So once again, you are nominated for an Academy Award, okay?

[Guest Random Question Asker]

You are an actor/actress (although I don't think there are too many females here) and you are the star of an acclaimed (by critics and fans) film. There is a lot of talk that you will be receiving another Oscar nomination this year.

 

So the big day comes and they announce the nominees:

 

 

They announce you as one of the nominees but this year you're more cautious because last year you were the favorite to win, but you ended up losing the awarde last year and since then you've been a real bitter bastard over the situation.

 

So once again, you fly down to Hollywood for the Academy Awards. Once again, the press take pictures of you for 45 minutes, you walk in and take your seat as the show begins. You laugh at the hosts jokes even though half of them aren't funny at all. You sit through pointless awards. Finally two hours, and three minutes into the event, you're category is next.

 

You're presenter this year is the winner 2006 Academy Award for Best Actress:

 

 

Reese Witherspoon.

 

She announces the nominees.

 

One by one the clips are shown for all of the nominees including your nomination. She then takes the envelope and slowly opens it and she says "And the winner is..." She looks down at it and smiles and then looks back up.

 

And the winner...the winner is...

 

 

 

 

 

 

YOU!

 

YOU HAVE WON THE ACADEMY AWARD!

 

Everyone starts clapping, and waiting for you to take the stage. Suddenly, it becomes apparent that you're not there. Everyone from the audience to Reese begins talking and looking around in confusion as the Oscar producers try to stall time so you can come up and make your great big speech. Where are you? Well, you see, you had some spicy food before going to the awards ceremony and the food got into your system and started messing around with your colon and upset your stomach. So you went to the bathroom.

 

 

That's right, while you were on the shitter, you won an academy award. While massive amounts of diarrhea are coming out of your anus, some guy busts into the bathroom and screams "YOU JUST FUCKING WON THE ACADEMY AWARD! COME ON YOU STUPID FUCKSTICK!"

 

You know in that second that you will always be the man who won the Oscar while he was on the shitter. You're proudest moment as an actor/actress was spent on the shitter. You have embarrassed yourself infront of a nationwide audience, your peers and fellow actors. You will be the ass of jokes for years and years to come and your reputation falls.

 

As you sit there on the cold toilet, what do you do? What is going through your mind?

[Ravenbomb 0]

I'll remember the person who won a Golden Globe while she was on the loo, and I'll know that I'll be alright. Especially since I'll still have my writing Oscar to fall back on

[Spaceman Spiff 0]

This is, like, the worst gimmick on this board.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Man, this is some pathetic dedication and work.

[Vern Gagne 0]

That wasn't a very random question.

[Ravenbomb 0]

"What if your hair were suddenly purple?" That's a random question. This one is....topical...

[razazteca 0]

All I got in my head was I should of worn depends......but wait theres more.....as I sit there taking a shit all I can think of was WHOSE THE BABYS DADDY!?!?!.....and how would I look bald....Scotland had a black king WTF!

[Failed Bridge 0]

This is, like, the worst gimmick on this board.

....

[Darthtiki 0]

Those Oscar statues could be used as a great blunt force instrument by how much they weigh, especially on this gimmick.

[Black Lushus 0]

I was at a leadership conference one time with others from my work as well as other companies, probably over 200 people in the room, and I was announced as a raffle winner while I was in the john...I came into the room and everyone looked at me and started clapping. Yeah I was sorta embarassed.

[Craig Th 0]

Yeah...

 

Bye random.