8 p.m.
• Gimmie the Pats.
1:30 p.m.
• So in honor of my soon-to-be departure from my current job, let me take a trip down memory lane for what I like to call the “Nursing Home Roundup.”
It was just over a year ago and my idiot boss was getting ready for our quarterly marketing meeting. Despite our head salesman also being on this marketing committee, he (nor I) never have any idea as to what would be discussed at this event. All that would happen is that our Board of Directors would come from out of state and rubber-stamp everything my idiot boss says. Right before this particular meeting started, the idiot tells our head salesman (I’ll call him Mike), to “follow my lead.” The idiot then gives a presentation about a newfound guaranteed issue promotion to get more money. This left Mike speechless and let me tell you why.
I’m not an insurance salesman, and I doubt you are as well, so let me do an overview of what a guaranteed issue plan is. When you get life insurance, you have fill out some paperwork and undergo a medical examination. It is usually after these examinations that the insurer finds something wrong with the insuree and jacks up the original premium from the advertised amount that initially attracted the insuree. What a guaranteed issue plan does is eliminate the need for a medical examination. So who does this plan attract? Those people who are unable to get life insurance due to their health condition. Get it? Got it? Good.
Right after this meeting, Mike was livid because he said this program was a terrible way to grow the organization. In previous meetings there was talk about getting insurance plans together to attract new members, and all this guaranteed issue plan would do is keep squeezing our already dwindling supply of customers. In addition, he said the only people who would get this plan are those too sick or old to get any other kind of insurance. And he was right. (And because this was a Guaranteed Issue plan, Mike [or any of our agents] didn’t get a commission on any sales they did.)
After manually stuffing envelopes for a week (yes, my powers-that-be don’t believe in outsourcing this menial labor or investing in a folding machine), we mailed out more than 17,000 solicitations to our customers. What was our response rate? Years ago I was told in a college class that if a direct mailing campaign gets a three-to-five percent response rate, then champagne is poured and parties are had. We got less than a one percent response – I think the final number was around 110. And out of these 110, more than half were people older than 65 years of age. In fact, one person DIED just three weeks after being approved. Why do I call this event the “Nursing Home Roundup”? Because that’s just what we did. Instead of trying to market to young families or several other demographic groups that Mike said our organization desperately needed to reach, we went with those whose address is at the local hospice.
When the results of the Nursing Home Roundup were given at a Board Meeting several months later, it was hilarious to see my idiot boss try to spin this disaster into a positive and said the following: “Did the Guaranteed Issue Plan produce what I thought it would? No. Am I disappointed by the results? No. This was the short in the arm that we needed.” It was then a director asked about some “costs” that weren’t included in my idiot boss’ report, pointing out that labor costs for the dozen or so office employees who stuffed the envelopes for a week weren’t listed (the cost to mail these letters out was well in the thousands – near the $10,000 mark). The idiot’s response? “You can do that.” By “do that” he meant “You can factor that in.” See, when you work with an unethical piece of shit, you have to listen to what this person actually says. Trying to get a liar to give you a direct “yes” or “no” answer can be quite a challenge. However, it’s also really fun to do. Here’s another example of watching what someone says.
As our head insurance salesman, you would assume that Mike would be out on the road attending various public events, meeting people and making contacts. Uh, no. Despite having a $5,000 expense budget (which is a joke in itself due to its pittance of an amount), Mike is never allowed to spend this money. Mike only went to two events this past year with costs amounting to $800. The first trip he went on was for an insurance seminar presentation, and the second trip was some annual outing where he meets and greets clients and prospective members. This event was halfway across the country and only put in expenses for gas, tolls and lodging. When it was all said and done, that amount was just under $500. Once he turned in his expense form, he was asked, “In what capacity did you attend this event?” You see, Mike was dressed in “casual” attire and roamed throughout the event’s location talking to people as if he was “one of them” rather than being dressed in a stuffy suit. For some odd reason, people tend to feel more comfortable talking about life insurance and other financial issues in a casual atmosphere. I have no idea why. I would think walking into a sterile office environment with a suit-and-tie salesman would be ideal place to talk about someone a person knows nothing about.
Why am I bringing this up? Because one time a Director asked the idiot boss why Mike’s ability to travel was limited. The idiot’s response: “Mike can go anywhere he wants.” See, Mike can go anywhere he wants, but it would have to be on his own dime, which of course he can’t afford to do. However, my idiot boss can spend several thousand dollars of our organization’s money to take a useless trip to California.
And there's plenty more where this came from.
Here is Part II of my take on the top 100 RIGHT-WING RADIO hosts, as determined by Talkers magazine. I ended my last installment with Neal Boortz at number nine, so now let’s get crackin’.
• OK, I don’t really care about Air America, but how in the hell are any of them, let alone two, in the Top 20? And if one of them were to be in the Top 10, I’d guess it’d be Al Franken. After all, he has his show on that hippie Independent Film Channel (or at least he did; I don’t know if it’s still on, but I’m guessing it is) and has been the face of Air America since its inception. But no, Randi Rhodes is number 10 – the only thing I know about her is that she ran some bit with a gunshot sound bite a while back, which I guess was to tell us all to kill the President or something. I know that wasn’t its intention; I think it had something to do with Social Security. I didn’t care then, and I don’t care now.
• Bill O’Reilly is number 11? LOL. I don’t hate the guy like other people I know, and I do watch “The Factor” every now and then. But damn is his radio show awful. In fact, my local affiliate, KDKA, just moved him from his noon-2 p.m. time slot to late night, which usually means it’s not doing too well.
• Mancow completes this dirty dozen. I don’t know much about him. I think he’s based out of Chicago, and whenever I’ve seen him on a certain cable news channel known for being fair and balanced, I have been entertained. If he stays on the air in this format for a long time, I’m sure he’ll eventually replace the local FM morning guy I listen to who, incidentally, is also on this list.
• Ed Schultz is number 13. Once again, I haven’t listened to his radio show, but I have seen him in the cable television world. He’s a liberal guy, but the few times I’ve seen him I didn’t think he was all that bad. In fact, the one segment he did with David Horowitz and some other guy, he completely outclassed them. The only think I don’t like about Schultz (and it doesn’t really pertain to him personally) is that NBC’s Today Show did a story on him and called him competition for Rush, even though at the time he was on about four radio stations. I really hate it when Medium-Large Media call the newest liberal talk-radio host the next challenger to Rush. Limbaugh’s on 500 or so radio stations; nobody’s going to directly “challenge” him for a while, if ever. Let any upstart liberal talk-radio guy do his or her thing, and see if they have the ability to beat out the other RIGHT-WING RADIO national hosts in other time slots before even thinking about comparing their success to Rush’s accomplishments. OK, I’m done.
• One reason this list is b.s. is because Rhoes and Schultz are ahead of Glenn Beck, who is number 14. I am not a huge Beck fan, but this guy is one of the most-listened to RIGHT-WING RADIO hosts in the country and is getting his own show on Headline News. I wish WPGB would have Boortz in the 10-noon slot, but Beck is the big dog in this time; I guess it could be worse. I must say though that Mrs. kkk LOVES Beck, and I don’t think she would be as right-wing as she is if she didn’t start listening to him when he first went national in 2001. Even though his material is hit-or-miss with me, the fact he’s not in the Top 10 completely discredits this list for me.
• Jim Bohannon is number 15. Don’t care. I used to listen to his show when I worked at Sappy Valley just because there was nothing else on. I heard him a few years ago while driving in New Jersey and realized I still wasn’t missing much.
• If you ever watch Hannity’s show on the FAUX NEWS CHANNEL (lol2006), you might notice this guy who the camera focuses on every now and then. Well, he’s Alan Colmes, and he also has his own talk show. Sadly, I’ve never heard it, and even though it’s on in my market, I don’t normally listen to talk-radio late at night. I actually like Alan because he’s one of the few liberals with a sense of humor. Here’s one example why I like him: One night the two of them were talking about this incident on a school bus where one kid was beating the crap out of the another kid. Hannity then began to spout some tired gibberish about how liberals wouldn’t want the kid getting beat up to defend himself and said that Alan, when he has a kid of that age, would want his kid to take the abuse. Alan just gave Sean a “wtf?” look and said, "I’d make sure he had a good lawyer.” Well, it made me laugh.
