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About this blog

It's a dirty job, but someone's gotta do it.

Entries in this blog

How To Vibrate
 

I wasn't here Monday

Because I went to a Radiohead concert. Here's a run down of what happened:   It was a 4-5 hour drive, and I was fucking exhausted. Took me about 30 minutes to regain some energy. I got there early so I could get good lawn seats, and so I could get a good parking space. First things I saw at the parking lot: a guy vomiting in the bushes and some hippies. Fortunately, not to many. Beer was $10, so no getting drunk tonight. Cool T-Shirts I saw: A Neu! shirt, a Corgi T-Shirt (I love Corgis), and a Jesu T-Shirt. Minimal Techno music played before sets. I recognized the Vlasdiv (sic) Delay and Basic Channel tracks. Opening act was Grizzlybear. They were alright, and came off as nice guys. Before Radiohead's set, there were the obligatory ads. I can happily say I've never heard a Jonas Brothers song in my life. Also Bill Maher has a really obvious receding hairline. Radiohead were great. "National Anthem", "Body Snatchers", "Idioteque", "Pyramid Song", "Dollars and Cents", "There There", and "Everything In It's Right Place" are fucking experiences live. So yeah, a really stellar live show full of energy from both the band and the crowd. There was an asshole behind me (obviously on E) who kept bumping into me, so I moved. He looked a lot like Marvin. Traffic was a pain in the ass. Me and my friends played "Name That Tune", and my pal Shawn "You know what would be really funny? If care could hump each other" Got back to my place on Tuesday.     So there's the lowdown.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

I Need Something To Chew On

-I'm back. I had to do finals, and I went to my brothers graduation party (beer was good, party was so-so), and I saw "Hostel Part II" (pretty good)   -Paris Hilton went to jail, and I don't care. Seriously, why does anybody still give a shit about this woman? She's completley worthless, has contributed nothing to society, yet people won't shut up about her. I don't care, and I don't want to hear about her.   - Just thought you should know.   -Finally, here's a man singing while fucking a girl's ass. NSFW obviously, but great none the less.     Sorry for the boring journal entry.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

I made it to round two! and other musings

-First of all, I made it to round two of the Posters Tournament, which makes me happy. I even beat veteran and established poster Youth N Asia, which surprises me. To those who voted for me, I say thanks, and to those who didn't, that's ok, as long as you left kind words. Will I win round two? Probably not, but the fact that some of you think I'm a good or improved poster is great.   Also, congrats to Lushus, Venkman, King Kamala, Man in Blak, Carnival, and yes, even Matt Young, for making it to round two. I actually was rooting for Matt, as he could be the underdog of the year. Too bad it left a debacle involving him and Cena's Writer, but I'll give Matt the edge for not sucking up to Hugo Chavez. Also, unlike CW, he didn't vote for Carlito Brigante over King Kamala.   -Also, is it just me, or is Carlito Brigante really boring and predictable now. He repeats the same insults adnauseum, seems to call everybody fags, and is basically boring now. he's still scream at the moniter horrible though.   -Recent discovery: Primordial's 2007 album To The Nameless Dead, a great blend of Black Metal, Celtic music, and folk that never feels forced, and puts Viking Metal to shame. I never did like Viking Metal though. I wish I had known about it in 2007, because it would have made it in my best albums of 2007 list.   -Finally, look for my 12 best moments in music history to return to this blog soon.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

I Love "Ewe"

-Well, things are alright. I got a job volunteering at a computer workplace. Work starts next week.   -Henry Rollins has a new show on the IFC channel. It's pretty damn boring, and mostly just him ranting and interviewing people (He's not a very good interviewer). Personally, I don't know what CheesaaisGood see's in him. Plus, I hear he's a major asshole in reality.   At least his "Letter to Ann Coulter" was amusing, mostly because I hate that fucking bitch.   -Speaking of Ann Coulter, sooner or later, I think people are just going to get tired of her. You can only say so many stupid things before people finally just grow bored with you, and she'll become irrelevent eventually.   -It seems like Carnival and Leena have quit posting. While I really don't miss Leena (she eventually just got boring), I do miss Carnival. He was one of my favorite posters.   Well, that's all for now. Next time: Bad Chuck-E-Cheese memories.  
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

