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It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

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How To Vibrate
 

WWE Folder

-The WWE folder sucks right now. There's no way around it, and something needs to be done. There are too many people who treat wrestling too seriously, and the folder needs less of them and more people who have watched for a while and have knowledge, but don't make it their life. We need more posters like Venkman, Lushus, alkeiper, Chriswok, Scroby and their ilk and less Mecca, Enigma, Carlito Brigante and their ilk. The latter are why I tend to avoid the folder now. Whenever I watch Raw these days, I avoid the folder and go on the chat.   Look, I still watch the WWE, but there are valid reasons why cheech made a "Reasons why the WWE folder sucks" thread.   Also, I like Czech, and it's fine he doesn't like to watch wrestling, but there is no way in hell the wrestling folders will become secondary. This place started as a part of a wrestling website, and while this message board isn't really a wrestling message board anymore, the wrestling folders, no matter what you think, are still a vital part of this board. It's just that things need to change in one of the folders.  
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

5 Things that are "cool" to hate on the Internet (abd why that hate is dumb)

Al Gore gave us the internet in I don't really remember. If he knew that it would give us pathetic "reality" porn sites, an outlet for furries, message board "wars", wanna be tough guys, hacker speech, and Rule # 34, he probably would kill himself. If there is anything the net has become know for in my experience, it's this: a place for fat, unwashed, virginal nerds to complain about things that really aren't worth complaining about. Here's the 5 things it's "cool" to hate on the net, and why in the end, it's dumb to hate them.   5.) Musicians that take chances   Why: Most people hate change, especially in music. Hell, I do too sometimes (DJ Shadow's The Outsider, Cabaret Voltaire's foray into House music), but sometimes, it's retarded. Look at how a few (fortunately, just a few) are already reacting to Portishead's new album, to how some Black Metal fags have responded to band's like Amesoeurs, Alcest, and Velvet Cocoon trying something different within the genre.   Why it's stupid : Look, it's not your choice how the artist sounds, it's the artists. Besides, even if it's a disaster, you have to at least give them credit for doing something different.   Will it last: This has been going on long before the internet, so yes, it will last forever.   4.) South Park   Why: Over the years, more and more people have been getting BUTT hurt over South Park making fun of their political views. When they did the "ManBearPig" episode, Liberals complained about it "preaching a conservative agenda." (I just thought it wasn't a funny episode.) Besides, these are very political times, and if you don't agree with somebody's political views, then you are either a thin skinned liberal or a nazi sympathizing neocon.   Why it's stupid: Whining about political views on the net, much like in real life, accomplishes nothing. You may feel passionately about them, but at the end of the day 1.) The world won't change tomorrow because of them and 2.) In the large scheme of things, they don't count. They are just opinions people. Besides, if everyone everywhere agreed on everything, life would be boring.   Will it last: I honestly think that the only way this will end is when Bush leaves office and if McCain doesn't win the 2008 election. It will be then that people quit calling the show propaganda.   3.) Libertarians   Why: When Ron Paul started running in 2007, he became a hero to some who felt that Bush had been a disaster, the Iraq War was a fuck up, and that we needed somebody who was different. Sadly, it ended up attracting anti-semitic and conspiracy theory spewing retards claiming to be Libertarians while having no idea what Libertarianism actually is.   Why it's stupid: A part of this isn't really that dumb. I wouldn't blame people (especially those who actually are Libertarians) for hating this phenomenon. However, it also boils down to the "you don't agree with my political views, so you suck" problem, in which angry conservatives and liberals insult these guys for daring to disagree.   Will it last: It should end by the year's end, then return in the next election.   2.) Juno   Why: "Juno" was the little indie comedy of 2007 that got ton's of acclaim and hype, even getting Oscar nominations (and winning best original screenplay-I don't think it deserved that...). By the time February rolled around though, people everywhere on the internet were bitching about the movie, calling it "The Death of the American Independent Movie" (as pbone called it)   Why it's stupid: While I liked the movie, I can understand people hating it. It didn't deserve all those nominations, and some of the dialog annoyed me. That out of the way, a part of the hatred seemed to come from some feeling like it was "test marketed for hipsters", which largely doesn't make sense to me. The other problem for them is that it's a popular indie comedy, and if history shows, popular indie movies ("Napoleon Dynamite", "Cabin Fever", "The Blair Witch Project") are automatically cool to hate in some people's minds. Look, just because a movie get's a ton of hype doesn't mean it's a bad movie. Sure, it might not live up to all your expectations, but it isn't worth all that venom.   Will it last: Give it another year or two. The next indie comedy hit will come out, and then people will go on to bitch about that.   1.) Hip Hop   Why: Internet nerds feel threatened by what they don't understand-be it liberals, conservatives, Indie Music, or Extreme Metal. No musical genre online though, gets the hatred Hip Hop does. Basically, it offends some people's overly white view of the world, so they lash out at it because they don't understand it. That out of the way, the homophobia and misogyny of several rapper's doesn't help matters, nor do guys like Lil' Jon and Yung Joc.   Why it's stupid: I can understand people not liking guys like Soulja Boy and Lil' Mama, or the crassness some artists use. But to dismay the entire genre is stupid. People used to do the same thing about Frank Zappa and Led Zeppelin, and still say the same about Heavy Metal. Plus, there's the whole not understanding it-to lash out at the genre because you don't understand it is as stupid as it gets. If anything, it's close minded and willfully ignorant.   Will it last: These complaints have been going on since the 80's, so it will never end. As long as Hip Hop exists, there will sadly still be fat guys with mullets and Boston T-Shirts or Greasy guys with long hair and Pantera T-Shirts complaining about Hip Hop. It's a cycle that will sadly never end.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

