100 Posts of Solitude

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

The grammar thing was kind of a joke.

[chaosrage 0]

Megan Fox is a joke I'm not in on. She looks good, but being FHM's #1 was absurd.

Hayden Panettiere was intentionally excluded. Overrated.

Jessica Biel is nothing special.

 

My tournament is based solely on how physically attractive they are—not their personalities nor their sexual abilities.

 

Dude, you had Paris Hilton on your list. If you think Paris is better than this...

 

[chaosrage 0]

Or this...

 

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Ok, post 77 will be about any topic that you choose, DrVenkman PhD.

 

Those girls are certainly attractive. Paris Hilton is also attractive.

 

Any tournament nominees? Get them in before the next post.

 

DANNY GOKEY IS GONE!!!!!!!!!

 

71. This post is a thread-starter that demonstrates why I wanted to rename the Current Events folder to World. It's not current and it's not about politics, but it's the correct folder for it.

 

Topic Title: In the year 2020

Topic Description: What things will no longer exist?

 

Post: I predict that the following things will not exist (except as historical things) in the United States in the year 2020 CE:

 

* Paper newspapers. They'll be online and on Kindle-like devices.

* Paper books. Carrying a paper book around in 2020 will be like carrying a cassette player around in 2009.

* CDs/Blu-ray discs. We don't need storage media. You'll save videos on your computer/TV (same thing?).

* Cable TV packages. You'll buy the specific channels that you want.

* Landline phones. Obsoleted by cell phones.

* Wristwatches. Obsoleted by cell phones.

* Arcades. So 1980s.

* Gasoline-powered vehicles. Because Mr. President is serious about climate change.

* Amputees. Any lost body parts will be regenerated.

* 3-D glasses. We'll have 3-D without that blue and red stuff.

* Many MLB, NBA, and NHL teams.

* The belief that life exists only on Earth.

 

What else?

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

Amputees. Any lost body parts will be regenerated.

Many MLB, NBA, and NHL teams.

 

 

False.

 

 

[Bolotov Teh Mear 0]

Paris Hilton is also attractive.

 

No.

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

#77 - I pose to you the same assignment a Mr. Kevin Arnold was given on The Wonder Years: Write your own obituary. Maybe we can even have a thread where everyone gives it a shot!

[Live Free or Battlenuts 0]

God I wanna cum on that little cheerleaders lips....

 

I'd paint a clown face on that and take her to the circus.

 

And Paris Hilton is so epically average. Small tits, small ass, huge feet and a face that a thirteen year old jewish girl going through her akward phase would be depressed to have. I've seen more attractive women while going out to get my newspaper. She's the prime example of what I like to call the "ugly pretty girl". You strip her down of all the fake and you're left with someone who barely passes as attractive. How someone that mediocre could develop such a sense of grandeur is amazing.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

I like the obituary idea.

 

72. Welcome to TSM USERNAME TOURNAMENT 2009! In this series, I will examine names and their powerful influence on people. I am not evaluating the posters nor the quality of their posts. It's about the names—creativity, affect, humor, and interest. The tournament's regional names are an INSIDE JOKE LOL! There's a limit of one name per registered account. Gimmicks were considered on a case-by-case basis. Posters must have at least one post in order to be eligible.

 

Xena Asomugha region

1. The Czech Republic vs. 8. SuperDestroyerMarkTwain. There's a large difference between 'Scotsman' and 'The Czech Republic.' This daring Polish boy decided to claim not that he is from The Czech Republic but that he is The Czech Republic. Such a name lets us know that he has an unorthodox way of looking at the world. SuperDestroyerMarkTwain makes me envision a maniacal, robotic Mark Twain zombie juggernaut. This opening matchup is great, but I have to choose The Czech Republic because of the theoretical possibilities to which such a name opens my mind.

4. zhangmeijie vs. 5. Noah Fentz. Being a Chinese girl is a good way to get attention on a forum that consists mostly of Western men. 'Noah Fentz' is the type of name that Bart would ask for at Moe's. What tips the scale toward Noah is the fact that some posters didn't get that it is a homonym for "no offense." How do you not instantly see it?

3. Hotbutter Spoontoaster vs. 6. XxMariaSantosxX. 'Hotbutter Spoontoaster' is such a memorable name that it became a template for similar names. XxMariaSantosxX represents the power that a potentially attractive female holds over a forum that is filled with delusional and histrionic young men. I'm going with HBST for the name as a name.

2. Ted the Poster vs. 7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!. Since Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere! inspired this tournament's creation, he must be considered the most dangerous 7 seed of all-time. Of course the name is brilliant for the imagery it creates, but you also have to credit his usage of "outta," "f'n," and the exclamation point to seal the deal. Ted the Poster reminds me of Ted from Suikoden. He is a plain guy with an ordinary name who just happens to be extraordinarily powerful. I'd expect similar characteristics from Ted the Poster.

