Benoit 20, Johnson 4

[JJ Johnson 0]

Below is copy and pasted from an AIM convo I had with Janus, during which I provided running commentary on my 1-hour Ironman match against Benoit. And get my ass handed to me.

 

Enjoy!

 

 

--------------------------------------------

 

 

jdreiSWF (9:21:26 PM): Now to try something I've never done: beat Chris Benoit in a one-hour Ironman match on Expert.

jdreiSWF (9:21:47 PM): With frequent pauses to update you on the action, of course.

coreoftheproblem (9:21:54 PM): Huzzah!

coreoftheproblem (9:22:05 PM): An hour in game time? Or is it literally sixty minutes?

jdreiSWF (9:22:13 PM): Literally sixty minutes.

jdreiSWF (9:23:16 PM): Pins are on, submissions are on, DQ is on, first blood is off, KO is off, rope breaks are on, entrances are off, and the ring-out count is 20 seconds.

jdreiSWF (9:23:57 PM): Because the outside is my house.

jdreiSWF (9:25:02 PM): Christ, the pyro that forms an arc of flames is awesome.

jdreiSWF (9:26:21 PM): Two chops from J3, goes for a punch but Benoit blocks.

jdreiSWF (9:26:33 PM): Dragon Screw from Benoit.

jdreiSWF (9:26:52 PM): LARIATOOOOOOO~

jdreiSWF (9:26:59 PM): from J3. Gets 1.

jdreiSWF (9:27:58 PM): I go for a German, blocked, switch, Benoit hits me with elbows to the back then Germans me.

jdreiSWF (9:28:46 PM): Nagata Lock from me, but Benoit succesfully guesses what I was trying for and it's immediately broken.

jdreiSWF (9:28:52 PM): Okay, that requires explanation.

jdreiSWF (9:29:40 PM): There's four options: Submit, Drain, Rest Hold, and Taunt, each chosen by pointing the C-Stick in their respective direction. You pick one, and the opponent picks one. If the opp guesses the same one you did, the hold is broken.

jdreiSWF (9:31:02 PM): CROSSFACE

jdreiSWF (9:31:17 PM): But I reverse, and roll out of it

jdreiSWF (9:31:25 PM): And earn a finisher to boot! Huzzah!

jdreiSWF (9:32:09 PM): AMAZING IMPACT

jdreiSWF (9:32:14 PM): 3 count

coreoftheproblem (9:32:26 PM): How does that work? Finisher earning I mean.

coreoftheproblem (9:32:40 PM): The SD series needs MAJOR work in that regard and how deadly finishers are, on a sidenote.

jdreiSWF (9:32:44 PM): The same as on the Smackdown games. Build up your meter doodad until you get a finisher.

jdreiSWF (9:33:18 PM): And yeah, finishers are either completely lethal or ever-so-wimpy in the SD series.

jdreiSWF (9:33:24 PM): J3: 1

Benoit: 0

56:59 remaining

jdreiSWF (9:34:11 PM): Punch from Benoit...BLOCKED! ROLLING ELBOW!

jdreiSWF (9:34:21 PM): LARIATOOOOOOOOOOO~

jdreiSWF (9:34:26 PM): MISSESOOOOOOOOOO~

jdreiSWF (9:34:42 PM): BRAINBUSTAH~!

jdreiSWF (9:34:54 PM): Benoit kicks out at 2

jdreiSWF (9:35:42 PM): CROSSFACE

jdreiSWF (9:35:46 PM): PICKED WRONG

jdreiSWF (9:36:01 PM): J3 TAPS

jdreiSWF (9:36:16 PM): J3: 1

Benoit: 1

55:42 remaining

jdreiSWF (9:37:53 PM): STERNNESS DUST...Benoit flips out

jdreiSWF (9:38:13 PM): CROSSFACE

jdreiSWF (9:38:17 PM): J3 TAPS

coreoftheproblem (9:38:28 PM): Man.

coreoftheproblem (9:38:33 PM): Move acquisition is right quick on this.

jdreiSWF (9:38:39 PM): Benoit: 2

J3: 1

54:31 remaining

jdreiSWF (9:38:58 PM): He reversed a finisher, thus earning him a finisher.

jdreiSWF (9:39:22 PM): And his momentum is way up, so his meter is filling faster.

jdreiSWF (9:39:58 PM): GERMAN FROM J3

jdreiSWF (9:40:01 PM): REVERSED

jdreiSWF (9:40:05 PM): GERMAN FROM BENOIT

jdreiSWF (9:40:07 PM): REVERSED

jdreiSWF (9:40:16 PM): BACKDROPDRIVAAAAHHHHHH~!

jdreiSWF (9:40:38 PM): 2.9999 count!

