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The McKenzie Group.


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Guest Princess Leena
Posted

The McLaughlin Group doesn't get 10 million hits a month! Or has neato elevator music.

Guest Felonies!
Posted
The McLaughlin Group doesn't get 10 million hits a month!

WRONG

Posted

When I was a kid, I thought it was hilarious whenever McLaughlin said "bye-bye."

Guest Vitamin X
Posted

Good to see Felonies picked up on this right away. As soon as I saw that, I thought there had to be a CS thread on it.

Guest Felonies!
Posted

Q. What kinds of services does The McKenzie Group provide?

 

A. The McKenzie Group specializes in strategic planning and information-technology solutions for families and small businesses, with an emphasis on multi-tasking and networking. We also run a message board called The Chocolate Socket.

Guest Princess Leena
Posted

At least it's not as bad as Popick putting "Owner of TSM" in his resume.

Guest Felonies!
Posted

Employer: Now it says here, owner of TSM. Can you clarify what TSM is?

Popick: It is a message board about wrestling and stuff.

Employer: What were your responsibilities with this message board?

Popick: Role-playing and crying, sir.

Guest Felonies!
Posted

This job would've been better if nobody applied for it.

Posted

Hey Mike, the "History" section of your website is absolutely horrible. I'm not saying that to flame, I'm saying it because there is at least one error in every sentence. If I was a business owner and I saw that, I would be extremely reluctant to hire your consulting firm.

Posted
At least it's not as bad as Popick putting "Owner of TSM" in his resume.

 

Didn't he put being a member of the Smarks Wrestling federation on his resume? I seem to remember it included some e-fed reference.

Posted

OK Mike, I'm going to try to help you out here:

 

tsmqc0.png

 

1) Avoid using terms like "junky", it looks unprofessional.

2) No need to include the numerical representation of the word in parentheses, and in cases where you would the number come AFTER the word.

3) The use of the word "tithing" comes across as gratuitous use of an uncommon word so as to make yourself appear smart than others.

4) Avoid all caps and exclamation points, it comes across as the written equivalent of shouting.

5) Avoid exclamation points - see above.

6) Inappropriate comma placement.

7) Awkward and ungrammatical sentence fragment.

8) Incomplete sentence.

9) Avoid using ellipses.

10) Why is "God" in quotes?

11) Typographical error.

12) Capitalize the "t".

Guest Felonies!
Posted

What's gratuitous about using the word "tithing" once to denote giving ten percent of your earnings to your church? I don't think it's that uncommon or difficult of a word. The rest of that stuff, yeah.

Guest Princess Leena
Posted

Tithe isn't some obscure word, so I think that's fine.

 

The point of the "history" section seems to be that Michael wants to show his personal side. That he's not just a bot. Therefore, the exclamations and unprofessional words are acceptable.

 

The spelling is the main problem, though. Especially considering Michael is knowledgeable with computers, he should know how to spell check. It shows laziness and lack of care for his work.

Posted

I think it just stands out in the midst of all the simple language used in the rest of the writing. I don't know. 'Round here we don't say "tithing" very much. Besides which, the phrase "tithing 10%" is redundant because the word "tithing" denotes the giving of ten percent to a church.

 

Oh and Mike, I forgot to mention the last sentence of the last paragraph. It uses a quote but fails to mention who the quote came from (I would assume it comes from you but since we're supposed to be assuming that someone other than you is writing this, you need to denote these things). Also, when you use a quote within a quote, i.e. your use of "the next level", you should use single quotes. "....take the existing company to the 'next level'". Also, there's no real need to put "next level" in quotes, unless you were making finger-quotes when you said it and feel that excluding them from the full quote would be dishonest.

 

Also, in your "Projects" section, there is no need to place a hyphen between "pop" and "culture". Furthermore, the site's design is inconsistent (a bewildered college girl might be moved to call it "random") in that the history section features very clunky text scrolling while the "Refernces" section features text which scrolls smoothly (and, inexplicably, slightly to the upper right).

Guest Felonies!
Posted
Besides which, the phrase "tithing 10%" is redundant because the word "tithing" denotes the giving of ten percent to a church.

Didn't catch that. Good find. Speaking of, isn't "forward progress" a redundancy? Isn't all progress inherently of a forward nature?

 

Also, there's no real need to put "next level" in quotes, unless you were making finger-quotes when you said it and feel that excluding them from the full quote would be dishonest.

next level would be fine on its own, but he could tack a "next level, so to speak" in there if he wanted. I wouldn't.

 

Furthermore, the site's design is inconsistent (a bewildered college girl might be moved to call it "random")

REFERNCES

Posted
Merrick: Thanks also to the aforementioned merchants, the vaccine will be distributed gratis.

 

Al: Free gratis.

 

Merrick: Free gratis is a redundancy.

 

EB: Does that mean, repeats itself?

 

Al: Then leave gratis out.

Posted

Besides which, the phrase "tithing 10%" is redundant because the word "tithing" denotes the giving of ten percent to a church.

Didn't catch that. Good find. Speaking of, isn't "forward progress" a redundancy? Isn't all progress inherently of a forward nature?

Don't tell a Republican that.

Posted

It's been a week, Mike. None of my suggested changes have been made.

 

That jazzy MIDI file that plays in the background has to go. Nothing wrong with having sound in the background of the page, but not a MIDI, dude.

Guest Felonies!
Posted

Yeah, he should use a song off Kraftwerk's The Man-Machine.

Posted

Besides which, the phrase "tithing 10%" is redundant because the word "tithing" denotes the giving of ten percent to a church.

Didn't catch that. Good find. Speaking of, isn't "forward progress" a redundancy? Isn't all progress inherently of a forward nature?

Don't tell a Republican that.

 

They're still hiding.

Guest Princess Leena
Posted

REFERNCES is still there. We're taking our business seriously!

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