budget to lose a huge amount.

[Black Lushus 0]

you're not supposed to respond to these, cabbage!

[razazteca 0]

As a fan of campy dorky high school movies like Zapp!, Teen Wolf Too, Rock & Roll High school, Toxic Avenger I will be looking forward to Sloppy Jo Massacre. Any word on who the director is.....is it too much to ask for Lloyd Kaufman?

[JHawk 0]

How sad is it that I know this is a joke post and yet I can still see it happening?

[Guest CronoT]

How sad is it that I know this is a joke post and yet I can still see it happening?

Because it's Vince.

[razazteca 0]

48,000 fans will watch these movies more than once.

[cabbageboy 0]

Lushus I knew it was an attempt at humor, but just responded to the couple of actual points I saw in it.

 

As far as WWE Films go, I demand an Eddie/RVD cop buddy movie. One is an ultra intense, pissed off Mexican...the other a laid back surfer type. Can they take out a drug lord and save some hot chicks?