 

My Pal, Neifi Perez. region

1. kkktookmybabyaway vs. 8. Lion in a Coma. kkktookmybabyaway probably is the greatest disjunction between what you would expect a poster to be and what the poster actually is. (It seems like a fearless black guy but turns out to be an extremely conservative white guy.) Nonetheless, the name certainly gets one's attention. Lion in a Coma is a cute little pun. There's not much else to say about it.

4. Duncan Eternia vs. 5. The Ohtani of Time. These posters are not very well known, but they have interesting names. Duncan Eternia... now there is the name of a great king. I imagine that throughout his kingdom, you can find the royal crest: an infinity symbol. In mottos, rhetoric, and even in daily speech, his name would affect the way that people think about the world. There would be a lot of emphasis on persistence, endurance, spiritual life, and other everlasting concepts. The Ohtani of Time is a mysterious-sounding name. 'Ohtani' appears to be a Japanese word that means 'large valley.' I could see this name as being a sequel to The Ocarina of Time. I'm more fascinated by the kingdom than the valley, however.

3. objet petit a vs. 6. johnson316cane. 'objet petit a' is exactly the kind of intellectual, French name that you'd expect from this poster. 'johnson316cane' is a cult classic. It could be so many different things. One possibility that I mentioned before was Dwayne Johnson + Austin 3:16 + misspelled Kane. Another possibility is that it's a fourfold name: John the Baptist + Son of God + John 3:16 + misspelled Cain! I really would like to hear from him. Summon him to this thread. It's difficult to choose, but I'll take the intellectual name.

2. Cowboy13012 vs. 7. Archibald Mutombo. Cowboy13012 is better known as 'Cowboy Numbers.' 13012 looks like a zip code, but it isn't. Did Czech ever threaten him into revealing what the numbers mean? We must admit that being referred to as 'Cowboy Numbers' made him more interesting than being 'Cowboy13012.' Archibald Mutombo sounds like Dikembe had a son with British royalty and now Archibald is in line for the crown. Sounds like a good comedy film. I'm keeping Archibald for another round in order to detail his adventures.

 

kaplanir region

1. Hunter's Torn Quad vs. 8. Oneironaut. Hunter's Torn Quad inspired the Czech parody 'Soriano's Torn Quad' and the self-parody 'Cena's Torn Pec.' Obviously, it's a template name, like Hotbutter Spoontoaster. 'Oneironaut' is a name that many posters might skip over, but I happen to know that 'oneiro' means 'dream.' On one level, it can essentially mean 'dreamboat,' and I find this interpretation humorous. On another level, though, it makes me have fantastic visions of entering into another person's dream and exploring it—like in the game Alundra but with a scientific element to it. I like this name a lot.

4. Sonic Reducer vs. 5. Homeless Guy Spare Some Change. 'Sonic Reducer' sounds like the name of a band. (Obviously, it must be compared to Sonic Youth.) 'Reducer' is an interesting noun, though. Homeless Guy Spare Some Change is just a bizarre name to use on a forum. Contrast it with Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!. It could perhaps be improved with some punctuation or slight alterations. Thus, I'll take Sonic Reducer.

3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex vs. 6. Hayabusa Moleman. 'Burning Pirate Ship Sex' seems like a name that was intentionally created for the purpose of being an interesting name, but indeed it is. Sex on a burning pirate ship... now there's an image. When I think of Hayabusa Moleman, I imagine Hans Moleman breaking his neck while attempting a springboard moonsault. Since it's Hans Moleman, it's a very funny concept. I'm partial to these kinds of names, but I see potential in the epic tales of burning pirate ship sex.

2. MILPOOL__/ vs. 7. The REAL W.C.W. The key to 'MILPOOL__/' is not quite the name itself but the fact that it is written the way that Milhouse signed Bart's cast. Highly creative. The REAL W.C.W. (hello) was a gimmick of course, but the gimmick was the name. I am amused by that kind of silliness. Look at this MySpace page! But, this contest isn't about how well you can pull off a gimmick.

 

rullmar region

1. alfdogg vs. 8. JupiterMayo. If your name is alfdogg, you're inviting a referendum on ALF. ALF is an appealing absurdity with a bunch of weird douchebags puppeteering it. 'JupiterMayo' makes me think of a combination of the planet Jupiter and O.J. Mayo. It's a basketball-playing planet... but it's simply terrifying, like the feeling of going outside and seeing a gigantic fucking planet taking up the whole sky. Haunting image.

4. Crimson G vs. 5. Dumb Fuck. I'm setting aside Crimson G's posting abilities, honestly. What's interesting about his name is the unexpectedness of 'G' after 'Crimson.' You see the color first and expect a tangible thing next, but no, it's a letter of the alphabet! Or is it a musical note? Mysterious. Intriguing. 'Dumb Fuck' is the most honest name in the history of this forum and caused me to laugh out loud. He can't win, though.

