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King Cucaracha


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The SWF Presents...



Live ON PAY PER VIEW from the BI-LO Center, Greenville, South Carolina, 7pm EST Friday 26th September 2008!

Another year has rolled around, and once more the stars of the SWF are ready to do battle in the biggest event of the year, the one that started it all off, Genesis! The fed's eighth year has been an odd one, an innovative one, one with perhaps less commercial success than we used to have back in the days of television deals, but where new faces have come to the fore - some new in truth, others with a newfound passion and will to win. What does this ninth installment of the greatest wrestling show in the SWF have in store for us? Only time will tell...

'The Maori Badass' Va'aiga© vs 'The Mad Scientist Of The Mat' Michael Alexander

It was early 2004 when Va'aiga last held the World Title, but at Ground Zero the Maori stepped up and fulfilled his destiny by once again beating the Champion at his own game; instead of a King's Road match against Danny Williams it was a Hell In A Cell against probably the SWF's most dangerous competitor in a no-rules environment, the Insane Luchador. Va'aiga came through that one OK, but now he faces a new and entirely different challenge - the man Rickmen beat for that title in the first place, Michael Alexander.

Where has Alexander been since his loss? We're not entirely sure, but what we know is that he's back and on the trail of glory once more. As the breakout star of 2007 Alexander always promised greatness, but his hold on it once he achieved it by dethroning Toxxic at Clusterfuck 2008 was relatively short-lived. The former champion was worthy of a rematch, that much was not in doubt, but is it entirely coincidental that Alexander has waited this long to return? Has he really had other commitments, or was the Professor of Pain merely gambling on the fact that Toxxic and Landon needed a strong challenger for Genesis and wanted to see his name in lights once more?

This match is one that will cause comment and interest around the wrestling world; having been prepared for the Insane Luchador's hardcore tendencies, will Va'aiga now be ready to take on the technical genius that is Alexander? The Maori has never been the most gifted of mat wrestlers and Alexander thrives in such an environment, but will Va'aiga's massive size advantage simply be too much for the self-proclaimed Evil Genius to handle? And the crowd may factor as well; as a big man with crowd-popping offence Va'aiga has been enjoying the cheers of the fans over the last year, but will they turn against him as Alexander challenges for the gold in his hometown, or will Alexander's tendency to make enemies extend even to his fellow citizens of Greenville?

Rules: Standard Singles
Send To: King Cucaracha

Insane Luchador vs Alan Clark

Alan Clark, another former World Champion. He lost his first and only hold on the Big Gold Belt to Johnny Dangerous, but never really hung around to try and get it back. With his autobiography out in stores near you, Alan Clark has returned to the SWF in order to pursue... what? Fame? Fortune? Yet more bloody antics? No, it would seem, only the SWF World Title. Will he get there. We shall have to see, but after over a year out of the spotlight does he still have what it takes to hang with the best?

...and we do mean 'the best'. The Insane Luchador Andrew Rickmen has been handing the entire Federation its ass on a silver platter since exploding into the limelight this spring. This isn't the same Rickmen that Clark might remember from the old days. This Rickmen would feed that Rickmen his teeth in under 30 seconds. The question is, can the Insane Luchador's notoriously unstable psyche truly recover from losing the World Title to Va'aiga at Ground Zero? Has the Ill One's spirit been (at least temporarily) broken, or will he get his moment of glory at Genesis after all by showing Clark why coming back to the business is no easy matter?

However, we thought we'd be nice to both men... sort of. The Insane Luchador loves hardcore matches. Alan Clark railed against the anti-hardcore rules that Disney imposed upon him. So as a Genesis present, we've given them licence to wreak as much havoc on each other as they can... to a point. And for sure, the winner of this one is going to make a huge statement regarding their World Championship intentions.

Rules: The ring will be surrounded by weapons of all different kinds, although we probably draw the line at bladed weapons and firearms. Otherwise your general deathmatch weaponry will be in attendance. Also in attendance is Mistress Sarah (she needed the money), who has VERY large spinning wheel which displays pictures of the different weapons. Sarah is blindfolded and will spin the wheel as and when she sees fit - when Funyon makes the announcement of what the wheel has stopped on, that weapons AND ONLY THAT WEAPON is legal until Sarah spins the wheel again, at which point the legality will change. You won't be able to stick with a weapon - this match will challenge your inventiveness. However, the way to win the match remains the same at all times, i.e. pinfall or submission in or out of the ring. No countout and no DQ, except if you use a weapon that is not currently legal.
Send To: Toxxic

TKO© vs The Breslins

TKO are now two-time SWF Tag Team Champions, and by the time Genesis rolls around it's possible they might hold the Tag Titles in the DVS as well, as they're challenging for them at Havok 2008. However, the sneaky orientals are not going to have it all their own way by any means as Leo and Luke Breslin are coming to Greenville with the intention of ruining their party.

