100 Posts of Solitude

[Dear Leelee 0]

Dead porn star Tiffani DiGivanni.

Fake, ridiculously large, veiny tits. No thx.

 

I've already established that my favorite current porn stars are Sunny Leone, Allyssa Hall, and Raven Riley. I would creampie all three and hope that all three got pregnant.

The first two are acceptable. I take umbrage to Raven Riley being called a porn star. She may be extremely attractive, but her and her buddy Liz Vicious need to stick to softcore if they insist on not even trying.

 

It has been a while since I last downloaded porn to my hard drive. It's archaic. I've never used torrents for porn. I use XVideos most of the time now. I'm aware of the other flash sites, but I don't like them as much. I check out a few of the others in addition to using Bing/Google video search when I'm looking for more of a particular girl.

I'd use the flash sites, but they're mostly shit. And I like good quality since my connection doesn't suck anymore.

 

Lately, I've been using my Hustler and Naughty America passes. PureTNA/Empornium for my amateur needs. JJ.am for filthy Anon ephebophilia.

 

lingerie/bikinis

As long as they're removed. I hate when girls keep something on. Especially when it's to hide a tattoo and/or fatness.

 

poolside sex

Fuck yes.

 

Another thing, I've never understood why shower sex is mostly for lesbians. Fucking in warm water is the best feeling.

 

deepthroats

That's fine. But, I loathe gagging. Especially when Marina Ann Hantzis hacks like a pint of phlegm.

 

office sluts

My favorite. So many fantasies there.

 

nuns

Any nun porn I see is with old ladies...

 

eating pussy (boring)

Agreed. This is why I'm not into lesbian porn. A lack of action.

 

I've also heard Leelee's lack of interest in sexual relations with a "dark" black male. Why does the color matter?

I'm just not attracted to males and females that are too dark. Same with most Azns. And we know about my irrational fear of black penis.

 

Somali babes are hotties.

I don't know if I've seen any. I love most Indians, though.

 

Tia Bella

Hate fake tits with 6 inches of cleavage. Yuck. This is the main reason I do not care for porn from 1980-2000. Awful tit jobs.

 

Now you can find basically anything you want online for free, if you know what you're doing—I assume that most people don't. I also know how impulsive, emotional, and pathetic men can be.

More than you know.

 

There's reason why any remotely attractive girl can make a good buck being a camwhore these days.

 

As for how porn DVD and such sell, that utterly confuses me. If you know about most of the girls today, you have to be online. But, I guess it's similar to Photoshop being a financial success... there will always be clueless dopes out there.

 

I will now rub to Ms. Alyssa Hall. xoxo.

[Matt Young 0]

Alien (5/10) is a dull cyberpunk/sci-fi film that is overrated because of the chestburster scene.

Aw, fuck you. I haven't felt strongly enough about much else you've posted recently to bother replying, but I will fite U poser over this motherfucking cinematic masterpiece. Almost as good as its sequel Aliens. Almost.

 

Alien was a boring piece of shit. Aliens was 100 times better.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Now:

Lauren Conrad. She's smarter than all of us.

 

Why do you find horror movies pointless? If you don't like them, you won't like Alien, because its single primary goal is to scare the audience shitless.

Exactly. I'm an INTJ; I care about ideas and analysis. I don't care about emotions. Cloverfield is a horror film that I did like.

 

Fake, ridiculously large, veiny tits. No thx.

I don't mind them. She and Tia Bella had very pretty faces. Bee Tee Dub, although Tiffani was totally hot, she does not sincerely deserve to be honored. Suicide is murder.

 

I take umbrage to Raven Riley being called a porn star.

That's what she is.

 

PureTNA/Empornium for my amateur needs. JJ.am for filthy Anon ephebophilia

There are rare amateur gems, but I usually think of 'amateur' as ugly people and/or bad camera angles. Anywhere between ages 18–39 is acceptable. Sunny is 28 now.

 

nuns

Any nun porn I see is with old ladies...

That's not what I'm interested in.

 

Somali babes are hotties.

I don't know if I've seen any. I love most Indians, though.

Indians and Persians are awesome.

 

I will now rub to Ms. Alyssa Hall. xoxo.

Hot. xoxo.

 

96. Last Graphics & Testing Grounds post: By the way, what's fashionable?

 

I'm going to a Jewish wedding tomorrow, and so I want to express something about fashion (another one of Leelee's favorite topics).

 

Style #1:

When did this stupid look become acceptable? Oh yeah, when every egomaniacal fuck thought he was the goddess's gift to Earth and tried to show how cool and trendy he is. I hate it. Wear a collar you slob.