jdreiSWF (9:41:14 PM): Single-leg crab

jdreiSWF (9:41:17 PM): J3 taps

jdreiSWF (9:41:29 PM): Benoit: 3

J3: 1

53:32 remaining

jdreiSWF (9:41:45 PM): Benoit gets his finisher...

jdreiSWF (9:41:48 PM): Johnson bails!

jdreiSWF (9:42:14 PM): Benoit rolls Johnson back into the ring!

jdreiSWF (9:42:17 PM): CROSSFACE!

jdreiSWF (9:42:28 PM): I pick the right one, submission thankfully broken.

jdreiSWF (9:42:48 PM): ROARING ELBOWWW~~!~!~!~!~!!!!~

jdreiSWF (9:43:02 PM): 2 COUNT?!?

jdreiSWF (9:43:08 PM): The FUCK?!

jdreiSWF (9:43:42 PM): STERNNESS DUST~!

jdreiSWF (9:43:45 PM): Rope break

jdreiSWF (9:43:55 PM): SECOND STERNNESS DUST~!

jdreiSWF (9:43:57 PM): ...

jdreiSWF (9:44:00 PM): Oh my fucking God.

jdreiSWF (9:44:09 PM): He didn't.

jdreiSWF (9:44:17 PM): He DID.

jdreiSWF (9:44:22 PM): BENOIT KICKED OUT.

coreoftheproblem (9:45:04 PM): Benoit > you.

jdreiSWF (9:45:11 PM): Apparently.

jdreiSWF (9:45:39 PM): So, he's kicked out of the Elbow, and the STERNNESS Dust.

jdreiSWF (9:45:57 PM): That leaves the 450, and the Boilermaker.

coreoftheproblem (9:46:24 PM): I half expect to hear you tried the Boilermaker.

coreoftheproblem (9:46:31 PM): Only to have Benoit Orange Crush you Flesher/Ejiro stylez.

jdreiSWF (9:46:44 PM): Nah, Orange Crush isn't in the game. That's something you can lord over me.

coreoftheproblem (9:46:59 PM): Hah.

jdreiSWF (9:47:23 PM): AMAZING IMPACT

jdreiSWF (9:47:35 PM): Too close to the ropes

jdreiSWF (9:47:51 PM): Koppu kick

jdreiSWF (9:47:55 PM): Climb to the top rope

jdreiSWF (9:48:04 PM): WORLD'S MOST IRONIC DIVING HEADBUTT~!

jdreiSWF (9:48:22 PM): 1 count. Stop kicking out of S moves, you bastard.

jdreiSWF (9:48:42 PM): AMAZING IMPACT IN THE CENTER OF THE RING

jdreiSWF (9:48:56 PM): ...ANKLE LOCK?!?!?!?

jdreiSWF (9:49:06 PM): ...

jdreiSWF (9:49:12 PM): Damn game.

coreoftheproblem (9:49:46 PM): ANKLE LOCKS~!

jdreiSWF (9:50:06 PM): Whip to the corner.

jdreiSWF (9:50:18 PM): Punch. (In place of a SHORYUKEN~!)

coreoftheproblem (9:50:27 PM): SHORYUKEN! > punch.

jdreiSWF (9:50:32 PM): Get Special.

coreoftheproblem (9:50:55 PM): You should KO him somehow. And get like five pins off his corpse.

jdreiSWF (9:51:02 PM): Boilermaker. I'm lifting him to the top rope when I paused it, and he hasn't reversed it. It's gone into the animation, so I'm definitely going to hit it.

jdreiSWF (9:51:09 PM): And I really regret turning KOs off.

jdreiSWF (9:51:21 PM): Unpaused.

jdreiSWF (9:51:39 PM): BBBBBBBRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIINNNNNNNBBBBBUUUUUSSSSSSTTTTTTTAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAHHHHHHHHH~!!!!!~!~!~!!~!~!~!!~!!!!~~!!!

jdreiSWF (9:51:52 PM): ...

jdreiSWF (9:51:55 PM): I fucking quit.

jdreiSWF (9:52:21 PM): Not even a 2 count.

jdreiSWF (9:52:43 PM): AMAZING IMPACT gets a two.

coreoftheproblem (9:53:34 PM): ....

coreoftheproblem (9:53:37 PM): Make him tap.

jdreiSWF (9:53:49 PM): That would be awesome, if I had any submission moves.

jdreiSWF (9:53:54 PM): Wait a minute.

jdreiSWF (9:54:00 PM): I have the Cobra Clutch in my sigs.

jdreiSWF (9:54:22 PM): And, thanks to the magic of stealing finishers...

jdreiSWF (9:54:45 PM): Lets try one more STERNNESS Dust.

jdreiSWF (9:55:00 PM): And the 450...

jdreiSWF (9:55:07 PM): That Benoit rolls out of the way of.

jdreiSWF (9:55:10 PM): God dammit.