3. Stunt Granny vs. 6. A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS. 'Stunt Granny' sounds like another awful film idea. It's a grandmother who skateboards, or something. Of course there is porn interpretation as well, but I don't care to think about that idea. 'A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS' is similar to the greatness of 'Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!.' When you see that name, you can't help but be intrigued.

2. Mr. S£im Citrus vs. 7. The 7 Word Bandit. Mr. S£im Citrus gets a bonus for using the symbol for British pounds as an 'l.' It's memorable. Oddly, I can't picture this name very well. How appropriate that The 7 Word Bandit is a 7 seed. The name primes you for what kind of post to expect, making it quite satisfying to see its actualization. I like the choice of 'bandit' as well. It makes him a romantic figure.

 

BRACKET

[Live Free or Battlenuts 0]

No love for Battlenuts!? Simple, effective, has a nice ring to it. If they ever make some toy out of mexican jumping beans painted to look like ninja's, I'm getting a check.

 

And plus it's ironic too because I hate conflict. johnson316cane get's in this bitch and I can't even have a bracket named after me. Unbelievable! I'm far less excited about the last 28 posts then I was....

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

You should have nominated 'Battlenuts,' then. I would have put it in.

 

I don't see why it's an 'OMG moment' for me to say that I prefer the girl in the middle by a small degree of magnitude.

 

73. The tournament continues. SWEET SIXTEEN.

 

Xena Asomugha region

1. The Czech Republic vs. 5. Noah Fentz. Czech enjoys football and ice hockey, is mostly a non-believer in religion, and was once with a girl named Slovakia. But what's up with the totally weird way that he spells his name? We'll have to look into it next time. 'Noah Fentz' can't win simply by being a homonym. If it were his real name, and he gave me a detailed description of his family's emigration from Germany, then it would be a different story.

3. Hotbutter Spoontoaster vs. 7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!. I did a search and saw that Israeli Mixed Wrestling wrote, "'Ben-Jarvis Green-Ellis' has the cadence of a Hotbutter Spoontoaster account." Interesting note, but, yeah, it was one of Leena's names and was clearly inspired by the real BenJarvus Green-Ellis. I don't think that "Hardstreets Duckcouch" can be a coincidence, though. I hadn't noticed that objet petit a is as big of a HBST fan as I am. Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!, meanwhile, was championed by Czech. This matchup is not just an instant classic but also a proxy war between two of my favorite posters! How can I choose? I'm in a real-life Kobayashi Maru no-win scenario here. I think that what this choice really comes down to—and why it is the greatest matchup that we will ever see in this tournament—is that it questions which art form you prefer. Hotbutter Spoontoaster appeals to those who prefer music whereas Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere! represents the visual arts. And you guys know me... I've always strongly advocated using Graphics & Testing Grounds as a forum for more serious graphical discussion. Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere! advances and Czech's nightmares are about to become reality.

 

My Pal, Neifi Perez. region

1. kkktookmybabyaway vs. 4. Duncan Eternia. 'kkktookmybabyaway' is a name that represents human evils and misconceptions. There are no such things in the Holy Kingdom of Eternia, Crown of Justice, Heaven on Earth, because Shining King Duncan continues its eternal tradition of doing all things harmoniously with nature. The noble Eternian people understand the type of love that is known as 'agapē.'

3. objet petit a vs. 7. Archibald Mutombo. "My son," Dikembe warmly said, "God blessed me with the ability to help the Congolese people, yet you reject my offer to pay for you to be educated at the world's finest institutions. Why?" Archibald replied, "Father, I must stay in London. Only with the powers of being king can I fulfill my desires." Dikembe erupted, "Vous êtes un imbécile naïf. One day, you will understand that your desires are unattainable."

 

kaplanir region

8. Oneironaut vs. 4. Sonic Reducer. I keep thinking about the space-jump scene in Star Trek. That's what I picture an oneironaut as being. Oneironauts dive into your dreams and are like warriors of science. They kick ass and sort out the problems in your mind. Sonic Reducer actually sounds like a sci-fi gadget. How do the oneironauts enter your dreams? They use the sonic reducer, of course.

3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex vs. 2. MILPOOL__/. It's no secret that you'll get my attention with the romantic notion of swashbuckling pirates (who are actually privateers). I imagine the heartwarming story of a Somali woman who bravely joins her husband on a mission. While pursuing an Italian toxic-waste dumper along the Somali coastline, an American ship appears and shoots at the Somali mothership, setting it ablaze. As the ship races back to the safety of Eyl in a moment of incredible chaos and excitement, hubby and wife add to the thrill by having BURNING PIRATE SHIP SEX! As for MILPOOL__/, it's a good name, but it's obviously not original. You can't win by copying other people.

 

rullmar region

8. JupiterMayo vs. 4. Crimson G. JupiterMayo continues to terrorize the sky and refuse to give out its cell phone number (for good reasons). When I think of Crimson G, I'm undoubtedly influenced by that poem from Chrono Cross—the one with the line, "A lone, crimson tear falls to the sea." objet petit a, I want to hear your expert literary opinion. Is that poem good, bad, pretentious, or what? The full poem, for your convenience:

Insanity leads to chaos, Then to solitude. The fruitless effort of adding meaning to what is meaningless. A lone, crimson tear falls to the sea... The echo of the remaining star cries out in the infinite vacuum. The least I can do is send my distant prayers over the wind of time, setting sail on dreams...