 

Style #2:

You fucking trash. Jeans? Ridiculous. In some situations, a good suit and shirt without a tie works. (For example, Kiriyama Kazuo's uniform in Battle Royale.)

 

Style #3:

Vastly improved. But, it's still not the best.

 

Style 4: actual photo of the very successful Crimson G:

Now there's a proper gentleman. "A vest is best." I hope that the depression will force young men to stop looking like douchebags and dress like they have something useful to offer the world.

[Dear Leelee 0]

Style #1: I think that "style" is already dying. I'm not completely against it, but the T must be well-fitted with classic and matching colors.

 

#2: Trash. Shoot them.

 

#3: Too much contrast there.

 

#4: Nice. The joker hat handkerchief needs to go.

 

#3 and #4 have gross hair. It saddens me that long, unkempt hair is the "style" today.

[Live Free or Battlenuts 0]

Style is a stupid word. A word created to judge clothing beyond it's use, a direct result of useless excess. An entire business marketed towards thin people that exists as a result of the same mind-frame that's made obesity such a problem. People's claim of it representing individuality that would be a wonderful excuse if the entire world of style weren't based on trends and how many people are wearing the same thing.

 

The only purpose I can see in buying into the whole idea of 'style' is to give small gay men the feeling that they can judge anyone they want.

 

 

 

[DrVenkman PhD 0]

"Umbrage" is a word I love and need to work into more conversations.

[Dear Leelee 0]

Reviews are saying Land of the Lost is probably the worst movie of the year. Therefore, I can't wait to watch it.

Expectations were exceeded. Land of the Lost has defeated Miss March as the worst movie of 2009.

 

The main point of mocking of Land of the Lost is that I have no clue who the targeted audience was. Besides adult Will Ferrell fans, I guess. Which obviously need to be massacred. Millions of dollars will be lost due to pure ineptitude.

 

Also, I saw The Girlfriend Experience starring my porn heroine, Marina Hantzis. Sasha can really act! Too bad she's drank milk from females' assholes and will obviously die soon.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Girl of the Forever:

The Tiz. "Past her prime"? Whaaaaaat?

 

#3 and #4 have gross hair. It saddens me that long, unkempt hair is the "style" today.

I think that hair down to the eyebrow level looks good if one has the right hair for it. The problem is that it requires using a bunch of chemicals and sprays to keep it in place. Boo.

 

The only purpose I can see in buying into the whole idea of 'style' is to give small gay men the feeling that they can judge anyone they want.

 

Expectations were exceeded. Land of the Lost has defeated Miss March as the worst movie of 2009.

Yay! For my poor film viewing, I want to see a film that seems like something that I'd like but then disappoints terribly. I think that Battle Royale II or Alexander will work.

 

It shouldn't be a surprise that I'm not that into Sasha Grey.

 

97. Classic Threads.

While perusing the Land of Red X's the other day I realized that it's been a couple of years since any threads have been added to the Classics folder (outside of Al's ESPN mis-step). There has to have been some more recent winners that could better reflect the quality posting of our latter days.

 

I think it's time we update that area for some of the new posters. After all, one of TSM's most enduring qualities is its ability to ability to pat itself on the back when it's done well.

 

So go ahead and nominate some of your favorite threads from the past couple of years.

Yes, we've still had only five new classics since September 2006. We need some more modern classics. My nominations are the following:

 

CE:

The US Economy and Current Financial Crisis. It's a great example of TSM's ganging up on one guy (Crimson G) who dares to have a different view, except in this case the one guy handles it very well.

Somali Pirates. "The Somali Pirates thread is probably the most informative/interesting thing on the whole board."^[1] -The Bulb.

Fucking Wisconsin. This thread idea was stolen from another forum.

 

Sports:

Who You Crappin'?

Don't let me down, board buds.

Who you crappin'?

Classic thread for that line and the hindsight obviousness of such a thread's failure at this forum. I tried to salvage that thread, Czech!

 

NHB:

The Pit comments on TSM's misogyny. That's so Sensei! Really funny thread.

100 Posts of Solitude. (When it's done.) The real series finale of TSM.

 

LSD:

God, I am such a fucking faggot. Funny/sad.

So, me and my finocee are on "a break". Funny/sad.

Man in Unhappy Marriage Gets Crush on Co-worker. Funny/sad.

I had sex with my male cousin. Funny/sad.

Double Pregnancies. Funny.

So I just ruined two lives. Sad.

 

GTG:

He went to Jared? Delete the first three posts and it's the best GTG thread ever.

 

Next post will be the big TSM Poster Draft.