2008 so far

We're about halfway done, so here's a look at the year so far.   -Heath Ledger died, and TSM was struck by the "Serial Pillist." Also, people are already raving about "The Dark Knight", even though it hasn't come out yet.   -Marvin got progressivley worse, reaching levels not reached since the reign of wildpegasus, and Deon got stupider. Both made it to the finals of the "worst TSM poster" tournament. I still hate them both. Amazingly, Marvin seems aware that he sucks and annoys people, while Deon is oblivious to it. Deon bumped a Jay-Z/Linkin Park thread, not realizing everyone with functioning braincells hates Linkin Park, and Marvin loves Glenn Beck, 3 Doors Down, and Staind.   -The Campaign 2008 Thread became horrible, with Marvin trolling the thread, Jerk arguing with everybody, CheesalaLovesRonPaul calling me a Republican (sorry cheesy, you are wrong), and Marney-my God Marney. She has to be a gimmick.There is no way a hardcore, insane conservative stereotype lesbian exists. No way. And that's not an insult to conservatives, as she's more insane than actually conservative. I dread her return. Still, she's better than Marvin at least, as she seems approchable outside of the CE folder.   -As far as music goes, Portishead have the best album of the year so far. Best Metal album so far is either Boris' Smile, Earth's The Bees Made Honey in the Lion's Skull (not really metal though) or Nachtmystium's Assassins: Black Meddle Part 1. Best hip hop album is probably The Re-Up Gang's mixtape We Got it for Cheap Vol. 3. I think that The Carter 3 doesn't live up to all the hype it's been getting. It's a listenable album with a few great tracks, but it's not as great as everyone says it is.   -As far as horror goes, the best horror movie overall seems to be "Inside", with "The Lost", "[REC]", and "The Signal" as runners up.   -We were all reminded that Juggalos are the lowest rung of the music fan ladder, thus making me feels bad for Carnival. Speaking of him, I wish he'd post more.   -EHME finally had that kid.   -Obama is the official nominee, which means more bitching from Czech.   -Czech, Kingof909, NYU, and Vitamin X became mods.   -cabbageboy may be one of the dumbest or at least most annoying people, in the WWE folder right now. Everybody hates him for a reason.   -In spite of winning the worst poster tournament, Marvin was never banned, though he's tuned it down some. He's still terrible. Deon had posts in the "Things that Anger You" thread that are CronoT posting levels.   -Corey Lazerus prefers Nerd Rap to Real Rap.   -VH! Presents: I Love The New Millenium. Or: VH1 needs to be cancelled.   -Finally, "Kobe, How Does My Ass Taste?" No, not Kobe Tai...
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Let's talk about menstration

-Ever since Benoit died, I've been in the WWE folders more than I usually am.   It's true: The place is pathetic.   I haver never seen so much unbelieveably retarded behavior on a message board since I used to lurk Livejournals for laughs. From "SUCK MY COCK CUNT" to Vampiro69's lovely posts to Angle-plex saying "fuck Debra" (yeah, how dare she get beaten like that!) that thread is both the best and the worst thing I have seen in ages. No wonder I quit hanging around that hellhole. That out of the way, Czech pretty much made the best (and funniest) posts in the thread, so he gets a "best poster on TSM" notice. The guy really is my favorite poster.   -Also, Chris was apparently giving his kid steroids, and killed him with the Cripple Crossface. This whole story just keeps getting more and more fucked up.   -Out of boredom last night, I read old threads of wildpegasus being wildpegasus, and I actually wondered how he's taking the whole thing. He must be a wreck, and for some really sick reason, that amuses me. So, since I don't post on The Pit but he does, how's he taking it over there?   I can see the situation: He wanders the streets, drinking Apple Juice, while screaming out "WHYYYYYYYYY?!?!?" at the top of his lungs, as passer bys laugh at him. He enters the weightroom, and gets kicked out for bellyaching. He even thinks of hiring a hooker to ease the pain, but changes his mind when memories of his cousin return. He then goes on to masturbate to his posters of Bret Hart and Astoboy, and then cries himself to sleep.   Meanwhile, his parents are happy, as they see this as leading to his possible death, meaning they won't have to put up with him anymore.   Mean spirited? You bet, but pretty likely.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

4
How To Vibrate
 

When I was in 12th Grade...

