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Right now I want to cut myself


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Guest StylesMark
Posted

Eat my arm off and shit it out??? I'm not sure I've ever been in that much emotional pain...

 

I've been good the last few days though. She was lookin hot as usual today, but she basically gets the cold shoulder from me now, and doesn't like it. Bitch.

 

I too, had a cheesey gordita crunch just this past Sunday night. There is no need to cut, what with all that GOOEY cheese!

Guest StylesMark
Posted
So give us an idea of what this girl is really like. Begin with how much you're going to laugh at yourself for such behavior ten years from now, if you haven't offed yourself by then.

 

 

It would be difficult.

 

She's very easy on the eyes. She goes to the gym, runs and generally takes good care of herself. She drinks a little more than I'd prefer. I probably smoke a little more pot than she'd prefer. She loves the Yankees, Seinfeld, Larry David and Star Wars. She has a boyfriend who's she's very loyal to, in weird ways. She wouldn't go out to lunch with me because of him. She was very closed up at first as there was a noted, mutual attraction. She was everything I wanted, and I was everything her boyfriend wasn't.

 

Things heated up around the X-mas party. Lots of booze, dancing and good times. But X-mas we were calling/texting one another every weekend, as we missed one another. But she would never come to SEE me...that would make it to real. She would only give veiled references about us, otherwise it would be too real. When things would heat up so much that she would HAVE to recognize them/comment on them, she'd buckle. Go back to the boyfriend excuse and say that it isn't right, she has to give him time. He's younger than her, more immature, just out of college.

 

I think I got to my breaking point with it though. I didn't want to "break them up" myself, even though my actions made that cloudy from time to time. I wanted her to see what she was missing, and do it herself. But she'd always buckle when things got too heated/too real. I couldn't/can't wait anymore.

Posted
So give us an idea of what this girl is really like. Begin with how much you're going to laugh at yourself for such behavior ten years from now, if you haven't offed yourself by then.

 

 

Things heated up around the X-mas party. Lots of booze, dancing and good times. But X-mas we were calling/texting one another every weekend, as we missed one another. But she would never come to SEE me...that would make it to real. She would only give veiled references about us, otherwise it would be too real. When things would heat up so much that she would HAVE to recognize them/comment on them, she'd buckle. Go back to the boyfriend excuse and say that it isn't right, she has to give him time. He's younger than her, more immature, just out of college.

 

 

 

Wait, you mean to tell me that your in your 20's doing all this bullshit (if it's not a work).

Why do you think she'd fucking want a cutter in her 20's. How fucking mature are you when your doing the same shit 13 year old girls do.

Posted

I must say that self mutilation is not an issue of maturity. True, young teens often engage in it because of a group mentality and other social pressures, but the real thing is a genuine psychological condition unaffected by age or maturity.

Guest StylesMark
Posted

Yeah, no shit.

 

Which is why all of this is dropped. She has no idea I've ever cut. It's been over a week. Fuck that ho, yo.

Posted

Cutting is lame- if you're not going to straight up off yourself, go find some other way to get attention. Get a hobby or something.

 

By the way- I have never had a cheesy gordita thingy. But you all have convinced me.

Guest Fishyswa
Posted

"but the real thing is a genuine psychological condition"

 

I believe the technical term is retarded. Someone should take away your food, house and health for a year so you understand what real problems are.

Guest StylesMark
Posted

You guys tend to make it a bigger deal than it is.

 

My ex called today from the beach. Not sure if she was trying to rub it in, or just showing genuine concern for me. The knife will decide later.

Guest Fishyswa
Posted

"What, me? I don't do it. But no, it isn't retarded. People do get psychological disorders no matter how much you make fun of them."

 

No the thread starter. And I don't see how it qualifies as a disorder unless it's some sort of intelligence deficiency.

