2009 TSM Poster Tournament: The Round of 64

[Guest Czecherbear]

Well, there goes the last shutout. Still a lot of really close ones all over, though.

[Guest Vitamin X]

Oh fuck you, luke-o.

[luke-o 0]

Sorry dude. It was a tough call.

[TheFranchise 0]

I appreciate you thinking I look good, Luke-O.

[godthedog 0]

i think i need to make a disclaimer and say that the death of heath ledger may have caused me to think that the performances of some of the posters here this year were better than they really are.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

1. DrVenkman over 16. Angle-plex. I nominated Venk. He'll have my back next round.

9. bigolsmitty over 8. Dandy. Dandy was great in "I banned Choken One." But, I appreciate smitty's contributions to the Somali thread and overall in CE.

13. HarleyQuinn over 4. Inc. Harley is a good Sports poster and is the only one who offers insight on the FCS.

5. Antwon Mitchell over 12. Marney. He's got my back, and so I've got his.

2. Byron the Bulb over 15. Urban Warfare. I am voting for Byron against anyone other than myself. He appreciates the Somali thread.

10. Brooklyn Zoo over 7. Cheech. I like that Mr. Zoo is in all of the draft threads.

14. Bruiser Brody over 3. Slayer. Slayer already won in 2006, guys. Let the new blood rise up.

6. Xavier Cromartie over 11. Thoth. The rise of the intelligent posting era at TSM.

 

1. Kinetic over 16. Twisted. I was actually thinking about giving the other guy a pity vote here, but then I saw that the "other guy" was Twisted Intestine and that dude fucking sucks!^[1]

9. snuffbox over 8. Broward83. Snuffbox is pretty good in CE.

13. Spaceman Spiff over 4. Matt Young. I wonder if Matt Young would love to get his hands on me for not voting for him.

5. CanadianChris over 12. Burning Pirate Ship Sex. It's not easy to vote against a pirate, but Chris does a nice job with the Death Pool.

2. mellowjoyful over 15. Use Your Illusion. Good avatar, mellow.

7. Bored over 10. Obi Chris Kenobi. College football guy.

3. Edwin over 14. JAxlMorrison. Quite an easy opening-round draw. Edwin can take this bracket.

6. fazzle over 11. AndrewTS. My good rival in the WWE Fantasy game days.

 

1. KOAB over 16. still fly. Sorry, Mr. Fly. You're a good, underrated poster. Just a tough draw.

8. TheFranchise over 9. Smartly Pretty. Good for him for carrying on with the WWE Fantasy game.

13. Smues over 4. bob_barron. The mod everyone likes.

5. Mattdotcom over 12. the max. Mattdotcom has an amazin' life!

2. King Kamala over 15. Cowboy numbers. Kamala is fairly omnipresent and solid.

7. pbone over 10 Damaramu. Dama's not bad. Gotta go with Parker here. I wouldn't be CE Poster of the Year 2008 without him.

3. Al Keiper over 14. luke-o. Ugh.

6. Agent of Oblivion over 11. alfdogg. I'm going with AoO. He gets discussions going.

 

1. Sensei John Kreese over 16. Kotz. HEY! Kotz won in 2004. Times change.

9. the Sperm over CanadianGuitarist. Just for the name "the Sperm."

4. treble over 13. KingPK. The tie post.

5. Black Lushus over 12. massito. American Idol fan.

15. Hawk_34 over 2. Milky. Milky already won in 2008.

7. Kingofthe909 over 10. gary floyd. Gary floyd is obsessed with telling us how much he doesn't care about Leelee.

3. Vitamin X over 14. Scroby. I don't really get his voting against me because I'm "quirky." I nominated him and will vote for him.

11. godthedog over 6. Lord of the Curry. Another omnipresent, solid poster.

[Slayer 0]

14. Bruiser Brody over 3. Slayer. Slayer already won in 2006, guys. Let the new blood rise up.

Brody's been here longer than me

[The Niggardly King 0]

Let him have his Hardcore Holly run at the main event

[Slayer 0]

I don't care that he voted against me, I just got a chuckle out his reasoning

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

You didn't understand what I wrote. I wasn't calling Brody a new poster. I was saying let a new champion emerge.