...I thought Bill Hicks was the funniest man who ever lived.   I listen to him now, and I don't think "Bill Hicks sure is funny!" I instead think "Wow, that stoner sure sounds angry." In short, the magic has kinda disappeared.   Also, there seems to be a strange phenomenon with douchebags quoting Bill Hicks.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Another Day, Another Entry

-Bought the new Ghostface Killah album today. So far, I'm really loving it. Plus, it has J.Dilla (RIP), Pete Rock, Just Blaze, and MF Doom on production, and the entire Wu Tang Clan on the track 9 Milli Bros. I also got Thunder, Lightning, Strike by The Go! Team.   -It seems like tomorrows episode of "South Park" takes a shot on "Family Guy". To be honest, I haven't watched FG in a while. Maybe it's just me, but refrencing 80's pulp culture constantly gets kind of old. Granted, it's not a bad show, I'm just tired of the show, since it's basically a less obnoxious "I Love The 80's"   -Mickie James is the new Women's Champ, and continues to bring on the awesome. Really, how could anyone hate her dressing up just like Trish on Raw last night? Also, great to see Carlito turn face. The guy's really improved lately. On the downside, do we really need Jamal back as the Samoan version of Kamala, only not any fun? Plus, the Shawn vs. Vince feud is still going on. I swear, Vince really hates the fans. What other explanation could there be for this bullshit?   -Finally, I saw the stupidest t-shirt yesterday: it basically said "Keep Arnold From Becoming President in '08". I wanted to tell the guy wearing it that he was an idiot, but I didn't, because I remembered that you can't reason with hippies.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

5
How To Vibrate
 

I Hate Keisha Cole

Ok, I don't really hate Keisha Cole. I just hate the fact that I have to hear the song "Love" every Goddamn day. For Christ sake, It's not even a good song.   Anyways, here's some other stuff   I can't believe that I forgot to add this to my worst things on tv right now: MadTV. This show is the second worse thing on TV right now. Have I ever mentioned that I want to see Alex Borstein, Michael McDonald, and Will Sasso slowly tortured in the most excrutiating ways possible for their work on that show?   As I promised, here's my guilty pleasures of TV, past and present.   Jerry Springer I think that ever since they got rid of the sleezy sounding announcer and put in pool dancers and came up with lame catchphrases ("Jerry Berries" anyone?), it's become less entertaining. Anyways, I will admit though, that back in the day, I loved to watch Jerry Springer. Trash TV at it's best. One of the most underrated moments of the show: A white man proposes to his black girlfriend on national TV-in front of the Klan-and she says yes. Sappy, but for some reason, I thought it was kinda sweet.   Kim Possible Yea, there's some lame jokes on the show, but the jokes that hit really hit. Plus, it's had both Brian Posehn and Patton Oswald on it. I'm just mentioning that because I think those two are hilarious.   Super Milk Chan Fact: I got a dirty look from an Anime geek yesterday for admitting I like that show. Yes, because God forbid I have guilty pleasures. This show is incredibly stupid, but I still love it. Also, I love the references to Japanese Wrestlers, and the President. Oh, and the fact that it's essentially a satire of modern day Japanese Pop Culture (notice how the main character essentially stands against everything Japanese Society accepts). I've always called the Japanese zombie movie "Stacy" the "Super Milk Chan of Zombie Movies" for the fact that it gets a lot of detractors, but I still love it, and it's more cleaver than it appears.   Knightrider Come on, who hates "Knightrider?" I loved this show as a kid, and I still watch it whenever I have the chance to now. Plus, Kit is better than all of you.   Teen Titans Well, the first three seasons at least. Season four was disappointing (and overrated) with the exception of Ron Perlman returning as the voice of Slade, and Season five outright sucked, and ended (along with the series) with a weak conclusion. Also, Slade is probably the creepiest villain right now in American Animation.   Hamtaro I don't care what anyone says: Little Hamsters going on adventures= greatness.            
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

