Desert Island Draft: Movie Edition

[godthedog 0]

 

The Awful Truth

 

i'm not generally a fan of the screwball comedy genre--a lot of times they feel excessively choreographed or they try too hard--but this is totally effortless anarchy. not much of a plot to care about, as it's mostly just a string of comic set pieces for cary grant & irene dunne to make each other look ridiculous, and it's not a coincidence that this was directed by leo mccarey (of "duck soup" fame). you get the sense at any minute that the whole movie will fall apart and stop making any sense, but it never quite happens. cary grant is amazing. i didn't know it was possible for someone to make me laugh so hard just by using his eyebrows.

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

 

Mr. Arkadin

 

My list is currently sorely lacking in Orson Welles. Time to rectify that. This is basically Citizen Kane through the looking glass. Where that was an extravagant, stately look at American ambition this is a grotesque, seedy tale of European corruption and paranoia filmed on a shoe-string budget and hacked to pieces by the studio upon it's original release. It's totally dizzying and baffling and constantly feels like it's on the verge of just completely breaking apart into an incomprehensible mess. What saves it is the absolute, unshakable sense of purpose that Welles brought to every film he made. It's like his artistic vision was just too strong to ever be fully constrained by bullshit externalities (budget constraints, studio meddling) that would bring most filmmakers to their knees.

[The Mandarin 0]

We should try to finish this. I hope nobody minds if I just go ahead now:

 

Pickpocket

 

This is one of the Film 101 movies that stuck with me the most. A solid story expertly told.

[Darthtiki 0]

Another State of Mind - Dir. Adam Small, Peter Stuart 1984

 

Great film chronicling Social Distortion and Youth Brigade's North American tour in an old school bus as well as the punk scene in the early 80's

[godthedog 0]

as this pathetically limps to the finish, enough time has probably elapsed that i can legally go, and even if not i doubt anybody will pick it. so for my last pick, i take

 

 

Pickup on South Street

 

if you love to see women get beaten up and shot, this is the movie for you. i was lacking some noir on my list, and this one is pulpy and delicious. richard widmark makes a great antihero. tons of goofy hard-boiled fun, but thelma ritter gives it an emotional center really pushes it into greatness. hers is one of my favorite characters in any movie.

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

I guess I'll just make my last pick now too

 

 

Week End

 

If/when I start missing civilization I'll just watch this. Then I'll immolate myself on a pile of palm fronds.

[The Mandarin 0]

Eyes Wide Shut

 

I really like this film. Everything comes across as wonderfully artificial and strange. There's a really interesting essay on the film here

[CanadianChris 0]

Yeah, I'll just make my last pick as well:

 

 

Rounders (Dahl, 1998)

 

Should have been a much better movie with this cast, but this film never fails to get me in the mood to go gambling.

[Jebus 0]

Well, since everyone's doing it and I cave into peer pressure easily...

 

I officially decree that since the last round has gone on forever while I was away...

 

EVERYONE CAN MAKE THE REST OF THEIR PICKS NOW!!!

[Jebus 0]

For my last pick, I'm gonna finish off the trilogy:

 

 

Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring

[Jebus 0]

On behalf of Jingus:

 

 

Titanic

 

Yeah. I said it. Suck my cock. This movie ruled. And this isn't some prepubescent girl saying this, it's a guy who's filled up the rest of his list with indy, foreign, and horror flicks so you know it's not just because I've only seen five other movies in my whole life. The nearly apocalyptic feel of the final hour, with society as we know it completely breaking down in the face of the glaring truth that a million tons of steel and a frozen ocean just don't give a shit about you, no matter if you're rich and attractive or poor and ugly, you're all gonna die anyway. Plus, Kate Winslet's tits are what I'd count as tangible proof of a kind and loving God.

[Jingus 0]

Yeah, what he said about what I said.

[Craig Th 0]

 

Pineapple Express

 

I know this movie doesn't come out till tomorrow, but I know I am going to love it.

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

I can't believe I had Hoop Dreams stolen from me by ^^this^^ asshole. What the fuck.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

I think I have 2...? If not, then I'm calling my next round now, too.

 

Phantasm II - Don Coscarelli (1988)

The movie that got me interested in horror. It doesn't hold up too well now, but hot DAMN is the theme song amazing.

 

Ginger Snaps - John Fawcett (2000)

A cult favorite, and what made me look for modern indie horror. Plus, it has Katherine Isabelle...ohhhhh maaaaan...

