Need help finding product to pass drug test

[Matt Young 0]

I was offered a job tonight. It's guaranteed, full time, and union. All I have to do is show up for the interview on Thursday and pass a drug test. However, as fate would have it, I smoked weed on Sunday. It had been a month and a half. I then smoked 1 bowl per day on Monday and Tuesday,

 

I need a cleansing product so I can pass the drug test. I don't know of any true head shops around here. Pipes are sold at smoke shops, usually run by Arabic people, but those places don't carry what I'm looking for. Does anyone know of any chain stores where I can get a detox drink or something similar?

[Guest Vitamin X]

Just drink a shitload of water, that's pretty much the only thing that'll help.

[Nighthawk 0]

Don't even bother doing that, you've failed.

[death_by_burrito 0]

My brother is a big pothead, and whenever he thinks he has a drug test coming up, he drinks a lot of cranberry juice and mineral water. He also pops a shitload of what he calls "cranberry pills" (that may be the name, but im not a pothead and im drunk, so just going by what he says), and that seems to work well for him. Hopefully that helps some and doesnt just seem like a bunch of bullshit.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Swallow sperm, and lots of it.

 

Preferably the sperm of a Yellow Lab.

 

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

I've gone through this before on this board. Slayer will probably find it, but I'll give you the answer anyway.

 

Detox products are a myth. When you purchase one, it will instruct you to drink something in the neighborhood of 80-100 oz of water. That's because the only way to pass is to give a diluted sample. The "detox" product is just a bunch of vitamins and bullshit to make your piss seem less diluted.

 

What you need to do, starting now, is drink the fuck out of some water. And I mean drink some fucking water. Drink water until you're on the verge of puking. I'm talking gallons. Plural. Take a caffeine pill (or drink some espresso) today, and be prepared to piss constantly. You want completely clear urine.

 

When you have to take the test, catch the middle of your stream and hope for the best. Either you'll pass or fail, so you might as well try.

[Retard Girl 0]

...don't drink water to the point of it being toxic though. you can dilute yourself to death.

 

http://drbenkim.com/drink-too-much-water-dangerous.html

 

yes, you can.

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

Yeah, don't do that, Matt, that would break my heart.

[Slayer 0]

I've gone through this before on this board. Slayer will probably find it

Is this what I've been reduced to now?

[Slayer 0]

...here's one thread on the subject, which in turn has links to two other threads

[Guest Tzar Lysergic]

If I ever lose my keys, you're the first person I'm asking.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

If I ever lose my keys, you're the first person I'm asking.

Unless you lose them in an old thread, I'm not sure that he will be much help.

[At Home 0]

That was the joke.

[Cheech Tremendous 0]

Yeah, I got it.

[dubq 0]

Fucken username changes...

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

I don't usually notice signatures. I had no idea that was Matt Young.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

Never had to pass one, had a few friends that tried. They failed. You're pretty much fucked.

[Youth N Asia 0]

well? do you think you passed?

[Matt Young 0]

It turns out I don't have to take it yet. I passed one 9 days after smoking before, so I'm hoping for a similar time frame in between smoking and testing. It's been 2 days so far.

[The Niggardly King 0]

take some apple cider vinegar, shoot directly up your pisshole. Hold it in there for 20 minutes... you'll be clean for a few hours after that.

[CanadianGuitarist 0]

take some apple cider vinegar, shoot directly up your pisshole. Hold it in there for 20 minutes... you'll be clean for a few hours after that.

 

I'd rather keep browsing the classifieds.

[Twisted Intestine 0]

Just get somebody to give you clean peepee.

[Lord of The Curry 0]

If you're doing that at least make sure it's a male of similar age.

[Slayer 0]

oh, and make sure they also don't use drugs

[Youth N Asia 0]

Also get it fairly close to when you're going yourself. They check the temp

[At Home 0]

Just hold it in your mouth for a bit. Gargle it. That'll make it warmer.

[Slayer 0]

Stick it in the microwave

[Nighthawk 0]

Guy I know used to provide piss for his dad. He did this regularly, even though they were like 20 year apart in age. He actually put his son's urine into his own bladder via catheter.

[The Niggardly King 0]

might be the most disturbing post you've made and you've posted about 13 year old pussy cheese fucking