The Bird With The Crystal Plumage

-Last night I watched The Bird With The Crystal Plumage, and I loved it. It's a great piece of early giallo style horror cinema, and it was Dario Argento's directorial review.   -Listened to the reissue to Chapterhouses album Whirlpool, and it's pretty good. The bonus tracks (all ep songs) are a mixed bag (some are great, some not so great) but the album tracks are great. Good to see a reissue of this, as it's a bit of a lost classic in the shoegazer era.   -It seems like a guy from Fox News has stepped in as Bush's new advisor. If you ask me, I'm suprised it took this long for a guy from Fox News to officially work for Bush, but it's happened. I will say this: He's probably the envy of a lot of the folks that work at Fox news.   -I enjoy the Colbert report, but I must admit: I think that sometimes, he overplays the character a bit. It's not that hard to mock/satirize dudes like Hannity, but he sometimes overdoes his character, making it a little annoying.   -And now, as I promised last night, here's my list of underrated/underappreciated comedy movies   National Lampoon's European Vacation-Not as good as the first Vacation movie, or Christmas Vacation, but infanately better than Vegas Vacation. There are some lame moments (the dreadful 80's fashions come to mind), but there are some great moments, such as Eric Idle's appearances, and Clark forgetting to turn off the camcorder when he's having sex with his wife (and said video making it on the French Porn market).   Pootie Tang-This, along with Undercover Brother, are far superior to the overrated Austin Powers movies (though I do love the second Powers movie the most). Everything about this movie is hysterical, from the Villains (Jennifer Coolidge as an over the top hooker, David Cross as a Pootie Tang Impersonator) to the soundtrack ("I Wanna Be Your Man" by Zapp and Roger in particular, is a great highlight), to the appearences from other comics (Todd Berry comes to mind) to Pooties daddy, to the guy who always repeats what others are saying, to Dirty D ("They made me shower!"), to Pooties way with the ladies, to Bob Costas, to Pooties dialogue in general, to the absurd fight scenes-just about everything in this movie is hilarious.   Kung Pow-I'm only mentioning this because I don't know anyone that loves this movie. How can anybody hate a movie with Gopher Chucks and a villain named Bettie? Plus: "That's alotta nuts!"   Shaolin Soccer-Not as good as Kung Fu Hustle, but close enough. Have I ever mentioned that Stephen Chou is fucking awesome?   Canadian Bacon-The last movie John Candy starred in, and the only movie Michael Moore has done that I can honestly enjoy. The highlights: John and the boys forgetting the words to Born in the U.S.A. and Oklahoma, and the scene at the camp fire were we realize that the black guy is always the first guy to die in movies.   Joes Apartment -Singing cockroaches (one voiced by Dave Chappel), making fun of scenester kids, a man named Walter Shit, syncronized swimming in a toilet, Robert Vaughn, and Don Ho. I have always loved this movie, but nobody else seems to.   Beavis and Butthead Do America-The peyote trip itself is a highlight of 90's comedy in itself. Also: "The guys who's trailer off they were wacking" may be one of the funniest things ever said.   Dirty Work-Norm McDonald was always underrated in my eyes, and this movie proves it. Moments such as "Men in Black-Having Sex with Other men" are good, but the dead hookers in a car joke is a thing of comic genius.   Street Trash-Essentially a horror comedy, but oh well. Here's a movie with a liquor that causes the body to melt into monet like colors, or causes it to explode. Also has: rape, necrophillia, a cop who pukes on people, bad dialogue, fart jokes, and most memorably of all: A game of Hot Potato with a severed penis.   Very Bad Things-The wanna be Quentin Tarentino moments suck, but the rest of this movie is great. Jokes about chopping up hookers, Daniel Stern going insane, Christian Slater being an evil asshole, and a wonderfully dark ending.   The Cable Guy-Jim Carey as a psychotic stalker. When this came out, critics (and audiences) hated it, or didn't understand it. I think this sucker a a great piece of dark comedy. Also, to this day, I sometimes say "Oh Billy!"   Cabin Boy-I don't care what anybody says: this movie is awesome. Chris Elliot, a cameo from David Letterman, and great dialogue ("These Pipe Are Clean!").
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

More wrestling (Vince) talk, music shit, the worst new show

-Apparently, some people are taking the "Death" of Vince a little too seriously, sending letters to the company and calling them. I already posted this picture, but: Anywho, this is still awesome, or at least for the time being. I enjoy great in ring work as much as the next smark, but this is the kind of thing I love: Stories that are incredibly stupid, but are still fun because of their stupidity. Let's face it, while the WWE has done things that are so dumb they're dumb (Katie Vick, operating on "J.R.s ass"), they are also masters of so dumb it's great. And nobody does this like the WWE. What does NWA TNA have: VKM trying to sabatoge WWE shows. Granted, DX did the same thing, but it still doesn't excuse TNA's boredome factor, or at least to me.   -Now, onto music: Last time, I mentioned the worst albums of the year so far, yet I forgot to mention the new one from The Stooges albu. Granted, they haven't done an album together since the early 70's, but it still sucks, especially considering that this is the band that gve us Funhouse and Raw Power.   I also mentioned Timbaland's Shock Value.and whoo boy, is that bad. Granted, he's not a bad producer, but he should stick to that. There isn't a single interesting moment on here, from the song "Bounce" (no Missy Elliot, I don't want to see your ass n' titties. Nobody wants to) to collaborating with Fall Out Boy (who deserve a special place in hell for covering "Love will Tear us Apart), and the list goes on. This and the new Stooges albums are the years worse so far, though Timbaland wins it for the album being a ridiculous achivement in ego.   -What's the wort new show on TV? Why, its "Lil' Bush", the new cartoon on Comedy Central. Using tired "BUSH IZ STOOPID" and Bill Clinton jokes that went out as soon as Billy boy left office, as well as the worst attempts at political satire since Rolling Stone in the past few years, even the biggest Bush hater will hate this pile of shit. Unless you are Rolling Stone, who seem to like the show. Yeah, it's not like they are still relevent or anything...
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

