AndrewTS 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2008 Tons of info on the game, story, screenshots, download links, etc. The Great B-Ball Purge of 2041, a day so painful to some that it is referred to only as the "B-Ballnacht". Thousands upon thousands of the world's greatest ballers were massacred in a swath of violence and sports bigotry as the game was outlawed worldwide. The reason: the Chaos Dunk, a jam so powerful its mere existence threatens the balance of chaos and order. Among the few ballers and fans that survived the basketball genocide was Charles Barkley, the man capable of performing the "Verboten Jam"... Flash forward 12 years to the post-cyberpocalyptic ruins of Neo New York, 2053. A Chaos Dunk rocks the island of Manhattan, killing 15 million. When the finger is put on the aging Charles Barkley, he must evade the capture of the B-Ball Removal Department, led by former friend and baller Michael Jordan, and disappear into the dangerous underground of the post-cyberpocalypse to clear his name and find out the mysterious truth behind the Chaos Dunk. Joined by allies along the way, including his son Hoopz, Barkley must face the dangers of a life he thought he gave up a long time ago and discover the secrets behind the terrorist organization B.L.O.O.D.M.O.S.E.S. The game is a turn-based RPG with Barkley as your extremely emo protagonist, many genre conventions are mocked, and much fun is had by all (except those who are dead). I'm up to the point where you stumble upon a village of surgically-altered furries, who live together to take refuge from the beatings outsiders would give them. They also write shitty poetry for each other, and you get to help! Worth every penny, I assure you. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Niggardly King 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2008 what the fuck space jam remix sold me though Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Matt Young 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2008 I downloaded it a few weeks ago but hadn't gotten around to playing it. Now, with a broken 360, it's the perfect time! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
luke-o 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2008 Aww, and heres me thinking we were going to have a thread talking about the awesomeness of Barkley: Shup Up and Jam on the Mega Drive. I'd give it a go but I hate paying for things. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fazzle 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2008 Aww, and heres me thinking we were going to have a thread talking about the awesomeness of Barkley: Shup Up and Jam on the Mega Drive. I'd give it a go but I hate paying for things. It's uh....free. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rendclaw 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2008 Considering how godawful that premise sounds, it would have to be. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Matt Young 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2008 And of course, it won't run on my fucking 2 year old computer. Ridiculous. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewTS 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2008 And of course, it won't run on my fucking 2 year old computer. Ridiculous. Mine's 7 years old... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
luke-o 0 Report post Posted February 9, 2008 It's uh....free. every penny, I assure you. That suggested to me that I had to pay. But perhaps I misread it (due to not checking the spoiler) and he was talking about an item in the game. Either way, my mistake. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrVenkman PhD 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2008 Understandable, most links to unlicensed game downloads people post on the internet require payment. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anya 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2008 This is seriously great satire on JRPGs. Everyone should play it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewTS 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2008 Yeah, the "worth every penny" was a joke. It's well worth the free download, IOW. -It's turn-based but you use different commands to actually fight. -There's no level-grinding necessary, you get tons of money too for items. -There's a secret bonus dungeon that you can only get by being as big of a dick as possible. -It has some of those god awful QTE, which is like a necessity for games now. -Before you can save there's a different rant at each save point you can view that seems plucked from a random message board. Like how Mitsuda is the greatest composer ever (and naturally, better than any Western composer ever, and not just video game music!), or how Americans are stupid for liking Halo and Madden. Part of the joke is that this is supposed to be made in Japan. I cleared Liberty Island most recently. Guest-starring a prominent figure in many a crappy hack/homebrew game! The Blue Dragon boss theme, Eternity, is in it. If you check the Music folder, it's credited to "jesus christ the guy from deep purple sang this". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Matt Young 0 Report post Posted February 10, 2008 And of course, it won't run on my fucking 2 year old computer. Ridiculous. Mine's 7 years old... I don't know why it won't work for me. Something about the graphics card... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Smues Report post Posted February 10, 2008 Here lies Patrick Ewing: Born a slave, died a starting center. Awesome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewTS 0 Report post Posted February 11, 2008 "I think ghosts are like dogs, and just do things arbitrarily." I think Sir Charles is the spry-est, most well-preserved 78 year old man I could ever imagine. I don't know why it won't work for me. Something about the graphics card... There's a ReadMe that describes how to/where to report problems. I'd try that and downloading from a different mirror. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Smues Report post Posted February 11, 2008 I reached the hidden furry village. So wrong, so very wrong. Cyborg Vince Carter = awesome though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Smues Report post Posted February 12, 2008 FUCKING DIABETES CAVE. I keep dying from sugar overdose, although the 'death' screen is hilarious. Whoever made this game is a genius, and has WAY too much time on his hands. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gary Floyd 0 Report post Posted February 12, 2008 Classes were canceled today due to the weather, so I downloaded this. This is tons of fun, and possibly the funniest game I've ever played. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Smues Report post Posted February 12, 2008 Just beat it. Absolutely hilarious game. Andrew, what exactly do you have to do to unlock the secret dungeon? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AndrewTS 0 Report post Posted February 13, 2008 The short answer is "be a complete dick to everyone," but specifically (from the gamefaqs walkthrough): Neo NYC: refuse money to kid outside church Proto Neo NYC: refuse money to the guy outside Allard's office. Proto Neo NYC: refuse to apologize to Wildman (house next to Juwanna Mann's). Liberty Island: don't give Poleshaft to Octavius Steambrast. B-Ball Dimension: refuse to give money to Dick Vitale. I missed it my first game so I can't tell you for sure if that's all, though. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