I Hate Snowdays

-I don't have class today, because the University is closed due to the shitty weather. This actually pisses me off some. Unlike others, I want to get some homework done, and I hate being stuck in my room all day, which has been the way for about 2 days. I did help a chick get her car out of the snow, but other than that, I haven't done anything lately, and the boredom is starting to get to me.   -A thread in the Music Folder deals with the hilarious results of rapper Cam'ron making an ass of himself. Really, go there, and watch the video, it's awesome. Just watch the video though, because Carlito Brigante ruined the thread, as he's known for ruining any thread related to Hip Hop.   -In movie stuff, check out "The Abandonded" next week. It was the best recieved movie over at Horrofest last November, and has gotten some pretty damn good word of mouth.   -The guys with the snow shovel are out ther right now. That's the seventh time I've seen them in the past two days. Yes, I am really bored.   -Finally, Happy Valentines Day.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

I Hate Keisha Cole

Ok, I don't really hate Keisha Cole. I just hate the fact that I have to hear the song "Love" every Goddamn day. For Christ sake, It's not even a good song.   Anyways, here's some other stuff   I can't believe that I forgot to add this to my worst things on tv right now: MadTV. This show is the second worse thing on TV right now. Have I ever mentioned that I want to see Alex Borstein, Michael McDonald, and Will Sasso slowly tortured in the most excrutiating ways possible for their work on that show?   As I promised, here's my guilty pleasures of TV, past and present.   Jerry Springer I think that ever since they got rid of the sleezy sounding announcer and put in pool dancers and came up with lame catchphrases ("Jerry Berries" anyone?), it's become less entertaining. Anyways, I will admit though, that back in the day, I loved to watch Jerry Springer. Trash TV at it's best. One of the most underrated moments of the show: A white man proposes to his black girlfriend on national TV-in front of the Klan-and she says yes. Sappy, but for some reason, I thought it was kinda sweet.   Kim Possible Yea, there's some lame jokes on the show, but the jokes that hit really hit. Plus, it's had both Brian Posehn and Patton Oswald on it. I'm just mentioning that because I think those two are hilarious.   Super Milk Chan Fact: I got a dirty look from an Anime geek yesterday for admitting I like that show. Yes, because God forbid I have guilty pleasures. This show is incredibly stupid, but I still love it. Also, I love the references to Japanese Wrestlers, and the President. Oh, and the fact that it's essentially a satire of modern day Japanese Pop Culture (notice how the main character essentially stands against everything Japanese Society accepts). I've always called the Japanese zombie movie "Stacy" the "Super Milk Chan of Zombie Movies" for the fact that it gets a lot of detractors, but I still love it, and it's more cleaver than it appears.   Knightrider Come on, who hates "Knightrider?" I loved this show as a kid, and I still watch it whenever I have the chance to now. Plus, Kit is better than all of you.   Teen Titans Well, the first three seasons at least. Season four was disappointing (and overrated) with the exception of Ron Perlman returning as the voice of Slade, and Season five outright sucked, and ended (along with the series) with a weak conclusion. Also, Slade is probably the creepiest villain right now in American Animation.   Hamtaro I don't care what anyone says: Little Hamsters going on adventures= greatness.            
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

I can explain my absence

Yeah, it's been a while since I posted an entry. I have an excuse however: I've been up to my neck in homework. I've had midterms,quizzes, and papers to do, and I haven't been able to post as many blog entries, or post in TSM, as much as I'd like to. I'll do more later.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

I Am (not) Legend

-Well, in the past few days, I've been insulted by Hotbutter Spoontoaster and Banky. While Banky's was a typical "You're not funny", Spoontoasters was great. He said that he could beat me in a game of wits (not really a great feat) and called me "weird horror movie freak guy." This is why the internet exists folks.   -Cleetus and Jodine are breaking up. In all honesty, I still don't know what any woman on Earth would see in Kevin Federline. Just looking at the guy makes you want to vomit.   -It's official: The Democrats have taken over the senate. What amazes me is that this is the first time since 1964 that a Democrat won in Virginia. Now, some people are porobably going to be put in suicide watch.   -In horror movie news, it seems like a PG-13 horror movie called "The Return" opens today. It wasn't screened for critics, and it's a PG-13 horror movie, so it's going to suck.   -Finally, remember to watch "Masters of Horror" at 10:00 tonight on Showtime.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

I admit it: I'm a fan of the Spirit Squad

I have a confession to make, and alot of people will disagree with me. Anyways, I confess: I like the Spirit Squad. Is it retarded? You bet your ass it is. Is it Wrestlecrap? Yes. So why do I like it? Because the way it was done last Monday was so stupid, yet so surreal and so random, that I couldn't help but love it.   So of course, the WWE will screw it up for me.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

