You deserve to get into the playoffs after what you did at 0:12.
And LOL at the player that threw a snowball at 0:07. Also, one of the million reasons Alan Faneca is the man -- peep 0:37.
7:30 p.m.
• Remember when high gas prices were supposed to be BAD? This was from my local liberal fishwrap last week.
STOP THE PRESSES~!!!! You mean to tell me that when you tax an evil money-making company, that evil money-making company passes on the cost to the CONSUMERS? But ... but .... we're supposed to punish the evil money-making companies!
So I guess now when President Hussein raises gasoline taxes, it will be applauded by Medium-Large Media because it's going to fund welfare road construction. Actually, I'm not guessing on this one.
Jesus tap-dancing Christ, when are we NOT in a crisis? Everybody get in their bunkers.
• We could possibly have four NFL teams with double-digit win totals miss the playoffs but have two teams at 8-8 win their respective divisions. Awesome.
• Is anyone really surprised?
Hell, I'm starting to think giving out welfare to individuals might be the better bet. At least they don't pretend to be leeches.
• So I just had a Scott Keith's Biggest Fan moment. In my own house. The better half and I got a camcorder on Black Friday. She’s playing around with the thing and trying to burn her recently film creations to DVDs. I have no motivation to figure it out. Well, here’s a conversation we just had. Figure out who’s who.
“I can’t get this video to appear on the computer. What do I do?”
“I dunno.”
“I want to burn this to a disk. I’m putting in a blank disk and nothing is happening.”
“Are you using a DVD disk?”
“No.”
“You need a DVD disk to burn DVDs.”
“You do?”
It was at this moment that infamous TSM thread popped into my head. I’m dead serious.
8:45 p.m.
• So I had my gay-ass office Christmas party today. Whatever. I just showed up for the end-of-year check we all get. But more importantly this kicks off a period where I will be off work eight of the next nine days. Woo-hoo. Also, this means my new job is quickly approaching.
• What ... the ... hell. Well at least these Brits have free government health care.
• Let’s see, what exciting shit happened today. Well, the better half had a day off from work (again) and spent most of the day baking gingerbread men. When I got home from work I went into the kitchen and noticed each one of them sported different icing/candy pieces. She also named each of the dozen-plus she made. OK then. Well, to be fair, she names just about everything in this house, except for my gentalia.
• Here’s an update on the out-of-control niece-in-law that’s going into rehab. The niece-in-law and her crack-whore mother have plotted a way to get the state welfare agency to pay for the niece-in-law’s rehab. Lovely. And I told Mrs. kkk why bother getting a present for her niece when we already gave her a three-month all expenses paid trip to the rehab center? Of course, now the crack-whore is holding the fact she’s committing fraud for her daughter and whenever the niece-in-law doesn’t respond to one of her mother’s calls by the third ring the crack-whore threatens to call the welfare agency and spill the beans. God I love white trash. Oh, and the niece-in-law is back with her on-again-off-again boyfriend. There's no way in hell he's getting a Christmas present this year because they'll be split up (again) before 2007. Hell, they probably broke up 10 minutes ago and will reunite at the top of the next hour.
• And lawyers wonder why people despise them so. A few months ago this young couple was pulling out onto a local state road in my neck of the woods. Suddenly, two cars slammed into these people, and the woman suffered a variety of injuries, including, if memory serves, a broken pelvis, a broken neck, and the loss of her unborn child. This incident is finally going to trial, and the lawyer for the two punks who ran into these innocent victims has his clients’ defense as, “Well, they didn’t have time to avoid colliding with the plaintiff’s vehicle.” Would you like to know why? BECAUSE THESE TWO ASSHOLES WERE DRAG RACING AT MORE THAN 90 MPH ON A STATE ROAD!!!
• I just heard on the news today that Shittsburgh’s soon-to-be casino is going to be run by this minority-owned company. This doesn’t bode well for the NHL’s Penguins, who were hoping another group would get the contract/bid/whatever it’s called, because this company called the Isle of Capri promised, if awarded the casino, to build a new arena for the city.