 

And what kind of sense does "you guys are making it bigger than it is" qualify in this case at all? You harm yourself, come online and talk about it like some dumb 12 year old emo kid, and everyone else is making it a big deal? Wake up. Grown men don't need to make cuts on there arms to deal with life, and if you do, you have a problem you should deal with, not talk about casually online.

Posted

Well, it's like being obsessive compulsive. Grown men don't need to wash their hands fifty times every time they touch someone... it doesn't even make sense. But they do. That's why it's a disorder.

Posted

Man, HBK needs some serious help then. His disorder must be really, really bad.

 

Oh- I thought this was relevant-

Q. How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A. None- they like to sit and cry in the dark. Bwaha.

 

I crack me up.

Guest Fishyswa
Posted

"Well, it's like being obsessive compulsive. Grown men don't need to wash their hands fifty times every time they touch someone... it doesn't even make sense. But they do. That's why it's a disorder."

 

That's about being clean, trying to acheive an reachable level of perfection. Cutting yourself is wallowing in self-pity, it's really two different things.

 

I'd rather be a nut who can't get his hands clean enough than some pussy who rather than solves problems, creates more.

Posted
"Well, it's like being obsessive compulsive. Grown men don't need to wash their hands fifty times every time they touch someone... it doesn't even make sense. But they do. That's why it's a disorder."

 

That's about being clean, trying to acheive an reachable level of perfection. Cutting yourself is wallowing in self-pity, it's really two different things.

 

I'd rather be a nut who can't get his hands clean enough than some pussy who rather than solves problems, creates more.

 

Well, I think it's more that they need to cut themselves because they need the release of physical pain to represent the emotional pain they have surpressed/can't deal with.

 

Like personally a few years ago I would punch myself in the face if I was really annoyed with something that had happend to me on an emotional level and I didn't want to deal with it. I'd actually feel a release from the emotional pain. Haven't done that in a good while though.

Posted

Cut your balls off next time. Real men deal with pain by getting drunk to the point we forget everything including our problems, they don't reach for the Wilkinson Sword pack. If the girl stays in a relationship where she isn't appreciated, she's a dumb cunt and no matter how many flowers you get her that won't change. She probably wouldn't want go from unappreciative guy to self mutilating attention seeking emo whacko anyway. If you are going to indulge in self mutilation and scarification, don't do it because some cooze is thick as shit and won't go out with you, do it because you have found an equally whacked out female into that stuff.

Posted

I'm with cam on this one. Only, if drinking ain't your thing, wrestle around with a couple of close friends. That's me and some of my buddies do: if we're going through some tough times, we wrestle and it gets it out of our systems.

 

Another reason some people cut themselves, beyond creating a physical reflection of their emotional pain, is to "bleed to make sure they're still alive." Or you could punch a hole in your bedroom wall because you girlfriend dumped you and then your dog shit in your room, like my buddy Mike did the other day.

Posted

I agree with cameron in that if you cut yourself to seek attention, it's stupid.

 

I agree with Milky that it may be a disorder in some cases, and there's nothing they can do about it.

 

I also agree that if you find a girl equally as wacked out and into that shit, there's nothing wrong with it.

 

Personally, hot gothic chick making me bleed turns me on a little too much.

 

I don't know, it doesn't really matter. Do what you want to get by. Everyone has their own way of things. But if you update your Live Journal about how you cut yourself again because the girl wouldn't go out with you, you're just seeking attention, and are indeed like a 13 year old emo girl.

Guest Fishyswa
Posted

You wanna have a sad little disorder, at least keep it to yourself, don't tell other people like some little girl crying out for help.

 

EVERYONE has emotional pain. If you really want to overcome it, remove yourself from your stable well off life for a month and go live in a place where people are too busy overcoming famine and disease to cut themselves because some girl got tired of their cock... The change of perspective alone will eradicate all that "pain".

Guest StylesMark
Posted

I generally just cut myself to let go of the pain.

 

It seems as if some of you would benefit from the same.

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