Heart Break Kid to star in Rest In Peace NWO!

[Guest mellowyellow]

“Heart Break Kid to star in Rest in Peace N.W.O!”

 

Dear Wrestling Fans,

 

Shawn Michaels has reached a deal with Christian Media films to star in Rest in Peace N.W.O. The movie’s plot will be about the coming of the end of the world. All the Christians in the world will be taken up in the rapture during Doomsday except for Shawn Micheals, Marty Jannetty, and Sting. God will provide visions for the wrestling superstars on how to defeat the empire know as the New World Order.

 

The movie will feature Donald Rumsfield revealing himself to be the Anti-Christ and demanding the beheading of everyone that doesn’t receive a mark of the beast on their right hand or forehead and praising Rumsfield’s name. Christianity will be banned from the world, all the countries of the world will come together as one world government, Donald Rumsfield will have his picture printed on every public building, their will great starvation throughout the world, and wars raging across the world like never before.

 

Are wrestling heroes Shawn Michaels, Marty Jannetty, and Sting will be approached by former N.W.O. bodyguards Virgil and Stevie Ray who recently quit because they felt they were nothing more than just slaves. Virgil and Stevie Ray will give Michaels, Janetty, and Sting some shocking footage. The footage will include Rumsfield planning 911 with the Saudi Arabians that delivered the attacks, Rumsfield bragging about how the Patriot Act will take away the American’s rights to defend themselves against the N.W.O. government, and boasting about how the war in Iraqi was planned by the United States to cripple the United States government so Marshal Law could be declared and the US Constitution can be put on hold. Michaels, Jannetty, and Sting will attempt to break into the Fox News tape room but New World Order bodyguards Scott Hall, Kevin Nash, and Sean Waltman will surround the room. Our wrestling heroes will defeat the New World Order bodyguards and gain access into the Fox News tape room. The wrestling heroes will then play the tapes of Rumsfield deceiving the world, which will be seen on the Foxes News Program. This will cause the millions to revolt against the New World Order government but the N.W.O will brainwash the attackers by showing them footage of our wrestling heroes. The footage will show our wrestling heroes breaking into the tape room followed by footage of Michaels on the Playgirl channel, Marty Janetty snorting coke, and Sting having a fourway while Sting’s wife unexpectedly walks in on the action while breaking down in tears. Donald Rumsfield will ask the large group of N.W.O. attackers “How can you believe a porn star, a coke head, and a low-life cheat. Sting and the Rockers are the real anti-chirst. Let’s kill them!”. The millions will then chant “Die Die Die Sting and Rockers!”.

 

Marty Jannetty and Shawn Michaels will then go to the Free Mason Headquarters, which will be the hang out of the New World Order. The Rockers will dress up like Mexican Luchadoers while calling themselves Lucha 1 and Lucha 2. The Rockers will knock on the door and ask the Masons if they want to see a free wrestling match. The Masons being big wrestling fans will come outside to enjoy a five star classic between Lucha 1(Shawn Michaels) and Lucha 2 (Marty Jannetty). Ralphus from WCW will make a Cameo because he will be the one driving the truck containing the wrestling ring and will help set up the ring. While the Masons enjoy the wrestling action, Sting will break into the Mason Headquarters by climbing up on the roof of the building and drilling a large hole into the top. Sting will fly down the ceiling like he did while in WCW and plant a time bomb in Donald Rumsfield’s bunker. The Mason Headquarters will be the home of Donald Rumsfield in the movie. The bomb will destroy Donald Rumsfield and then the New World Order leaders will start to argue with each other on who should be the new Anti-Christ. Dick Cheney, Tony Blair, Jeb Bush, John Kerry, and many other famous political figures will make arguments on why they should be Donald Rumsfield’s replacement.

 

Shawn Michaels will put an end to the New World Order by sending a downloadable file to the world computer of a match between The Rockers VS The Brain Busters (Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard) in a best two out of three falls match. The world computer is the computer that tracks everyone in the world on a satellite tracking device in outer space, which is signaled by the mark of the beast on peoples foreheads and right hands. The virus will case the giant satellites to fall out of the sky and destroy the world. Our wrestling heroes will be taken to heaven before they are harmed and God will make a cameo at the end of the movie before the satellites crashes down on earth. God will tell the billions of nonbelievers “You will now pay for your sins. Enjoy your spiritual life without me because you do not know me!”. The ending of the movie will include all the nonbelievers being burned in Hell, while Satan breaks out an evil laugh.

 

Shawn Michael’s new Christian movie has the potential to be better than the Left Behind series and hopefully warn nonbelievers of the end of times. The movie will also provide us with many campy moments, which may be a first with a hardcore Christian film. We can only pray that Michael’s acting ability has improved, since the infamous Baywatch episode. Peace out and have a nice day

 

Sincerely,

 

Chickie Singer

[MrRant 0]

Too much work.

 

MrRant Thumbs Down

[Dangerous A 0]

That reads hilarious!!

 

It's fake as hell, but damn funny.

[Guest Vitamin X]

The fuck?

 

And hey, I'm glad they've gone back to banning people by deleting accounts rather than placing them in different "member groups".

[starvenger 0]

I'm surprised that this hasn't been locked yet...

[Dandy 0]

I don't think I will go see this movie.

[Guest *KNK*]

Says you, I'll already put down my eight bucks.

[Guest SP-1]

This is why, as a Christian, I want to go into film.

 

To not make movies like this.

[LaParkaMarka 0]

What did you think of Dogma, SP?

[iggymcfly 0]

mellowyellow got banned!?! That's bullshit!

 

This is the funniest thing I've read all month. Come on, the Rockers dressing up as luchadors to distract the government while Sting plants a bomb? That's tremendous!