I <3 Mickie James

It's official, I love the Mickie vs. Trish feud. Mickie is a decent worker, pulls off the psycho stalker character well, and is a diva who actually gets heel heat. Plus, the feud makes sense, and isn't being forced down our throats like the other feuds on Raw. Of course, WWE will find a way to fuck it up, but for now, I'm happy.   I still don't get the point of the Shawns vs. Vince feud. So far, it seems like it's because Vince for some reason wants Shawn to go back to his hard partying days, and that Shawn wants Vince to get over the Montreal incident. I'm sorry, but that doesn't make a good feud. It's just Vince playing the Mr. McMahon character that got old years ago.   Last nights season finale of The Shield kicked my ass in all kinds of ways. I was silent for a long time, thinking to myself "Shane, you Mother Fucker". It took Bush messing up counting to three on Letterman to snap out of it.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

The Condemned: A Review

There's bad movies, and then there's WWE Films.   Ok, I take that back: "The Rundown" was pretty fun. This one is no Rundown though. It's mearly a poor man's "Battle Royale" with a tacked on moral message.   The plot: A new reality show exclusive to the internet has been created by a bigshot Hollywood producer (Robert Mammone). The show puts 10 people on death row on an island, and gives them 30 hours to live. Among the contestants: Jack Conrad (Steve Austin, who does an good job), whose like, got a family you know; and McStarley (Vinnie Jones, who steals the show), who's the sick villain you love to hate. Oh, and there's some message about how violence is wrong. That's right, WWE is telling you that violence is wrong.   What could have been a decent action movie is ruined by some poor performances, stereotypes, overly realistic violence (World Wrestling Entertainment is making a STATEMENT!), a generic soundtrack (come on, Nickleback? Though Grame Revell's score is competant), preachiness, and more. While Austin, Jones, and Masa Yamaguchi do commendable jobs, the rest of the cast is a poorly written blend of dumb kids weened on violent video games (World Wrestling Entertainment is making a STATEMENT!), a sterotypical greedy Hollywood bigshot, the concerned female, the worried wife, and thugs and rapists. Character actor Rick Hoffman (he of "Hostel" and "Cellular" fame) has a performance that could have been better if the screenplay by Rob & Andrew Hedden, who are writers for WWE, knew how to write interesting characters.   Speaking of WWE, the movie is yet another example of how WWE Films essentially fails to deliver on the dumb but fun kind of spectacle you would want. A movie like "See No Evil" could have been a decent throwback to the Slasher flicks of old, but instead was just "Saw" lite. "The Marine" could have been a decent afternoon action flick, but failed even at a rudimentary level. Here, "The Condemned" also could have been a fun action flick, but is bogged down by a preachy message, which reaches MST3K movie levels of ineptitude when the reporter asks the audience "Are we the condemned?" In short, while they are laughably bad, WWE Films so far has yet to create an enjoyable B-Movie.   But hey, who needs that when World Wrestling Entertainment is making a STATEMENT! Too bad for them that Paul Verhoven, George Romero, and even Eli Roth have too, and to much better success.   Rating: 3 out of 10.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

Tarzan the Rapeman

-Well, the Queen visited thw Whitehouse today, and things went well from what I've heard. Right now, I'm pretty pissed off at Bush, but I'll leave that for another post.   -I haven't seen "Spiderman 3", but from what I've heard, I didn't miss much. Shrek the 3rd comes out next week, and to be honest with you, I don't care. I'm just doing what I can to not buy products with Shrek on them. I swear to God, the last one sponsered so many products that I'm suprised Shrek and Donkey didn't start shilling Maxipads.   "Wow Donkey, these new Maxipads work better than the old ones! They're so absorbent!" "Yeah Shrek, I haven't felt this fresh in a long time!"   Anyways, it made about $148 Million in the U.S. over the weekend. At least I have "28 Weeks Later" on Friday.   -Lately, I've been hearing about a bunch of Christians who feel threatened by notable Athiests, thinking that the likes of Richard Dawkins will try to convert their children. You know folks, I'm not an Athiest or Agnostic, but I'm sick of hearing these fundies cry over this shit. Seriously, why should anybody care whether or not somebody believes in God? I don't give a flying fuck if somebody's an Athiest, its not affecting me, and its not affectecting anybody else. Yet Kirk Cameron (remember him?) and his pals are feeling threatened. Get over it, none of these guys want to convert you into Atheism. Just because Christopher Hitchens (who's a Bush supporter from what I've heard) doesn't believe in God and writes a book that tells you why does not mean that he's trying to turn you into an Athiest.   Also, there was a Death Metal band named Athiest who were actually pretty good, and I normally can't stand Death Metal.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