It's difficult to know why TKO decided they hated the Breslins so much. As with so many things with TORU and KOJI, it may simply have been for the hell of it. However, the Breslin Brothers took exception to the cheating, beatdowns and backstage attacks that characterise the current Tag Champions and have set out to bring their enemies to task. As yet TKO have managed to remain one step ahead, and their most recent encounter saw Luke Breslin take a Tiger Driver onto the hood of his own car in Puerto Rico, yet still the Breslins come. Leo went to Landon Maddix and demanded (we presume with permission) that his brother's impending World Title shot from winning three straight singles matches be changed to a Tag Title shot for the both of them - Maddix agreed, and now The Breslins have TKO in their sights, at the biggest event of the year no less. Blood may be thicker than water, but it's not their own blood that Luke and Leo are looking to spill; can the brotherhood work against the SWF's most polished team since the days of Wild & Dangerous, or will TKO's experience (not to mention rule-breaking and backup from Chris Card Enterprises) win out over hot heads?

Rules: Standard Tag. Use the tag ropes.
Send To: King Cucaracha

Johnny 'The Barracuda' Dangerous vs ???
What's that? Another former World Champion? No, not just any former World Champion - this is Johnny Dangerous, former three-time World Heavyweight Champion and one-half of the most decorated SWF tag team of all time. The Secret Agent returns to the fold for this most prestigious of events, one year after he lost the gold to Toxxic at Genesis for the second time. However, Johnny's opponent for tonight remains a mystery unsolvable by even the secret agent (we hope, unless Steve in Accounts has been talking when he shouldn't again). The mythological Question Mark Man, who has a pretty formiddable win-loss record over his many SWF appearances. Of course, as different people once the question mark slips, but still. As a result we can't really talk the match up much... but we have high hopes for it. VERY high hopes. We don't think you'll have seen this one coming.

Rules: Standard Singles
Send To: Toxxic

S.I.N. & Bruner vs GTA Fight Team

S.I.N. and Mister Bruner, albeit with the help of Sir Marvelous and by fair means or foul, put away VDN at A Prelude To Grendeur in their score settling war. And they are now turning towards the belts that Dace Night and Va'aiga held until recently - the SWF Tag Team Titles. In their way stand the Canadians - Tod James Stewart and Daniel Smith, collectively known as the GTA Fight Team who dismantled DVS's Team Canada a month or so back. Even with the impressive Smith ranged against them, the overall power advantage has to go to S.I.N. and Bruner, but can Tod's veteran wiles swing the advantage back in his team's favour? One way or another, by the end of tonight we will know who will face either TKO or the Breslins for the SWF Tag Titles as we restart this division with a bang!

Rules: Standard Tag
Send To: Toxxic

Taiga Star© vs Spyke

There's a whole lotta history to this match. Not just the fact that Spyke is undefeated in singles matches in the SWF and is in the right weight bracket. No, you've got to remember that Spyke came over here to invade the SWF from the DVS, and was the ringleader in beating the piss out of Taiga Star. Taiga put in the performance of her SWF career so far to take the Cruiserweight Title from 'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins, but now can she stand up to the challenge of this rather more familiar foe? We all know Spyke's opinion on Taiaga, as he's been anything but subtle about letting people his opinions on anything. Taiga is a girl of few words and many knuckle sandwiches. It's the Motormouth taking on the Mighty Moose, and the Cruiserweight Title is on the line! Taiga holds the psychological advantage by way of a rather nasty KUDO Driver at A Prelude To Grandeur. Will things go her way one on one though?

Rules: Cruiserweight. 20 count on the outside. We're ditching the 'no throwing over the top rope' rule because it's Genesis, we're trying something new and it never made that much sense to Toxxic. What can I tell ya? No love for Smokey Mountain there.
Send To: Mr. S£im Citrus

'Hollywood' Spike Jenkins vs Divefire (Special Guest Referee - Tom Flesher)

Oh, Spike Jenkins. He won the Cruiserweight Title in the Air Raid match and then decided to crown himself as the greatest Cruiserweight ever. Who'd have ever guessed a cocky boast by a cocky man would come back to haunt him in professional wrestling! Divefire had been looking at returning and needed only the slightest encouragement from Toxxic (who's had that whole issue with Spike since the 'LSD in his Coke' event in South Africa in 2005) to take issue with Spike's claim and gatecrash the event. Toxxic and Landon decided that if Divefire could beat Spike he'd get a shot at the title - Jenkins attacked Divefire with weapons in the planned match, trying to take him out of the game for good, leading to a DQ and a technical win for Divefire, giving the Fiery Ninja a shot at the title...