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

He's a hundred and forty pounds, leave him alone.

 

170*

[Guest Vitamin X]

3. Vitamin X over 14. Scroby. I don't really get his voting against me because I'm "quirky." I nominated him and will vote for him.

I appreciate it, although I'll explain my voting against you for quirkiness. The only things I've seen you post recently are your eating habits in the food folder (which consisted of multiple protein shakes a day or something) and the Somali Pirates thread. Aside from the food folder posting, your posts read more like essays with citations, footnotes, and incredibly (some might say too much) detailed lines of debate. While that sort of conversational tactic works well in academia, in a social setting such as TSM it can be interpreted as unnecessarily verbose and burdensome to read. Note I don't think you're unintelligent or any of those other things you stated earlier against your opponent, however I have to read (and write) several essays and academic papers and the last thing I want to do when I come here to "shoot the shit" with other posters is sit through a lecture from another poster. Other than that, I think you're a pretty neat guy to have around the board, and I like Thoth, so I don't think my vote really went the wrong way there.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

That's an excellent explanation. Thanks.

 

(I would never drink a protein shake, though. Only natural foods.)

[BUTT 0]

Agnes - I like Venkman but Agnes has made so many great posts that have flown under the radar. I don't see him winning this round, but dammit I'll give him the nod.

Smitty - That one-word thing really took Dandy's stock down. Sorry

Inc - Pushed for me to be invited somewhere, plus HarleyQuinn started that whole draft thing, and well you know you know

EHME - I saw EHME's late friend's dad mentioned in Bret Hart's autobiography. He put a curse on the Dynamite Kid. The Dynamite Kid was a bad man, so I support such supernatural chicanery.

Byron - I hear he's smarter than the rest of us

Cheech - Don't know the other guy

Slayer - I like Slayer but I don't think he likes me

Ortonsault - This guy added me as a board friend. Voting against him would be a betrayal.

 

K-Tic - The hardest boarder of them all. Will win this whole thing.

Snuffbox - I really don't know broward. Sorry

Spaceman Spiff - Other guy's a little too smug in the facial region

Burning PSS - "Star Ocean 3" once questioned why so many Canadian posters have "Canadian" in their usernames. I question this too.

Mellow - Had a good year. What's UYI do but post about GNR?

Obi Chris Kenobi - Bored is a big-time sports guy, right? Well I don't post in Sports.

Edwin - Lol

Fazzle - B.I.G. post got this one cinched. I like Andrew but gosh darn does he take his games too seriously. That TMNT game on Wii is going to be great

 

KOAB - KOAB is great. I fear he'll OD soon, but he's still a great poster. I hope he finishes the Secret Life season before he checks into rehab.

Smartly Pretty - Another Maffer, I believe. Has been at TSM since he was like 12 or 13, which is astounding.

Barron - My love of Barron has been well-documented. This guy is the true treasure of the board, always taking shit for who he is and never once caring. Plus Smues warned me for bumpin' a thread BOO to him (no urns)

Mattdotcom - This guy is really one to watch. He's hit quite a few out of the park during 2008. The Deon thread and the sitcom/weed thread showcase his best moments

Kamala - Good dude

Pbone - Not the last time someone will vote for him amirite

Luke-o - Still makes me laugh whenever I see that goofy British smile. He's so happy-go-lucky

Agent - I've never figured out why alfdogg is such a target of ridicule. But he must deserve it, right? TSM just doesn't pick on undeserving people!

 

Kreese - I have to vote for myself. This is a tough one. I need all the support I can get. The early goings favor me, Spoon still has a lot of cachet. I haven't forgotten "Does Sensei John Kreese Lose?", and while I carry no grudge, it's time for Fluffy to get his comeuppance. If only were this to be contested in the Scott Keith region, it would all come full circle!