I <3 Mickie James

It's official, I love the Mickie vs. Trish feud. Mickie is a decent worker, pulls off the psycho stalker character well, and is a diva who actually gets heel heat. Plus, the feud makes sense, and isn't being forced down our throats like the other feuds on Raw. Of course, WWE will find a way to fuck it up, but for now, I'm happy.   I still don't get the point of the Shawns vs. Vince feud. So far, it seems like it's because Vince for some reason wants Shawn to go back to his hard partying days, and that Shawn wants Vince to get over the Montreal incident. I'm sorry, but that doesn't make a good feud. It's just Vince playing the Mr. McMahon character that got old years ago.   Last nights season finale of The Shield kicked my ass in all kinds of ways. I was silent for a long time, thinking to myself "Shane, you Mother Fucker". It took Bush messing up counting to three on Letterman to snap out of it.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

3
How To Vibrate
 

Hostel

Hostel was pretty sweet. I can't tell you a whole lot of what happens, because it would spoil it.   As far as trailers go, Hard Candy and The Hills Have Eyes remake look good. The American Version of Pulse looks bad, as does the remake of When a Stranger Calls. As For See No Evil, it looks hilariously bad.   Haven't seen Wolf Creek, though a few of my friends have and they where disappointed. Also, I don't want to see Bloodrayne.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Horror Year End Review 2008

Best Horror Movie: Let the Right One In. Honerable Mention: Inside, The Lost, The Signal, Stuck, Splinter, Teeth, Eden Lake, The Strangers, Machine Girl, Tokyo Gore Police, Cloverfield, Dance of the Dead, Doomsday.   Worst Horror Movie: The Happening. Honerable Mention: Prom Night (remake-also, a PG-13 slasher flick? Really?), One Missed Call (remake), Shutter (remake), Rest Stop 2, Otto: Or up With Dead People, Cthulhu, Funny Games, Feast II, Untraceable.   Most Disappointing: Tie between Mother of Tears and Diary of the Dead. Honerable mention goes to The Ruins, Cthulhu, Blindness, Rogue, My Name Is Bruce.   Best Kill: Mom and son kick the bucket (Machine Girl) Honerable mention goes to Head exploding shotgun blast (Frontier(s)), Scissor Stabbing (Inside), accidentally shooting friend in the head (The Strangers), Amish Scythe Suicide (Diary of the Dead)   Most Cringe Worthy Scene: Scissors cock stab (Inside), Tendon removal (Frontier(s)), actually, most of Inside, "Just like Sharon Tate..." (The Lost), Deep fired hand (Machine Girl)   Goriest Movie: Tie between Machine Girl and Tokyo Gore Police.   Best Actor: Mark Senter (The Lost), A.J. Bown (Signal)   Best Actress: Lina Leandersson (Let The Right One In), Beatrice Dalle (Inside)   Best Cast: The Lost. Honerable Mention: Stuck.   Best Villain: Ray Pye (Mark Senter) in The Lost. Honerable mention goes to The Woman (Beatrice Dalle) in Inside, Lewis Denton (A.J. Bowen) in The Signal, The Strangers in The Strangers.   Best Independent Horror Movie: The Lost. Honerable Mention goes to The Signal, Stuck, Splinter, Teeth, Dance of the Dead.   Best Foreign Horror Movie: Let The Right One In. Honerable Mention goes to Eden Lake, Machine Girl, Tokyo Gore Police.   Best Hollywood Horror: The Strangers. Honerable Mention goes to Cloverfield and Doomsday.   Most Pleasant Suprise: Dance of the Dead Guilty Pleasure: Doomsday   Best Quote: "Because you were home." (The Strangers)
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Horror Rises From The Tomb (Day 24)

24.) Horror Rises From The Tomb (1973)

Plot: A Medieval Warlock returns hundreds of years later to recieve the rest of his body (he was decapitated, you see) and kill anyone who get's in his way.

Review: The final Spanish Horror entry in this list, "Horror Rises From The Tomb" is also the second featuring the upiquitis Paul Naschy. Fortunately, this is a better movie than the jumbled mess Vengeance of the Zombies, and is a good, fitting end to the Spanish titles reviewed here, as it's a very entertaining entry in the world of weird but fun Euro-Trash flicks.

The plot is a bit confused, though fortunately, Naschy and co. manage to make the everything but the kitchen sink approach work this time, complete with gore (decapitations, hearts torn out in graphic detail, etc) nudity (this thing is a tit fest) and general weirdness (the site of a disembodied head giving orders is funny no matter how you try to spin it.)