• Number 17 is Jim Rome, one of my favorite sports talk guys. He always pimps the interviews he gets on his show, but that’s when I usually change the station. My favorite parts of his show are when the callers and e-mailers make their voices heard. I’m sure this schtick might seem tiresome to regular listeners, but I tune in maybe 1-2 times per week, so it’s still entertaining to me.
• See my post about Rhodes and you’ll get my opinion on Franken, who is at number 18. Also, numbers 19-23 I know nothing about, so I’ll just stop here for now.
A Target recently opened next to my grocery store of choice, and the better half and I stop in there once a month or so to pick up her prescription that makes sure kkk jr.’s don't make their way into this world. Before heading over to the pharmacy, she stopped at a Starbucks mini-store inside this place. Seeing how it takes 10 minutes for these people to make one cup of anything, I plopped down on a nearby chair and stared off into space. This Target cashier chick who was sitting at a table next to mine had to have been on her break and was playing with her cell phone. She then began telling the chick making Mrs. kkk’s coffee about some new feature on this phone. Afterward, she started talking about how she needs to get pumpkin pie filling and evaporated milk before she leaves work today because tomorrow she doesn’t work or have to go to school and she is going to spend all day making pumpkin pies with her mom because this is the only time they’ll be able to do such a thing because she has to either work or go to school each day for the rest of the week and possibly next week and that she hasn’t made pumpkin pie or baked anything for the longest time and that she already has one can of pumpkin pie filling that has been on her mom’s counter for like TWO WEEKS and that she just hasn’t had time to bake and tomorrow is the only time for the rest of the week and possibly the next week that she’ll have to spend this quality time with her mom like she used to back when she didn’t have so many responsibilities and she hasn’t baked or had a slice of pumpkin pie in such a long time…
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!
Oh for fuck’s sake someone load up a gun and put me out of my misery. Normally I can tolerate stupid co-worker banter, but not when it’s as retarded as this. At least when I had conversations with my fellow cashiers, I talked about stuff worth listening to. One line that really drew the ire of some old bitch back in the Quickie Mart days took place during that whole Susan Smith story – you know, that woman who drove her kids into a lake and then later said she was carjacked by some black guy. Anyway, this was during the time her scumbag defense team was trying to defend her using some bullshit excuse (probably molestation; I can’t remember what it was) and I said to my fellow cashier, “You know, why is it whenever a mom kills her kids these psychology experts want us to understand why she did it and how we’re supposed to show sympathy and understanding, but yet whenever there’s the slightest mention of a deadbeat dad in the media you have to beat these same feminazis back with a stick?” Although that aforementioned woman who I didn’t see standing in one of the snack aisles wasn’t amused by this remark, the guy at the coffee machines found it funny as hell – and if I can’t make at least half of my customers walk out of the store feeling better than when they did coming in, then what good am I?
Back to Target. After I had enough of this gab, I started talking out loud to Mrs. kkk at the same volume this chick had been talking to the Starbucks cashier. Honey, are we getting our pumpkins for Halloween tonight from Giant Eagle or tomorrow and if we are then when are you going to carve them and if you do are you going to roast the pumpkin seeds like you do every year and if you do are you going to bake them in multiple flavors like you did last year I really liked the cinnamon ones you tried although the garlic ones were a bit too strong but you can’t beat the ones with just plain old salt hey if you do carve out the pumpkins this year what designs are you planning on I really liked the one of the haunted house you did last year by the way are you still using the same book of design ideas or did you get a new one this year I can’t remember hey are you going to make more of those cinnamon pumpkin seeds because I really liked them last year and are you going to use candles or some other source of lighting…
It was about this time when Mrs. kkk paid for her coffee and told me to get the hell up. Well at least I didn’t have to hear about any more fucking pumpkin pie filling.
And when grocery shopping finally commenced, we were in the foreign food aisle, which is just a fancy way of selling you overpriced crap. As the better half looked at a bottle of Chinese (yeah, right) orange glaze, she asked, “If you pour this over some meat, do you think you could make “Orange Beef”? At least the comment I made afterward didn’t result in the smack I received being one that caused any bruising. At least not yet.
6 p.m.
• So I finally saw Spiderman 3 last night and honestly… wtf.
Spoilers ahead and stuff.
Fuck Aunt May for being a goddamn hippie. “Forgive” the person that killed your longtime husband? Bitch please.
Fuck that butler guy for waiting all this time before telling Harry that his dad was a fuckup.
Fuck Mary Jane for being a jealous bitch. And I'd take JJJ's secretary over anyone from these movies.
And I don’t get that Brock Junior guy getting all mopey for getting busted for taking faux pictures. First off, that’s a big no-no. Secondly, making up news to fit a certain template – I’m sure the New York Times would have had him on the phone the moment he got released from the Daily Bugle.
What’s this shit about another guy killing Peter’s uncle? And what’s this shit about “I didn’t mean to shoot your uncle”? Oh boo-hoo. You shot an innocent person. He died. You should have gotten the needle years ago you pissant – and I don’t give a shit if your kid is sick. What did you do for her in the end? Just turn into sand and float off, leaving your kid to fend for herself and hope the State can be a better father figure than you could, you lowlife piece of shit.
You want to know what the good was? J. Jonah Jameson, although not as good as in previous films. Bruce Campbell got a paycheck. And, I kid you not, was waiting for the line Harry says that’s in Black Lushsus’ avatar over at the other place. I was sitting there halfway through the film wondering what the hell is going on and thinking, “So when is Harry going to be saying, ‘so good’?” I also liked Venom Brock – it’d be nice if he was on-screen for more than five minutes.
Oh, here’s another thing that got on my nerves. In the first Spiderman movie when the Green Goblin was being mean on the bridge, everyday New Yorkers came to Spidey’s defense by throwing stuff at the Goblin and saying stuff like “You mess with Spiderman, you mess with New York.” In the second film, those passengers on the subway try to defend Spiderman from Doc Ock. What happens in this film? OMG there’s this big sand guy and black thing holding a chick hostage in a car way up in the air. Let’s all just stand around and do nothing. If the fire fighters can’t at least turn the hose on the sand guy while I’m waiting for my friend-turned-enemy-turned-friend-turned-enemy-turned-friend arrive on his hippie hover board, then I’d be moving to another city that would at least appreciate my efforts – and no, gay parades and keys to the city don’t mean shit when you’re having slabs of construction material hurled at you.
One last thing about the sandman. Great concept with the roaring face and all that – I liked it better the first and second time I saw it during the “Mummy” movies.
But at least Bruce Campbell got a paycheck.
Maybe I’ll better appreciate this movie upon a second viewing or something. My spidey sense is going off on this one, though. Or is that my ears ringing due to the wax removal drops I put in earlier today?
11:30 a.m.
• Well this can't be good. Earlier this morning the better half and I heard this engine noise from outside. After a while when we got our lazy asses up to see what was going on (my guess was the cable company trimming some trees from phone poles or something like that) we saw an ambulance by our shut-in neighbor's house. And the only thing worse than an ambulance at your house is when the paramedics don't seem to be in any hurry to cart you off. Not sure if the guy died or not (there's a chance he could be getting transported to a nursing home/rehab/etc.), but one of his adult kids was there with his wife and talking on the cell phone. My guess is that he was calling the rest of the family to deliver the news. If that's the case, then peace out, Mr. Auld. Saturdays just won't be the same around here without your family coming over and screaming at the top of their lungs during every play of a Notre Dame football broadcast, and I mean that in a sad way.
11 a.m.
• So for the past week or so the better half has been whining about wanting to see “The Happening.” Last night we went to the theater, against my will, and saw this piece of shit.
Spoilerz ahead~! You've been warned. You can thank me later.
If you didn’t see my post in the Movies Folder, here you go.
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Well, it's official. Mrs. kkk is no longer allowed to make selections for "movie night."
Replace the road with a field and I just saved you $9 (or whatever your theater's early-bird discount is).