coreoftheproblem (9:55:13 PM): On a rnadom note, you remind me the SD games need better dodging counters.

coreoftheproblem (9:55:24 PM): Watching Janus do backflips over people just isn't right.

jdreiSWF (9:55:39 PM): Benoit goes for the headbutt!

jdreiSWF (9:55:48 PM): Unfortunately for him, I am standing, and simply move out of the way.

jdreiSWF (9:56:02 PM): Pin, gets 1.

jdreiSWF (9:56:41 PM): CROSSFACE

jdreiSWF (9:56:43 PM): Taps.

jdreiSWF (9:56:57 PM): Benoit: 4

Johnson: 1

46:52 remaining

jdreiSWF (9:57:12 PM): Well, I lasted seven minutes.

jdreiSWF (9:58:29 PM): Cross armbreaker.

jdreiSWF (9:58:39 PM): Benoit has now forced a tapout on every one of my body parts.

jdreiSWF (9:58:50 PM): Benoit: 5

Johnson: 1

45:51 remaining

jdreiSWF (10:00:24 PM): I go for the lariat...

jdreiSWF (10:00:33 PM): BENOIT CATCHES ME IN THE CROSSFACE

jdreiSWF (10:00:54 PM): 6-1 Benoit. 44:15 left.

jdreiSWF (10:01:15 PM): I hit the lariat!

jdreiSWF (10:01:26 PM): And don't even get the chance to scream when he kicks out. He no-sells it.

coreoftheproblem (10:01:29 PM): Benoit Is God. Literally. You can't keep him down. o.o

jdreiSWF (10:01:42 PM): And he can make me submit at will.

jdreiSWF (10:02:27 PM): Crossface. 7-1 Benoit. 43:33 left.

jdreiSWF (10:02:32 PM): See what I mean?

jdreiSWF (10:03:44 PM): I GRAB A FUCKING KENDO STICK AND SWING IT AT HIM

jdreiSWF (10:03:53 PM): He reverses into a gutwrench suplex. That dick.

jdreiSWF (10:04:51 PM): CROSSFACE

jdreiSWF (10:04:57 PM): I guess correctly, for once.

jdreiSWF (10:05:43 PM): Two Sternness Dusts in a row. He kicks out at one.

jdreiSWF (10:07:03 PM): DRAGON SCREW

jdreiSWF (10:07:10 PM): Get Special, go up top for the 450...

jdreiSWF (10:07:15 PM): I'm out of stamina.

jdreiSWF (10:07:29 PM): This game is fucking rigged.

jdreiSWF (10:08:28 PM): I climb onto the apron, Benoit comes for me. I suplex him to the outside. That'll teach that sumbitch.

jdreiSWF (10:09:04 PM): I've dropped him on his head at least 8 times. What happened to his surgically repaired neck?

jdreiSWF (10:09:30 PM): Crossface, 8-1 Benoit, 38:58 left.

jdreiSWF (10:09:56 PM): This is interesting, because I wasn't aware the rule was 'no ropebreaks unless I'm doing the move'

jdreiSWF (10:10:27 PM): Rolling Germans, I kick out at 2.

jdreiSWF (10:11:13 PM): ...

jdreiSWF (10:11:15 PM): ...

jdreiSWF (10:11:16 PM): ...

jdreiSWF (10:11:21 PM): Knife-edge chop from Benoit.

jdreiSWF (10:11:25 PM): 1-2-3.

jdreiSWF (10:13:02 PM): I just got pinned off a damn chop.

coreoftheproblem (10:13:44 PM): ...

coreoftheproblem (10:13:47 PM): Rigged.

jdreiSWF (10:13:54 PM): Exactly.

jdreiSWF (10:14:07 PM): This warrants a Community/General topic once I'm done.

jdreiSWF (10:15:06 PM): I'm going to blame Dream Theater. I've been listening to one of their songs on repeat for the last 20 minutes.

jdreiSWF (10:16:21 PM): Rolling germans, 10-1

jdreiSWF (10:19:08 PM): Yeah, this is definitely becoming a Com/Gen topic.

jdreiSWF (10:19:51 PM): I bust him open with an elbow.

jdreiSWF (10:21:19 PM): 11-1, cross armbreaker.

coreoftheproblem (10:21:43 PM): You keep hitting him with giant moves and not pinning him.

coreoftheproblem (10:21:46 PM): Try something small.

coreoftheproblem (10:21:53 PM): Maybe it'd work.

jdreiSWF (10:22:00 PM): *armdrag*

jdreiSWF (10:22:04 PM): DING DING DING!

jdreiSWF (10:22:11 PM): Here is your winner via KNOCKOUT...

jdreiSWF (10:22:44 PM): Sharpshooter, 12-1

jdreiSWF (10:23:01 PM): Crossface, 13-1

coreoftheproblem (10:23:03 PM): So unbalanced it's not funny.