The movie is also more interesting this time around, thanks to not overdoing it with exposition, and just letting things happen. It may be a bit confusing (a detailed plot synopsis of this is nearly impossible really), and the zombie aspect feels a little undercooked (really, do we need another movie with undead servents doing their master's bidding?), but it's still tons of fun, and a good introduction to those wanting to get into the movies of Paul Naschy.

"Horror Rises From The Tomb" and it's ilk are an acquired taste, but those wanting some nonsensical fun will be pleased.

Rating: 8/10 A fun slice of Trash Horror, though those hoping for a easy to follow plot will be dismayed. Otherwise, enjoy.

Tomorrow: A Virgin Among The Living Dead
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Honorable Mentions 2006

Stuff that was forgotten, and such   Worst Arguments Anyone arguing with fanofcoils. Also, several arguments I got into this year, in particular me and Tack arguing over shitty Black Meatal act Burzum, and me arguing with Cena's Writer over Hugo Chavez/   Good to see him again: Carnival. Good to see you on TSM again.   Should Have Been released as a single: Ghostface Killah-K.I.L.O., Peeping Tom-Kill The DJ   I don't want to hear about it anymore: The Pit. Seriously, why do people (myself included) keep mentioning it?   Thank God: The Republicans lost. I'm no Democrat or Republican, but thank God.   Unanswered Questions: Why would anybody over the age of 20 (CronoT) watch Inuyasha?   What the Fuck???: Otakukin, or people who really think that they are anime characters trapped in human bodies. Also, otherkin, or people who really think that they are dragons, elves, vampires, and other fictional entities trapped in a human's body. It's nothing new, but still: What the Fuck???   Show I watch that nobody else seems to: Masters of Horror. Come on folks, fucking watch it!   Movie I'm looking Forward to in 2007: Grindhouse. This is going to kick so much ass.   Ugliest Image: Britney's flappy poon. To think, years ago, we all wanted to see it, but now we want her to cover it up.   Best Fad: NEDM   Internet Legend Award: Goatse. Thank you for stretching out to us and making us sick.    
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Hippies and Other Such Things

Anyways, I've been incredibly busy lately. Finals are this week.   Now, on with other things.   -Last Thursday, while I was leaving class, I saw something that plagues every college campus: Hippies. They were pretty much standing around, holding signs with big "I'm Pro-Life" and "Fuck Bush" written on them, one of them had a megaphone and was shouting all kinds of things like "Bush is a Shitty President" and basically being obnoxious hippies who refuse to make anything out of themselves or the opportunities given to them because they are too busy being jackasses and "Fighting The Man". I was tempted to come up to them and say something to piss them off-I mean come on, it's not lke they will gang up on me and beat me up-but I didn't. I wish I did though. Later on that day, I told one of my friends about this, and she pretty much defended them.   Anyways, here's my point: I'm very Anti-Bush. I'm not exactly a big fan of the war in Iraq. At the same time though, I really fucking hate hippies. I'm sorry hippies, but why do you continue to "Fight For The Cause"? I'm not happy with Bush either, but I don't go around annoying people because of it. Plus, hippies are utterly clueless. They don't seem to realize how the real world works. Sure, I have no problem with anyone who skips class, but if your going to do it so you can shout out lame slogans and such, then I'm sorry, but you suck. Get a steady job. Attend your classes. Hell, you are in college. You are being given the perfect opportunity to make something usefull out of yourselves. To actually contribute something to society and become something. Hell, right now, you have the fucking luxery of delaying entrance into the real world for a good four to five years. And how do you this: By conforming to every lame "Down With The Elite" stereotype imaginable.   Guess what hippies? You are a part of the "elite". You are a part of society. Sure, you don't contribute to anything like actually getting an education or going to work, but you are still a part of society. You are all conformists. Hell, everyone is a conformist, and you know what? It's great. Being a conformist is actually fucking awesome in reality. For now though, you don't realize that. You are to busy wearing your Che Guevara T-Shirts and smoking your joints to realize that you are utter failures.   Ok, I'm done ranting.   That out of the way, one more thing I've noticed: Though they preach racial equality, all hippies seem to be white. I'm a white guy myself, but It just further confirms my belief that the majority of idiots in America are white.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Hills Have Eyes Remake, and other stuff

First of All, I saw the remake of "The Hills Have Eyes" last night. For the most part I enjoyed it, but I still like the original more. Also, as his second film, I'd have to say that Alexandre Aja's first film "High Tension" is better. Still, it's pretty good, and much better than most remakes.   Second of all, I would have to say this: Tina Fey is not funny.   Finally, to everyone who voted for me in round one of the TSM poster's tournoment, I say thank you. I don't expect to win round two, but I'm happy that I made as far as round two.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