"American Dad" is funnier than "Family Guy"

When I was watching "American Dad" last inght, I remembered something: this is a show that is better than "Family Guy" in so many ways.   First, let's get this out of the way: I used to really like "Family Guy." I really did. Then it got renewed. I still liked it, but couldn't deny it was lacking. Then I saw the Superbowl episode, and I started to realize maybe it wasn't that good. Then I saw older episodes on Adult Swim, and came to the conclusion that it had always been hit and miss in the past, and now sucked. Now it just get's worse. I tried to watch it last night, and let's just say "South Park" was right.   However, Seth Macfarlene has another show that airs after "Family Guy." It's called "American Dad." At first, I didn't like it. Then I started to warm up to it. Now I've realized that it's not only better than "Family Guy", but is everything that "Family Guy" should be. It's funnier, uses pop culture references in away that's not annoying (no annoying cut away gags or too many jokes that overstay their welcome-plus come on, a tribute to "The Warriors" and using Joy Division's song "Love Will Tear Us Apart"? That's gold), is more plot driven (and interesting), has less annoying characters, has social and political satire that doesn't annoy me-it's just the better of the two.   Basically, while "Family Guy" get's more annoying and lazy, "American Dad" gets better. Last night may have been my favorite episode yet too. Shame "Family Guy" is more popular, but at least I get a funnier show out of "American Dad." Just saying...    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Rethinking things

As I'm typing this, "The Shield" season finale is on   In case you didn't know, Inc. hates me. I mean he really hates me. He says I'm nothing. I got pissed off over this.   Bad idea.   Well now, I don't know what to do. I gave up, and decided what the hell, let him waste his time. I did nothing to him, but what can I do? Nothing. So he hates me. Whatever. I lost my cool, and it was a mistake.   I'm not that bad of a poster, am I?   Right now, I'm rethinking my role on TSM. I'm still going to post. I'm not going to quit just because a few people think I'm pathetic. That out of the way, I need to chill out. I can't just yell at someone over the internet, since that accomplishes diddly shit.   Maybe I should join the Pit. Granted, Rapemaster MikeSC and wildpegasus post there, and I'm not too wild about them. But I need to start posting somewhere beside here. I have no interest in say, DVDVR's boards. Fark? Don't like it too much. Something Awful? I'm not paying to post somewhere. Wrestlecrap? You must be fucking kidding me.   I'm I still pissed? Yes, a little. I didn't do shit to Inc, and he insults me. What's his problem. However, I'm not going to argue with him, since it's a waste of time.   I've been posting here for almost three years. I've loved it for the most part. I've met some great people and posters. I'm not going to quit just because somebody I never met in my life doesn't like me. I do need to work on some things though. I need to quit trying to be cool with everybody. Some people are assholes, but I'll just have to deal with it. The fact that I lost my cool is rather hypocritical, since I insult certain posters as well. So I should take a few punches. It was only a matter of time before someone ripped on me. I guess I had it coming.   The point of all this is that I'm trying to show some humility here. I'll go back to being the same old Gary Floyd that you love/hate/ignore. I'll go back to posting pictures that amuse some and annoy others. Don't like it? Too bad.   So there you have it. I'm sorry I lost my cool. I don't want to fight anymore. Let's just go back to sort of tolerating one another.   Oh, and Matt, I don't want to be your "nigga."
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

4
How To Vibrate
 

Wedding Recap

Well, the wedding is over. My cousin Ann got married, and I'm happy for her. The wedding itself went by suprisingly fast, and it was freezing outside.   Afterwards, I went to the wedding reception. The wine sucked ass, but the bar had some good stuff. Had some rum and coke, and sprite with peach schnaps, and it was all good. My relatives (and the relatives of the groom) got drunk, and it was ugly. No violence occured, but I had the unfortunate image of seeing my uncle Greg, a white guy in his late 40's or early 50's, trying to dance to "Baby Got Back". There was also a bunch of shitty modern day country (Man, fuck Rascaal Flatts), and it was the whitest wedding reception I've ever been to.   My parents got drunk too. Now, when my dad gets drunk, he's more casual about it. I mean, you can tell, but he never does anything embarrasing. When my mom gets drunk though, it's different, as she gets a bit more excited, and starts dancing as badly as everyone else. Oh, and afterwards, she'll deny.   Afterwards, my brother, who doesn't drink, had to drive us all to my Aunt Pam's place. Mom and Dad were in no shape to drive (especially dad), and while I wasn't drunk (I'm the only person in my family who drinks but doesn't get drunk, and generally keeps it in moderation), I wasn't really in the shape to drive either.   When we got to my aunt's house, my uncle Dick tried to "be cool" with me, and tried to impress me with his musical tastes. Sorry man, but Karin Carpenters Christmas album isn't exactly a good album. He was most likely joking though, which makes sense, since he's always been the joker of the family.   Next day, I woke up, took a shower, had breakfast, talked with relatives, watched the National Geographic channel, went to Best Buy, and left for home.   And that's how it went.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Worst Feuds in Wrestling History, pt. 1