If you go to this YouTube's page, the most recent comment at the time of this posting is:
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The sad thing is, I’m not making this up. Hell, I was WISHING for one of those last-minute SWERVES that M. Knight Shy-whatever typically puts in his films. Make Marky Mark part of a group of rouge scientists "plant"-ing poison across the Northeast. Make it a group of tree people trying to take over the world. Make it all a dream. Make it have something to do with lemmings. Make it something other than vegetation fighting back against humans. I guess the swerve took place during the movie’s marketing campaign, making people think this would be a worthwhile piece of entertainment. Well, it was rather funny. Here are some other insta-thoughts I’m typing up as I’m going along:
* Why the hell did the “second wave” of plant attacks take place in France? What about the Amazon rainforest or in a country whose environmental policies put the EVIL United State to shame? Hell, filming the final scene in India would have given the movie’s director a chance to make his usual cameo as being one of the two people talking before the toxins start up. It would have been a better appearance than the one he did. (For those that don’t watch credits, he was the caller stalking Marky Mark’s wife.)
* The plants attacked the Northeast? Good, wipe those liberal environments out. Guess Mother Nature doesn't have an electoral map.
* Not only did I think of South Park’s global warming attack during certain parts of this film, but when Marky Mark’s math friend decided to go back and find his wife in Princeton, I imagined a joke said by Gilbert Gottfried, “My girlfriend once said to me ‘kiss me where it smells.’ So I took her to New Jersey.”
* Like Smues said in the Movies thread, for as accomplished an actor Mark Walberg is or becomes, I can’t help but think of him as “Marky Mark.”
* I actually had some hope at the beginning when Marky Mark was talking to his class about why bees were disappearing. When the kids began throwing out possibilities (pollution), Marky Mark was shooting down the theories (there aren’t any carcasses – the bees are DISAPPEARING). One of the theories was GLOBAL WARMING and Marky Mark made some remark about the temperature shifting by a fraction of a percent. I’m not sure if this line was made in sarcasm by the character, but it made me snicker. Little did I know that WE DIDN’T LISTEN~!
* When you mow your lawn, does the grass get mad at being cut or happy because it's like a person getting a haircut? I know I feel much better after a trim.
I’ve got nothing better to do at the moment. I might as well rate Mr. Knight’s movies from least favorite to most.
Lady in the Water. I don’t even remember what most of this was about. Some fairy chick being chased by monsters and all the tenants of some complex unite. The only thing I can recall is there was some movie critic that made me chuckle before getting killed because the script didn’t go according to plan. I think M. Knight said this story was a tale he read to his kids. That’s nice and all that, but it doesn’t mean you should make it into a movie.
The Happening. For as awful as this movie was, at least it made me laugh. There where three times during death/violence scenes when I was laughing out loud, which prompted Mrs. kkk to say “Are you laughing NOW?” Yep. It was that bad. But at least it wasn’t as boring as “Lady.” Oh, here’s something I liked. Watching those two shithead kids mouthing off to some people that barricaded themselves in their house and warned Marky Mark’s group to get off their property. Hey, they were on private property. Actually, I made another South Park crack during this time. “Well, they was trespassin' and I was protectin' myself. I, I have my rights!” Zero dollars to the person to first guess what episode this line came from.
Unbreakable. I saw this movie only once and that was about two years ago. I’m not hating on it, but it was too slow for me. Then again, I knew what the ending was before watching, so I’m sure that played a factor in my indifference. If you like this film, more power to you. I can see why you would.
The Sixth Sense. Another meh from me. Then again, I knew Bruce Willis was a ghost the scene after he was shot. And this time I did not know anything about the spoilerz~! The kid wasn’t that bad, and I liked how he got “used” to the ghosts as the movie went along.
The Village. Wow, why am I doing a review of M. Knight’s movies when I really don’t like any of them? Trust me, this film, Unbreakable and the Sixth Sense are not all that far apart on this list. Why do I put this film above the others? Only because it dealt with a group of people wanting to escape city life – and who can blame them for doing so? They could have just moved out to the suburbs for a generation or two before the blacks and Hispanics take over, but if building log cabins and establishing forbidden forests is your thing, then who am I to judge?
Signs. Some people like this movie. Others HATE it. Me? The first time I watched this film I was thinking “Where the hell is this all going?” Then Mel Gibson’s family met the aliens and all those quirky things that we learned throughout the film (the kid with unfinished drinking glasses, the other kid with lung problems, the ex-baseball player with no bat control) finally came full circle. Was this all a coincidence? Or were each of these oddities given to the characters for a reason? You have to decide, but I have already made one decision long ago – I like this film. Yeah, I’ve heard the arguments about why would aliens land on a planet with water (a deadly substance for them) covering most of the surface. (And let’s not even get into what would happen if it rained, snowed or got foggy.) But I’m giving this one a pass.
9:15 p.m.
• And I thought it would be Joe Biden making all the gaffes.
Wow, and what a hard-hitting question regarding what dog to get his kids. Of course, later on in this conference a reporter axed a REAL question about taxing the rich, and Osama completely side-stepped the issue.
And for those who post at the other place and wonder why I didn't post here what I posted there, well here you go:
• So the better half watches "Survivor" and "Ghost Whisperer," which means she usually has this stupid gossip show on beforehand called "The Insider." Holy fuck is this program awful. Ever since the GOP Convention there always seemed to be a SPECIAL REPORT about Sarah Palin on this show. I'm not kidding. Every time Mrs. kkk had this garbage on before the cBS prime-time lineup there was a Palin Report -- whether it was SEX SECRETS or KNOCKED-UP KIDS or other things I had never heard of before. Last night before "Survivor" came on, and before I left the room because, I wanted to bet her that "The Insider" would include the latest PALIN SCANAL, either Gucci-gate or her opening the door to campaign aides with a towel wrapped around her. *Gasp!* Mrs. kkk declined the bet.
She was smart.
That was the lead story.
This prompted Mrs. kkk to shout out "Oh for God's sake!" and changed the channel. And what hard-hitting secrets were revealed about Osama? We got to see the NEVER-SEEN-BEFORE... wedding photos. Scandalous.
Oh, and to show my bipartisanship, when I heard Palin not knowing Africa was a "continent," my first response was, "that's because she couldn't see it from her house." Ba-da-bing! My second thought: "No wonder W.'s supporters love her so."
Hey, if there's a joke to be had, I'll take it -- regardless of Party loyalty. Fuck, it's not like the GOP has been loyal to me, big-spending bastards.
• LOL
LOLx2 -- I love my fellow red-state voters.
Christ, Osama sounds just like my ex-boss. You have to pick apart everything he says because he does so -- or at least when reading from a script. He respects the Second Amendment. That doesn't mean he won't try to rape it until it is just a pile of pink pulsating flesh.
Yeah, you'll just take the bullets away or sue gun makers into oblivion. You also won't be allowed to take your firearm out of its lock box. Of course you will have armed bodyguards.
Remember, it's your patriotic duty to question your leaders.
Might as well get these out of the way first. Rest of the games will be coming later today:
(2.5) Miami at Detroit
Normally Detroit, no matter how shitty they are all season, seem to get up for this one time they are on national television, but I feel like ruining the Dolphins' winning streak by picking them instead.
Tampa Bay at Dallas (11.5)
Dallas will probably win, although this is could be a letdown week for them. Because of that, I'm going with the upset or a close Cowboys win.
Denver at Kansas City (1.5)
It's a divisional game, and it's pretty much a straight-up pick 'em. I'll go with the Chiefs for the heck of it.
Arizona at Minnesota (6.5)
I’m eyeing that point spread with caution, but I think the Vikings will be able to pull this one out.
(4.5) Carolina at Washington
Time for Carolina to do that second-half-of-season run, and I’m only a few weeks late in jumping on this train.
