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SWF Lockdown Card 8-10-05

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The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation presents...


(5PM PST, 8PM EST; check local listings)


Send all materials (marked matches, promos, hershey kisses, etc.) to Ace309.


As of 8/5/05, all SWF wrestlers have been given a copy of the following memo, entitled Family Friendly Lockdown Rules:


To all SWF employees:


Despite the fact that Ground Zero was a Pay-Per View event, the SWF is still recieving a lot of complaints regarding its content. We have tried to explain to these watchdog groups that content from a pay service cannot be judged by free-TV standards, but they have shown footage of Ground Zero to some of our sponsors, and now the sponsors are unhappy. And if the sponsors are unhappy, everyone is unhappy.


We are doing our best to untangle this mess, but for the time being, Lockdown is going to remain a Family Friendly show.


I have come up with a list of Family Friendly rules, rules that I expect every SWF employee to follow.


1. No swearing. At all. Not in promos, not during matches, not within 100 feet of a television camera or audience member. Entrance themes that contain swearing will either be edited or replaced. Violation of this rule will result in a fine - $500 a pop.


2. Opponents will shake hands before and after every match. Violations will result in a stern talking to - repeated violations will result in a $500 fine per incident.


3. At the end of every match, the referee will raise the hands of both wrestlers, to show our audience that deep down, everyone is a winner.


4. Unconsciousness, or any signs of blood, will result in immediate stoppage of the match, which will be declared a draw.


5. Cracking some guy's head open with the ring steps might fly on Storm, but now we've got children in the front row. I know you all play to win, but winning should be your only goal out there on Lockdown. I don't want to see any attempts to cause greivous bodily harm or lasting injuries, and all matches should remain inside the ring. Myself and a few others will be reviewing the show - if we see any action that goes beyond simply trying to win a match, there will be consequences.


6. From the moment you reach the arena to five minutes after you've left, you are to be on your best behavior. I am trusting everyone here to be professional about maintaining a pleasant attitude and keeping their personal differences out of view of the audience, at least as far as Lockdown is concerned.


I know these changes may take some getting used to, but for the foreseeable future, we're stuck with them.


I will keep you all apprised of any developments with our sponsors and these watchdog groups as they occur.


-- Joseph Peters, CEO of The Smartmarks Wrestling Federation


So, tune in Wednesday night for some explosive action-




... what do you mean I can't say explosive?


... Jeez... ok, fine...


Tune in Wednesday Night for some fun-tastic action on Lockdown!




No... no, I am NOT putting the-






"Tune in Wednesday Night for some fun-tastic action on L :) ckd :) wn!"


I'm going to go jump off a bridge now.




The Main Event

Ejiro Fasaki vs. Landon "La Cucaracha" Maddix


--> Oh. Hell. YES. Maddix vs. Cortez has been signed for Genesis.


\m/ \m/


In the mean time, Landon Maddix revealed on Storm that his eyes were on a larger prize - the SWF World Heavyweight Championship. Since Landon and Todd have to be kept apart for a while, we decided to give Landon a taste of what he's after - tonight he goes up against very-recent World Champion, Ejiro Fasaki! If he manages to put Rule away, his arguments for a title shot might hold a little more sway. Then again, Ejiro's no pushover, and I'm sure he's itching to get back into the game. The question is: who wants it more?


Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 6000

Send to: Ace309




Ghost Machine vs. "The Dean of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke © - SWF International Championship Match


--> The reports are in - kids love Ghost Machine. Underneath his cold maybe-robot exterior is an icon that millions of children ages 5-10 have come to adore. We'd be crazy to keep him off this show.


More importantly, when Manson was all set up for a shot at Jay Hawke's International Championship, Ghost Machine scored an upset win over him! Ghosty was out of town for the PPV, but now he's back, and ready to cash in his shot against the Dean of Professional Wrestling!


Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 5500

Send to: Justice




Wildchild vs. Nick "The Hitlist" Blum


--> So Blum fell a little short in the Hardcore division, but hey - maybe that's just not his style. He's got more than a smattering of Cruiserweight background - let's see if he fares any better in that arena. Tonight, "The Hitlist" goes one on one with one of the SWF's most acclaimed Cruiserweights, Wildchild! Will we see an amazing upset (something our rookies seem more and more capable of)?


Rules: Standard, with Cruiserweight addendum - no throwing your opponent over the top rope, outside count goes to 20.

Word Count: 5000

Send to: janusd




JJ Johnson vs. "Hollywood" Spike Jenkins


--> The mysterious Ground Zero match that never was - actually, it's not so mysterious, Spike just got a touch of the flu. After a false start that almost required us to refund all of our PPV buys for false advertising, these two are ready to go!


Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 5000

Send to: chirs3




Zyon vs. Marcus Ward © (non title match)


--> Both of these guys are awesome. Zyon is awesome because he rocked the Hardcore division from day one, and has allowed me to come up with the phrase "pulling a Zyon", which is when a newbie wows everyone with their awesomeness. Marcus Ward is awesome because he pulled a Zyon. Zyon has expressed a wish to move up in the world, so this bout will be non-title - just a chance for these two proven hardcore warriors to showcase their other skills.


Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 4500

Send to: TheSuperstar




Devon Walters vs. "Big Country" Martin Hunt


--> The SWF's newest asset is Devon Walters, a monster of a man with a knack for giving people what they deserve. In his SWF debut, he goes up against perennial JTTS, Martin Hunt.


Rules: Standard singles match.

Word Limit: 4000

Send to: Ace309




Opening Promo: Pretzel-man.




Once again, my apologies to the unbooked. Your wookies are in the mail.


Apologies also for the lack o' polish in the descriptions - thought I had more time to tweak, but somethings come up.

Edited by chirs3

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The smileys just put it over the top for me, I cracked up totally.

This card looks really awesome, almost as good as the ppv in fact, I'm looking forward to reading AND writing (Woo to normal matches!)

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