Personally, I think the whole thing is bullshit. I don’t like having a casino in the area, but whatever. That’s why I live in Westmoreland County, out of the clutches of the greater Shittsburgh region. I’ve voiced my opinions before about Shittsburgh bending over backwards to build new stadiums for the Pirates and Steelers, but giving the Penguins shit every step of the way in their plea for a new arena. Of course, a new arena won’t just be limited to NHL play and would be an attraction for other entertainment venues to come to this shithole of a city, but why let common sense get in the way of kicking the Penguins out of town.
Come on, Shittsburgh, kick the Penguins out of town. Let them move to Missouri or Oregon. Allow them to play in a city that has a state-of-the-art facility and sweetheart deals galore. Give the team time to mature with its young talent. I hope they end up winning 10 Stanley Cups as the Kansas City Penguins. That way, when all the Penguin fans in my area start whining to their public officials about how they could have allowed the Pens to leave we can hear these so-called leaders say, “I don’t know why they left. We gave them every opportunity to stay.” Of course nobody will lose their elected seat over this because Allegheny County is overrun by Democrats, so I guess George W. Bush will be blamed for the Penguins’ departure. Hey Mario Lemieux. You sweat and bled for this team and this city. You did everything in your power to keep the franchise you played for your entire career in this dump. When the going got tough, you nutted up and became an owner. There’s nothing else you need to do to prove to me to show that you care for Shittsburgh hockey. Pack your things, move on out and make a shitload of money elsewhere. I might even buy a Kansas City Pens jersey to commemorate this occasion.
But hey, at least the Pirates are still here.
I must say, however, that I was surprised at who got the license. I was sure Harrah's was going to be awarded it because that company is BUTT-buddies with my sack-of-shit governor Ed Swindell. In the article I liked to above, Fast Eddie said a while back that a new Shittsburgh arena would be built "regardless of who got the slots license." I pray the Pens move for greener pastures and the new arena gets built only after the team leaves. That way the region will have a brand-new stadium but no hockey team to occupy it 40-50 times per year. Just another day in Shittsburgh.
11:59 p.m.
• Just when I thought Bryant Gumbel couldn't get any worse. During the Steeler game, Willie Parker got hurt bad on the second play for Pittsburgh. When it was announced that he broke his fibula, one of Gumbel's first thoughts were, "Now that means Fred Taylor will FINALLY get into a pro-bowl game." Jesus Christ, man, the guy just broke his leg. Can't we wait until later in the game to talk about this sort of thing? And don't think I'm saying this because Parker is a Steeler. Bryant also pissed me off a few weeks ago when he made an ass of himself during a Thursday-night Redskins game. The NFL Network ought to be glad they aren't on any "mainstram" cable packages, because the production value of its NFL games leaves MUCH to be desired.
8 p.m.
• (7.5) Pittsburgh @ St. Louis. The Steelers are slumping and the Rams are probably playing better than their record shows. The Black and Gold will score 27.
11:15 p.m.
• Let's see, you could have (see my 1 p.m. entry below for context)...
Ohio State v. USC in the Rose Bowl
West Virginia v. Virginia Tech in the Orange Bowl
Hawaii v. Oklahoma in the Fiesta Bowl
LSU v. Georgia (or Missouri if you'd like) in the Sugar Bowl
Then there would be two semi-final games by the winners of the above-mentioned matchups and then finally a title contest between the final two standing.
Or you could just have LSU v. Ohio State. Yeah, that'll work.
1 p.m.
• Well, it's been a GREAT college football season, and since the anti-playoff queerbos say that a postseason isn't needed for Division 1A college football because the regular seaon is like one big playoff system, then hats off to this year's champion.
The 11-0 University of Hawaii Whatever-They're-Called
I admit it -- I know jack shit about college football. However, I did hear once that there are six BcS conferences. Why can't they just have the champs from each of these six conferences, give a slot to a non-conference team and another bid to an at-large team and have an eight-team playoff? The first round could be your hippie bowl games.
Rose Bowl: Big 10 champ vs. Pac 10 champ.
Orange Bowl: Big East vs. ACC champ.
Fiesta Bowl: Non BcS team vs. Big 12 champ.
Sugar Bowl: SEC champ vs. At large team.
Want to add a few more at-large teams or smaller conference champs? Fine. I don't care. As I said above, I know nothing about college football (among other things). I just spent 5 minutes searching Wikipedia and came up with a better way to determine a champion in big-time college football than what's being done now.
