PROMO - Who Needs Alan Clark?

[The Amazing Rando 0]

New Orleans, early morning. Baton Rouge is almost an hour in the opposite direction, but a lone black rental car’s headlights beaming out over the bay waters and into the distance has the full attention of one man’s eyes. Eyes shroud behind locks of hair askew from the night wind.

 

On most other days, in most other scenarios, wiping the blood from this lonely man’s face would show the world the trademark smirk of Alan Clark, self-proclaimed Happiest Guy On Earth. But the blood is there for a reason, a visual cue to any unlucky onlooker that the man they see before them is not one of show-tunes and pristine costumes, but one whose million dreams revolve more around his own past and the path he has found himself traveling on than the happiness of those around him. You can not call it multiple personality disorder. You can call it schizophrenia. You can call it any measure of insanity that has a clear cut medical definition. What you can say is that everywhere Alan Clark goes, and everything he does – Bloodshed watches.

 

Alan Clark had told Walter Reynolds that he wanted to be alone, to prepare for his upcoming tag team match. That was eight hours ago. If it had not been for Alan’s constantly ringing cellphone, Walter might have called the police by now.

 

”Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be back to the hotel in the morning. I’ll be careful. Don’t you trust me?”

 

“I have walked a path these past few years, searching for myself. Am I this? Am I that? Am I really whatever I want to be? Not lately. I want the rules to go away. I want the boundaries that have held me in place to shatter underneath my feet. I want to say I’m happy running around the OAOAST, having staplers jammed into my flesh and my body driven through tables and into concrete, and years ago I might have stood on a beach just like this one and told the world that pain was all I would ever need to be happy, but I’m not happy. A world full of pain and self-mutilation is fine some of the time, and a world full of sing-song rhymes, smiles, and costumed characters can be just as fine some more of the time – but where is the balance?”

 

”You can trust me. I haven’t steered you wrong yet, have I?”

 

“Signatures on dotted lines have thrown the balance to the wayside, but one day a week – one night a week – of what those on OAOAST TV have called “insanity” and “uncalled for”, as though we simply showed up one day on a whim and decided to wreck everything they had worked so hard for. No, we were invited. We were asked to come in as a favor, and even though he knew exactly what he was getting in to, he still looked at us as monsters when he saw what we were capable of.”

 

”You aren’t going to get fired, okay? If I’m not back in my room by 10, then you can call me, otherwise, just get some sleep. Alright? Good.”

 

“It was said once before, outside of a tiny apartment building in Las Vegas, that the SWF did not need Alan Clark. And before you I stand and say that truer words might have never been spoken. The SWF may indeed not need Alan Clark – but I do. Bloodshed needs Alan Clark. It may come as no surprise that where one goes, the other follows, but it seems to be that the closer one is to the other, the more stable the reaction. The farther apart we go, the louder the eventual explosion. When Alan Clark signed his name for the SWF and for the Walt Disney Company, it was not because he was needed, it was because he knew that he needed to stay close to me. But then I disappeared, and ended up in the OAOAST. The balance shifted, and people almost got seriously hurt. It was only after a long hiatus and even more mind-numbing paperwork that the balance has been restored…but the problem with it all is –

 

…I don’t want balance.

 

The SWF needs it.

The Walt Disney Company needs it.

Alan Clark needs it.

 

 

…but I don’t.

 

Where Alan might say that it is a small world after all, I say ‘good’, the sooner you will run into me, and less time that you will all have to wait…and…bleed.”

 

 

Riiiiiiing…

 

…riiiiiiiing…

 

…riiiiiiiiing.

 

“What?”

 

”You can trust me. I haven’t steered you wrong yet, have I?”

 

 

Click.

[Toxxic 0]

The SWF needs Alan Clark, because we need everyone.

 

I could find Alan Clark interesting, if you dropped the Disney bullshit. I could find Bloodshed interesting, if you dropped the pseudo-psychotic bullshit. What I DON'T find interesting is how one 'side' of the character is happy and has one sort of contract, and the other 'side' is mean and has another contract, and one can't do this but one can, and so on and so on, and how they interact and watch each other, and that sort of shit. Depth of character is not built by having two different sides to it, it's built by actually having some sort of realistic basis and having a character people can empathise with. Sure, Janus had two vastly different characters in the same body... but each one of them was a self-reliant entity with a distinct personality, not a pair of cartoony, gimmicky jokes.

 

Please, write matches. We need match writers. Please, get involved in angles. We need angles. Please, contribute and take part in the fed, and get others to join if you can. We need that. Please don't write complicated legal/mental illness promos to explain multitudes about your character when your character has been in-again/out-again and is basically working an early 90s WWF-style cartoon gimmick and some cheap knockoff of some vaguely 'Attitude' era gimmick at the same time, and basically doesn't HAVE multitudes about him to be explained.

