My grandparents are suing McDonald's...

[Fuzzy Dunlop 0]

McDonalds is an evil uncaring global corporation, obesifying millions of people around the world every year all in the name of the almighty dollar. Your grandfather is a hero. Have him go after Wal-Mart next, i'm sure their parking lots are icy as well.

 

Actually, they should! Two or three years ago, my grandmother was shopping at Wal-Mart, and my grandfather was waiting outside in the car. She had a full grocery cart full of stuff, and she forgot there was some lipstick or something that didn't get scanned. The thing beeped when she tried to leave, and they grabbed her and pulled her into some back office or something and made her wait like three hours without getting a phone call or anything. Then they made her sign something saying she'd never come back. Sure, no harm was done, but think of the humiliation!

[Guest Vitamin X]

Emotional damages. Have her see a psychotherapist and that can be used as supporting evidence of pain and suffering.

 

Litigiously scandalous!

[Nighthawk 0]

That's a fucking lie. I've actually stolen things from them and they didn't go through all that. They just let old people come and go as they please, alarm or no.

[Jericho2000Mark 0]

Pshaw. My grandparents are nudists, and my grandma walks around nude with one tit, and gave me Bumfights dvds and cigarettes for Christmas. My grandfather was a crooked psychiatrist who charged the state for "therapy" for state employees, which actually consisted of orgies. He was run out of town and now makes his living as a hypnotist.

 

On the other side, my grandfather was a mailman who fucked every wife on his route, until he eventually got one pregnant, and got into a gunfight on the front porch with her husband. My grandmother on that side was pretty normal... she... died of Lou Gehrig's disease... but that isn't cool at all.

 

Still, I think I have a case for coolest grandparents.

 

I've been reading some of your posts and either you have a life worthy of a tell-all book or you're a really creative writer.

 

My Grandfather on my mother's side survived the Armenian Genocide (he lost three brothers), had 18 children (16 with my grandmother), with his last child coming at age 71 and he died at age 95.

 

My other grandfather fought in WWII and died young. I'm not sure if he died in the War though.

[Maztinho 0]

Pshaw. My grandparents are nudists, and my grandma walks around nude with one tit, and gave me Bumfights dvds and cigarettes for Christmas. My grandfather was a crooked psychiatrist who charged the state for "therapy" for state employees, which actually consisted of orgies. He was run out of town and now makes his living as a hypnotist.

 

On the other side, my grandfather was a mailman who fucked every wife on his route, until he eventually got one pregnant, and got into a gunfight on the front porch with her husband. My grandmother on that side was pretty normal... she... died of Lou Gehrig's disease... but that isn't cool at all.

 

Still, I think I have a case for coolest grandparents.

 

I've been reading some of your posts and either you have a life worthy of a tell-all book or you're a really creative writer.

 

My Grandfather on my mother's side survived the Armenian Genocide (he lost three brothers), had 18 children (16 with my grandmother), with his last child coming at age 71 and he died at age 95.

 

My other grandfather fought in WWII and died young. I'm not sure if he died in the War though.

 

Are you besmirching the Poster of the Year?

 

ARE YOU?!?!?!?!

[Nighthawk 0]

I've been reading some of your posts and either you have a life worthy of a tell-all book or you're a really creative writer.

 

TSM poster The Amazing Rando actually has written a book about me. It's fictional and only based on me, and the second half of it got really unrealistic. I'm not sure what I think of the direction he took it in. But he has 25 pages or so left to finish, so I'll see where it ends up.

[chuck415 0]

That's a fucking lie. I've actually stolen things from them and they didn't go through all that. They just let old people come and go as they please, alarm or no.

I think it's in their policy not to even stop anyone over age 65. Seriously.

[Guest Vitamin X]

I've been reading some of your posts and either you have a life worthy of a tell-all book or you're a really creative writer.

 

TSM poster The Amazing Rando actually has written a book about me. It's fictional and only based on me, and the second half of it got really unrealistic. I'm not sure what I think of the direction he took it in. But he has 25 pages or so left to finish, so I'll see where it ends up.

Didn't he say he couldn't finish it? If not, you should definitely step in and finish it off.

[RavishingRickRudo 0]

Or just end it abruptly. Like the Sopranos.

 

"He walked outside and forgot to close the door behind him, as something in the sky was distrac"

 

I could see the lawyer wanting to sue to see if McDonalds would settle out of court; if that is something McDonalds often does (as they would avoid setting precedent and media attention). Mitigating factors would be if the ice had been there for a while and nothing was done about it. There is usually a reasonable time allowance given to businesses to de-ice their lots and walks, and negligence would be hard to prove if it had just started to freeze. Time of day is important as well. Handicap lots, though, are generally considered top priority to maintain, so they could actually have a case. Quite frankly, I think it's ridiculous and too many people look for easy money out of their own stupidity. Old people are especially retarded and, really, shouldn't even be allowed in weather that is too hot or too cold. And forget about driving!

[Nighthawk 0]

I've been reading some of your posts and either you have a life worthy of a tell-all book or you're a really creative writer.

 

TSM poster The Amazing Rando actually has written a book about me. It's fictional and only based on me, and the second half of it got really unrealistic. I'm not sure what I think of the direction he took it in. But he has 25 pages or so left to finish, so I'll see where it ends up.

Didn't he say he couldn't finish it? If not, you should definitely step in and finish it off.

 

No, I just assumed he wasn't going to because I didn't hear from him in a long time, but he did get back to me. It's already at 100,000 words, and the part he left off at works as an ending. But he says a little more is coming.

 

The ending mid-sentence idea I thought would have been cool in American Psycho. But I don't have a bad word to say about that book.

[BX 0]

Rando is always writing shit. He'll IM me out of the blue every nine months to show me a transcript of something he's done.

 

I dunno why.

[Nighthawk 0]

He usually doesn't finish what he starts either. So I'm glad he did this time!