10 a.m.
• Dude, you haven't posted anything in a while. What's up with that? Oh, yeah. I haven't had the time/desire to do so. Bummer, because I have yet to run down all the shit I bought during Black Friday.
Might as well Jew this one out. Here's a recent AIM conversation I had that has a couple good ideas in it -- or at least I think they're not all that bad. At least not as bad as my spelling. Holy Christ.
Fww76 (11:10:11 AM): remember the person i told you yesterday -- oil companies?
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:19 AM): yep
Fww76 (11:10:25 AM): surprise -- he has no job
Fww76 (11:10:27 AM): i told him
Fww76 (11:10:33 AM): start your own business
Fww76 (11:10:39 AM): lend yourself a shitload of $
Fww76 (11:10:42 AM): then ask for a bailout
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:46 AM): hahaha
Fww76 (11:10:47 AM): think it'll work?
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:49 AM): win
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:49 AM): yes
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:51 AM): god yes
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:10:51 AM): haha
Fww76 (11:10:59 AM): i just typed it not thinking
Fww76 (11:11:03 AM): then i looked at it
Fww76 (11:11:08 AM): thought, "damn, this might work"
Fww76 (11:11:26 AM): Uh, yeah, Barney Frank, I'm the founder of the KK Korporation
Fww76 (11:11:32 AM): my debtors aren't paying me
Fww76 (11:11:42 AM): who owes me? This deadbeat named *ME*
Fww76 (11:11:48 AM): he owes me like $2 million
Fww76 (11:12:11 AM): im sure someone's doing this already sadly enough
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER(11:12:16 AM): ford
Fww76 (11:12:35 AM): i'll accept them getting baiiled out
Fww76 (11:12:40 AM): only if they give the lions away
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:12:52 AM): to the government?
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:12:54 AM): LOL
Fww76 (11:12:59 AM): no
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:13:00 AM): let's see the government run a football team
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:13:02 AM): i like it
Fww76 (11:13:02 AM): but that would be funny
Fww76 (11:13:13 AM): be like $400 million over the salary cap
Fww76 (11:13:16 AM): nobody would get cut
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:13:43 AM): if the republicans run the team, they'll build a huge stadium on their players' pensions
Fww76 (11:13:54 AM): hmmm
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:13:55 AM): players playing until they're in their 50's
Fww76 (11:14:08 AM): that sounds more like the dems
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:14:13 AM): hahaha
Fww76 (11:14:13 AM): here's what i think the reps would do
Fww76 (11:15:01 AM): they would have everyone invest their $ back into the lions
Fww76 (11:15:10 AM): then take the $ and leave
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:15:14 AM): lol
Fww76 (11:15:16 AM): "oops -- FREE MARKET"
Fww76 (11:15:32 AM): wait 20 years, you always have to in order to see your investment gains
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:15:36 AM): they'd outsource the players
Fww76 (11:15:39 AM): lol
Fww76 (11:15:43 AM): NFL does that anyway
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:15:47 AM): true!
Fww76 (11:16:01 AM): Democrats would keep them until the 50
Fww76 (11:16:03 AM): 50s
Fww76 (11:16:07 AM): can't get rid of anyone
Fww76 (11:16:09 AM): jobs banks
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:16:37 AM): haha
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:16:45 AM): they'd lobby to expand the roster size
Fww76 (11:16:52 AM): lobby?
Fww76 (11:16:55 AM): they'd just do it
Fww76 (11:18:29 AM): sports talk radio will get the fairness doctring
Fww76 (11:18:40 AM): half-hour talking about how bad teh lions suck
Fww76 (11:18:46 AM): half-hour talking about how great they are
Fww76 (11:18:58 AM): "uhhh, they were winning 10-0 in the first quarter!"