[Dear Leelee 0]

The Pit comments on TSM's misogyny. That's so Sensei! Really funny thread.

Why is this funny?

 

Because your favorite troll lurked on another board and copies things for his pathetic buddies?

 

Because I mock TSM for being misogynistic?

[Jingus 0]

Battle Royale II

DUDE. You have NO idea. Fucking horrible offensive worthless movie. And I say that as a big fan of the original. This one literally has building-bombing terrorists who trained in Afghanistan as its heroes and the big mean ol' United States as the villain. Somehow surrounding a story about the Japanese government killing teenagers. It makes zero sense, craps all over the first film, and literally praises 9/11.

[BUTT 0]

The Pit comments on TSM's misogyny. That's so Sensei! Really funny thread.

Why is this funny?

 

Because your favorite troll lurked on another board and copies things for his pathetic buddies?

 

It wasn't lurking, I posted there too.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

Battle Royale II

DUDE. You have NO idea. Fucking horrible offensive worthless movie. And I say that as a big fan of the original. This one literally has building-bombing terrorists who trained in Afghanistan as its heroes and the big mean ol' United States as the villain. Somehow surrounding a story about the Japanese government killing teenagers. It makes zero sense, craps all over the first film, and literally praises 9/11.

Yeah, I thought that the first one was fantastic since they gave all of the kids distinct personalities and made it more than just kill kill kill. I look forward to this absurd-sounding sequel.

 

98. TSM POSTER DRAFT.

 

Basically, the criterion for picking posters in this draft is how much the poster would be missed if they suddenly stopped posting. 10 teams, 5 rounds. There were about 1,000 notable posters from which to choose. (I excluded myself.) I chopped it down to about 65 possibles and then chose the top 50 from there. I'll reveal the results in reverse order.

 

ROUND 5

5.10 Gary Floyd - If a top-tier poster took him in as a disciple, Mr. Floyd could develop into a top-25 guy.

5.9 Battlenuts - Won't hesitate to write what he really thinks.

5.8 Toryn Abraham - Combat sports are exciting.

5.7 Smues - Offers a rare Alaskan POV.

5.6 PILLS! PILLS! PILLS! - Decent wrestling poster. Used to have a robot avatar.

5.5 Burning Pirate Ship Sex - Has the best name on the forum.

5.4 King Cucaracha - Has an appropriate signature.

5.3 HarleyQuinn - Provides information about small football schools.

5.2 Star Ocean 3 - Started some interesting threads.

5.1 RedJed - Writes a lot about wrestling.

 

ROUND 4

4.10 bob_barron - Called out Czech in the Oscar pred thread.

4.9 JST - He takes refereeing seriously.

4.8 treble - Has written a few memorable lines.

4.7 Damaramu - Never fails to express the torment of being an OU fan.

4.6 Youth N Asia - Scanning this thread for your name? It's here!

4.5 Black Lushus - Still an Idol fan.

4.4 fazzle - Gets 9.5s (7.5s) naked. Good at WWE Fantasy.

4.3 Bored - Big time sports nerd.

4.2 Brooklyn Zoo - Seems like a fairly reasonable person.

4.1 MILPOOL__/ - Unconventional, affable fellow.

 

ROUND 3

3.10 King Kamala Classic - Grinds out decent posts.

3.9 DCH - Useful wrestling poster.

3.8 Dandy - Makes an effort in wrestling threads and poster tournaments.

3.7 panthermatt7 - Played the role of 'thoughtful undecided voter' awesomely in Campaign 2008. Upside potential!

3.6 Shelton Benjamin outta f'n nowhere! - Great name; great light-hearted cheerfulness.

3.5 TheFranchise - Boards harder than just about anyone.

3.4 zhangmeijie - Interesting, confident poster who shouldn't have been disrespected.

3.3 Anglesault - ::RKO::

3.2 alfdogg - Harmless contributor who knows basketball.

3.1 Art Sandusky - Come on, it's him.

 

ROUND 2

2.10 Kinetic - Has some good ideas.

2.9 KOAB - Says a lot with only a few words!

2.8 Jingus - Y'all are too hard on him. We agree that The Seven Samurai is a 10/10.

2.7 Hawk 34 - Writes clearly and is pretty knowledgeable.

2.6 Carnival - We're boyz 4 lyfe. Funny.

2.5 snuffbox - Knows politics and throws in a dash of good humor.

2.4 godthedog - Intelligent guy who is really underrated.