coreoftheproblem (10:23:12 PM): Okay, it IS funny.

coreoftheproblem (10:23:21 PM): But only from the "Haha, I'm not the one playing!" standpoint.

jdreiSWF (10:24:25 PM): Sharpshooter, 14-1, just passed the 30-minute mark.

jdreiSWF (10:25:06 PM): Wrist-clutch exploder, but now I'm so devoid of stamina that I can't even move.

coreoftheproblem (10:25:33 PM): Now he's just going to get up and apply a hammerlock to make you tap.

jdreiSWF (10:25:45 PM): I almost jobbed to a rear chinlock just now.

jdreiSWF (10:25:49 PM): Luckily, I picked the right one.

jdreiSWF (10:29:32 PM): On the plus side, I've gotten him to the third stage of bleeding.

coreoftheproblem (10:29:48 PM): Stage?

jdreiSWF (10:29:49 PM): To where it's running down his chest, and an elbow sends plasma sailing into the first row.

jdreiSWF (10:30:06 PM): There's three levels of bleeding.

jdreiSWF (10:30:18 PM): Busted open, bleeding badly, and Muta Scale

coreoftheproblem (10:30:38 PM): Swet.

coreoftheproblem (10:30:42 PM): ...sweet, even.

jdreiSWF (10:31:23 PM): ROARING ELBOW!!!

jdreiSWF (10:31:26 PM): ...

jdreiSWF (10:31:29 PM): ...

jdreiSWF (10:31:32 PM): 14-2~!

coreoftheproblem (10:31:41 PM): It's comeback time!

jdreiSWF (10:31:43 PM): ON THE COMEBACK TRAIL, BITCHES!

jdreiSWF (10:33:06 PM): Two roaring elbows and a lariat later, it's still 14-2

jdreiSWF (10:33:30 PM): ROARING ELBOW!!

jdreiSWF (10:33:31 PM): ...

jdreiSWF (10:33:36 PM): 450 SPLASH!!!

jdreiSWF (10:33:40 PM): 14-3~!

jdreiSWF (10:33:50 PM): 23:23 left

coreoftheproblem (10:34:39 PM): *starts obligatory FUCK HIM UP! chant*

jdreiSWF (10:36:08 PM): Crossface. 15-3. 21:35 left.

jdreiSWF (10:36:31 PM): He's immobilized! Thanks, stamina!

jdreiSWF (10:38:03 PM): STERNNESS DUST!

jdreiSWF (10:38:09 PM): ROARING ELBOW!

jdreiSWF (10:38:15 PM): 15-4~!

jdreiSWF (10:38:22 PM): 20:10 left.

jdreiSWF (10:38:58 PM): AMAZING IMPACT!

jdreiSWF (10:39:01 PM): 2 count.

jdreiSWF (10:39:58 PM): Okay, now the amount of blood is just disgusting.

jdreiSWF (10:40:47 PM): 16-4, Crossface. 18:26.

jdreiSWF (10:41:13 PM): 17-4, Crossface. 18:16.

coreoftheproblem (10:41:34 PM): Benoit: "Hah! You think you can defeat me? I AM GOD!"

jdreiSWF (10:41:54 PM): Earlier, I almost typed 150-3

coreoftheproblem (10:42:39 PM): That honestly would not have surprised me.

jdreiSWF (10:42:49 PM): Me either, sadly.

jdreiSWF (10:44:09 PM): Triple Germans, leading to the countout. 18-4.

jdreiSWF (10:52:47 PM): I quit, with 9:35 to go.

jdreiSWF (10:52:59 PM): Final score: Benoit 20, Johnson 4

coreoftheproblem (10:53:03 PM): ....burrrrrn.

jdreiSWF (10:53:21 PM): Now to put it on easy and drop him on his head to my heart's content.

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In other news, DOR2 now lies in the nearest trash can. Discuss.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

I demand Edwin MacPhisto face off against Chris Benoit for the "Who Can No-Sell Better" title, and Thoth versus JJ Johnson for the "Who Is A Giant Loser and Has Crappy-Ass Finishers" crown.

[devo 0]

Hey, the Scum Gale was cool.

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

Well, he never used it against Edwin in that epic Fire Pro match, so, bort.

[A Happy Medium 0]

Wait a minute...Benoit can sell.

 

Also, I never played DOR2...I mean, the Gamecube WWE game with throwing construction workers to their death to get back at Vince McMahon was more than enough to turn me off from it.

 

Now...do I dare rent Smackdown vs. Raw?

[JJ Johnson 0]

Ah, the Wrestlemania XIX story mode. So awful.

 

 

 

DOR2 is much better, and the story actually makes sense. And if you mean the new SvR, then yes. By all means. It's fantastic.