2
How To Vibrate
 

Hey Marvin

Just wanted to let you know that Glenn Beck sucks and that it must be impossible for you to have an original thought or opinion.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Here's your ticket to come and get wicked

-It seems like a woman was fired from her job as a sunday school teacher in New York because she's a woman. Read the story here. And people wonder why I became a deist.   -I just saw Dante Tomaselli's new movie "Satan's Playground". Avoid it. I wrote a review for it on the Internet Movie Database, and it should be up soon.   -Salon is retarded. According to them, "24" needs to stop. Well gee, I'm sorry that it didn't have enough about why Bush is a horrible president, you stupid fucks. Read it here. At least they ripped on Nancy Grace.   -Geraldo has a problem with Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert. Seriously, has anybody ever taken Geraldo fucking seriously. The guy is a gigantic dick, and is only good for the unintentional humor he provides.   -I went to the mall again last Thursday. Why? Because I needed some new t-shirts. I didn't find any that were good unfortunately, though Spencers at least plays better music than Hot Topic. I do find it amusing, that so many kids sepend so much money on anti-Bush t-shirts, when they have no idea they are falling into the hands of the same corperations they so lovingly rail against.   That's all for now. Next time: A review of Edward Lee's book "The Bighead"
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Here Comes the Hotstepper

-Birthday was alright. Nothing big happened, but nothing bad happened either.   -Tomorrow night, Adult Swim starts showing "Saved By The Bell". The reason this makes me happy is because it pisses people off. These guys love tofuck with their fans, and that's all kinds of awesome. The more pissed off Inuyasha fans there are, the better.   -It seems like Bush will never get rid of Rumsfeld. I know that this isn't a political blog, and I tend not to talk about politics, but I'm starting to wonder what it would take to get to get Rumsfeld fired. Come on, six retired generals want the guy out, yet Bush continues to say he's doing a great job. I swear, Rumsfeld could rape infants on live television, and Bush would continue to talk about how he's "doing a great job". It just amazes me.   -Thanks to everyone who wished me a happy birthday. For some reason, i wished that Leenawould have, but oh well.   that's all for now folks.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

1
How To Vibrate
 

Her Ass Is A Spaceship That I Want To Ride

-Good God, there been quite a few bannings lately. So far, it seems like fanofcoils, Desperate Housewife, and Dam(o)n Yankees have been kicked out. So, what does ol' lovecraft think of this? Well, here are my thoughts of the banned offenders, including some long delayed thoughts on someone banned a while back.   .Dam(o)n Yankees-While he did get in a few arguments, and say some stupid things, he really didn't do anything to annoy me. To be honest, I don't see why he was banned, though I would like to know why.   .Desperate Housewife-I can see why. The guy constantly chastized posters in the WWE forums (including yours truely) for complaining in a "fan forum" (which it is not) about the product. I've already said it several times, so I'll say it again: This is the fucking internet. People complain over dumb shit all of the time, and it's nothing new. If you can't take the heat, then step away from the fire.   .fanofcoils-This guy should have been banned the first time he made an idiotic comment. Everyone from Special K, Vitamin X, Slayer, and yours truely couldn't stand the guy. Plus, he was the ultimate troll (read the threads on V for Vendetta and The Hills Have Eyes in the movie forum), derailed threads (as Special K pointed out), and was most likely some past banned poster. Good fucking riddance.   .MikeSC-An oldie to be sure. Wow, were to start. Randomly insulting people. Failing to back up his "facts". Trolling the NWA TNA forums. Turning a "Farenheit 9/11" discussion into a shitstorm (and I didn't even like the damn movie). Calling Islam a "Radical Death Cult". The list just goes on. At least he has his own message board now.   Glad I got all of that off of my chest. Anyways, here's some cool videos from YouTube   -Can performing their song "Paperhouse" -Video for Cabaret Voltaire's "Sensoria" -YOU DUMBASS! (I'm one of the few people on Earth who liked this show. Oh Well.)
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
How To Vibrate
 

Heh.

Heh.   Heh.     Yeah, I'm in a good mood. Don't like it? Fine, don't respond. Hell, go to another blog if you don't like it. Bush is out of office, and I couldn't be happier. For years, i've had to hear "you whiney liberals LOL" whenever expressing displeasure with Bush or the way he ran things. Now I don't have too. Will Obama fuck up? Probably, but for now, I'm in a good mood.
Gary Floyd

Gary Floyd

0
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