Cyber Mark - Like I said about the Canucks

Treble - Maybe this race will be a "tie." LOLOLOLOL

Lushus - Don't know the other guy

Milky - vs Hawk 34. Easiest race in the thread

909 - He's a little too proud of his mod powers, but he also didn't play the Shaq Card in a Chinese Democracy thread

VX - Scroty is a Meltzerknocker

GTD - Why not

[bob_barron 0]

16. Angle-plex- Agnes is responsible for our most recent classic thread.

9. bigolsmitty- I really like Smitty's post in CE

4. Inc.- Will this be an 8 vote blowout?

12. Marney. EHME's gimmick is so old at this point.

15. Urban Warfare. I don't get Byron.

10. Brooklyn Zoo Zoo makes good contributions in the sports thread

3. Slayer. Brody is awful.

6. Xavier Cromartie. I'm digging the pirate thread

 

1. Kinetic. He made a youtube video about me.

9. snuffbox. I don't really know Broward too well.

13. Spaceman Spiff. NewsRadio fans unite.

5. CanadianChris. Chris is a great poster, and I enjoy his contributions in sports.

2. mellowjoyful. Does UYI post outside of the G-n-R thread?

7. Bored. No reason

3. Edwin. JAXL is awful, Edwin is great.

6. fazzle. Fazzle does not suck.

 

16. still fly. As a Saints Fan I feel for a Raiders fan.

9. Smartly Pretty. I dig his contributions in sports

4. bob_barron.

5. Mattdotcom. Matt's become great recently.

2. King Kamala. Cowboy numbers is pretty awful, especially with his PBP in football threads.

7. pbone. No reason.

14. luke-o. Al's anti-NY bias is just tiring.

6. Agent of Oblivion. See AOO- I like you!

 

 

1. Sensei John Kreese. Kreese is great

8. CanadianGuitarist. Hockey fan.

4. treble. The tie post.

5. Black Lushus. No reason.

2. Milky. Choken should kill himself.

7. Kingofthe909. Hockey fan.

3. Vitamin X. Scroby's anti-Meltzer stuff cost him a vote.

6. Lord of the Curry. LOTC uses the shift button

[BUTT 0]

I know what Barron was going for in Group 1 Line 6 but I'm just going to pretend he was calling a fellow poster "Brooklyn Zoo Zoo."

[Hawk 34 0]

Venkman

Dandy

Quinn

EHME

Byron

Brooklyn

Slayer

Orton Sault

 

Kinetic

Broward

Spaceman

Canadian Chris

Mellow

Bored

Edwin

Fazzle

 

 

KOAB

Franchise

SMUES

Mattdotcom

King Kamala

DAMA

AL

Agent

 

SJ Kreese

Canadian GTRST

King PK

Black Lushus

Milky

909

VX

LOTC

 

[Obi Chris Kenobi 0]

I wonder if this will cause any call out threads in No Holds Barred.

[bob_barron 0]

Choken One votes

 

Man, that's the last time I tell someone they should kill themself before they vote!

 

[Guest Czecherbear]

I don't mind godthedog eschewing the shift key. he's the e e cummings of TSM.

[Big Ol' Smitty 0]

Man now I feel like a dick for not voting for Bobby B.

[bob_barron 0]

I don't mind godthedog eschewing the shift key. he's the e e cummings of TSM.

 

It's just a pet peeve of mine.

[Guest]

Explanations come in later rounds. But if you really want to know, ask!

 

1. Venkman

8. Dandy. I flipped a coin.

4. Inc

12. Marney gets my vote. I enjoyed talking to her on MSN. That said, over the last year, I've started to like EHME. No homo.