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:19:15 AM): hahaha
UNNAMED MYSTERY AIM'ER (11:19:22 AM): now that i think about it, this needs to happen
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 46: Marvin is a Lunatic
Marvin is famous around these here parts for two things. 1) His love of high definition television. 2) Troubles with his love life. Rather than go into more detail about both, I’ll just point you over to a thread that has become synonymous with Marvin. If you haven’t made your way to this thread yet, do so. As for me, I’ve always had a soft spot for him. And while I’m on the subject of virgins looking to get laid, heed these words my poontang seekers: Don’t expect much going in because when a male virgin finally achieves penetration because it’ll only last 5-10 seconds. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience. Then again, I wasn’t wearing a rubber at the time. I might have lasted 20 seconds had my scimitar been properly sheathed. I wouldn’t have lasted twice as long because the latex would have dulled the sensation, but rather I wouldn’t have wanted to waste money on using a prophylactic for that short of time.
And now a word or five from the expert panel I’ve assembled to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Black Lushus:
From EricMM:
From Carnival:
From SFAJack:
From Kingofthe909:
• Who needs “Survivor” or “Hogan Knows Best,” when you have the kind of reality programming that I married into? For those of you that are somewhat familiar with my in-law family tree, bear with me for three sentences while I bring others up-to-date. My 40-something-year-old sister-in-law is a crack whore. Well, meth/heroin addict would be a more accurate description, but I feel “crack whore” can be used as a universal term for “loser drug addict.” The crack whore’s oldest daughter lives with my mother-in-law and has “supposedly” been going to college for the last year-and-a-half. Well, this 19-year-old is now headed off to a drug rehab center for three months. Why is she doing this? Well because a few weeks ago the mother in-law busted the niece-in-law in a web of lies that’s not worth going into. The mother-in-law then said she was taking her name off the title to my nice-in-law’s car, thus making the niece-in-law fully responsible for her car’s insurance payments; payments that are also going to be at a much higher rate than before. After the niece-in-law stormed out to live with the crack whore for a week or two, she announced to the mother-in-law that she was addicted to “pain killers” (heroin is the more likely drug of choice), and has tried to “detox herself” several times over the past three years. *CoughbullshitCough*. I’m still expressing doubt she’s actually going to go to rehab, and if she does I doubt she’ll complete the full three months. Why do I seem express such joy in other people’s pain? Because it makes for great reality television – and you don’t even need the TV set! And since she will not supposedly be home for the holidays that also means one extra gift that doesn’t have to be purchased. Wait a second: that’s TWO gifts because I’m sure her on-again-off-again boyfriend won’t be paying a visit either. The sad thing is that I wish I could trade him for her in regards to being related to a person; he’s actually normal, except for his taste in women. Then again, the niece-in-law was his first sex partner, so I understand why he accepts the constant break-ups and other bullshit that applies to “young love.”
Why do I “hate” the niece-in-law? I really don’t hate her, but I do ignore her for the most part (perhaps another story for another time). I think the best part of this story will be when she’s 30-years old and working in some go-nowhere shithole, realizing everyday as she gets up for her dead-end job that she had a near-free-ride toward a college degree and pissed it all away. She had enough grants/inheritance/etc. given to her to pay for at least half of her four-year undergraduate education, and that didn’t include the various work-study programs she had been accepted for, too. Of course, she actually needed to attend these university jobs in order to get paid, but now I’m nitpicking.
Will she complete rehab? Will she go back to college? Will she graduate? Will she get knocked up? Will she get back with one of her fuck-buddies who recent went to jail for robbery and act as the get-away driver in his next caper? I have to tune in and find out. Well, maybe not “tune in;” just listen to what Mrs. kkk tells me after wrapping up the latest chat with her mother. Even though you never really know what to expect from the script that life provides you, I have a feeling this story will end up with the niece-in-law being a crack whore. Just like her mother. This of course means I’ve been watching a repeat all along. Well, maybe not a “repeat.” I think “spin-off” would be a more appropriate label.