Chicago at New England (3.5)
I heard someone today mention this as a possible Super Bowl match-up. Or should I say rematch? That got me the thinking about the last time these two met in the Super Bowl, with Chicago crushing New England. I also remembered the two teams making music videos. Most every football fan from the 1980s remembers the Bears’ Super Bowl Shuffle, but I also recall the Patriots song. I don’t remember much about it, but the chorus went something like, “New England, the Patriots and me,” or something like that. I actually preferred the Pats song over the Bears as a kid, and after re-watching both I remember why I liked it better. I'm a fag. Well, that and also because I think it satisfied my ADD. I also remember the New York Mets had a tune of their own, but the only thing I remember about that is some guy in the video treating several Met players like bobblehead dalls, and they beat him up. Ha. That guy was Joe Piscopo. Oh, yeah. I take the Patriots in this one; I think their defense will be too much for Rex Grossman.
(3.5) Cincinnati at Cleveland
The battle of Ohio. I think the Bengals will win and start a run for a Wild Card spot.
Houston at N.Y. Jets (5.5)
After a tough loss to the Bears and with the Texans coming in, I’d normally go with the Jets, but that point spread. Oh what the hell. I’ll take them anyway.
(3.5) Jacksonville at Buffalo
I’m a little surprised at this spread, which is why I’ll take the Jags on the road.
New Orleans at Atlanta (3.5)
Even though I think the Saints might be in the start of a predicted late-season fall, I can’t go with the Falcons with how shitty they have played as of late.
(3.5) N.Y. Giants at Tennessee
Like the Jacksonville game, the point spread surprises me. Then again, Tennessee can play a team tough. Nevertheless, I’ll go with the Giants on the road.
Philadelphia at Indianapolis (9.5)
First the Eagles lost McNabb. Now they face a Colts team that had its first loss of the season. I’ll take Indy, even with the spread.
Pittsburgh at Baltimore (2.5)
If Baltimore wins, hopefully this will shut up the idiot Steeler fans who think the black and gold are still in playoff contention. This is a physical rivalry, but the Ravens play the Steelers good at home. Throw in McNair, and I’ll also throw in a few touchdown passes.
San Francisco at St. Louis (5.5)
San Francisco has been playing well as of late, and St. Louis has been screwing me over. Fuck the Rams.
Oakland at San Diego (13.5)
I don’t like that spread, and I’ve won with Oakland losing somewhat close games as of late. I think that streak ends with a blowout, especially with what happened the last time these two played earlier in the season.
Green Bay at Seattle (10.5)
I’m taking Seattle, and I STILL don’t know who is starting at quarterback and running back.
9 p.m.
• So the kkk household just got this letter from the Nielsen people. Looks like we could be a future ratings player. Looks like the ratings will be up even more for OMG FAUX NEWS LOL 2008~! Man, I haven’t said that in a while. Actually, I can’t remember the last time I watched cable news.
• You know, stealing her purse I understand. But her cane?
Sad thing is there was a bit during “Don’t Be A Menace To South Central While Drinking Your Juice In The Hood.” Where a mugger robs an old lady and takes her walker. Let’s see if YouTube has this clip.
…
I give up. You’ll have to settle with this. Not sure what I like better: “niggasaki” at 0:47, the entrance doorbell at 1:25 or “the Man” at “4:07.”
Third verse, different from the first.
• Kim Komando comes in at number 24, and she’s some tech chick. Being in my local market, I’ve listened to her show a few times if I’m driving somewhere. Nothing special, but she’s managed a niche market for herself, so you go girl.
• Bill Bennett, number 25. You can bet that I have no desire to listen to this show.
• I’ve seen one-half of the number 26 Curtis and Kuby duo on Hannity’s radio and television show. The one who’s not the commie started the Guardian Angels or something. I guess that’s good.
• Clark Howard chimes in at number 27. He’s on from 6-10 on my shitty WPTT station, so I haven’t heard his show but once or twice. However, he’s been on Boortz’s show (they broadcast from the same flagship station), and I’ve listened to some hippie daily minute sound bite he does. He’s cheaper than me, and that’s saying something.
• George Noory is number 28. I didn’t care for Art Bell (How many times has he retired now?), and I don’t care for this kook. Look, if listening to overnight radio like this is your thing, then cool. I remember listening to Bell before the year 2000 hit, and some of the Y2K stuff he was going off about was utterly insane. Also, how many goddamn phone numbers does this show have? To call west of the Rockies, dial this; to call east of the Rockies, dial that. If you’re in the phone booth down the street, call the underground line. Christ almighty.
• Michael Medved comes in at number 29. He’s a Jew and reviews movies. I’ve heard him sub for Rush, and I’ve seen him on cable news and C-Span. Lots of people that don’t like the Parents Television Council and the Media Research Center don’t like Medved, so I’m sure there are some things I would like about him and others I’d just roll my eyes over.
• 30-32: Huh?
• 33: I know nothing of this Lionel hippie other than that his show got canned when I lived in Ohio in favor of Michael Savage’s show.
• 34-37: I’ve heard of Tom Leykis (34), but I’ve never observed him in any media outlet. The others in these entries are nothing to me.
• 38: Ugh, I wouldn’t mind Rush using sub hosts if many of them weren’t so awful. Roger Hedgecock is one of those who when I hear his voice I know I’ll be tuning in to Jim Rome that day. In fact, the only sub host I enjoy listening to is Walter Williams.
• 39: Pass.
• Tony Snow is number 40. I didn’t care for him when he subbed for Rush, but I guess I’m in the minority since he has his own show now. More power to him, I guess. Just don’t expect me to listen to it.
• Oh God, G. Gordon Liddy’s (number 41) show was on in Sappy Valley and it was boring as shit. Hell, most of the time he just read from the newspaper in a monotone voice that would make Ben Stein sleepy. One thing that did made me chuckle was his constant refusal to say “Washington Post” (he always bleeped out the “Post” part. Gee, I wonder why?
• I’ve heard of numbers 42-44 in one way or another over the years, but I don’t care about any of them. Also, who the hell is number 45?
• Mike and Mike in the morning on ESPN radio comes in at number 46 – I have better things to do with my mornings than listen to this.
• Man, Vern Gagne was pissed when Phil Hendrie was announced at number 47 while Air America people were ranked 20+ spots higher. Sadly, I have listened to his program for about 20 minutes one night while driving in an area that carried his show, so I can’t really comment on him. But if Vern and MikeSC like him, then I’m sure his OK. Also, anyone that does a character voice for the “Team America” movie can’t be all that bad (he was the voice of “Intelligence”).
• Never heard of numbers 48 or 50, but Dennis Prager (who’s at number 49) has been pimped by a few people I know. That’s all I got.
God damnit, I thought I’d be done with this by now, but I’m only half-way finished? Zoinks.
So the local RIGHT-WING RADIO morning guy I normally listen to from 6-9 a.m. is on vacation this week and he brought in a sub host, which is good because I’d rather listen to some guy who, although may not be all that entertaining, is much better than hearing some hippie “best of” show. I guess the guy slept in or something because for the first hour of the show I was hearing a “best of” from the sub host’s week on the show! Well this gave me a chance to scan the other talk-radio stations that are on at 6 a.m. Since the other “newsy” stations were playing hard news, I went to my second option: the sports-talk world. My God was that a mistake. Whenever someone complains about RIGHT-WING RADIO, they need to listen to this shit.
I first went to the ESPN radio affiliate in Shittsburgh, and then I headed over to the Fox Sports Radio station. Both spent entire segments dedicated to Alex Rodriguez and why he sucks. Jesus Christ get over yourselves. I’ve been an A-Rod fan since he was in Seattle (or at least as big a "fan" as I can get with professional athletes), and although I’m not going to buy his jersey anytime soon I feel for him in a way due to all the shit he puts up with from idiot fans and the media. OMG He’s making $25 million – we should be putting that money to our schools and saving the children; not paying ball players for playing a kids’ game! Fuck all you player-hating bitches. Just because some Texas owner overpaid a bit for him a few years back these class-warfare simpletons think that gives them enough reason to hate someone for taking the big payday. What really got me was when both radio stations were talking about how Mike Mussina supposedly called out A-Rod and a costly throwing error he committed in a recent game. So there I was waiting with baited breath at what this pitcher said, which was:
These sports radio people then proceeded to dissect this sound bite every which way. Goddamn. Don’t you people EVER bitch about a RIGHT-WING RADIO host goofing on some politician speaking on one of those Sunday morning news shows that nobody watches. It’s not like this is going to be the next McNabb/T.O. – the guy’s struggling in the field a bit and his teammate said that Rodriguez knows he can play better than how he is at the moment. Big deal. I’ve said before that I don’t consider myself to be a Yankee fan, but I don’t hate this “evil empire” because their owner likes to spend money. After hearing this shit for about 30 minutes, I turned back to the RIGHT-WING station to listen to a segment I had heard the day before. I now hope that A-Rod can stop doing his “Barry Bonds as a Pirate in postseason play” impersonation and win a World Series for his team by hitting .750 with 10 home runs in a four-game sweep of whatever team the National League throws his way this October. Maybe then he’ll get some breathing room to sunbathe in public.