 

We now return you to your regular programming.

Edited December 7, 2006 by MikeofEvil

[Sly 0]

[muzz 0]

At least he wrote something you prick.

 

Who the fuck are you to have a go at him for trying to have fun with his character?

[Toxxic 0]

I'm expressing an opinion. He doesn't have to listen to it. However, it's worth noting that me posting my criticism has led to two other people responding to his promo (or at least, doing a shocked emoticon in Sly's case), which is more than was here before, and is more than is currently gracing his other promo lurking about further down the board.

[muzz 0]

Figures you'd want praise for it. You've done nothing. You gave scathing criticism to Rando because you figure he's an easy target.

 

We now return you to your regular programming, kekeke.

[Toxxic 0]

So, prove me wrong. Tell me what YOU like about Rando's promo, or his other promo, or his character. What's good? What do you think can be improved? Do you think I'm unjustified in what I'm saying, or just the manner in which I said it, or the fact that it's me who has said it, who you think has done nothing and therefore shouldn't be one to talk?

 

For that matter, what do or don't you like about MY character? Do my matches always read the same? Do I not put my opponents over enough? What is or is not good about my promos? I mean for God's sake, I've been back with Toxxic since about May and World Champion since June or July or something, and I've pretty much been doing my own thing without a great deal of input or criticism from anyone. I tried to introduce something new by setting up the Elimination Chamber, but that wasn't a massive success. I'm running a feud with Mak, but it's not exactly massive profile. What should I be doing, in your view, to make things more interesting and contribute more to the fed? I've put some promos up and one or two people have made vaguely interested noises, but if no-one tells me what they don't like about it I'll assume everyone either thinks they're fine or just can't be bothered to read them in the first place, so won't change the way I do it.

 

In terms of what you said about Rando just having fun with his character, that's fair enough, but it's not very fun for me to read because it doesn't interest me. Are we all just writing for ourselves, or are we trying to interest other people and create some sort of community where we exchange feedback, work out what other people appreciate and don't appreciate, take ideas and inspiration from others and all enjoy ourselves? Now, it might be that I'm a completely unreasonable arsehole for the take I've got on Rando and everyone else thinks it's a great character and a compelling storyline... but no-one, NO-ONE has said so. I've now said what I think. I leave it up to everyone else to contribute if they see fit, as and how they want to.

[muzz 0]

I think you're wrong, I like what Rando does, I don't care what you do.

[JHawk 0]

While I'm not a fan of the Disney aspect of it (mostly because I don't like writing for the character if I have a match for it), I happen to like the aspect that the two sides are total opposites, as it could lead to some very interesting character development down the line if Rando so chooses.

[Bruce Blank 0]

In terms of what you said about Rando just having fun with his character, that's fair enough, but it's not very fun for me to read because it doesn't interest me.

So he should change his character from what he likes, what he wants to write it like to suit what other people like? shouldn't the first rule of this be: Like what you write?

 

I mean if someone is forced to write a different style than the one they really like it'd probably diminish the desire to write anything at all - it'd be like putting WC in a series of odd stipulation matches or Blank in a long line of straight "normal matches"

 

After all if someone is forced to write a certain way then we'd have 10 "Straight Edge" guys running around dropping people on their heads... and not just 2

[Toxxic 0]

Not exactly what I meant. We're all going to have different tastes, and I'm now expressing mine - namely that this extreme version of Clark/Bloodshed doesn't interest me. The Alan Clark from Martial Law made a lot more sense. What I'm getting at is feedback - if EVERYONE doesn't like something you do, odds are no-one's going to be that interested in working with you or doing angles and such, so you'll always be writing for yourself rather than doing interesting things with others, and your participation might well dry up, but if no-one tells you what they don't like you won't know what to change, assuming that you want to.

 

We've now established that Hawke DOES like what Rando does, even if he finds the Disney aspect hard to put into a match. We now also know that Muzz likes what Rando does, even if he's not big into specifics, although that's potentially less relevant in terms of fed activity at the moment because Muzz isn't active (unfortunately).

 

Again, I'll throw something out here to everyone rather than just Muzz this time - what am I doing wrong with Toxxic? Cos people seem to assume that if you're winning all the time then you're doing everything right but that's simply not (always) the case. While ELM's last title run was awe-inspiring in its dominance, I know at least one person who felt he HHH'd challengers a bit too much. Do I do the same? Cos no-one tells me bugger all except 'congratulations'.

[JHawk 0]

Mike, if you HHH'd me a couple of weeks ago, then I want a rematch so I can squash your sorry ass! Actually, I posted my match for that and still have no idea why it lost, which brings us back to the whole feedback thing in the first place.

[Ace309 0]

Sometimes there's just not much to be said. I felt like Mike just outwrote you on that one.

[JHawk 0]

Fair 'nuff.