• So I bought three $25 Target gift cards for my half-brother’s three kids. Long story short: He lives in Nebraska and is a doctor. He got divorced because his ex-wife is a psycho and I rarely talk to him. Not because I hate him, but he’s a DOCTOR with THREE KIDS. There’s more important things to do in life than call your little half-brother to talk about the Steelers/Pirates/Penguins. In fact, he was a groomsman at my wedding, and he’s one of the few people in my family that graduated an educational institution other than high school. Well, the better half and I bought these gift cards about two weeks ago, but as of yesterday morning they weren’t mailed out. Why is that? Because Mrs. kkk wants to put each one of them in a f’n gift box. Like my brother’s two kids that are 7-8 years old are going to give a shit. But no, we just have to have them in boxes. Well the better half went out this past weekend to the local dollar store to get these stupid boxes. Then she discovered that these boxes, when opened, were filled with mold and this brown shit. Did she take that as an omen that maybe gift boxes might not be necessary in this instance of gift-giving? Of course not. She went to several other stores to find these gift boxes, but nobody had what she was seeking. So yesterday afternoon she began to CRY because this holiday season wasn’t going how she wanted it to be. Seemingly every day when she’s not at her second job she’s doing something with her mom/niece/etc., whether it’s holiday shopping, going to some Christmas school concert, or whatever. And what would happen if Mrs. kkk would actually turn down one of these Christmas concerts or trips to the mall? She would feel guilty. So when she goes to all these events/errands, this means she has no time to do what she really wants to do for the holidays – baking cookies, sending out cards, buying gift boxes for gift cards from Target, etc. The good news is that she finally relented about those stupid gift boxes, and I’m happy to report that I mailed an envelope with the three gift cards enclosed, and they are on their way to Omaha.
But the fun doesn’t stop there. A few days ago I made a reference to re-gifting a Blockbuster card for a co-worker at the better half’s workplace and was given a rude awakening about the policy Blockbuster has regarding gift cards. After going to a nearby Blockbuster to find out how much shelf life our gift card had left, I found out that there was only a few days remaining(!). After informing the better half of this, she went out and bought a much cheaper gift card for her co-worker. The reason she went down on the price is that she’s getting a bad vibe from this person. It’s one of those cases where this person isn’t showing up for work half the time, and in a way I’m actually proud of her because Mrs. kkk is one of those people who just want everyone to like her. Normally the better half would be bending over backwards for every co-worker, cashier clerk and nearby motorist to approve of her existence, but after her last job I think she’s starting to become a bit jaded with seeking approval from anyone not her mother. Yay, I guess. Oddly enough, I could give a rat’s ass what my family thinks of me, let alone strangers, so perhaps there is some truth to that whole “opposites attract” thing.
• The Denver Nuggets just got Allen Iverson from the 76ers.
Bob Ryan on PTI this afternoon echoed my thoughts about this transaction. Denver now has a nice little team with two great scorers, but they still aren’t going anywhere near the NBA finals. I must say that I’ve never had a problem with Iverson. The guy plays hard and never seemed to really have a strong supporting cast. Sure he likes to shoot the ball, but that’s what he’s supposed to do. I’m sure he’d be a bastard to coach and all that, but I don’t care. I remember watching some playoff games where he would get brutalized while driving the lane, yet he would get up and do it again next time down the court. Oh well, he’s financially set for life, so I really don’t give a shit where he plays.
• I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. You get an adjustable rate mortgage/subprime loan and you deserve what you get. I’m supposed to feel sorry for these people? Fuck that. Go blame your woes on George W. Bush.
7 p.m.
• Well this is just lovely. The better half went out with her parents and while they were driving down a two-lane road, some cunt going the opposite way wanted to pass the person in front of her and went into Mrs. kkk's lane. This driver then hit my father-in-law's car... AND FLED THE MOTHER FUCKING SCENE. Right now the better half told me she's fine, even though the car is not driveable. Oh, yeah. The bitch who fled the scene? The motorist she was trying to pass FOLLOWED HER AND TOOK DOWN HER PLATES. Bitch, you going nowhere.
Update to Terror/Smues comments:
Here's what happened. It wasn't the motorist who chased down this cunt. It was a driver behind the motorist. And guess what? The reason he did this was because he was hit by a drunk driver two years ago and was in a coma for 28 days. From what I heard, this guy followed the bitch until she pulled over crying hysterically. The guy then went back to the scene. The cops went out to where the bitch was and she was gone. She eventually came back to the scene after Mrs. kkk went to the emergency room by ambulance and said how sorry she was to my mother-in-law. Much to my surprise my in-law didn't do anything but ignore her. I got picked up by my sister-in-law and went to the hospital (there wasn't a car at my house), and when I gave my "She's OK" updates a few hours later, the sister-in-law and mother-in-law were both amazed at how pissed off I was. I was basically saying how "this cunt needs to fucking die." Of course, I thought I was alone outside the hospital but there were several other people on cell phones around the corner of the building who seemed a little ... scared ... of me and my ravings. I don't remember using the "c" word while on the phone, but I was in such a haze I can't remember. (The mother-in-law told the better half I said it, so I'm not going to doubt her.)