2. Byron

7. Cheech is really cool. I'm going to vote for him in the next round too.

3. Slayer more like gayer

6. Ortonsault's Somali Pirates thread is great

 

1. Kinetic.

9. Snuffy.

4. Matt Young. Kings fans stick together.

5. Canadian Chris

2. Mellow

10. Another hard one. I had to go with teh soccer fan.

3. Edwin

6. Fazzle

 

16. KOAB likes to follow me around and talk about my e-dick. Fuck that homo.

8. I honestly didn't know who to pick.

13. Same as the last. I had to go with Smues this time though.

12. He likes Phil Kessel a lot.

2. Kamala

7. I like both. Had to go with pbone.

3. Al.

11. Alf is going to lose. I'll pad his stats.

 

1. Kotz wasn't around. Kreese wins.

8. I don't care for Cyber Mark.

4. I wear a tie when I visit the board.

12. I like BL a lot, but he doesn't like when people vote for him, so I won't.

2. Milky.

7. Myself. I'm going to lose next round.

3. VX

6. LOTC

[godthedog 0]

I know what Barron was going for in Group 1 Line 6 but I'm just going to pretend he was calling a fellow poster "Brooklyn Zoo Zoo."

 

and then milky and pbone could start a band called Brooklyn Zoo Zoo's Petals.

[Dandy 0]

Venkman - I hope he makes it a long way, as he is one of my faves. If I should make it to the next round, he will slaughter me.

Dandy - Smitty posted more regularly than I did, as I have been absentee a lot lately with my new position. However, I must try to keep my dream alive.

Incandenza - A HOFer if I ever saw one.

EHME - I love giving him hell, but I think he takes it in stride.

Byron the Bulb - Excellent poster, and I think he is just getting started.

Cheech - His absence from the board might hurt him, but it shouldn't. Great guy, and great poster.

Slayer - One of my all-time faves, and is always great for a witty one liner.

Ortonsault - I wish he would post more.

 

Kinetic - Best poster here at the moment.

Broward83 - Close call, as both are kinda "just there" for me.

Matt Young - I like Spiff, but Matt Young makes the board fun. I enjoy getting him going, but I think he's pretty much started to ignore it now.

Burning Pirate Ship Sex - CC does his best posting in Sports from what I gather, and I don't put much time in there.

Mellow - Landslide.

Bored - His subtitles always rock.

Edwin - Another tremendous poster. Who doesn't think this guy is good?

Fazzle - I don't venture into the Video Games folder.

 

KOAB - More drunk posting, plz.

TheFranchise - Pretty sensible guy.

Smues - I like bob, but Smues is one of my favorites. He used to always help me with name changes, etc., and I have enjoyed his rise up the ladder over the years.

Mattdotcom - Impressive start.

King Kamala - The guy I talk to on here the most, and a super-nice guy. I hope he goes far.

pbone - Toss up.

alkeiper - Keiper is a fellow baseball fanatic, and a fun guy to talk to. I like luke-o, but it's fucking alkeiper.

Alfdogg - Probably the toughest choice for me, as both deserve to move on. I have talked to alf more than Agent, though, so he gets the nod.

 

Kreese - Way back when, he gave me the power to organize TSMpedia, and that made more people aware of who I was.

Cyber Mark - Used to be a frequent chatter with me on AIM, and though I like both posters, that gives him the duke in this match up.

treble - One of my faves, and I always enjoyed talking to him in the Maff chats when everyone else lost interest.

Black Lushus - I think Maz is an up-and-comer, but Lushus has been a favorite of mine for a long time. I just wish he posted more.

Milky - The euphoria from last year has worn off, I believe, but he still carries enough weight to move on.

gary floyd - What's new in gary floyd's world? Hopefully round two.

VX - Sorry, Scroty. VX edges you here.

godthedog - A winner is you.

 

[Art Sandusky 0]

Agnes (how can you not?)

Smitty (I don't trust West Virginia)

Incandenza's 30! God!

Marney (EHME's gettin' Ashcroft'd)

Urban Warfare (Byron's another dime-a-dozen-round-these-parts pretentious buttplug)

Brooklyn Zoo (coin flip)

Brody (Slayer's goofy metal thing avatar is kinda queer)

Thoth (coin flip)

 

Kinetic (I'm still not sure who the intestine person is)

Snuffbox (the world needs less Texas)

MATT FUCKING YOUNG

Burning P.S.S. (burning what? I want to know more.)

Use Your Illusion (mellow what? Fuck that guy.)