2.3 The Man in Blak - Consistently makes excellent analytical points.

2.2 DrVenkman PhD - Liked by all. Good mod.

2.1 At Home - Young, but there's a brain up in that head.

 

ROUND 1

1.10 Vitamin X - Yeah, he does express himself well.

1.9 Sensei John Kreese - I am amused by many of his posts.

1.8 Edwin MacPhisto - Happy birthday! Very eloquent.

1.7 Big Ol' Smitty - Is respectful and among the best CE posters.

1.6 Cheech Tremendous - Best thread-starter on the forum.

1.5 Hotbutter Spoontoaster - Great name. Hilarious.

1.4 Crimson G - Fantastic debater. Self-confident without being a douche.

1.3 objet petit a - Versatile, classy, empathetic, and charming.

1.2 Czech Republic - Charismatic. Has a bajillion posts and they're all worth reading.

1.1 Princess Leena - Completely misunderstood by most posters. Very observant. Offers expert discussion on a variety of subjects.

 

Templates for replies:

* You put ___ ahead of ___?

* You didn't draft ___?

 

Post 99 can be 'Ask Xavier' if there are enough decent questions. Otherwise, I will provide an alternative topic.

[Live Free or Battlenuts 0]

I got a good question.

 

What problems do you see with teenage girls/young women today and how would you fix those problems?

[TheFranchise 0]

You're right, about Zhang. I think I was the only person who spoke to her like a rational person.

[Live Free or Battlenuts 0]

I spoke to her like a rational person. Then I yelled at her like a rational person, and I may of insulted her ethnicity like a rational person.

 

Plus, girl posters on wrestling forums seem to quickly develop an ego. No mystery why, but it's necessary to remind the ugly ones they are in fact ugly, even on the internet. Keeps them on the take end of the fuck chain.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

*scratches head and leaves*

[TheFranchise 0]

*Gives Brody Attention*

[Live Free or Battlenuts 0]

^A winner is you.

 

Brody's losing cool like a snowball on a black car in the summer.

[Masked Heel 0]

was Brody ever cool or just odd looking?

[Live Free or Battlenuts 0]

He has a very tiny penis but we love him anyway.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

He has a very tiny penis but we love him anyway.

 

Quoted for truth.

[BruteSquad_BRODY 0]

A poster draft with a dead message board. That was the source of my confusion, I didn't realize I was garnering cool points.

 

The She male is viewing.....

 

 

*AWAITS*

[Dear Leelee 0]

DRAFT ANALYSIS AND RATING.

 

ROUND 1:

 

I agree with 9/10 of these selections. I thought Edwin would be higher.

 

Value: Princess Leena. BUST: Sensei John Kreese.

 

1.1 Princess Leena - Completely misunderstood by most posters. Very observant. Offers expert discussion on a variety of subjects.

I disagree. My expertise in "male-dominated" topics is why the majority of the fags who've actually communicated with me, can't stand me. This place and video game boards. Truly the crotch rot of the Internet. Even /b/ is more accepting of females that don't post their tits.

 

ROUND 2:

 

We know we disagree on pbone. I wouldn't have him drafted. Carnival is intelligent and a decent nigger, but he insists on being a shitty poster. Otherwise, acceptable.

 

Value: The Man in Blak. BUST: pbone.

 

ROUND 3:

 

Now we're getting into posters I'm not that familiar with. Nothing egregious here, except for the lame Asian gimmick.

 

Value: panthermatt7. BUST: zhangmeijie.

 

ROUND 4:

 

Here's where you obviously stopped trying and took whoever is still semi-active here. JST never posts here outside of the e-feds. I just made him a mod because he's a friend and he asked (and the humor of him still being a mod under the main purple queer )

 

I'm eagerly awaiting for what the 100th and final post will be.

[BUTT 0]

You can try to tear down my noble efforts to expose this board's misogyny. I gave the men of TSM a chance to look themselves in the mirror and reflect on how they treat the fairer sex and I'm proud of that. I won't stop until every female over the age of 18 has the right to vote in a TSM poll.

 

Besides which, what did I ever do to you? I was always a Leena supporter. You complain about me almost as much as Slayer does.

[TheFranchise 0]

Leela, you disappoint me.

[King Cucaracha 0]

 

Here's Leela disappointing me.

 

Adam and Brody are just pissed because they're not a top 50 pimp like myself.

 

I remember when I had a draft with my wrestling figures. I think I took Vampiro at #3 for one side because it was a cool figure. I was 10 years old. Pretty much the same deal as this is, in many ways.

[TheFranchise 0]

.

[Xavier Cromartie 0]

99. Ask/chat with Xavier Cromartie.

 

Battle Royale II

DUDE. You have NO idea. Fucking horrible offensive worthless movie. And I say that as a big fan of the original. This one literally has building-bombing terrorists who trained in Afghanistan as its heroes and the big mean ol' United States as the villain. Somehow surrounding a story about the Japanese government killing teenagers. It makes zero sense, craps all over the first film, and literally praises 9/11.