Mrs. kkk isn't going into work this morning, and I was afraid that she might suffer from "next-day soreness/etc." that usually comes with a car accident, but she felt pretty good when she woke up, so that's a good sign. Also, even though this wasn't too far off from being a head-on collision, the impact wasn't too bad -- the car's sides mostly hit, and the better half doesn't remember being "thrusted" or "thrashed" about.
You know, accidents happen. Driving down an icy hill, skidding and hitting another car is an accident. Not seeing a car because it was in that little section of your car that covers up your blind spot, even when you check said spot, is an accident. Bumping into someone in a parking lot because you looked one way, looked another way, then pulling up not knowing the other car was also pulling out right after you looked the "first way" is an accident. Trying to pass someone on a two-lane road, hitting the automobile in the other lane and fleeing the scene is NOT an accident. Oh, and the driver that tracked this bitch down will be getting a "Christmas card" from the kkk household.
Thanks for stealing my joke that was going to be used at just the right time. Oh well, you may have those fly rhymes already posted, but you ain't got deez skills. Now chiggety check yo' self befo you wriggety wreck yo' self.
Aw hell no. Damn remixes...
5:11 onward is how it goes down in the hood.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 44: Vyce.
With Canadian Chick in the #45 slot, it’s only natural that this perv creeps up right next to her, even if she may now be a bit too old for his liking. Vyce and I have this special connection, and no it’s not because we spy on all the pre-teen girls in our neighborhoods. (I’m just kidding, we just check out the ones with the hot racks and ghetto booty.) Rather, we are both in professions that we are ideologically opposed to. For me, it’s being a journalism grad. For him, it’s having a law degree. Now while he is a bit more liberal than me on some issues (he sure loves them queers), I don’t think we’ve ever bickered over some current event, so I guess that makes him part of the Conservative Brigade or something, even though he can’t properly pull off my OMG FAUX NEWS shtick. But then again, who can?
And now a word or three from the expert panel I’ve assembled to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From Lovecraft:
From Cancer Marney:
From SFA Jack:
• While perusing these blogs I’ve noticed a number of “Best of 2006” entries and stuff. This got me the thinking. Being the innovator of ingenious blogging delights, I’ve decided to P. Diddy-ize this idea and add some funk to its trunk. Here’s the deal. I’ll do one of these types of entries, but I want you, my loyal readers, to provide the topics. So in this entry’s comment section, give me what you want “kkk's _____ of 2006” to consist of and I’ll post the results sometime this year whenever I'm too lazy to write a real entry. The “_____ of 2006” can be a “best” or “worst” subject. Also, my answer may not be a subject or event that actually happened this year. For example, if Lovecraft would ask “kkk’s best horror movie of 2006” I would respond “Pumpkinhead.” But kkk, “Pumpkinhead” took place in the ‘80s. I know. But I watched it this year and laughed my ass off at how awful it was. Besides, it was the first horror movie I watched this year that popped in my head, so too bad. So let’s see how well (or awful) this turns out, if at all.
• I heard about this fight between some players from the Denver Nuggets and New York Knicks.I watched some of it on television, and let me say this sure ain’t no Pacers/Pistons. Nobody was even lounging on the scorer's table! Amateurs. Because I generally tune out of the NBA regular season, I thought this would be a good time to see the standings and find out who’s doing what.
You got to be kidding. Boston is in first place in the Atlantic Division with a 10-13 record? The Knicks aren’t in last place (yet)? Without Ben Wallace Detroit is still in first. Orlando’s in first place in the Southeast Division and Atlanta isn’t in last place? Utah is 18-6 and first in the Northwest Division (eh, I guess someone has to win it)? Ah, that’s why everyone sucking the Suns’ collective wang – they’ve won 14 in a row. The Lakers don’t seem to be doing all that bad, either. San Antonio, Dallas and Houston all seem to be doing OK. Damn, Memphis: 5 wins, 19 losses.