6. A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS vs. 7. The 7 Word Bandit. After some additional reflection, I think all capital letters is a really important aspect of A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS's name. It's as vital as the exclamation point is in 'Shelton Benjamin outta f'in nowhere!.' 'The 7 Word Bandit' is simply a description of what to expect from the gimmick's post content. On its own, it's a curiosity but not a particularly great name as a name.

 

BRACKET

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

* Paper books. Carrying a paper book around in 2020 will be like carrying a cassette player around in 2009.

 

Nope.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Nope.

-1

 

I feel that you're reiterating your personal preference for the "experience" of holding/writing in a paper book rather than making an objective prediction about when and whether e-books will ultimately replace paper. Why are you insulting me with this "I don't need to explain myself because I'm obviously right" tone? You're emulating Brody and Molotov? The Bulb isn't who I thought he was. He has sided with elitism instead of exchange of ideas.

 

Three sentences would do. You could say, "2020 is likely too early to completely switch to e-books. The technology needs further improvements in visual clarity, writability, wireless transferability, and general ease of use. Logistically, it will take a long time to make every book available, and the change will be resisted by the anti-technology subculture as well as Barnes & Noble."

 

I would reply, "Excellent post; I agree that 2020 is probably too early. But, my greater goal in that post was to raise the idea that paper books may become a thing of the past in the not-so-distant future rather than predict precisely when it will happen."

 

74. The Elite Eight. The regional championships.

 

1. The Czech Republic vs. 7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere!. The lover and the beloved. It's like the Song of Solomon. I expected Czech to start writing sentences such as "your lips are like scarlet thread" after Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere!'s posts. (But, in turn, Czech's legs are like pillars of marble set on sockets of fine gold.) Anyway, Wikipedia's page dedicated to the name of the Czech Republic explains (vaguely) that we use a 'z' in 'Czech' because it's taken from the Polish 'Czeska'. What is that blatant Polish homerism, Danny? You are out of order!

 

XENA ASOMUGHA REGIONAL CHAMPION

SHELTON BENJAMIN OUTTA F'N NOWHERE!

 

4. Duncan Eternia vs. 3. objet petit a.

 

Nope.

 

MY PAL, NEIFI PEREZ. REGIONAL CHAMPION

DUNCAN ETERNIA

 

8. Oneironaut vs. 3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex. I have to admit that "Oneironaut" strongly resembles the name "Ortonsault" and may be subconsciously influencing me. We know that I play to win, and I may be projecting myself into Oneironaut. Burning Pirate Ship Sex complements the name nicely with his choice of avatar. The problem is that AndrewisyourHero didn't come up with this phrase (Milky did), nor was it his idea to use it as a username (it was mellow's idea). But, you know, when I read Wikipedia, I'm not concerned with how many people contributed. My only interest is that the end result is a high-quality article—regardless of whether one person or 100 people create it.

 

KAPLANIR REGIONAL CHAMPION

BURNING PIRATE SHIP SEX

 

4. Crimson G vs. 6. A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS. I must say that I find this region to be fairly weak overall. Crimson is a pleasant word, but it's not unusual to see it in this context (e.g., Crimson Tide). And then you're left with 'G.' And so, all the excitement is really just about what the G means. I neglected to mention earlier that there really is a place called Abdullah the Butcher House of Ribs & Chinese Food in Atlanta. That place must serve the unhealthiest shit imaginable. It's incredible that Abdullah is not only still wrestling but is still alive at age 68, considering that he weighs 350–400 lb. I think that it would be much better if this name were a TSM original absurdity, but, like Kris Allen, this poster "made it his own."

 

RULLMAR REGIONAL CHAMPION

A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS

 

RYECHNAIASOBAKA FINAL FOUR

7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere!

vs.

4. Duncan Eternia

 

3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex

vs.

6. A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

Nope.

-1

 

I feel that you're reiterating your personal preference for the "experience" of holding/writing in a paper book rather than making an objective prediction about when and whether e-books will ultimately replace paper. Why are you insulting me with this "I don't need to explain myself because I'm obviously right" tone? You're emulating Brody and Molotov? The Bulb isn't who I thought he was. He has sided with elitism instead of exchange of ideas.

 

Three sentences would do. You could say, "2020 is likely too early to completely switch to e-books. The technology needs further improvements in visual clarity, writability, wireless transferability, and general ease of use. Logistically, it will take a long time to make every book available, and the change will be resisted by the anti-technology subculture as well as Barnes & Noble."

 

I would reply, "Excellent post; I agree that 2020 is probably too early. But, my greater goal in that post was to raise the idea that paper books may become a thing of the past in the not-so-distant future rather than predict precisely when it will happen."