Oh, and for the “A-Fraud” nation out there: he just became the youngest player to hit 450 round-trippers and has just notched his 2000th hit. And even if this guy never wins a championship, he has lived the American dream and will enjoy the rest of his life thanks to the fruits of his labor on the baseball field. How many of you will be able to retire by the time you’re 40?
6:15 p.m.
• So how was my Fourth of July? From Monday:
Better Half: “Let’s do something for the Fourth.”
Me: “Let’s not.”
“I want to go to the zoo.”
“Why? You’re going to the zoo next week with the niece and nephew.”
“I want to see the baby tiger cubs.”
“We have three cats.”
“We’re going.”
So on the way to the zoo, we find out that the main road to get to said animal hangout is shut off, probably for some hippie parade. We took a side road and hoped we could end up somewhere near the zoo. Did I mention the Shittsburgh zoo is located next to fucking ghettos and shit? Well, after a few turns we weren’t in Kansas anymore. I wished we were in Kansas. There would have been much less black people giving us thug looks and eying up our phat rims. We decided to turn around and backtrack, hoping we could get one of the fine city’s public servants to let us know what the hell to do. Well, when we got back to where the zoo road was shut off, we realized that now even MORE of the road was closed, and the officers were less than helpful. We took a road that we knew and go on during our daily commute home from work. As we were driving this road we noticed there was quite a bit of smoke a few blocks down from us. Mrs. kkk then said…
“Are they having a barbeque?”
No. They’re having an accident. A really bad one. I have no idea what happened, but some car was plastered against a telephone pole, and some young white guy was lying on the street. There was a crowd, lots of screaming and an old, white cop trying to direct traffic. Oh, and the totaled car was on fire. The cop asked if we had a fire extinguisher. We didn’t. Then we came to a familiar sight. A few weeks ago, this house was hanging a banner, accusing some guy named George Hall of stalking. Well, the banner was taken down a little while ago, but now it was back up.
Apparently, the guy is back to stalking.
Mrs. kkk was still hell-bent on going to the zoo, so we took the Parkway and tried getting to said zoo in this direction. Well, guess where we ended up? Yep, right back to that shut down road, except this time even MORE of the road was closed. Pissed off, we retreated back to suburbia and decided to see a movie. What was the movie? The fourth Die Hard film.
Now I’ve made some comments in the Die Hard thread about my concern for the PG-13 rating. After all, the suckitude that was “Alien v. Predator” achieved a similar rating when it should have been made to appeal to an R-rated audience, but whatever. I went with Die Hard because that was the longest-running of the available films and I wanted to get my money’s worth (a Jew to the end, I know). I’ll tell you what, how the hell did this get a PG-13 rating? Now I could talk about the actual movie and my thoughts on the fourth installment in the Die Hard series, but it’s so much more entertaining to talk about the animals I had to share the same building with for these few hours.
Let’s start with the fellow Die Hard movie-goers. Now this cinema was packed, which isn’t surprising considering the Fourth of July. However, what makes this aggravating is that all the sheeple just stand around the one or two ushers who rip tickets waiting for their movie to start seating. This of course prevents anyone from getting through to see their movie, which is already seating. And of course, there is an ELECTRIC MARQUEE on the wall TELLING people which movies/times are currently being seated and which others aren’t quite ready for seating yet. NOBODY LOOKS AT THIS BOARD! It’s not that hard. Oh, there’s “Die Hard.” Oh, there’s 4 p.m.. Oh, there’s “Now Seating.” Get the fuck out of my way people. Actually, I didn’t bowl over these old people in my way because I gave them a warning when I said out loud to Mrs. kkk, “So do you want to lead in the plowing efforts to get to our movie or should I do it this time?” The old people in front of me wandering around in small circles got the hint and parted to the side. The usher ripped our tickets and said, “Down this hallway. Fourth door to your left. It’s the one without a marquee on because it’s broken.” As we started walking down the hall, I heard the usher say the same thing to the people behind us. Mrs. kkk decided to go to the bathroom and I stood by the Die Hard auditorium door waiting for her. While waiting, several groups of people strolled by with a look of confusion. Yep. They didn’t pay attention when the usher said the Die Hard marquee was down. The better half re-emerged and two separate groups of people asked us where the 4 p.m. Die Hard feature was. Mrs. kkk pointed to the auditorium and said the usher told us it was the one with the broken marquee. Each time the people replied, “Well he didn’t tell US that.”
Oh bullshit. If there’s one thing I know it’s that movie patrons are among some of the dumbest people out there. Once an usher rips their ticket the customers zone out and pay no attention whatsoever to whatever the employee says after that. The better half said to me that when she was in the ladies room, someone was complaining to her about not being told where the Die Hard feature was being played. Yeah. Oh, and when we got our seats I went back out to get a drink and Junior Mints. When I passed this poor usher to and from the snack stand, guess what I heard him say each time to customers.
“Down this hallway. Fourth door to your left. It’s the one without a marquee on because it’s broken.”
So the movie started after 30 minutes of commercials and previews. Look, I don’t really mind wading through previews and shit because that just gives people who showed up late the chance to find a seat before the film starts, but come on – don’t play the same commercials I see on TV on the silver screen. Can’t we be somewhat creative? Oh, and there were two previews to films dealing with the WAR ON TERROR. Christ, people go to the movies to escape this shit. The only saving moment came during some commie “Lions and Lambs” piece of shit that Robert Redford made where Tom Cruise, who I guess is playing some warmonger, says some line like, “If you *do something* the TERRORISTS HAVE WON.” This prompted me to say, “If you don’t come out of the closet, the TERRORISTS HAVE ALREADY WON,” prompting a snicker from Mrs. kkk.
The other highlight of the movie-going experience came afterward when I went to take a number one in the men’s room. After I was done, I returned out to the lobby hall and said the following to the two ushers who were just finished cleaning up the Die Hard auditorium.
“Someone just pooped on the floor in the cripple stool.”
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with people? And no, it wasn't me that did it.
3 p.m.
• So this sucker client asked my co-worker on Monday to transfer from her account $6,000 because she was having medical work done to her and needed the money by today. My co-worker placed the necessary form/parperwork on my idiot boss’ desk Monday morning at 10 a.m. because he has to see and approve EVERY transaction we make. He finally got around to reading this request … at 11 a.m. today. Bwahahahahaha.
• Would you believe this shit?
Al Gore Jr. was going 100 mph in a PRIUS! And just how much gas was wasted by him going vroom-vroom? The terrorists won this round for sure.
10 a.m.
• Wha-?
Perhaps the upset Frenchies aren't used to seeing one of their own jogging in Paris rather than away from Paris when the Germans come to pay them a visit.
9:30 p.m.
• It's a shame Mark Madden wasn't on his ESPN radio show today. I was looking forward to his take on the Pats-spying-on-Jets story. Especially since it now has a Steeler angle.
Having remembered those championship games, it was more than "stealing signs" that got the Pats those wins. I'm still trying to figure out how they stole the sign for "returning a punt for a touchdown." Then again, it wasn't me that busted my ass all year for a chance at the Super Bowl only to get beaten twice by the same team. I'd probably be bitter, too. Hell, I'm bitter now.
Oh, and the Pats got off light, imo.
6:30 p.m.
• Boy it's a good thing Greg Oden stayed in college and didn't opt for the NBA and all those millions of dollars. Why, he could bring Ohio State a March Madness title!
Nevermind.
• I think there's a type-o in this article. It said reduce crime.
11:59 p.m.