Jingus's summary is pretty accurate. I've blasted America's bombing of Somalia, and so if this film were to appeal to anyone, it might be me. But, no, this film sucks badly and succeeded in reminding me what a terrible film looks like. They had a potentially good idea... Nanahara Shuya went too far and becomes the villain this time, with Kitano Shiori as the revenge-seeking heroine. The pairing idea is pretty dumb, but it's justifiable because the bigwigs saw that it worked for Nanahara and Noriko in BRI. This film could have been a great social commentary on war, government, terrorism, delinquency, and family. It starts fairly well, especially the Normandy scene. Once they get to the terrorists' safe house, it's like Vince McMahon took over the script and made it as awful as only he could. 3/10.

 

What problems do you see with teenage girls/young women today and how would you fix those problems?

Well, I don't see many teenage girls who aren't in Disney shows, but I did see a drunken 14-year-old with oral herpes (she was from Georgia) at my friend's wedding. I would think that the problems of teen girls (and boys) are an exacerbation of the previous generation's problems. They're worse writers, they're more obese, they're more self-centered, they're more desperate to fit in, and they have more emotional/psychological problems. The easiest way to solve these problems would be for a health revolution in the food industry. I know, people love their toxic addictive shit, but stop lying to people about what is healthy and what isn't. The USDA has to pretend that bread and milk aren't completely fucking up your body and mind because they're the cheapest way to feed an army of 300 million people, and the medical/pharma companies have to stay in business. It's all about economics, not health.

 

was Brody ever cool

Um, no. I think that the 'I'm cool, ur not' crowd is Czech, Milky, Incandenza, Agent of Oblivion, CWM, Slayer, 909, Vitamin X, alkeiper, and NYU.

 

I agree with 9/10 of these selections. I thought Edwin would be higher.

You agree with Hotbutter Spoontoaster? I thought that you hated him as well. I am as confused about your anti-SJK comments as SJK is.

 

Confession: I don't read anything in the Music folder. I interacted more with Smitty and Cheech than Edwin.

 

My expertise in "male-dominated" topics is why the majority of the fags who've actually communicated with me, can't stand me.

This reasoning doesn't make sense. You think that they would have hated a "pink" RyechnaiaSobaka? They hate you for personal reasons.

 

Here's where you obviously stopped trying and took whoever is still semi-active here.

Madam, that is an insult. I am incredibly meticulous. How did I get from 65 posters to 50 posters? I examined samples of all 65 posters' posts. Whether someone is or is not included in the draft is entirely intentional.

 

I'd like to add that I initially had 909 and Nightwing (not to be confused with Nighthawk) in the draft. Then I looked at their posts... much worse than I thought.

 

The posters who improved their stock the most when I studied their posts were The Man in Blak, godthedog, and Hawk 34. They were all going to be in the draft anyway, though.

 

JST posts in General Wrestling.

 

I remember when I had a draft with my wrestling figures. I think I took Vampiro at #3 for one side because it was a cool figure. I was 10 years old. Pretty much the same deal as this is, in many ways.

Yeah, I'm really the immature one around these parts.

 

Are you that starved for attention?

Come on, not you too, bro.

 

You guys could have asked anything. Good work, chaps.

[909 0]

Milky, Incandenza,

Nah. I've never talked to Milky and whenever I talk to Inc it's kinda weird. Neither are ever in the chats.

 

NYU.

NYU's never on anymore. You actually forgot some. Are you only looking for those who partake in our chats which I don't usually show up to anymore?

 

I'm trying to start this whole "taking the internet less seriously" thing on the right foot. Relinquishing my mod spot at the new board because I think it being a mod makes me act like an ass is a good start as is trying to be nice or cordial to you even though you continually insult me (although I started it).

[TheFranchise 0]

Are you that starved for attention?

Come on, not you too, bro.

 

Here's the thing, man. I give anybody a chance. It's just in my nature, I can't just dismiss or form a negative opinion of somebody from hardly knowing them. Unless they're TSM poster 'theone' - But as stated, he's a special case.

 

You & I even discussed Leena via PM a while ago and I agreed she shouldn't be persecuted just because of reputation from other posters.. But all i've seen in 99% of her posts since is her gloating about destroying this place and making fun of the community that still visit.

 

She's right in one sense, it's people like her that WILL eventually kill this place off. I don't know any of the back history and I honestly don't want to, but her posting the things she does makes me not want to be around here any more - and i'm one of the ones who want to be around here.