An Easter Parable

[Guest InuYasha]

I found this on another website, so I thought I'd post it.

 

This story is not true. It is based upon Jesus' method of teaching by telling parables. This story has not happened; as far as I know....

 

One day, a son asked his mother how much she loved him. She spread her arms out wide and said, "This much." The son replied by spreading his arms out as far as he could, and said to her, "Well, I love you this...much." The mother replied, saying "Well, Jesus loves us all more than that." The son then asked, "How much does he love us?" The mother hesistated, thinking that her son was too young to know of the suffering and tribulations that Jesus endured for us. So, she told him, "He spent his life trying to tell us about the Good News." The son, somewhat confused and disappointed with the answer, simply said, "Oh, okay."

 

That night, the son had a dream. He was standing before Jesus. He, being a curious little boy, of course asked Jesus how much he loved him. Jesus replied, "My child, my precious litle child, I love you this much." He then spread out his arms and died on the cross.

 

 

 

This Easter, let us all remember why we celebrate.

[Hawk 34]

You know, I'm getting dragged to one of these easter deals tomorrow. Easter, is probably the most worthless holiday after the age of 10. Shit, even then Easter wasn't that great, it only seemed great because a few months had passed from the blitz of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Xmas and birthdays (for me) and you missed that feeling.

 

Easter, is really just people's excuse to act like they are morally secure when they make their once a year appearence.

 

Impress Jesus by going to Church in July, instead of tomorrow.

[Guest Sylvan Grenier]

The

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| Knight Bus ___.

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HAHA! You just got picked up by the Knight Bus!! That'll be eleven Sickles, but for thirteen you get hot chocolate, and for fifteen you get an hot water bottle and a toothbrush in the color of your choice!

[Guest ABOBO]

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[Guest Sylvan Grenier]

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Ok This Is The Sex Bunny

If You Receive This Bunny

That Means Your Fuckin Sexy

If You Get This Back

That Means Your Even Sexier

Pass This Bunny On To 10

Of Your Friends, If You Fail

You Will Be Cursed With

10 Years Of Bad Sex

[Guest InuYasha]

You know, I'm getting dragged to one of these easter deals tomorrow. Easter, is probably the most worthless holiday after the age of 10. Shit, even then Easter wasn't that great, it only seemed great because a few months had passed from the blitz of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Xmas and birthdays (for me) and you missed that feeling.

 

Easter, is really just people's excuse to act like they are morally secure when they make their once a year appearence.

 

Impress Jesus by going to Church in July, instead of tomorrow.

I go to church every Sunday. I even teach in the Children's Church classes.

[Big Ol' Smitty]

HOMIES TILL THE FUCCIN END!!

AND AFTER THAT WE STILL RIDE IN HEAVEN!

THIS IS A TEST TO SEE HOW MANY HOMIES

YOU HAVE ON THE INTERNET!!!

WHEN U GET THIS SEND THIS TO TEN HOMIES

INCLUDING THE HOMIE THAT SENT U IT

IF THEY ARE A TRUE HOMIE!

 

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[Guest ABOBO]

(''\(o,,o)/'') RAAARARARAAWWWR!

[Guest Arnold_OldSchool]

 

1st pic I wanted wouldn't work

[Guest Gunsmoke Bill]

It's Easter, here, now. I'm at home alone, with no food in the goddamn house, trying to work out how to make crumpets so that I can eat some lunch. I just opened a bag of them out of the freezer. Do you microwave them? They're all stuck together and shit. Actually, I got one of them off, but the rest were too solid, so I just put them on a plate and microwaved them. I don't know what I'm doing.

[Guest Arnold_OldSchool]

It's Easter, here, now. I'm at home alone, with no food in the goddamn house, trying to work out how to make crumpets so that I can eat some lunch. I just opened a bag of them out of the freezer. Do you microwave them? They're all stuck together and shit. Actually, I got one of them off, but the rest were too solid, so I just put them on a plate and microwaved them. I don't know what I'm doing.

 

This post makes me sexually excited.

 

 

Shit... Art Bell is starting

[Guest ABOBO]

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[Guest Gunsmoke Bill]

I microwaved them. Put them in for three, which I thought could be pushing it a bit, if they're anything like frozen bread. Spread jam on them, too, which was awkward, and they're satisfying, in a solidly filling sort of way. Happy Easter.

[Guest InuYasha]

Is that Link? Cause last time I checked, Link didn't have tits.

[Guest Gunsmoke Bill]

Don't even say anything about how inept I'd be in a deserted situation like someone else did just now upon hearing about this. I'd kick ass stranded in the wilderness. I'd be in my raw prime. Fuck this domesticated shit.

[FroGG_NeaL]

I had a dream like that one time.

 

 

 

 

When I woke up, I had a raging woody.

[Corey_Lazarus]

That's pretty darn rootin-tootin funny.

[tommytomlin]

I microwaved them. Put them in for three, which I thought could be pushing it a bit, if they're anything like frozen bread. Spread jam on them, too, which was awkward, and they're satisfying, in a solidly filling sort of way. Happy Easter.

 

 

You cook crumpets under a grill until they turn golden brown, then you put on pantloads of butter and honey.

 

 

Then you rub them against your chest and scream.

[Ravenbomb]

EDIT: nope, didn't work

[FroGG_NeaL]

 

 

You cook crumpets under a grill until they turn golden brown, then you put on pantloads of butter and honey.

 

 

Then you rub them against your chest and scream.

 

 

 

HAWT