[godthedog 0]

Titanic

 

Yeah. I said it. Suck my cock. This movie ruled. And this isn't some prepubescent girl saying this, it's a guy who's filled up the rest of his list with indy, foreign, and horror flicks so you know it's not just because I've only seen five other movies in my whole life. The nearly apocalyptic feel of the final hour, with society as we know it completely breaking down in the face of the glaring truth that a million tons of steel and a frozen ocean just don't give a shit about you, no matter if you're rich and attractive or poor and ugly, you're all gonna die anyway. Plus, Kate Winslet's tits are what I'd count as tangible proof of a kind and loving God.

i just threw up in my mouth a little.

[Jingus 0]

I will not apologize for liking Titanic. In fact, I view the massive backlash against that movie with an almost giggling feeling. You can't find anyone these days who simultaneously considers themself a "serious movie buff" yet admits to liking that movie. But, uh, why not?

 

The standard snob party line on Titanic usually goes something like this: "no other good movies were out, so all the preteen girls went and saw it ten times, and thus a legend was born". That theory has plenty of holes in it. Firstly, sales of tickets to preteen girls alone doesn't even begin to account for its massive, unprecedented dominance of the box office for months on end. Especially since it also made a ton of money overseas, where the Western schedule of movie releases wouldn't have had any effect. It also doesn't account for its pretty serious acceptance from grownups; the vast majority of critics gave it strong positive reviews. And there's also that pesky little detail about it winning eleven Academy Awards. While I certainly agree that undeserving films can often net themselves an Oscar or two (English Patient, Gladiator, Crash, looking at you!), in general winning that many awards is a sign that the film is generally regarded by most people as being pretty damn good.

 

Yes, it was too long. Yes, the romance was a bit trite. Yes, Leonardo DiCaprio really isn't as good an actor as some people would have you believe. Yes, Billy Zane was an awfully strange choice for a villain. Yes, that Celine Dion song sure as hell got overplayed to a mind-numbing extent. But the good things about that movie were plenty good enough to easily outweigh all the bad.

[godthedog 0]

breaking this motherfucker down CE-style:

 

I will not apologize for liking Titanic. In fact, I view the massive backlash against that movie with an almost giggling feeling. You can't find anyone these days who simultaneously considers themself a "serious movie buff" yet admits to liking that movie. But, uh, why not?

 

The standard snob party line on Titanic usually goes something like this: "no other good movies were out, so all the preteen girls went and saw it ten times, and thus a legend was born". That theory has plenty of holes in it. Firstly, sales of tickets to preteen girls alone doesn't even begin to account for its massive, unprecedented dominance of the box office for months on end. Especially since it also made a ton of money overseas, where the Western schedule of movie releases wouldn't have had any effect.

 

i don't know anybody who's given that line, as i don't know anybody who felt the need to explain why it was so successful if it was a bad movie. bad movies make shitloads of money all the time, especially overseas. even 'waterworld' was able to do not-that-bad thanks to its overseas business. the theatrical success of 'pulp fiction' baffles me a lot more than the record-breaking success of 'titanic', because it was one of those spectacle productions with tons of money behind it that's built to get big numbers.

 

the whole marketing/story genius of 'titanic' (which i'm surprised no one has tried to duplicate) was by mixing equal parts 'jurassic park'-style action spectacular and girly melodramatic romance between 2 astonishingly good-looking people. guys wanted to see the boat sink, ladies wanted to see the love story.

 

It also doesn't account for its pretty serious acceptance from grownups; the vast majority of critics gave it strong positive reviews.

 

critical reviews are almost as subject to hype and social factors as audiences. lots of hype and a late-in-the-year release always help.

 

And there's also that pesky little detail about it winning eleven Academy Awards. While I certainly agree that undeserving films can often net themselves an Oscar or two (English Patient, Gladiator, Crash, looking at you!), in general winning that many awards is a sign that the film is generally regarded by most people as being pretty damn good.

the movie which had won the most oscars up to that point was 'ben hur', which is solely considered "great" by people who aren't paying attention because they're thinking of the chariot race. 'ben hur' was a classic example of inflated importance. oscars are not a good gauge for anything, especially if you're going by quantity--'titanic' was only up for so many because it had a lot of bells and whistles attached to it.

 

Yes, it was too long. Yes, the romance was a bit trite. Yes, Leonardo DiCaprio really isn't as good an actor as some people would have you believe. Yes, Billy Zane was an awfully strange choice for a villain. Yes, that Celine Dion song sure as hell got overplayed to a mind-numbing extent. But the good things about that movie were plenty good enough to easily outweigh all the bad.

 

the hole created by the vastness of this understatement is big enough to drive the whole movie through. the love story was supposed to be the durable meat that held the special effects together and enabled the movie to stand the test of time. it failed horribly. the characters are uniformly awful, ripped from bad 19th-century stage melodrama. the dialogue is abysmal. these are things that bother me about a movie.