 

I don't think paper books are ever going to become a thing of the past. No matter how much the technology improves, no e-book reader thing will ever be able to fully capture or replicate all the various inherent qualities that make reading actual books a unique experience. You can't give a dogeared e-book to your friends or write notes in its margins. You can't line nice mahogany shelves with e-books. Call me a book fetishist or part of "the anti-technology subculture" or whatever, but I simply don't see paper books ever become obsolete.

[LuckyLopez 0]

And comparing the situation to cassettes/CDs is just silly and pointless. Vinyl, 8 tracks, cassettes, CDs, MP3s... they all provide the same function. The ability to play music. The advancements in technology have made the music clearer and the methods smaller or more convenient. CDs replaced cassettes because they were a superior product that presented a better sound and objective advantages in the quality and flexibility. As far as MP3s work over CDs its because of storage issues, cost, the ability to pick and choose, and other advantages it has.

 

What is the advantage that ebooks have over printed books? That's the real question and the reason they'll replace books if it happens. Will the cost make the difference? Printing companies will obviously not push this as opposed to the CD/cassette issue where the recording companies are the same people making money off the new format and actually charge MORE for the new format. What are the advantages that the technology will provide that will allow it to replace a form that has existed in the same form for millennia?

 

Add in that while cassettes may be pretty uncommon these days that's because of the flaw of the particular format. Vinyls remain popular enough amongst many music fans. The format appeals to many fans for various reasons. I find it hard to imagine that the same thing won't happen for generations after the time when/if ebooks become the norm. There will still be a significant number of collectors and great fans of literature who are wiling to spend time and money to build impressive libraries of classics, first editions, and examples of a once popular form that is fading away.

 

It seems more than a little disingenuous of you to insult and scold a poster for not offering a detailed response when you yourself failed to offer anything resembling a sophisticated or well thought out argument for it in the first case. "Elitism" and other such phrases are getting tossed around a lot in this thread yet calling a poster "elitist" for offering a 1 line rebuttal to your 1 line comment (neither with any explanation or reasoning) seems about as poor a use of these terms as I've seen. If anything YOU come off as the poster who believes his opinion needs no explanation and that his fellow posters should make more effort than you.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

I don't think paper books are ever going to become a thing of the past. No matter how much the technology improves, no e-book reader thing will ever be able to fully capture or replicate all the various inherent qualities that make reading actual books a unique experience. You can't give a dogeared e-book to your friends or write notes in its margins. You can't line nice mahogany shelves with e-books. Call me a book fetishist or part of "the anti-technology subculture" or whatever, but I simply don't see paper books ever become obsolete.

There's the classy objet petit a that I know. I respect your view. I suppose that you can't physically give an e-book, much like you can't give an mp3. But, iTunes Gifts allows you to go so far as to give a printed gift that indicates the particular songs that you're giving the recipient, and so I believe that people will still buy e-books as gifts. Kindle already allows you to annotate your e-books. I believe that the technology could be improved further, though. For example, I envision book signings of the future involving the author's using a digital pen to sign a page in your e-book. It would be uniquely saved and stored, and you could sell your unique e-book without selling your e-book reader. Yes, e-books do not take up shelf space. I don't think that that aspect is enough to keep it from going mainstream. Some of us prefer it that way.

 

"The anti-technology subculture" is a phrase from my cyberpunk view of the future. The fusion of technology and lifestyle will continue, and some people will rebel against this fusion. And I think that a major development will be the usage of e-paper to replace paper.

 

 

Color. Flexibility. Rollability. I see e-paper replacing standard billboards, ads, film posters, food packaging, tickets... everything it can. It's just a matter of when the e-paper reaches the right combination of technological development and low price.

 

What is the advantage that ebooks have over printed books? That's the real question and the reason they'll replace books if it happens. Will the cost make the difference? Printing companies will obviously not push this as opposed to the CD/cassette issue where the recording companies are the same people making money off the new format and actually charge MORE for the new format. What are the advantages that the technology will provide that will allow it to replace a form that has existed in the same form for millennia?

For e-books specifically, there are many advantages (although e-paper vs. paper may be the real key, as mentioned above). You have your entire library in your hand. You get e-books instantly instead of waiting for shipping or going to the store. Book prices are usually cheaper. Your arms don't get tired while holding it. You can search an e-book to find the passage you want. You can easily correct errors in e-books and keep them current. It can read the text aloud to you. You can increase the text size. You can look up words in the dictionary. You can play background music. You don't have to pack a bunch of heavy boxes if you move and you can't lose them in a fire.

 

I think that one of the main non-technological issues is that people wouldn't have their current library on their e-book reader. Perhaps Amazon could temporarily offer a trade-in of paper books for the typical used book prices that you'd get at Half Price Books AND then let users download those books for free in order to encourage more switching over. Just an idea, maybe too sweet for the customer. The price of the Kindle is also too high right now (but it's doing well anyway^[1][2]).