WWE vs. The Invasion-There's a lot of things that went wrong with this one, but for me the worst things about it were all involving Vince. It was pretty much Vince living out his victim fantasies and feeding his ego in front of the world, because you know there were times Vince thought that WCW and maybe even ECW only existed to ruin him. Plus, it tried (and of course, failed) to make Vince sympathetic, which, when you remember his Mr. McMahon character, plus macking on younger women, and many other things, that it's impossible to sympathize with both the character and the man himself.   No Limit Soldiers vs. West Texas Rednecks-This shows you how clueless WCW really was when it came to what the fans wanted in it's late days. What blows me away is that WCW really thought people still gave a shit about Master P, and that his brother or whatever was really worth signing as a wrestler.   Hogan vs. Warrior, feud #2-The Warrior in the mirror that Bischoff can't see, the homoerotic bits with Ed Leslie, Long winded promos, and one of the worst matches in Hogan's career. There really isn't anything else that can be said.   Marc Mero vs. Sable-The feud that pretty much destroyed Mero's career, and features one of my least favorite divas of all time. Say what you will about Torrie Wilson, but she's Malenko in the ring copared to the former Mrs. Mero.   ECW vs. The Network-If you ask me, one of the main reasons bringing back ECW is a bad idea is because in it's last years, it's best years (95-97) were obviously behind them. This feud IMO, is the real beginning of the end. At least Cyrus was entertaining on the mic.   Vince McMahon vs. Shawn Michaels-A feud with no real explanation. Why was it that Vince wanted Shawn to go back to his old ways? Why do we suddenly need the kiss my ass club to return? Why are we watching this bullshit?   Triple H vs. Chris Jericho-This one pretty much destroyed Jericho's credibility, and gave birth to my annoyance of Trips. (I never really hated him.)   More to come. Also, I'll take anyones suggestions.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Nevermind

Yeah, I should have voted for Cena's Writer.   Matt, it's a fucking tournament made for fun on a message board. It's not "Serious Business." I doubt I'll make it to round three, and you don't see me crying about it.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

You'll Go Blind

Well, things are same as always. I have a big paper/essay/whatever to do for my buisiness writing class that's due in about two weeks. I started it today, so I'm going to finish it tomorrow. Then it's a presentation for that class, which I'll start on Monday.   Well, I saw a USA Today poll two days ago on Olberman, and it seems that Tom Cruise is more popular than Bush. Granted, he's not a politician, and it's by 4%, but still, that says something.   You know, I don't watch Smackdown, but I' do see the spoilers to it, and I have a question: If Rey's champ, then what's the point to jobbing out in squash matches every week? Could somebody please answer this for me. Also Leena, don't take this as an insult, but I have a question for you: why on Earth do you like Great Khali, because from what I've heard about him, he's awful.   The weather over here has been miserable. It's going to rain all week according to The Weather channel and the local news. Hows the weather for you guys?   That's all for now. Next time: I rate the new albums of this year so far.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Songs about Fucking

-Charlton Heston died. When I was a kid, he was one of my favorite actors. "A Touch of Evil" is one of my all time favorite movies, and has a hell of a soundtrack. I could go on and on, but I won't. RIP Chuck.

-Taigastar got sent to the Gulag, then was let out. While I don't like her, she didn't deserve to be there. Deon, on the other hand...

-Scott Keith is supposed to be doing a Q & A here. I remember reading his old reviews, especially his review of "Royal Rumble 94." His review of Undertaker vs. Yokozuna is hilarious (complete with Depeche Mode reference!), and pretty dead on. Also, I remember Sean Shannon was pretty universally loathed, and seems to have diappeared off the face of the Earth. What happened to the doofus?

-Finally, I won't be doing music related entries here anymore. They'll instead go on my Last.FM blog.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