• So the paperwork finally came through and I'll be working at another place of employment in '08. The question now is when do I quit my current job. For as much as I want to get the hell out of there, I just know if I do so Monday, they will do everything in their power to screw me out of my vacation/holiday time for the past week. Now I'm in the mood for some workplace stories, so expect a few in the near future.
12:45 p.m.
• Good boy.
9 p.m.
• Well that's nice. Don't pay your mortgage, get a reduction in principal.
Shit, this is even better.
If you haven't paid off even 10 percent of your home's current value YOU SHOULD NOT HAVE BOUGHT A FUCKING HOUSE TO BEGIN WITH! Go live in a dumpster.
• Every October the better half has an annual ritual that she does. She buys a pumpkin for each cat we have and takes a picture with them. Is this nuts? Yes. Whatever. We could be sacrificing goats or something. Other people do much worse. However, there is one bright spot to this story -- JJ is terrified of pumpkins. Yes, he runs away from these orange ovals whenever one is within viewing distance. You can set these things up along the floor and you could make JJ go in any direction you desire. Don't believe me? Here you go.
9 p.m.
• Now this is real fucked up...
...Imus is still alive?
8:30 p.m.
• I don't care what anyone says, this guy can coach my team anytime.
I wouldn't be looking for any work in the media or banking industries either, Mike.
2 p.m.
• Rush just said, "I believe half of what I see, none of what I hear." If you can't figure it out by now, then don't bother.
9:30 p.m.
• From this Web site's About Us section. The "Despises" section is great.
I'm so getting this shirt.
8 a.m.
• Do I really need to say anything else?
:lol:
:lol:
7:30 a.m.
• So there's a new SOMETHING-WING RADIO channel in Shittsburgh, and all I can say is alrighty then.
93.7 the Zone: Shittsburgh's MAN STATION.
Opie and Anthony 6-9 a.m.
John Steigerwald 9-10 a.m. (local guy who used to/may still write about sports)
Dennis Miller 10 a.m.-1 p.m.
John McIntire 1-4 p.m. (local liberal weenie)
Scott Paulsen 4-7 p.m. (local FM DJ)
Dave Dameshek 7-10 p.m. (No clue)
Loveline 10 p.m.-1 a.m.
John & Jeff 1-6 a.m.
Oh, yeah. This will be around long.
9 p.m.
• SPOILERZ AHEAD~! Trust me, you're better off knowing them in this case.
So I got done watching “Ultraviolet.” Here’s the best way I can describe it. About two-thirds of the way through, Mrs. kkk comes home from some Catholic thing they do today and the following conversation takes place.
“What are you watching?”
“Ultraviolet.”
“What’s it about?”
“Honestly. I have no idea.”
So this blood made people vampires and some guy who’s in charge wants them all dead so he makes this kid with stuff in him that can kill them, but it’s actually for humans so Mole’s Girlfriend kills a bunch of people because she’s feeling maternal or something. I don’t know. I really don’t have much of an opinion of this chick. Nothing against her. She seems nice enough. And I like her cheekbones. The facial ones. For some reason when I watch those “Resident Evil” movies I think to myself, “Why am I watching this?” But I do. I really liked the black guy in the first one who got diced. That was kinda Jewish – at least give a brother a chance to get away.
Well it looks like I'm not the only one to give this thing lackluster reviews. Oh, yeah. I forgot about those "Vampire Tears of Resurrection."
6:30 p.m.
• Oh Barry, I was going to defend you on this…
…but then I heard about this.
How about instead of going after Schilling you take on those people that, oh, I don’t know, wrote a book about your shenanigans? Well, I said I was going to comment on your "body armor," and I am a man of my word. I don't see the big deal about the "body armor," when the biggest target on him is his head.
• And while I’m on this subject, n*gga plz.
Honey, what Imus did to you ain’t defamation. If anything, you ought to be thanking him because now you have some recognition. Then again, you can’t blame a sister for trying to get paid – perhaps this will result in an out-of-court settlement or something. Then again, the "libel, slander and defamation" part of the article got me thinking to my favorite line of the "Spiderman" movie series.
"Spider-Man wasn't trying to attack the city, he was trying to save it. That's slander."
"It is not. I resent that. Slander is spoken. In print, it's libel."
Sorry, a little journalism humor.
10 p.m.
• Oh man. If the Muslims weren't pissed off at us already, wait until this shit starts showing up on their televisions. (Allah lets them own TV sets, right?)
LOL at the quote in the last paragraph. You just don't want to get your head chopped off. Yeah, MTV will start out by playing videos, but then you guys will soon have "Real Worlds" "Road Rules" and all that other crap that has spawned long after I stopped watching this station. Then again, I'd love to see those "Sweet 16" shows. "Abia wanted something special for her 16th birthday, but when we went shopping for burkas for the big day a man from across the street looked at her, which is the worst thing you can do to a Muslim father. So we stoned her and gave the offending oogler a goat."
• Wait, so now cBS news writers are on strike?
And here I thought all the comedy/fictional writers were already walking the picket line in Tinseltown.
8 p.m.
• The better half and I have to take our newer car for its annual inspection in a few months. I talked a while back about going to this one regular place with our 1988 Corsica that’s about ready to go to the big junkyard up in the sky, and the inspection guy said this car needed a whole bunch of work. Oh hell, I’m too lazy to type all this shit up again.
Well now it’s time for the newer car to get inspected. Mrs. kkk wanted to go to another inspection place because of what the above-mentioned auto shop supposedly did to rip us off. One problem. The place that she wanted to go charges $50 dollars just to get in the door. Now she was flipping out about this but I wasn’t. More power to this guy. Look, if he can maintain a large enough client base with charging $50 upfront he must be doing something right. Mrs. kkk then asked if I wanted to take the car to him. “Hell no,” I said. “There may be people that will pay $50 for the privilege of this guy looking at their car, but I’m not one of those people.” We’re going back to the first mechanic since the newer car is still under warranty and if anything major is needed (which is unlikely) then we’ll just go somewhere else.
6:45 p.m.
• So Jim Rome’s ESPN show and Around the Horn got all PC (as usual) by everyone going hooray for Illinois getting rid of the Indian mascot. Jesus Christ, get over yourselves. Don’t equate this with the white man wiping out the tribe of Chief I-Was-Stupid-For-Letting-Those-Crackers-Off-The-Boat. I feel NO sympathy for the hippie Indians. They had the home field advantage and blew it. My people came over, they saw, they kicked ass. Now I’m supposed to feel sorry? Fuck that. Yeah, whitey is a fucked up people, but it’s not like the Indians were these heavenly pacifists: they could tear shit up when they wanted. And besides, with the recent winter freeze I went through, there’s no way I want to live in a wigwam.
• I’ve been hearing for a few weeks that the Bears head coach Lovie Smith is one of the lowest paid NFL head coaches in the league, if not the lowest-paid. Must be RACISM! Or it might be that he’s employed by a bunch of Jews. Here’s how I see it: Lovie, you seem to be doing the right thing. Just keep your mouth shut and coach. Take the million-and-change and win another divisional title. Then when your contract ends go out there and get paid like a mo’ fo’. You’re a coach, not a player. You don’t have to worry about tearing an ACL on the field. You have a good team in a shitty division. Build up your worth and laugh in the face of Bears’ management when they try to low-ball you with no leverage at this time next year. I’ve heard from media reports that you like it in Chicago. If that’s the case, then you’ll have to live with the fact that you work for a bunch of tightwads. Believe me, I feel your pain. Well, maybe not so much since I don’t make seven figures, but I’m not here to do the class envy thing. You’re worth more than what you’re getting paid. You have to decide if getting shafted in the pocketbook is worth staying. For me it wouldn’t be, but you know much more about your situation than I do.
• So yesterday was Ash Wednesday, and even though I’m a confirmed Lutheran I still have to do the no-meat shit since the better half is as Catholic as youth sodomy. Of course, while beginning my meatless meal, she yells because I’m having double-noodle soup.
Her: “What’s that?”
Me: “Double Noodle Soup. You know, the kind you don’t eat anymore and I have to finish off.”
Her: “OMG IT HAS CHICKEN IN IT~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: “It says ‘double noodle.”