Bored (Obi Chris Kenobi is a sack of shit.)

Edwin (JAxl is a covert sausage operative)

Fazzle (he voted for me. I don't know if Andrew did, so fuck Andrew.)

 

KOAB (he's sobered up. Kinda.)

Smartly Pretty (TheFranchise could be hit by lightning tomorrow and I wouldn't notice or ever know.)

Bob Barron (Alaska gave us Sarah Palin. Die, Smues.)

Mattdotcom (The Max is one of those oxygen wasting Patriot-lovin' fucks)

King Kamala (coin flip)

Damaramu (nothing personal, boy wonder. I just hope voting for Hossaramu will make Florida lose.)

Luke-O (Al got his World Series. He doesn't need this.)

Agent (Alfdogg is a running gag in an ironic e-fed.)

 

Kotzenjunge (I am that nigga.)

CanadianGuitarist (he tells you what he is in his name!)

Treble (see above, re: Patriot-lovin' cockmongers)

Lushus (I want to beat him this time)

Milky (You sit on a throne of lies, Hawk 34.)

Gary Floyd (Gary's weird as fuck, but 909 seems like he'll be a real douche in his 40s.)

VX (Even though this low down filthbag didn't vote for me)

GTD (Curry's goddamn sig kills my internet and YOU'RE WHITE GET OVER IT PLEASE)

[Xena Asomugha 0]

Hi. I'm Viktoriya Vegas. I have sand in my cunt. The Annual Maff Clique Jerkoff is a yearly tradition where I irrationally insult everyone. Czech said I could post this, so I'd recommend throwing him in The Gulag with Battlenuts, Marvin, Jingus, and Marney's rotted, tumor-filled corpse.

 

1) Dr. Venkman d. 16) Angle-Plex. - I didn't know "Agnes" still posted here, other than the joke in NoCalMike's new employment thread. And that was uncalled for. Temp-level office work would be a huge step up for 95% of you fucking losers. Venk has slipped some since becoming a full-time Maff idiot, but I enjoy his work in the Retards' Playground.

 

9) bigolshitty d. 8) Dandy - Even though shitty's an asshole, he's one of the few respectable Liberals in the echo chambre. Dandy's a tool. Anyone that chastises me for being a cunt at the Rotting Shithole of the Internet needs to be slapped unmercifully for their ignorance.

 

13) HarleyQuinn d. 5) Incandenza - I hate the "kool kidz", so this is a win by default. I like HQ's FCS stuff, although he does give off the alkeiper mastered "I know everything about sports because I religiously go to stat-based websites" knowledge. Of course, not as much of a douchebag as Alan.

 

12) Cancer Marney d. 4) EHME - RIP, Megan. It astounds me that EHME still isn't banned here. Hey, idiots, he's been doing the same awful gimmick for years and it's never been funny.

 

2) Bulb, Byron d. 15) Urban Warfare - Meh. Why would two people nominate the Florida fanboy? I like Paramore.

 

7) Cheech d. 10) Brooklyn Zoo - Cheech has become a really annoying clique fag lately, but I hate that nigger in the sports section. He's a clueless homer on everything.

 

3) Slayer d. 14) Brody - I HATE Slayer. Seriously, I'd stab him in the brain stem if I ever met him. Fortunately, I assume he has no contact with humans. Brody... oh, forums.thesmartmarks.com, you're so desperate to find anyone lower in the food chain than you.

 

6) Ortonsault d. 11) Thoth - Xavier is a man.

 

 

 

1) Kinetic d. 16) Twisted Intestine - Already 2 unfunny, unoriginal "Look at me! I'm so funny!" fucks I have to settle on. I care about not screwing up Danny's Excel sheet.

 

9) snuffbox d. 8) Broward83 - Who is nominating poor sports posters?? Man, TSM is getting bare these days. Good thing you kids are so welcoming to new posters.

 

13) Spaceman Spiff d. 4) Matt Young - Made fun of for years at a bad message board? Keep suckin' up until enough posters leave. Fag. But, I'm just jealous of Matthew's physique. I've always liked Spiff. He shouldn't still post here. And fuck Santino. And Kennedy. You're not alone.

