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Nick and Jessica's new Reality Show:


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Guest Arnold_OldSchool
Posted

Nick Lachey and Jessica Simpson, America’s Newlyweds, have called it quits. For those of you so self-loathing as to closely follow these things, you’ll recall that in May, E! online reported that the couple had filed for divorce, only to mysteriously retract the story an hour later. But you knew, right then, that this was coming, didn’t you?

 

The couple is waiting to make an official announcement later in the month (at the appropriate career opportunity, we’re sure), but according to Us Weekly’s scoop — kept so under wraps that employees were not allowed to receive their advance issues yesterday, presumably for fear that People might rape and pillage the story — the marriage has been dead for some time. Well, duh.

 

The article has a laundry list of contributions to the break-up (mostly blamed on Jessica), including creepy-dad Joe Simpson, Jessica’s “diva” behavior, and her fondness for whiskey on the rocks. One of those ubiquitous sources close to the couple says, “Jessica’s the problem. She’s not the girl America fell in love with anymore.” Oh, young America, were you ever really in love with her? Or were you just lusting? C’mon, be honest.

 

And now, a moment of silence, please, so that we might hear the sound of every magazine editor in town simultaneously shitting themselves.

Posted

I figured they would have waited a couple years after the novelty of "mommy spears" wore off before they went the sex tape route.

Posted

Hopefully Nick & Jess didn't sign a pre-nup, Lushus, and Nick can take half of her money. Their getting divorce is living proof that the old saying is accurate: No matter how hot a chick is, there's some guy that's sick of putting up with her bullshit.

 

And that Britney Spears sex-tape is a bit late, IMHO. I'd have taken one on her 18th birthday, before she became complete trailer trash. But now? Thanks, but no thanks.

Posted

Yeah, but back in the day, quite a few people predicted that if Brit ever posed nude or released a sex tape (or, rather, had one "leaked" a la Paris) that it would be well after she'd broached has-been territory.

Posted

Nick Lachey was already famous to an extent before He and Jessica became famous and he comes from a very well off family as it were anyways.

 

Neither of them will suffer because of the divorce.

 

Nick always has the 98 Degrees reunion tour to fall back on and he's basically already preparing for a career in sports announcing and considering he's somewhat knowledgable about sports, he should be just fine.

 

Jessica? I can't see her music career striving because 1/2 her hits involved Nick in some way but she'll survive or fade out.

 

As for Britney? Trailer trash or not, that video will kick Pam and Tommy ; Paris off the top of the celeb sex tape list.

Posted

Eh, 98 Degrees was never really THAT big...they were overshadowed by NSync and Backstreet (even though they were in a different genre!)...once they broke up, Jessica's fame immediately overshadowed his to the point where it was like: "Hey, there's Jessica and her husband, what's-his-name"

Posted

The thing about Jessica is before she married Nick and got her own TV Show she was basically that "other girl" she wasn't Britney and she wasn't Christina. You could have lumped her with Mandy Moore and the other fringe Pop Stars. Marrying Nick boosted her career big time.

Guest Fishyswa
Posted

It was mutually beneficial. Apart she's a dumb, hot blonde who won't be able to sell anything other than her body, and he's that guy from that boy band.

Posted
Eh, 98 Degrees was never really THAT big...they were overshadowed by NSync and Backstreet (even though they were in a different genre!)...once they broke up, Jessica's fame immediately overshadowed his to the point where it was like: "Hey, there's Jessica and her husband, what's-his-name"

 

Didn't 98 degrees split before the marriage? It's irrlevant anyways but Nick's solo career was bombing because very few people have successfully broken away from boy groups and succeded as a solo star (in fact, only Timberlake has done so in the modern era of boy bands). Jessica's appeal was already slipping under the radar after her inital boom of success where she quickly slipped into that second tier of teen diva's alongside Mandy Moore, looking up at Britney and Christina.

 

They were a couple for years before the television show ever went into production, you have to wonder much the television show is to blame for it? A reality tv show causing the decline of their relationship seems like a horrible excuse but you have to figure the massive success of Jessica's career after the show and Nick basically being the Sonny Bono to Jessica's Cher had to drive Nick insane because Nick was just as "famous" as Jessica was prior to the show but because of Jessica's "personality" of being a ditz, he became the guy known as "tapping the hot ass dumb blonde".

 

Nick had to known Jessica's personality before the tv show and no man waits 3-5 years to finally have sex with a girl, especially a guy like him who can get a flock of beach blonde beauties with a snap of a finger.

 

The TV show is clearly to blame, it made Jessica less accessible to him, changed who she was and yet, Nick remained the same.

 

...

 

I don't even care about these two people and i just spent five minutes talking about them. DAMN.

Guest TheDon
Posted

People you seem to forget that the two broke up for what a year or two after they started dating. Then they got back together and later got married. I believe Nick was on Howard Stern a couple of years ago talking about all the fun he had during his bachelor days before him and Jessica got back together.

Guest Coffey
Posted

So Jessica saved her virginity for marriage so she could "give the ultimate gift" and now they're getting divorced?

 

Maybe they'll release a sex tape. I'd rather see that than trashy Brit and what's his fuck.

Posted
So Jessica saved her virginity for marriage so she could "give the ultimate gift" and now they're getting divorced?

 

The ultimate gift apparently includes a chick bleeding all over your dick and going "Ow, ow, ow, slow down" while you try to get down to business.

Posted

NOOOOOO

 

 

My heart is breaking

 

 

 

 

 

 

seriously what did you think was gonna happen after that reality show ended?

 

You had to know Nick was gonna get sick of her crap and leave. on that show you could just tell there was times when he wanted to smack her upside the head .

 

good for him, though not good for either of their carreers likely, as the Teeny POP era has largely ended.

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