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The Niggardly King

Damaramu

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So I hadn't been to TSM in a while and had some time to kill before I went out on Friday night. Naturally, the first place I go is No Holds Barred, the place for precision skewering of posters I'd never heard of by other people who had no lives. It's been a few days, something's gotta be cracking there, I thought. This would be good. So I click on it, seeing that there's a thread about Damaramu. It is that time of the year for him, so I guessed some 18 year old Hawaiian transplant with the apparent constitution of lint felt this annual force of nature for the first time. When a Big XII team and an SEC team love each other very much, Damaramu pops out, a 6'4" cornfed (how'd that happen?!) man-child. Nope, it wasn't that at all. Whew. No, this was far more troubling. My internetting smile turned to an expression of grave concern for this poor woman, barely able to feed herself and having to be restrained when she had an episode. "She should be in an institution, not on a marriage license!" I exclaimed.

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How come Dama didn't have an internet feed set up so we could all be apart of his wedding?

 

The chapel was working off a 56k. It would've been laggy as hell.

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Technically we all were "apart of" his wedding. You should make that a t-shirt, it's just hip and ironic enough to sell.

 

 

And tell us Dama, how was that new vagina smell?

 

 

Well we've been together for 3 years, so it really wasn't that new. :(

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Technically we all were "apart of" his wedding. You should make that a t-shirt, it's just hip and ironic enough to sell.

 

 

And tell us Dama, how was that new vagina smell?

 

 

Well we've been together for 3 years, so it really wasn't that new. :(

 

So tell us, Dama, how does that old and tired vagina smell?

 

:D seriously, congrats

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Technically we all were "apart of" his wedding. You should make that a t-shirt, it's just hip and ironic enough to sell.

 

 

And tell us Dama, how was that new vagina smell?

 

 

Well we've been together for 3 years, so it really wasn't that new. :(

 

So tell us, Dama, how does that old and tired vagina smell?

 

:D seriously, congrats

 

Thanks you all. I try not to sniff it. Haha.

 

I'm hesitant to post a wedding photo since I don't know what photoshops or criticisms I open myself to. But I will go ahead and do it:

l_c993f7801e3444a3935d9e4224b7b17a.jpg

 

That coat makes me look huge!

 

Here's another:

 

l_477b40dc71744cad979708cdf1696699.jpg

 

And lastly:

 

l_87ff8f527ce84912ba5802ea5c08fa49.jpg

 

One of my rugby teammates (not pictured) deflected the garter b/c he didn't want to catch it and the dude in the hat picked it up. Guess he gets to marry his freaky looking girlfriend.

 

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You didn't use retarded wedding colors. Good for you.

 

My cousin had a brown, orange and purple wedding. It was awful.

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I would ask for mine to be all red and purple, but then everyone would have to spend loads of money on buying new suits. I'm not that mean! I suppose they could just rent them out, but nowhere I've been has ever carried those colours.

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Guest Vitamin X

I guess no one noticed Dama had his wedding in OU colors. (Although I'm sure that was unintentional)

 

Congrats anyways, big guy! Even though I think I told you when you were milling about here the day after. My buddy's wedding a couple months ago had us all wearing pink except for the groom and bride, who wore their traditional black and white. The garter came *RIGHT* at me, and I deftly jumped out of the way of it, but I think it was too late- someone unaffiliated with the wedding came around and picked it up sheepishly behind me, and everyone knew that was supposed to be me.

 

I definitely don't see myself getting married in the near or even somewhat near future- stability is not exactly my forte, and there's no one I can really think of I'd care about that much. But hey, more power to those who want to engage in that!

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Aw, Dama! It all looked just splendid. Any drunk relative stories from the reception or anything?

 

Nah. I didn't really get a chance to talk to anyone at the reception anyway. The whole day was a complete blur and I felt like I was tugged in 100 different directions. It's been almost 3 weeks and it feels like it was so long ago now because it just flew by.

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