2007 Horror review

Best Horror Movie: Grindhouse. Honerable mention goes to Zodiac and Bug (which are only sort of horror), 28 Weeks Later, The Mist, 30 Days of Night, and The Host.   Worst Horror Movie: TIE Captivity and Skinwalkers. Honerable mention goes to Unearthed, Hills Have Eyes II, The Hitcher remake, Rise, Blood Hunter, and Hannibal Rising.   Goriest: TIE Planet Terror and Hatchet   Funniest: All the trailers to Grindhouse, especially Werewolf Women of the SS. Honerable mention goes to Severence.   Most Disappointing: Rob Zombie's Halloween. Honerable mention goes to The Last Winter and the adaptation of Jack Ketchum's The Girl Next Door.   Best Sequal: 28 Weeks Later   Most Cringe Inducuing Moment: Melting balls in Planet Terror. Honerable mention goes to the Belt Sander scene in Hatchet and the castration scene in Hostel II.   Best Cameo: TIE Nicolas Cage in Werewolf Women of the SS and Ruggero Deodtro in Hostel II.   Best Kill Mouth and skull torn apart in Hatchet.   Best Actor: TIE Robert Downey jr., Mark Ruffolo and Jake Gyllanhall in Zodiac. Honerable mention goes to Thomas Jane in The Mist, Kurt Russell in Death Proof, Robert Carlyle in 28 Weeks Later, Danny Huston in 30 Days of Night, Nathan Baesal in Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, Malcolm McDowell in Rob Zombie's Halloween, and Brian Cox in Zodiac.   Best Villain: Marcia Gay Harden in The Mist. Honerable mention goes to Danny Huston in 30 Days of Night, Kurt Russell in Death Proof, and the monster in The Host.   Best Actress Ashley Judd in Bug. Honerable mention goes to Rose McGowan in Planet Terror and Marcia Gay Harden in The Mist.   Best Indie and/or Foreign Movie: The Host. Honerable mention goes to Severence, Mullberry Street, Behind The Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon, Hatchet, and The Living and the Dead.   Finally on DVD: From Beyond, Night of the Comet, and Monster Squad.   Look Forward to in 2008: George A. Romero's Diary of the Dead, Dario Argento's The Mother of Tears, Stuart Gordon's Stuck, Cloverfield, Frontier(s), The Lost, Red, HeadER (not a typo btw), The Signal, Inside, and Hellboy II.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

gary floyd rates the new TV shows

ABC   -Pushing Daisies-Best new show of the season. It's funny, has likeable characters (and hot chicks), great visuals, an intersting plot, and more. Great stuff. A   -Dirty Sexy Money-Not too wild about what I saw. Not even Donald Sutherland can save it. D   -Cavemen-No. F   -Carpoolers-Not even the presence of Kids in the Hall member Bruce McCulloch as a writer can make this good. Cliched and disappointing, as it could have been great. C-   -Big Shots-Sucks. I miss the shoe "Titus." F   NBC   -Chuck-The geek gimmick can occasionally get annoying, but it's still good stuff. B   -Journeyman-I really have wanted to like the show, and while Kevin McKidd is great, I have yet to be really involved. C+   -Bionic Woman-I really wanted to like this one also, but so far, it's just so-so. C   -Life-Good, but not great. It's fun, but formulaic. B-   Fox   -K-Ville-Also fun but formulaic. The thing that makes it is the cast, particularly Anthony Anderson. B-   -Back To You-Boring, with the exception of Fred Willard. D+   CBS   -The Big Bang Theory-From the producers of "2 1/2 Men." So yeah, it's not good. D-   -Cane-Interesting, and well acted, but a bit of a let down. C+   -Moonlight-Vampires as PI's? No thanks. F   -Viva Laughlin!-This is...well, it's something. It's a horrible show, but it's like a bad acid trip kind of horrible, as it's something you saw, hallucinated (well, it feels like it) and wish you never did see. F   The CW   -Aliens in America-Not too bad. The leads have great chemistry, and Adhir Kalayan could be the season's breakout star. Plus, it's got the kid from "The Hills Have Eyes" remake. B   -Reaper-The second best show of the season. Ray Wise gives the season's best performance as Satan. A   -Gossip Girl-Haven't seen it.   -Life is Wild-Ditto.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Kobe, How Does My Ass Taste (NSFW)

"Kobe, how does my ass taste?"       That was the question Shaq asked Kobe as his rival's tongue went to work on his soiled sphincter. It was sturdy to say the least, hungrily lapping up everything it could, and not ignoring a single part of the rancid poop shoot. He just dug deeper, practically munching away as he felt some solid waste exit the putrid black hole.   "GOD DAMNIT!" Shaq yelled orgasmically, jerking his large member as pre cum soaked his knuckles. Kobe was incredible at this-it was his specialty. He did it to Steve Nash earlier that week, and he had plans for Joe Crawford later on.   Shaq's finger's gripped the swollen member. It felt like a firehose ready to go off at any second, yet the Phoenix Sun was able to hold it off-even at the sight of Kobe wildly eating out his shit stained shitter, feces dribbling from his chin like a grotesque milkshake, all while caressing his own member with extreme force.   Nothing lasts forever though, and by the power of Shaq-Fu, Shaq's rectum fired liquid cannon into Kobe's gullet, soaking his face and mouth with diarrhea as Kobe ejaculated a fire hydrant like load into Shaq's gaping maul.   Looking deep into each other's eyes, the two shared a French kiss, semen and feces mingling into each other's mouth to create something not even the Fu-Schnickens would consume. "Delicious" Kobe replied.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

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