100 Posts of Solitude

[Xavier Cromartie]

1. TSM presents Lord of the Flies.

 

Cast list:

 

Leelee as Ralph

Jingus as Piggy

Dr Venkman as Samneric

Xavier Cromartie as Simon

Czech Republic as Jack

Agent of Oblivion as Roger

and Mike as the Lord of the Flies

 

Of all the literary characters that I've encountered so far, I'm probably most similar to Simon—the tranquil, quiet loner with a natural, mystical quality who has unusual insight and empathy.

[Live Free or Battlenuts]

That's a wonderful way to say "the fat kid that nobody likes".

[Fuzzy Dunlop]

"TSM is LOST" is so much better.

[Jingus]

Hey goddammit I'm just big-boned! Aside from that, why do I have to be the one who dies.

[Xavier Cromartie]

2. There are three posters whom I had underrated until recently: Cheech, 909, and Lt. Al Giardello.

[Live Free or Battlenuts]

At this rate let's call it 100 posts of truckle.

 

That's right kids, I'm bringing back truckle. Go look it up now.

 

 

[Xavier Cromartie]

3. http://www.irinnews.org/Report.aspx?ReportId=83755

[Live Free or Battlenuts]

Keep your skinny colored children in Current Events man!

 

That is a bit of a let down though, I just painted my yacht all black and renamed it "Apartheid".

[Xavier Cromartie]

4.

[Live Free or Battlenuts]

Well now I'm just all psyched for 5. I don't see you topping that to be honest though, unless the next one is someone else telling us you died.

[Xavier Cromartie]

5. Whoever deleted the following post left a lot of people, including me, very confused about "Peter Z":

 

Here's the post btw

 

So, I had some goals written down for forums.thesmartmarks.com to accomplish, as well as thepit.ronbarker.ca.

 

1) Con the Danny Maff Clique into unbanning me.

FAILED - I knew this was a tough one, but I see the staff forum has been having votes instead of Akeroyd doing whatever. Maaaybe Sir Gullible Daniel Polak could convince enough of them to give me a chance. Or, worst case, they could allow me to post again and "fuck with me". Alas, not so lucky. This is a shame because I planned to post "normally", turn face, to set up further enormous INTERNET DRAWMUH. That'll still happen, but it won't be as enjoyable without the HEEL TURN~!.

 

2) My topic goes over 150 posts in a day.

WIN - Major win! Quite impressive for the small community we have now. *pats self on back*.

 

3) Finally get some certain people to loathe me, and establish banishment status at The Pit.

WIN - This was an easy one, but still. You'd be amazed how many people still adore me after being a gigantic cunt to them. It looks like this has changed. And finally worthless Jingus wants me to die. Go me.

 

4) 10 spinoff threads created about me, focused on mocking me and dopes saying "they knew all along".

FAILED - Failed miserably. I think there was only 3. I am truly shocked about how many people didn't believe. Or, at least, know by now that everything I do is a work and I only want to fuck with you worthless kids. Also, a cookie to Incandenza for just about nailing my character. I never thought he cared that much. Let's chat sometime, buddy.

 

5) Double my viewing stats at camwithher.com

FAILED - God, you don't know how long I wanted to make my full camwhore status known here, but promoting is bad, blah blah... I even hinted at it for over a year, but my various Internet stalker detectives proved insufficient. Shocking. So, anyway, the hits didn't come. Fuck you, assholes.

 

6) Have Peter's social networking accounts found, and have him get furious. Possibly murdered.

WIN - Big time win. Thanks, kids.

 

So, all in all, this wasn't as great as I thought it would be. But, laughs were had, smiles were shared, and I had fun galore.

 

See you again for more stupid bullshit in the near future.

 

xoxo,

Princess Leelee.

Thank you for preserving it in the Staff folder.

[Live Free or Battlenuts]

And we're right back to suck.

 

It's a good thing you went with a hundred. A lot of time left for more blankness.

[Xavier Cromartie]

6.

[SuperJerk]

5) Double my viewing stats at camwithher.com

FAILED - God, you don't know how long I wanted to make my full camwhore status known here, but promoting is bad, blah blah... I even hinted at it for over a year, but my various Internet stalker detectives proved insufficient. Shocking. So, anyway, the hits didn't come. Fuck you, assholes.

She was STILL trying to pass those camwithher pics as legit right to very end? Sad.

[Live Free or Battlenuts]

Let's not insult the many people who bought that any further Jerk. I know Milky is in tears somewhere.

[Xavier Cromartie]

In case it isn't clear, this thread is, essentially, my self-imposed Condemned spell. Once I get to 100, I'll just accept that no one wants me around and try to find a new community, unless The Real TSM drops its Sarah Palin 'pallin' around with terrorists' excuse for keeping me out.

 

7. Hong Kong electronics on eBay are good deals. I got a $3 optical mouse, a $5 webcam, and a $20 MP3 player. Free shipping on all of them. Check 'em out before the hyperinflation arrives.

[EVIL~! alkeiper]

You know, I still never found out why that gay porn that Leena certainly did not post said "HI ALAN."

[Lt. Al Giardello]

Add me on AIM Ortonsault if you have it.

 

My AIM is toryndapostaboy, or if you have facebook PM me. I'd hate to lose contact with you!

[Xavier Cromartie]

Leena said the gay porn wasn't done by her. That's all I know about it.

 

I'm not on AIM, but I'm on Facebook.

