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Matt Young

Need help finding product to pass drug test

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I was offered a job tonight. It's guaranteed, full time, and union. All I have to do is show up for the interview on Thursday and pass a drug test. However, as fate would have it, I smoked weed on Sunday. It had been a month and a half. I then smoked 1 bowl per day on Monday and Tuesday,

 

I need a cleansing product so I can pass the drug test. I don't know of any true head shops around here. Pipes are sold at smoke shops, usually run by Arabic people, but those places don't carry what I'm looking for. Does anyone know of any chain stores where I can get a detox drink or something similar?

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My brother is a big pothead, and whenever he thinks he has a drug test coming up, he drinks a lot of cranberry juice and mineral water. He also pops a shitload of what he calls "cranberry pills" (that may be the name, but im not a pothead and im drunk, so just going by what he says), and that seems to work well for him. Hopefully that helps some and doesnt just seem like a bunch of bullshit.

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Guest Tzar Lysergic

I've gone through this before on this board. Slayer will probably find it, but I'll give you the answer anyway.

 

Detox products are a myth. When you purchase one, it will instruct you to drink something in the neighborhood of 80-100 oz of water. That's because the only way to pass is to give a diluted sample. The "detox" product is just a bunch of vitamins and bullshit to make your piss seem less diluted.

 

What you need to do, starting now, is drink the fuck out of some water. And I mean drink some fucking water. Drink water until you're on the verge of puking. I'm talking gallons. Plural. Take a caffeine pill (or drink some espresso) today, and be prepared to piss constantly. You want completely clear urine.

 

When you have to take the test, catch the middle of your stream and hope for the best. Either you'll pass or fail, so you might as well try.

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Guy I know used to provide piss for his dad. He did this regularly, even though they were like 20 year apart in age. He actually put his son's urine into his own bladder via catheter.

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