 

Add in that while cassettes may be pretty uncommon these days that's because of the flaw of the particular format. Vinyls remain popular enough amongst many music fans. The format appeals to many fans for various reasons. I find it hard to imagine that the same thing won't happen for generations after the time when/if ebooks become the norm. There will still be a significant number of collectors and great fans of literature who are wiling to spend time and money to build impressive libraries of classics, first editions, and examples of a once popular form that is fading away.

I'm not saying that books will disappear. I agree with this entire paragraph. Vinyl is still useful to DJs. Books will be treasured historical items with a niche market. The point is that records and cassettes aren't the mainstream audio media anymore. My view is that e-book readers (combined with Internet and cell phones) will eventually replace printed paper books/newspapers/magazines as the mainstream way of reading.

 

It seems more than a little disingenuous of you to insult and scold a poster for not offering a detailed response when you yourself failed to offer anything resembling a sophisticated or well thought out argument for it in the first case. "Elitism" and other such phrases are getting tossed around a lot in this thread yet calling a poster "elitist" for offering a 1 line rebuttal to your 1 line comment (neither with any explanation or reasoning) seems about as poor a use of these terms as I've seen. If anything YOU come off as the poster who believes his opinion needs no explanation and that his fellow posters should make more effort than you.

I've praised objet petit a to the point of calling him the best poster at TSM, and I felt like he was giving me a 'fuck you' in return. This paragraph doesn't make sense. My goal in that particular post wasn't to write a detailed essay about why e-books may replace paper books. I was introducing a topic about the future. I could have given zero examples, but I made the effort to come up with twelve for the purpose of generating potential discussion points. I invited others to agree or disagree with those twelve and/or add more examples for us to discuss. The detailed discussion comes in the subsequent posts. Your last sentence is unbelievable.

 

75. The RyechnaiaSobaka Final Four.

 

7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! vs. 4. Duncan Eternia. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! needs to be made into a Lonely Island skit. You're about to kiss your girlfriend when BOOM, double clothesline from Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! You lie down to sleep when CRASH, moonsault from Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! You're painting on a ladder when SNAP, fisherman's suplex from Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! Five stars. 'Duncan Eternia' is a cool name, but perhaps I'm letting my imagination and spiritual interest take over too much. Again, I've possibly projected too much of myself into this name. I've taken the Macbeth interpretation of Duncan. It could be a guy who really likes Tim Duncan, or something.

 

CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENDER #1

Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere!

 

3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex vs. 6. A.BUTCHER'S HOUSE OF RIBS. This one comes down to originality. A Google search shows that the phrase 'Burning Pirate Ship Sex,' and even just 'Pirate Ship Sex,' is not used beyond this forum. This usage may be the first utterance in history:

She's like "Oh god, I know, sometimes you just have to grab a dick and just stick it in you, fuck the consequences. It feels so dirty and wrong."

She's right. That burning pirate ship sex, that's the best kind.

Conversely, 'Abdullah the Butcher House of Ribs & Chinese Food' is rather well-known. It's funny, but I've said before that you can't win by copying. You have to create something new or completely revolutionize the way an existing phrase can be thought of. 'Burning Pirate Ship Sex' is TSM's gift to language.

 

CHAMPIONSHIP CONTENDER #2

Burning Pirate Ship Sex

 

FINAL BATTLE

 

7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! vs. 3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex

 

Hey TSM, I would like to hear which name you think should win!

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH! 0]

There's the classy objet petit a that I know. I respect your view. I suppose that you can't physically give an e-book, much like you can't give an mp3. But, iTunes Gifts allows you to go so far as to give a printed gift that indicates the particular songs that you're giving the recipient, and so I believe that people will still buy e-books as gifts.

 

Giving someone a book is, to me, a much more personal gesture than buying a CD for someone. This is especially true when you're giving books to, like, your girlfriend or kid or student or whatever. Like, when I was little my mom gave me a bunch of old, beat up Dr. Seuss books that she had when she was a kid. Similarly, there have been more than a few times when I've gone to a professor asking about secondary reading for a paper and they've pulled a book off their shelves and lent it to me to peruse. I don't see how e-books could ever replicate this kind of stuff.

 

Listen, I'd love to some day have a searchable archive of every book I own stored on a computer somewhere, but even if that becomes possible I'm still going to want to keep my physical library because I'm a big fag who attaches sentimental value to bound volumes of paper.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

I don't mean to come across as an android from the future or anything. You're a bibliophile. It's cool. But, likewise, I'm sure that there are people who are in love with the notion of the paperboy who throws a newspaper to the front door, the dog who brings it inside for the owner, and the pleasure of reading a big ol' newspaper at the table in the morning (and then washing the ink off the hands afterward). Blogs, websites, and e-readers cannot replicate this experience. Nonetheless, paper newspapers are dying because the economics failed when other technologies evolved, and I think that the same thing will happen to printed books. But, libraries will always be around.