 

8. I just updated my NFL draft blog, The Sourced Mock. It includes the Jay Cutler deal. Here's the quick version:

 

1. Detroit Lions: LT Jason Smith (Baylor)

2. St. Louis Rams: LT Eugene Monroe (Virginia)

3. Kansas City Chiefs: OLB/ILB Aaron Curry (Wake Forest)

4. Seattle Seahawks: WR Michael Crabtree (Texas Tech)

5. Cleveland Browns: DE/OLB Everette Brown (Florida State)

6. Cincinnati Bengals: LT/RT Andre Smith (Alabama)

7. Oakland Raiders: WR Darrius Heyward-Bey (Maryland)

8. Jacksonville Jaguars: WR Jeremy Maclin (Missouri) ↑

9. Green Bay Packers: NT B.J. Raji (Boston College)

10. San Francisco 49ers: DE/OLB Brian Orakpo (Texas)

11. Buffalo Bills: DE/OLB Aaron Maybin (Penn State)

12. Denver Broncos: QB Matthew Stafford (Georgia)

13. Washington Redskins: LT/RT Michael Oher (Mississippi)

14. New Orleans Saints: CB/FS Malcolm Jenkins (Ohio State) ↓

15. Houston Texans: DE/OLB Clay Matthews III (Southern California)

16. San Diego Chargers: 3-4 DE Tyson Jackson (Louisiana State) ↑

17. New York Jets: QB Josh Freeman (Kansas State) ↑

18. Denver Broncos (via Chicago Bears): DT Peria Jerry (Mississippi) ↑

19. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: QB Mark Sanchez (Southern California)

20. Detroit Lions (via Dallas Cowboys): OLB/ILB Brian Cushing (Southern California)

21. Philadelphia Eagles: RB Chris Wells (Ohio State) ↑

22. Minnesota Vikings: RB/WR Percy Harvin (Florida)

23. New England Patriots: ILB Rey Maualuga (Southern California) ↓

24. Atlanta Falcons: TE Brandon Pettigrew (Oklahoma State)

25. Miami Dolphins: CB/FS Sean Smith (Utah)

26. Baltimore Ravens: CB Vontae Davis (Illinois)

27. Indianapolis Colts: WR Hakeem Nicks (North Carolina)

28. Philadelphia Eagles (via Carolina Panthers): LT/RT Eben Britton (Arizona) ↓

29. New York Giants: WR Kenny Britt (Rutgers)

30. Tennessee Titans: DE Robert Ayers (Tennessee) ↑

31. Arizona Cardinals: RB Donald Brown (Connecticut)

32. Pittsburgh Steelers: LT/RT William Beatty (Connecticut)

[Matt Young]

In case it isn't clear, this thread is, essentially, my self-imposed Condemned spell. Once I get to 100, I'll just accept that no one wants me around and try to find a new community, unless The Real TSM drops its Sarah Palin 'pallin' around with terrorists' excuse for keeping me out.

 

7. Hong Kong electronics on eBay are good deals. I got a $3 optical mouse, a $5 webcam, and a $20 MP3 player. Free shipping on all of them. Check 'em out before the hyperinflation arrives.

 

I want you to stay and post here.

 

[FroGG_NeaL]

No doubt.

[PUT THAT DICK IN MY MOUTH!]

In case it isn't clear, this thread is, essentially, my self-imposed Condemned spell. Once I get to 100, I'll just accept that no one wants me around and try to find a new community, unless The Real TSM drops its Sarah Palin 'pallin' around with terrorists' excuse for keeping me out.

 

If I had any say in the matter I'd try to get them to let you in, but I don't think anyone actually listens to me

[Lt. Al Giardello]

Give it time, and they'll let him in!

[SuperJerk]

I never got the point of message board elitism.

[Xavier Cromartie]

Well, thanks for the encouragement, everyone. I always listen to you, o.p.a.

 

9. Names of newspapers: fuck the heck is up with some of them? It drives me crazy when I'm working on my blog and I have to look up the proper way to italicize the name. Here's what I'm talking about:

 

Exhibit A: The Kansas City Star. Very simple. My favorite type.

Exhibit B: Houston Chronicle. It annoys me because I have to confirm that there's no The at the beginning. It's grammatically awkward as well. "I write for Houston Chronicle."

Exhibit C: The News Tribune. Ok, you have The at the beginning. But what city are you? Isn't that important?

Exhibit D: Daily News. New York dipshittery. Combination of exhibits B and C. Angers me the most because I have to make sure that indeed there is neither a The nor a city name in there.

Exhibit E: Democrat and Chronicle. This name makes me think of "Worker and Parasite" from The Simpsons.

[Giuseppe Zangara]

First-world problems.

[Xavier Cromartie]

10. I admit that I made one gimmick account. I made only one post with it. You can view that post at

 

http://forums.thesmartmarks.com/index.php?...t&p=2254917

 

I'm a big fan of Boy Meets World.

 

I liked Carnival's portrayal of Super Nintendo Chalmers.

[Matt Young]

I approve of just about anything Boy Meets World related. You might have even gone with Jonathan Turner, the tough but fair motorcycle riding teacher with a heart of gold and a soft spot for abandoned, troubled teens with disciplinary problems but who possess a ton of potential.

[Xavier Cromartie]

11.

● La Parka

[Live Free or Battlenuts]

Can number 12 be an answer to a question?

 

How many licks does it take to get to the center of the universe?