Boon 0 Report post Posted August 8, 2005 BRENTWOOD, N.H. -- Emergency workers helped a New Hampshire man out of a difficult situation over the weekend after a friend apparently locked a padlock around his testicles. According to the Portsmouth Herald, police reported that the 39-year-old man was intoxicated when they arrived at the scene on July 30 at about 3:40 a.m. The man, who was not identified, told them that he had the padlock around his testicles for two weeks. The man said that a friend put the lock on while he was drunk and passed out. When he woke up, the friend was gone. "Never in my 13 years have I seen anything like this," Cpl. H.D. Wood told the Herald. The man told police that he tried to remove the lock with a hacksaw because the key had broken off in the lock. He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury. Police said that they did not know the motive for the incident. I think this could also be a good spring board for the OAO drunken pranks thread. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CanadianChris 0 Report post Posted August 8, 2005 How did it take this guy two weeks to get unlocked?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted August 8, 2005 He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury. I'm not an alien. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Corey_Lazarus 0 Report post Posted August 8, 2005 Only fun drunken prank was smothering a tampon in ketchup and putting it on my buddy's head when he was sleeping, and then lying it next to his face right before he woke up. That and hocking a few huge loogies into a condom and putting it on my friend's chin. But damn...padlocked nuts. I smell fetish porn. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
devo 0 Report post Posted August 9, 2005 He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury. I'm not an alien. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Then, I ram my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest. But, I'm not an alien! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darthtiki 0 Report post Posted August 9, 2005 But damn...padlocked nuts. I smell fetish porn. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> I was gonna say some people pay good money for that Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Corey_Lazarus 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2005 He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury. I'm not an alien. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Then, I ram my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest. But, I'm not an alien! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Normal view! Normal View! NORMAL VIEWWWWWW!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
devo 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2005 He was taken to Exeter Hospital, where a locksmith removed the padlock. He was treated and released, and the hospital said he had no lasting injury. I'm not an alien. <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Then, I ram my ovipositor down your throat and lay my eggs in your chest. But, I'm not an alien! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> Normal view! Normal View! NORMAL VIEWWWWWW!!! <{POST_SNAPBACK}> "What kinda shithole planet is this?" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Darthtiki 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2005 The Planet of THE AMAZING RANDO! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Matt Young 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2005 Why in God's name would he try to remove it with a hacksaw? That's just begging for trouble. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLAGIARISM! 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2005 OK, so if it was latched onto them, surely it would have to be tightly clipped, or it would fall off. How did it stay on that long without restricting blood flow to his nads? After two weeks they'd just fall off, surely? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2005 I'm sure it was tight enough to NOT completely harm his bloodflow and yet was still too tight to be able to fit around the balls. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boon 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2005 See, the way I read it, the padlock was inbetween his balls and the top of his scrotum. Like, pushed the balls to the bottom of the sack, put the padlock around the skin at the top. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLAGIARISM! 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2005 Either way, I guess this dude learned a valuable lesson. [End titles] Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Amazing Rando 0 Report post Posted August 10, 2005 my guess was that it was on him like an odd cock ring...right at the base of the shaft and around the balls... that's a smaller circle there and would create QUITE the problem as they wouldn't be able to be pulled off because of the balls in question. It would just squeeze everything together and push it out away from the body...like fever junk, only a shitload more painful, especially if any hair got caught in the lock. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Dr. Wrestlingphysics Report post Posted August 10, 2005 Yeah, cos hair getting caught is concern number one!!! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sideburnious 0 Report post Posted August 11, 2005 I guess the real question should be how big was the padlock. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