 

[The Mandarin 0]

I'd like to move forward with this because I think there's still some interesting discussion to be had.

 

Treble has two picks left.

bps21 has two picks left.

Next USC #55 has three picks left.

Jorge Gorgeous has five picks left.

Darthtiki has one pick left.

Mole has one pick left.

Canadian Brandon has two picks left.

 

I think if I were to have selected a comedy for my list, I would have gone with Heathers or Bad Santa. Although if I were given a 21st pick, I'd choose The Elephant Man because of John Hurt's performance.

[Darthtiki 0]

 

Empire Records - Dir. Allan Moyle 1995

 

I watched the hell out of this film when I was a kid.

[Corey_Lazarus 0]

Good pick. It always got me just how hot the chick with the shaved head is, and how basically unattractive Zellwegger is, even though she's supposed to be the sexpot slut of the group. And the poster is odd...no Joe, no Warren, but a dog that barely (if ever) is shown on-screen?

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Conspicuous by its absence: Napoleon Dynamite.

 

When that came out, everyone on this board took it in turns to suck each other off over this movie for more than a month.

 

My undrafted free agent list:

 

1. Ikiru

2. Time Bandits

3. UHF

4. Conan the Barbarian

5. The Terminator

6. Small Time Crooks

7. Arsenic and Old Lace

8. Fear of a Black Hat

9. The Maltese Falcon

10. The Big Sleep

11. A Night at the Opera

12. Disorder in the Court (Three Stooges)

13. Strangers on a Train

14. For A Few Dollars More

15. The 400 Blows

16. Dumbo

17. Full Metal Jacket

18. The Crippled Masters

19. Blazing Saddles

20. Kagemusha

[godthedog 0]

'small time crooks'...really? i don't think i've even thought about that movie in 8 years.

 

are we going to do 1st-3rd place voting on these, once everybody's picks are in?

[Jebus 0]

'small time crooks'...really? i don't think i've even thought about that movie in 8 years.

 

are we going to do 1st-3rd place voting on these, once everybody's picks are in?

 

Sure.

 

Everyone feel free to send some PM's to those who still have picks to make.

 

[Craig Th 0]

Anddd for my final pick.

 

 

The Core

 

My all time favorite guilty pleasure.

[Cran Da Maniac 0]

Conspicuous by its absence: Napoleon Dynamite.

 

When that came out, everyone on this board took it in turns to suck each other off over this movie for more than a month.

 

My undrafted free agent list:

 

 

16. Dumbo

 

 

Mind me asking why this one is on your list?

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Pink Elephants on parade.

 

 

This is Disney here. A family movie, and there's this scene where the title character, a baby elephant, gets all fucked up, hallucinates that sequence, and wakes up in a tree.

 

Also, my woman absolutely cannot watch this movie, due to the scene where Dumbo's mother gets locked up and she's rocking him in her trunk from inside in the iron bars. Her mom wasn't locked up or anything weird, she just finds the scene totally heartwrenching and cries hysterically for like two minutes if she even thinks about it too much.

 

'small time crooks'...really? i don't think i've even thought about that movie in 8 years.

 

Real soft spot for that one. Since my two favorite Woody Allen movies, Annie Hall and Manhattan, were drafted, I went with one that made me laugh really really hard. Woody's pulls off being stupid as hell perfectly. I think that's kind of refreshing from his usual neurotic urban writer type character. Give it another look. Great by no means, but it's a hoot.

 

That list wasn't numerated in terms of preference, by the way, just in order I happened to think of them. My favorite on that list might be Blazing Saddles.

[godthedog 0]

for the hell of it, my favorite lists:

 

1. chilly willy/byron - no contest, really. for 'pierrot le fou', 'la jetee', 'boogie nights', 'stranger than paradise', 'dr. strangelove', 'nashville'.

 

2. cm funk - for 'there will be blood', '2001', 'chinatown', and others. good stuff.

 

3. jingus - well-balanced list. for 'the incredibles', 'taxi driver', 'nosferatu', 'the descent'.

 

honorable mention, hitman jebus - kind of a hit-or-miss list for me, but there's some solid and very watchable stuff. for 'pulp fiction', 'e.t.', and 'high fidelity'.

[Nighthawk 0]

Dumbo is also flagrantly racist. But, yes, every who has ever done hallucinogens can testify that they were not in their right mind with that pink elephants shit.

 

Still not quite as good a drug movie as James and the Giant Peach.

[USC Wuz Robbed! 0]

My final three picks:

 

1. The Decalogue (1989)

2. A Touch of Zen (1971)

3. Invasion of the Body Snatchers (1956)