 

5) CanadianChris d. 12) Burning Whatever - Chris is quality, even though he mocks me. I don't know who the other is. Thanks for the name changes, Dan.

 

15) UYI d. 2) Mellow - I can't recall a UYI post, but I'll take that over a new cocksucker desperately trying to fit in.

 

7) Bored d. 10) Obi - Bored is quality, even though he's an old curmudgeon. The other one insulted Ortonsault. Shut your fucking mouth and respect quality.

 

3) Edwin d. 14) JAxl - I don't care.

 

6) Fazzle d. 11) AndrewTS - Andrew's a know-it-all snatch. Fazzle posts in wrestling, I guess.

 

 

 

1) KOAB d. 16) still fly - KOAB tries too hard, but I'm still enjoying Jingus Sucks Day.

 

8) TheFranchise d. 9) Smartly Pretty - ?? I think I hacked the 2nd one. Heh.

 

13) Smues d. 4) Sam Barron - How soon it's forgotten that Smues paid to moderate forums.thesmartmarks.com. The sad thing is that it's so far down on the list of pathetic acts here that nobody remembers. Barron, as always, a smug prick because he stalks celebrities or something.

 

5) Mattdotcom d. 12) the max - Awful sports poster vs. some guy. Ok.

 

15) Cowboy? d. 2) King Kamala - Useless clique douche vs. some guy. Ok.

 

10) Damaramu d. 7) pbone - Dama is more addicted to this board than I am. pbone is gloriously awful. A completely ignorant college kid that thinks he knows everything. Of course, perfect qualifications to be a secret board fag.

 

3) alkeiper d. 14) Luke-o - I'm voting for Alan, so you know Luke-o is really fucking terrible. I'd snap his anorexic, Pez ass in half if he tried pulling his "You're so arrogant and bitchy" bullshit with me. Hey, asshole, are you aware what fucking board this is. A rotting, decaying shithole. Shut up and post more fat bitches.

 

11) alfdogg d. 6) AOO - Good fucking God, why am I here. I hate both of them. But, Alf is a much less horrible mod. Czech, I'm near giving up.

 

 

 

16) Kotz d. 1) Kreese - WHY AM I HERE I HATE BOTH OF THEM. One didn't stalk me 6 years ago. Here you go. Congrats.

 

8) CanadianGuitarist d. 9) Cyber Mark - Oh, this one stalked me 1 year ago. We're on a good run.

 

13) KingPK d. 4) treble - Where are we at now... 11 straight fuckers I want to stab because they're awful posters and rude cocks to me for no reason.

 

12) Massito d. 5) Black Lushus - Dumb lying nigger cunt vs. some guy. Ok. The key to getting my vote, I don't know who you are.

 

15) Hawk 34 d. 2) Milky - Milky is a shitty gimmick. Choken One is fine when he wants to be. Hey, a poster I kinda like. Holy shit.

 

7) 909 d. 10) gary floyd - HEY GUYS DID YOU KNOW THAT GARY FLOYD DOESN'T CARE ABOUT ME. I just wanted to make sure. He doesn't share his thoughts on every fucking thing in the world about 50 times per day. 909 is clique douche, but whatevz.

 

3) Vitamin X d. 14) Scroty - Clique douche vs. really stupid guy. Ok.

 

6) LOTC d. 11) godthedog - Use the fucking shift button. Oh, know-it-all cunt too. Fuck you.

 

Yay, I'm done. See ya in 2010. If God is willing, the owner will be Prince Paul by then.

 

xoxo,

Princess Leelee.

[Art Sandusky 0]

I had no idea who that was until the end! What a twist!

[Lt. Al Giardello 0]

It astounds me that EHME still isn't banned here. Hey, idiots, he's been doing the same awful gimmick for years and it's never been funny.

 

[bob_barron 0]

Leena's vote shouldn't count.*

 

 

*I'm only saying that b/c she voted for Smues