Her: “IT HAS CHICKEN BROTH~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
Me: “Well then I guess I’m going to hell.”
Chicken broth? You have to fill an empty Campbell’s can up with water to cook this shit. Even sausage factories allow a certain amount of rat poop into their product. I’m sure God has some quality-control exemptions. If not, then oh well. I’m actually hoping that I get past the Pearly Gates thanks to some package deal I’m hoping Mrs. kkk gets for all the religious shit she does.
1 p.m.
• I don't know why I thought of this just now, but those mobile phone ads featuring Dwyane Wade and Charles Barkley make me laugh, especially the one where the blonde chick thinks Chuck is Wade's dad.
8:30 a.m.
• Uh-oh. O.J. Simpson has to give up some of his loot to the Goldman family.
I hope this doesn't make him mad enough to kill. Allegedly, of course.
1 p.m.
• We all know some of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male (just name it, and it'll probably be true), but what about this religion's young-ins? Let the list begin.
kkk's Top 103 Posters
Number 14: King of the 909
It’s good to be King. Now being King of just the 909? I don’t know. From reading the limited entries in his blog it doesn’t appear that royalty in a state filled with illegal aliens would be all that appealing. Then again, if you were really King you’d be able to kill these leeches and then put a few in the heads of the Amnesty International and ACLU faggots that object. Funny enough, when he signed up for kkk Bowl years ago I thought for some reason he was black. But then he starts an ice hockey thread. Well so long to ethnic speculation. But back to “King’s Shit.” If you read the tagline to this cyber-diary it says:
Really? Well let’s see what has bugged Mr. 909 since December of 2005.
College Bowl games.
The weekend of December 12 in the sports world.
Smush Parker.
The media not letting the Suns/Lakers go.
MLB teams and their trading tactics.
Uncontentness.
His workplace.
Towel-head Thanksgivings.
Blog entries getting deleted when he writes a bunch of stuff.
This year’s March Madness tournament.
George Karl.
The Lakers.
The Lakers some more.
THAT’S IT? N*gga I have more things annoy me during a trip to the grocery store. But you can count me in as one of those people that don’t think soccer is “gay.” However, please don’t start talking about Europe Cups, Manchester United or whatever the hell is going on in that continent below us.
9:15 p.m.
• Well, we've been to London and we've been to L.A. Spain, New Zealand, and the U.S.A.
Europe, Japan, and Pango-Pango Canada, Siam, Oz and Kamoto
The kids all come from miles around
The party gets started when the sun goes down
A Holiday Inn's the only home I know
Rock-n-roll's alive 'cause we got the power baby
Crusing down the highway at 500 miles an hour baby
We got a fuel-injected tour bus, man it really flies
With a video tape deck inside
Let's go, rock-n-roll, everybody c'mon
Let's go, rock-n-roll, everybody c'mon now
Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, oh baby, touring
Especially with your favorite girl Touring, touring, all around the world
Well we've been around this great big world
And we've met all kinds of guys and girls
From Kamoto Islands to Rockaway Beach
No, it's not hard, not far to reach
American girls knock me out, ya know
Fast cars, cold beer, and rock-n-roll
America is the only home I know
Let's go Let's go Let's go Let's go 500 miles to Mexico
Let's go Let's go Let's go Let's go 200 miles to Tokyo
Let's go Let's go Let's go Let's go
Drive, drive, drive the night away
Straight on through to the break of day
Drive, drive, drive the night away
Well, it's in your blood, it's in your blood
Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, is never boring
Touring, touring, is never boring Touring, touring, oh baby, touring
Especially with your favorite girl now
Touring touring, all around the world Touring touring, all around the world
Touring touring, all around the world
...
Wait a second, I had "Rock and Roll High School" playing instead. Oh well, I'm sure I'm not the first to make that mistake.
6:15 p.m.
• So there was some crazy-ass weather to hit the region right as I was leaving the office.
My co-worker advised me to stay in until it cleared up, but my theory was to go now because the traffic would only get worse. Now there was some shitty conditions: heavy rain, high winds, some tornados spotted. However, there are parts of the country that deal with this shit all the time, so even though I was much more alert than I usually am on the drive home from work I wasn’t going OMG I’M SO FRIGHTENED like some callers on the local RIGHT-WING RADIO show were screaming.
Why am I talking about this? Because I’m leading up to my road rage story. OK people, when traffic lights are out and there isn’t anyone directing traffic, TREAT IT LIKE A FOUR-WAY STOP SIGN AND DON’T JUST FUCKING DRIVE THROUGH THE INTERSECTION. There was a three way stop that I just knew was going to be trouble, and this blue-hair just went on through. Had I not prepared for this encounter I would have been t-boned. As I laid my horn on her for the next two blocks, at least I got her to stop at the next down traffic light. Jesus I hate people.
Actually, I was a little concerned because I kept seeing downed trees during my commute. Especially since there are some big trees near my property. However, the storm lost steam when it got to the surrounding counties, which is where I live. Yet another reason why the suburbs rock.
• How funny is this? I live in the Shittburgh area and I ESPN alerts me to local stories. First it was “Jim Rome is Burning” telling me the Pirates got Matt Morris. Now I learned from “Around the Horn” that the Steelers have a mascot.
Steely McMotherfuckingBeam.
Que?
You know, one of the things I liked about the Steelers throughout my life is that they didn’t bother with mascots or cheerleaders. I guess I need something to laugh at after the Pirates stop playing in September and I don’t see the team’s “We Will” slogan for six months. At least the Succo's "Pirate Parrot" is tolerable.
Ha. I forgot about this. Thanks Wikipedia.
3 p.m.
• I heard about this when the story first broke. Sickening.
It's not even worth making some "boy, I hope this child doesn't do hard time but instead gets lots of hugs for killing several members of our society who would have probably gone on to do something useful" remark.
12:30 p.m.
• Ugh. Some asshole called the house at 2:45 a.m., waking up the kkk household. When the answering maching got activiated, my first thought was "who died?" But I'm guessing it was a wrong number because there was no messge and the Caller ID had it listed as a "private call." Bastards. I'm now crashing with two-and-a-half hours to go in my workday. If this would have been at 4:30 a.m., at least I would have been woken up 30 minutes before my alarm goes off anyway. But noooooo, it has to be two-plus hours hours.
11:45 a.m.
• You know, everybody loves the term "Limousine Liberal," but it just doesn't seem to pack the punch it once did. After all, the Left-Wing Elite seems to be wasting more resources now than they ever did, what with their fancy houses and overseas trips. I think a more appropriate term should be "Private Plane Progressive." If Rush uses this line in the future, at least I'll know he reads my blog.
8:45 a.m.
• LOL, on Boortz's local morning show, he just called former senator's Max Cleland's "chief of staff" a "little asshole." Awesome.
8:30 a.m.
• This was the highlight of Boortz's show yesterday, and I knew there would be someone complaining about this segment. I was right. Hilarious.
7:15 p.m.
• Remember, it's not only the U.S. that has stupid laws. From a survey of Brits about dumb laws from across the Pond.
7 p.m.
• I vote in every Shittsburgh mayoral election. Problem is I vote with my feet.
You know there’s something messed up with the left-wing Post-Gazette endorses the REPUBLICAN candidate for mayor. God it’s going to be great watching the city go even further down the shitter, all the while local politicians will be blaming the evil suburbanites for everything.
• In my neck of the woods, the township commissioner candidate I voted lost thanks to a huge turnout by the other guy 437-258. I always like looking at local returns and seeing the tiny vote totals. I remember seeing some in the past where one vote decided an election.
9 a.m.
• So here was my week in review:
Tuesday: Mrs. kkk and I were getting ready to put the groceries into the car when she starts talking about her one niece getting a period. She then begins to say how depressing it is that her nieces and nephews are getting older and all that other shit. I then made, in my attempt to get her more fired up over the subject, some remark about the niece is now able to get knocked up. Her reply was that she doesn’t even want to think about these kids starting to experience busted hymens and premature ejaculations. I then say, "what makes you think they aren’t already having sex?" Her reply: “They’re just starting puberty; they probably don’t even have pubic hair.”