 

76. TSM Username Tournament Championship.

 

7. Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! vs. 3. Burning Pirate Ship Sex. The potential God of TSM vs. the phrase of TSM's God-complex. No one offered an opinion on which name should be the champion. I think that they are both great names. I think that 'Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere!' appeals to our hunting instincts. Humans have evolved to outlast their prey. We can't outrun them, but eventually they get so tired that they don't have the energy to flee, and then we close in for the kill. But imagine a hunter who appears outta f'n nowhere and slays a massive beast before it knows what happened. He's a ninja, he's a spy, he's a superhero. He's the coolest motherfucker you've ever seen. But, look at each element 'Burning Pirate Ship Sex.' Everything about that name is human. Control over fire is one of the most important events in human history. Pirates have been called enemies of all of humanity. Ships have played a key role in the spread of humans and culture. Sex is (currently) necessary for the continuation of humanity. As a whole, the phrase seems to mean reckless, exciting, savage sex. How do we distinguish these two names? Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! is the human dream, and Burning Pirate Ship Sex is the human reality. We cannot twist reality into what we dream it to be. We must take the dreams and turn them into reality. Also, no repeat winners.

 

THE WINNER

Burning Pirate Ship Sex

 

So, there's my last tournament writeup. Maybe someone will nostalgically remember it in January 2010 when 75% of the Poster Tourney participants don't explain their choices at all. The final draft (with full explanations this time) will be in post 98.

 

The next post will DrVenkman's suggestion/fantasy (just kidding): my obituary. Additional post suggestions are welcome.

[GIYGAS 0]

... g..o ... b..a..c..k ...

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

#77 - I pose to you the same assignment a Mr. Kevin Arnold was given on The Wonder Years: Write your own obituary. Maybe we can even have a thread where everyone gives it a shot!

77.

In A.D. 2101, my cyberbrain will cease uploading data to the Internet, indicating that my physical body has died. A bot will update my Wikipedia entry to the following.

 

Xavier T. Cromartie (29 March 1983–2 October 2101) was a futurologist, spiritual adviser, philosopher, and social reformer. He is best known for his contributions to the concept of deistic evolution and for popularizing the fusion of science and spirituality.

 

Cromartie was born in St. Paul, South Canada during the time when the United States was still a thriving country. He spent most of his early life studying games, science, philosophy, and humanity. In 2009, he moved to Phoenix, Latin States of America (still within the United States at the time) in order to further his self-actualization. He began to take a more specific interest in futurology at this time.

 

Cromartie, a left-libertarian, was well-prepared for the dissolution of the United States. His survivalist and nutritional knowledge made him a respected local figure, particularly among his Somali friends in Glendale. In his 30s and 40s, Cromartie fathered three children to three different mothers. He had two daughters (Villanova Cromartie and Malia Ali) and one son (Xavier Cromartie II).

 

Although Cromartie was satisfied with the high-tech, low-government lifestyle, he became increasingly dissatisfied with the widespread anti-spiritual views of humanity. He e-published a collection of works that explained the meaning of particular actions and the natural goals of advanced life. The works were surprisingly well-received and gained widespread acceptance.

 

In his later years, Cromartie moved to Mogadishu in order to assist with Somali education. Cromartie's physical body died at the age of 118 after he drank from a public water fountain that had become contaminated with Ethiopian nano-warbots. Cromartie's reincarnated form has not yet been identified.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now (this feature will be in every remaining post):

Katrina Darrell.

 

Happy birthday, Old Man Venkman.

 

78. I've been thinking about the definition of 'artist.' I would say that an artist is someone who uses his/her talent to create a work that appeals to the senses. Sight and hearing are usually the senses to which artists appeal. Certainly musicians, painters, and actors are artists. Is a chef an artist? I would say yes. Arranging the food provides the element of vision, and combining and preparing the food provides the elements of taste and olfaction. Chefs who have talent should be considered artists.

 

The main point that I want to get to is that there is one more sense within the 'big five' senses... touch. What do we call someone who has the talent to please our sense of touch? Prostitute. Whore. They are scorned. I think that such people should be praised for their talent and referred to as performers of the touch arts.

 

Also, think about alien species. I wonder if intelligent fish-like beings have things like electroception arts.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Hilary Rhoda.

 

79. Check your periodic table for number 79. It's GOLD. I am quite interested in acquiring a large amount of gold and silver.

 

Pretend that the year is 1970, and you have US$10,000. You can put that money in savings, buy silver, or buy gold. How's that money in 2009? First, let's look at the inflation price. US$10,000 in 1970 is equivalent to US$54,858.61 (2008 dollars).

 

With a typical bank account with a monthly 1.5% interest rate, that US$10,000 from 1970 would now be only US$17,943.35. With inflation, you've lost money. You have only 32.7% of your original value.

 

If you bought silver at US$1.64 per oz, that US$10,000 from 1970 would now be US$88,414.63. You have 161% of your original value.

