Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye Posted February 11, 2006 Report Posted February 11, 2006 Manowar bass player, Joey Demaio, made a startling announcement on Monday, stating that a member of the metal brotherhood, lead vocalist Eric Adams, had commited suicide early Saturday morning when he found out that he had a friend who is not into metal. Pinned to his leather jacket was this suicide note: "Hail to thee my metal brethren! If you are reading this, I have ridden my Harley to the big titty bar in the sky. For I had done a terrible thing. I had a friend who was not into heavy metal and in doing so, I have failed all that is Manowar. Frank seemed nice enough, but let this just be a lesson: wimps and posers can be well disguised as cool metal dudes. Learn from my lesson and ostracize everyone you know until they are into heavy metal and worthy of your friendship. You never know who might be a wimp and poser in disguise! Keep drinking and fucking! Long live Heavy Metal!!!" When asked about Manowar's future, Karl Logan was confident. "There's not one vocalist on this planet who wouldn't get on they're hands and knees and beg to be in this band. We are the greatest band on the planet and death to false metal." When asked about how they could possibly be serious because they really are the cheesiest metal band on the planet and are only famous in Germany, a country who loves Kylie Minogue and David Hasselhoff, Joey Demaio replied, "Death to thee metal poser!!! All other bands play, Manowar kill!!!" When asked if killing was wrong, Joey replied, "shut up." http://happydead.com/loadedg/viewtopic.php?t=2879
Guest Zarock Posted February 12, 2006 Report Posted February 12, 2006 That is so fucking awesome. All of it. Seriously. edit: I just wanna say that I really, really hope they play "Bridge of Death" at his funeral.
Guest Crimson Idol Posted February 12, 2006 Report Posted February 12, 2006 Oh ManOWaR! Born to live forever more The right to conquer every shore Hold your ground and give no more.. death to all who oppose manowar
CanadianGuitarist Posted February 13, 2006 Report Posted February 13, 2006 Even though he's a buddy of Baron and mine, there's a reason he doesn't post here, and neither of us can defend him. Also, the better Manowar line would have been to somehow equate "The gods made heavy metal, it's never gonna die" into the post.
Red Hot Thumbtack In The Eye Posted February 13, 2006 Author Report Posted February 13, 2006 add this to wikipedia Wikipedia is staffed by insane liberalists and pedophiles. I don't deal with them.
Matt Young Posted February 13, 2006 Report Posted February 13, 2006 Hilarious, but if only it were real.
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