Darthtiki Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 JACKSON VOICES GOD (Contact Music 7/16/06) Movie superstar SAMUEL L JACKSON will voice God in a new audio version of the Bible. The taped recording of the New Testament will feature many famous other black actors and musicians. Jackson was given the lead role because producers felt his deep, authorative voice was perfect for the role of God. A source tells British newspaper The Daily Telegraph, "Samuel's just finished recording a CD set of the New Testament. The recording is due to be released in September (06), with a box set of the Old Testament to follow next year (07). "Scores of other black actors, musicians and athletes will also figure, but Samuel was deemed to be the perfect person to play God." I wanna hear the 10 commandments done in classic Sam fashion
Mr. S£im Citrus Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 I know what my stepmom is getting for Christmas...
2GOLD Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 New Testament? Forget that man, if Samuel L is going to be voicing God then it better be Old Testament God. Now THAT is the role Samuel L is made for.
Mr. S£im Citrus Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 He's doing the Old Testament, too, right?
Guest Felonies! Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 So it goes without saying that Isaac Hayes will be playing Black Moses, right?
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 Can you imagine the outtakes? Thou shalt covet thy neighbor's bitch! Thou shalt not kill a motherfucker!
Slayer Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 So it goes without saying that Isaac Hayes will be playing Black Moses, right? Ancient and religimous Solemn and prestigidous
Black Lushus Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 well, unless the bible has started mentioning aliens, I doubt we'll see Isaac. James Earl Jones is who I could hear playing God.
ZGangsta Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 So it goes without saying that Isaac Hayes will be playing Black Moses, right? Well I think the Church of Scientology might frown upon that.
Black Lushus Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 they need to get Keith David in on that somewhere.
Karnage Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 "Yes they deserve to die, and I hope they burn in hell!"
Guest netslob Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 "HEBREW, motherfucker, do you speak it !?!"
Open the Muggy Gate Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 GET THESE MOTHERFUCKING LOCUSTS OUT OF MY MOTHERFUCKING LAND!
The Amazing Rando Posted July 17, 2006 Report Posted July 17, 2006 Jesus: And you know what they call Christianity in Rome? God: They don't call it Christianity? Jesus: Nah, they got guilt. They wouldn't know what the fuck Christianity is God: Then what do they call it? Jesus: They call it Catholicism. God: Catholicism. What do they call Judaism? Jesus: Well, Judaism is Judiasm, but they call it Heresy. God: Heresy? Ha Ha Ha Ha. Well what do they call Islam? Jesus: I don't know. I didn't go into Afghanistan.
Man Who Sold The World Posted July 18, 2006 Report Posted July 18, 2006 "And I will strike down upon thee with GREAT VENGEANCE and FURIOUS ANGER, those who attempt to poison my brothers." "AND YOU KNOW WILL I AM THE LORD... when I lay my vengeance upon thee."
Guest Felonies! Posted July 18, 2006 Report Posted July 18, 2006 So it goes without saying that Isaac Hayes will be playing Black Moses, right? Well I think the Church of Scientology might frown upon that. Ugh. Never mind.
Guest Agent of Oblivion Posted July 18, 2006 Report Posted July 18, 2006 I might get this based on the fact that it's going to be a goldmine for samples.
2GOLD Posted July 18, 2006 Report Posted July 18, 2006 they need to get Keith David in on that somewhere. As long as he can slide in a plug for the motherfucking Navy. I gotta remember him next year as a suggestion for Horrorfind in Maryland, that guy is awesome. And his voiceover work is excellent.
Black Lushus Posted July 18, 2006 Report Posted July 18, 2006 yeah, Keith David is one of those character actors that makes you go "hey, HE'S in this movie too? right on..." everytime.
The Amazing Rando Posted July 19, 2006 Report Posted July 19, 2006 Rando's my new hero for that gag. Jesus: You want some pork? God: No man, I don't eat pork. Jesus: What are you, Jewish? God: We should have commandments for this kind of deal. Jesus: How many up there? God: Oh, like eight or nine. Jesus: That counting adultery? God: Not sure. Jesus: So we could have ten commandments up there? God: It's possible. Jesus: We should have some fucking commandents.
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