 

If you bought gold at US$35 per oz, that US$10,000 from 1970 would now be US$272,500.00. You have 497% of your original value.

 

So fuck savings accounts. I want gold.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Katrina Halili.

 

80. New mini-series of posts: TSM Memories. Five of my favorite memories from the old TSM days.

 

5. TSMass. As in, TSMassachusetts. I already explained what TSMass was on TSMpedia:

 

TSMass is a clique that consists mostly of New England posters in the Sports folder. The group rose to prominence when the Patriots went 16-0. This feat happened in the same season that the Red Sox won another World Series and the Celtics acquired Kevin Garnett. Posters from outside of the Boston area (particularly good old Midwestern boy Czech Republic) took exception to the attitude of Boston fans and ESPN that they have a divine right (thanks to the Catholic God) to sports championships.

 

TSMass posters

 

* Boon

* Cartman

* HarleyQuinn

* JangoFett4Hire

* KingPK

* Ortonsault

Basically, they annoyed Czech, and I enjoyed reading his bitching about it. I figured my credential as a Minnesota fan of the Patriots' Randy Moss was enough to qualify me for inclusion in the "clique." It was, to me, a satirical clique. Eli Manning ruined all of the fun on 3 February 2008 before it really got started. Dick!

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Moon Bloodgood.

 

81. TSM Memories.

 

4. "I banned Choken One." Who knew that you could get a 372-post thread out of that topic? Czechian absurdity at its very best.

 

Well fuck this place and its pill-popping dumbshit owner, then.

Perhaps the first quote that comes to mind when I think of Czech.

 

Matt Young revealed that Czech let Leena post with Czech's account. Yet I'm the one banned from The Real TSM, despite never sharing my account! Czech did a good Leena impression thereafter. Dandy's "newsbite" kept the thread going strong. Whatta thread!

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Byron's FUCK YOU girl.

 

82. TSM Memories.

 

3. WWE Fantasy. Back when it was on WWE.com! I might have been a lurker forever if it weren't for this game. I loved when you could just pencil in Chris Masters for huge points every week. I hated when I missed out on being the overall #1 because of a few tiny bullshit things. It kept me interested in wrestling for a few extra months.

 

 

Poor fazzle would have crushed the competition if not for me. I would like to continue going all-out to win against TSMers. You play to win or you don't play at all.

[TheFranchise 0]

3. WWE Fantasy. Back when it was on WWE.com!

 

Bastard.

 

Poor fazzle would have crushed the competition if not for me. I would like to continue going all-out to win against TSMers. You play to win or you don't play at all.

 

You know, Fazzle would the first season of Fantasy on TSM. He's good at this, you know.

[Dear Leelee 0]

Matt Young revealed that Czech let Leena post with Czech's account. Yet I'm the one banned from The Real TSM, despite never sharing my account! Czech did a good Leena impression thereafter. Dandy's "newsbite" kept the thread going strong. Whatta thread!

That was a half-ass lie which I didn't even think would work on Sir Gullible Young. But, as always, I underestimate the quality of forums.thesmartmarks.com.

 

Is there anything you'd like me to reply about here.

[King Cucaracha 0]

*gives Leena attention*

 

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Vanessa Minnillo.

 

Bastard.

My comment was not meant to be offensive.

 

That was a half-ass lie which I didn't even think would work on Sir Gullible Young.

 

Is there anything you'd like me to reply about here.

Well then, I apologize to Czech. Why do you lie to your friends?

 

I would be interested in hearing (1) how much you hate the Girl of the Now feature, (2) TSM usernames that you like, and (3) any comments on futurology, although it doesn't seem like something that you're interested in.

 

83. TSM Memories.

 

2. "Somali pirates." My initial curiosity and intrigue evolved into a broad, introspective obsession. I have learned much about politics, economics, ethics, history, justice, relationships, and life in general from my pals, the Somalis.

 

 

I do not want to see the privateering go on forever. I want them to return to fishing peacefully in their waters without having to worry about foreign ships. I want the TFG to disappear. I want all foreign entities to stay out of Somalia. I want Somalia to be secure and flourishing.

[Dear Leelee 0]

Well then, I apologize to Czech. Why do you lie to your friends?

It wasn't a complete lie. I've shared accounts with Czech here before, just not his main one.

 

And I didn't lie to Matt Young. I was just messing with him, like everyone else who posted here. I truthfully want to deep throat him.

 

I would be interested in hearing (1) how much you hate the Girl of the Now feature

Why would I hate it? I enjoy looking at attractive women. Ms. Bloodgood is quality. I will see her soon in the Terminator film.

 

You probably want me to hate on "Bikini Girl". I hear she bought herself a chest to show off for the 2-hour filler finale.

 

(2) TSM usernames that you like

alkeiper, hands down.

 

(3) any comments on futurology, although it doesn't seem like something that you're interested in.

Futurology is a large reason why the common man is stuck paying for stupid bullshit like "man-made global warming". So, yeah.