...but, Jenkins no longer holds it. Taiga Star had a pre-existing shot, and when it came around she took that belt from Spike like candy from a baby. This means Divefire and Spike are fighting for nothing but pride, but since both men have plenty of this we should still get a helluva show! Divefire will still get his title shot in due course, but Spike could do a lot for his chances of another crack at the belt by taking out the Englishman tonight. And at Divefire's request, this one won't be ending early as both men can do whatever they wish with no worries about being disqualified...

...not that Tom Flesher ever paid much attention to rules in his career. The Superior One has finally, after a long investigation, been caught out on at least some of the embezzlement charges leveled against him during his time as Commissioner of the SWF. As a result he now has to do community service, which Landon and Toxxic have decided will be performed tonight by being guest referee. It's fair to say that it's unlikely he'll be given any financial responsibility anytime soon. Expect the speed of the counts to be based entirely on whether Tom can be bothered to count at all, or whether he wants to get it over and done with as soon as possible. Either way, he's still likely to call it down the middle as we doubt whether he cares enough about either competitor to try and give them an advantage.

Rules: No disqualifications, win by pinfall or submission but this must take place in the ring. Rope breaks are, of course, not in effect. Expect Tom to stand casually on your hands if you try it.
Send To: JHawk

"The Dean Of Professional Wrestling" Jay Hawke vs. Dance Dance Dragon

A very serious chap, The Dean Of Professional Wrestling. Jay Hawke takes great pride in pro wrestling and great pride in the way HE does professional wrestling. The old-school way. So, it's fair to call he and the eccentric Dance Dance Dragon polar opposites in the way they go about their business. On returning to the SWF, Hawke got the chance to see Dragon's way up close and personal on commentary for one of his matches and he was far from impressed. So much so that he demanded a match with The Masked Dance Assassin to expose him as a joke and proceeded to injure Dragon's shoulder. Unfortunately, Hawke didn't finish the job and now the Dragon has returned. Having won under Dragon's favoured cruiserweight rules, Hawke agreed to Dragon's toe-stepped demands of a rematch (at least we think that's what he was doing), but on one condition... it would be under his terms, his rules. Old-school Rules.

Rules: This match will be fought under Old School Rules. Two out of three falls, with a 60 minute time limit. Each wrestler has three rope breaks per fall. Throwing an opponent over the top rope is an immediate disqualification.
Send To: Toxxic

Special Appearance!
Krista Isadora Duncan vs Chance Silver

The SWF has a long and illustrious history of lesbians. Whether that's something to be proud of depends on your upbringing, I guess. Fair to say, the OAOAST's Krista Isadora Duncan, is very proud of it. As proud as she is of her many achievements in life. She's a best selling author, a fitness video queen, an inductee onto The Hollywood Walk of Fame and star of the world famous FIT with KID line of exercise videos, the star of the VH1 reality show The Look Of Love, the Angle Award winning female personality of the year (and I find it funny that gets lumped in with everything else, because it's really, REALLY worthless), not to mention a four-time OAOAST Tag Team Champion who's NEVER lost a one on one match in her entire career. Which is pretty long. Plus there's a ton of other achievements and things to be proud of that OAOAST viewers will be aware of. But perhaps more than all this, she has a fearsome reputation of making anyone who steps in the ring with her or interacts with her in any way look like a complete and utter embarrassment to the human race. Like Landon Maddix at AngleSlam, for example. To be fair, Chance Silver doesn't need much help to achieve embarrassment. So we dread to think what will become of him here.

Rules: Standard Singles. Match cannot be stopped for extreme humiliation or emasculating.
Send To: King Cucaracha

Two SWF veterans going at it at the SWF's premiere event. Is there anything in life better? Well... honestly, yeah, I could think of a couple of things if pushed. But it still ought to be very good. A victory for either Pete or MANSON would be a big boost to their standings in the SWF, not least a victory at Genesis. Read into that what you will...

Rules: Standard Singles
Send To: King Cucaracha

Munich vs X-Punk
Another SWF veteran in need of a good win to make Commissioner and GM alike take notice is Munich, after an inconsitent win-loss record of late. His opponent, X-Punk, comes to us from the DVS and looks to make an impact on his first Genesis, with eyes on a successful singles run and possibly further complicating the CW Title scene by staking a claim. A win at the big show certainly wouldn't hurt either. Read into that what you will also...

Rules: Standard Singles
Send To: King Cucaracha

NOTE: This is Genesis. This is the biggest show of the year. As such there are NO WORD LIMITS. Yes, it's a throwback to the PPV days of old, except we're only going to do this once a year. For this one occasion, you can go wild... and then be jobbed as we wade through page after page of dreary, self-indulgent twaddle ;) No, we jest. But matches that send the marker to sleep will probably lose.

(send all marked matches, promos, last minute booking requests etc to King Cucaracha)
Edited by King Cucaracha

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