The One & Only SmartMarks Battle Royal Thread

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(AS didn't realize that BLACK MANTA~! has the power of NO POBO!!(even the convertible top), and Kotzenjunge tells CC to hang on as he gives chase to the ASORV, catching up to it very quickly since this is fantasy and BLACK MANTA~!'s engine is TURBOCHARGED!!!)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Anglesault]

::AS drives right into an Edgehead convention. Being the newly appointed leader of the Edge Army, AS convince 750 14 year old girls that the people in the BLACK MANTA~! think christian is better than Edge. Even the BLACK MANTA~! can't overcome the power or Edgeheads.::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(the BLACK MANTA~! can sure as hell outrun them though. The car doesn't stop until it crosses the state line, and the silly girls are unsure as to what they want to do next, so they throw some lip gloss and hairbrushes at BLACK MANTA~!, which bounce off, the lip gloss not showing at all)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Anglesault]

::AS uses a hollogram machine to produce a picture of Edge in the Anklelock on the Black Manta. The girls charge, but the Manta~! can't move. It is revealed that an Edge dummy is stuck in the front tires. The girls attack::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(freaks out and puts the convertible top down, timing it just so, allowing it to block the rocket from the NO POBO!!-built top and back at the Edge Army. He asks CC to close her eyes so she doesn't see a bunch of her kind wiped out. He uses the panic and chaos caused by a rocket going off inside a group of Edge fans to get out and take the dummy out from in front of the tires. He throws it at the Edge Army, and they flock to it like starving dogs to meat)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

 

(I will admit, that was pretty funny, it just HAPPENED to drop in front of the leader...)

[Guest Anglesault]

I retyped Kotzen. I saw "Mantis" and decided to change the whole thing.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Crap, now I have to change it. Ergh. That convertible top was such a sure-fire escape too.

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Anglesault]

::AS sneaks in and slightly alters the dummy to look like Christian. He says that the BLACK MANTA~! might still have Edge. The Edge Army gets on their scooters and chases::

[Guest Kingpk]

*PK gets in the Kingcar and gives chase, covering the situation for the local news station*

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Scooters? HA!

 

(Unless the scooters can pull 140, fugghedaboutit. BLACK MANTA~! leaves them all in the dust. Kotzenjunge wonders what happened to CC)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Anglesault]

::AS reminds Kotzen that they are using the power of edge, so they can do anything::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(craps himself when he realizes that they'll be pushed forever, but fortunately has a BROCKBUSTER BOMB in his backseat to suck the heat out of the mob and make them apathetic, thus allowing him to get away while they get up to go get nachos or something)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Kingpk]

*Since the Kingcar is powered by his love of Love, it easily catches up to the BLACK MANTA~! and PK gets EXCLUSIVE COMMENTS~! from Kotz about KYLIE~!*

 

Wow, three tilde-bangs in one sentence.

 

That's gotta be a record.

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

Okay, that was downright hilarious, and the tildex's made it even better.

 

(Kotzenjunge tells Kingpk all sorts of sordid details about KYLIE~!, but keeps the juiciest material for himself)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Anglesault]

AS: Curses, foiled again!

 

::AS flies away while petting his cat and vowing to get Inspector Kotzen next time::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(Kotzenjunge knew that anything involving THW(I say he's the Heatless Wonder) would counteract any Anglesault plot. For the hell of it, Kotzenjunge stops on the side of the road to take shots at Anglesault's plane with the bazooka the Edge Army had)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Kingpk]

*Satisfied, PK drives away and writes the BEST DAMN REPORT, PERIOD!, only to be held down by a HHH story about muffins.*

[Guest Anglesault]

::Fortunately, it only shoots out 8 x 10 glossies of Edge::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(Kotzenjunge digs out of the pile of pictures and shakes his fist at Anglesault)

 

Where DID CanadianChick go, anyway?

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

::CWM may not be CanadianChick but he is Canadian! CWM belt shots Kotz::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(Kotzenjunge yawns at the oh-so-contrived belt shot, then falls down, unconscious)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Sandman9000]

::Sandman pours gasoline around Kotzen's unconscious body, then lights a match::

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

::CWM grabs a stick and some marshmellows::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(wakes up when he feels himself burning, says "NO POBO!!" and swats the sticks and marshmallows away from him. He then proceeds to stop drop and roll, and as soon as he's out, he hops into BLACK MANTA~! and leaves Sandman to mutilate CWM)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest cobainwasmurdered]

::CWM uses the power he has due to him being the MASTER OF THE 9X POST~! and burns Sandie to a crisp::

[Guest Agent of Oblivion]

::Starts slinging copies of Hole's "Live through this" at CWM like shurikens::

[Guest Kotzenjunge]

(goes home and waits for the two girls from last night to call him about tonight's... er, activities...)

 

Fo sheez,

Kotzenjunge

[Guest Zack Malibu]

::Tells Kotzen to stop bragging. He's got two chicks, while Zack longs for his g/f, who's at college ::

[Guest Sandman9000]

::Sandman sits in the corner, alone, scared to death of Game 4 tonight::

[Guest Smell the ratings!!!]

*Meanwhile, thousands of miles away, Smell sits up with a start, accidently knocking Zack's girlfriend out of bed*

 

"Did I hear DDR?"

 

Edit: Undisputed thread killer, w00t!