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THIS JUST IN: As I’m typing this, why the hell were we talking about this subject in the first place?! Now back to regularly scheduled programming.
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Then came my chance to utter a line in public I’ve been waiting to do for some time. “If there’s no grass on the field just play in the mud.” Then I looked up from putting a gallon of milk in the trunk to see this lady who just got out of the jeep next to us give me a look of shock and digust. And they say timing is everything. Whatever, the better half never heard this line before and I had a fun time trying to get her to figure it out on the ride home.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 67: Slapnuts
OK, let’s get this out of the way.
There. Now I don't have to repeat these infamous words again for the rest of this entry. In Slappy's defense, I think he took the ribbings he received for his "freezing" remarks in good stride, or as good as one can get after something like this. Aside from the above-mentioned quote, Slapnuts has been known for other things, such as defending Israel from the mainstreamliberalpress and TSM Jew-bashers (boy that sounds odd coming from me) with those long-ass "Myth" posts that I never took the time to read due to all the words those things contained. He was also a member of the Conservative Brigade, and according to our last AIM conversation he is/was studying to become a lawyer, which is funny considering he said he didn’t care much for the people in this particular line of work. All in all, the Baltimore Orioles-loving Slapnuts isn’t too bad a guy, even though he will forever be remembered for a certain 77 words.
And now a word or four from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From the Real World’s Champion:
From EricMM:
From Cancer Marney:
From Bob Barron:
• Upon reading Black Lushus’ comment in yesterday’s entry, I got the thinking about Mel’s recent “Jew” remarks. I don’t have any of his Mad Max movies etched in my memory bank, but I wonder if there were any Jewish characters in those films? If there weren’t, then perhaps a post-apoplectic world won’t be such a bad place after all. Then again, black people will still be around, so a futuristic wasteland filled with devastation and nomadic tribes on wheels won’t be a complete return to Eden. Baby steps, though, baby steps.
• Just die already you piece of shit and get your one-way ticket to hell punched. I had to laugh when I learned that Fidel's younger brother, who is now in charge (for the moment) of that commie island by Florida, is the vibrant age of 75. And people goofed on the Catholic Church for appointing a guy not much younger than Pope John Paul II to be the next Pontiff? Oh, and I heard on the radio from a White House spokesperson that if Fidel should kick the bucket, the United States is ready to show the fine commies and wanna-be exiles of Cuba a better way to govern themselves via the democratic system. Really? When will they start showing us this system? OMG SELECTED NOT ELECTED LOL2000! Sorry for that, but sometimes you just got to let one of them out every now and then. And for the record I'm talking about "OMG..." lines, not Jews in concentration camps. If lovecraft doesn't deem that to be offensive, then I don't know what else to do.
• Oh today has been a fun one. For starters, the better half has been sick the last few days, which of course means it’s my turn to get sick. I was expecting, and I received. Late last night my throat began getting sore, and this morning my voice was kaput. However, since this is a busy time at my job, I still got ready to go to work. Not only am I a trooper, but also I was hoping to infect the rest of the building – I’ll have to wait a week or so to see how successful Operation Spread the Germs turned out. But it only gets better from here. As I was driving to work on a dark, rainy road, I suddenly noticed this rather large truck (think those U-Hauls with $39.99/day painted on the side of them) that began to merge into my lane. It’s always nice to see your life flash before your eyes when a vehicle much larger than yours starts to make its way to the spot you’re currently occupying. Fortunately I slammed on the brakes and swerved out of the way. After laying on the horn for about a minute I wrote this asshole’s license plate down, called his employer after I got in to work and said some not-so-nice things. Then, in a weird twist of fate, I heard the following on my local RIGHT-WING RADIO station:
Wonderful. So maybe next time when I blast on my car's horn in hopes of not getting crushed to death, I'll know that the red diaper doper babies who allowed the blind/deaf/mute driver to control several tons' worth of vehicle made sure he or she wasn't a victim of employer discrimination.
• CNN aired footage of terrorist snipers trying to pick off American troops.
I guess I could ask why the CNN didn’t show, in order to bring to light the “unvarnished truth” about terrorists, Michael Berg’s beheading. I guess I could also ask why CNN, and the rest of the media, no longer show footage of airplanes going into the World Trade Center, or the video of people stuck in the Twin Towers jumping to their deaths. Fine. But now I’ll remind myself that CNN is the same cable news network that wouldn't show those Danish Mohammad cartoons.
• Well, at least there’s one front to the War on Terrorism that’s succeeding.
NBC is ready to cut.
Mercury News announces layoffs.
Inqurer, Daily News layoffs expected.
New York Times quarterly profit falls.
Even in these troubled times, it still pays to see the silver lining around a dark cloud. Courage, Medium-Large Media. Courage.
I don’t even remember who won half of these games. This should be interesting.
(2.5) Miami at Detroit. Correct
I remember Detroit playing a good Thanksgiving Day game in previous years, even if they were having a shitty season. They even played well right out of the gate. However, Miami’s in the midst of “wait until next year” mode, when every player will be one year older, slower and more susceptible to injury.
Tampa Bay at Dallas (11.5). Incorrect.
Nuts, I thought I had a sleeper pick when this game first started. I then stopped watching and saw the final score later on. Ew.
Denver at Kansas City (1.5). Correct.
Because I don’t have the NFL Network, I have nothing to say about this one.
Arizona at Minnesota (6.5). Incorrect.
Damnit. Aside from those two freak plays that gave Arizona 14 points (a goal-line fumble return and punt/kick return if memory serves), this would have been a solid win.
(4.5) Carolina at Washington. Incorrect.
I can’t read either one of these teams worth shit.
Chicago at New England (3.5). Correct.
I pulled this win out by the skin of my teeth. I haven’t seen enough of Rex Grossman to pass judgment on whether or not to bench him, but he seemed good enough when the Bears were the talk of the league. I’d let him play through this slump.
(3.5) Cincinnati at Cleveland. Correct.
When Cleveland plays tough they certainly play tough. When the don’t they sure don’t.
Houston at N.Y. Jets (5.5). Correct.
I wonder how the local New York media is treating the Jets head coach now that he’s helped put his team in playoff contention? I heard in training camp/pre-season this guy was not the most media friendly coach in the league, which could spell trouble for a New York-based team if they are performing poorly.
(3.5) Jacksonville at Buffalo. Incorrect.
The Jags are yet another week-to-week team I can’t put my finger on. I guess those losses to Houston weren’t divisional rivalry flukes and part of a bigger problem..
New Orleans at Atlanta (3.5). Correct.
I predicted one of these teams to begin a late-season collapse. I have been looking at the wrong team all along. Then again, I haven’t expected much from the Falcons as of late anyway. And regarding Vick giving the “dirty bird” to booing fans – big deal. I have to wonder though if fans at this game will get Gloria Aldred to sue Vick for offending them?
(3.5) N.Y. Giants at Tennessee. Incorrect.
Ah man. I was on the wrong end of this fourth-quarter collapse. It was still funny anyway.
Philadelphia at Indianapolis (9.5). Correct.
Colts rookie running back Joseph Addai: 24 rushes, 174 yards, 4 touchdowns. I wonder how Edgerrin James likes playing in Arizona? Oh what the heck, I’ll look at his rushing stats for this year: 226 attempts, 695 yards, 3 touchdowns. Oh well, at least he’s paid. Hope he likes putting his body on the line for a bigger paycheck rather than playing for a championship.
Pittsburgh at Baltimore (2.5). Correct.
This game pretty much shut everyone up in this area about playoff possibilities.
San Francisco at St. Louis (5.5). Correct.
The 49ers gave up the win, but they didn’t give it up by more than 5.5 points. Good enough for me.
Oakland at San Diego (13.5). Incorrect.
Nuts. The Chargers couldn’t blow the Raiders out twice in a season.
Green Bay at Seattle (10.5). Incorrect.
Damnit. Missed by half-a-point. Oh well.
This week’s record: 9-7.
Cumulative record: 87-89.
Hey, I’m only two games under .500 – Time to get creamed with my Week 13 picks. I just heard on the television that Cleveland has just gone up 7-0. Gulp.