There. Now you’re all caught up on the latest NBA news. I'd do the NHL but I'm even more clueless about that league, what with those wacky regular losses, overtime losses and shootout losses.
These goddamn NFL Network and their hippie weekday games have my schedule all out of whack. Bastards. And fuck you Bryant Gumbel. I had to listen to your godawful commentary during the Browns/Steelers game. What the fuck are you doing in football anyway? Get the hell out of here and leave the play-by-play to your brother, Greg.
Cleveland at Pittsburgh (7.5) Incorrect.
Yeah, I got it wrong. But what I want to talk about is how Kellow Winslow landed a cheap shot on a Steelers linebacker only to have his bell run on the next play, dropping a sure catch. Then Joey Porter called him a fag after the game and gets fined. Way to go Joey. I’m being serious. Of course, should he knock him out of the next game they play, or commits a personal foul, I wonder if Porter could be accused of committing a hate crime.
(3.5) Atlanta at Tampa Bay. Incorrect
I have no idea what to say about this one.
Baltimore at Kansas City (2.5). Correct.
Wow. I didn’t know this was the first Chiefs loss at home in December in 10 years. Boy do I look smart now.
Buffalo at N.Y. Jets (4.5). Correct.
I forgot who won this game, so I had to look it up on NFL.com. I saw the score, saw who I picked and thought, “Why’d I do that?”
(1.5) Indianapolis at Jacksonville. Incorrect.
Well, now that the Jags finally beat their divisional big brother, I can now feel comfortable in picking them to outright win a game against the Colts.
Minnesota at Detroit (2.5). Correct.
I still don’t understand how the Lions were even favored in this one.
(3.5) New England at Miami. Incorrect.
Wow, the Pats got shut out. Um, that ain’t good.
New Orleans at Dallas (6.5). Incorrect.
From my prediction entry:
Yeah, that defense. OK then.
N.Y. Giants at Carolina (3.5). Incorrect.
Wow, and to think I thought the Panthers were Super Bowl contenders.
Oakland at Cincinnati (10.5). Correct.
The Raiders played a few teams tough this year, but I knew this would be a blow-out.
(1.5) Philadelphia at Washington. Correct.
Whew. Won this one by half-a-point.
Tennessee at Houston (1.5). Correct.
I’m glad Vince Young is doing OK this year. I don’t know what his stats are, but his team is playing better, and that’s all that matters.
Green Bay at San Francisco (5.5). Correct.
I have no idea what the Packers’ record is. Huh, 5-8.
(3.5) Seattle at Arizona. Incorrect.
First the Colts finally lose to the Jaguars, now Seattle can’t beat Arizona. Fiddlesticks.
Denver at San Diego (7.5). Incorrect.
Damn San Diego is looking good. Wouldn’t it be funny if the Chargers meet the Saints in the Super Bowl?
(6.5) Chicago at St. Louis. Incorrect.
I thought I made a good selection when I went to bed with the score still close. Then I saw the score the next morning and went “WTF?”
This week’s record: 7-9
Cumulative record: 100-108
Well, if I go perfect in today's games I’ll be at .500 for the season. Sure, why not?
8:30 p.m.
• So the better half was getting paranoid about some pinkish discharge yesterday (if I have to hear about this, so do you) and we moved up the scheduled doctor’s visit a week or so to today. Of couse the pink discharge couldn’t have been from getting prodded during her first visit (and everything else shooting out of her has been clear) but I digress. She rescheduled the appointment to 4:30 p.m. We went straight from work to this place and had 20 minutes to space. When we got to this office, which was on the second floor in some suite complex, I really had to go to the bathroom. Problem was, all the restrooms at this place were locked and this suite lost its key to the men’s room. I had to go down the hall and ask someone at that place for their key to the pisser. I could have walked down the road to a public facility and back because were waiting for 45 minutes. However, we were probably squeezed in so I wasn’t complaining. Shortly after we arrived this uppity bitch came in gabbing on her cell phone. When the receptionist asked her to turn off her cell phone because those devices interfere with the medical equipment, the bitch got an attitude and said, “Where does it say that?” The receptionist then pointed to the THREE SIGNS IN FRONT OF THE BITCH’S FACE THAT SAID “NO CELL PHONES – THEY INTERFERE WITH THE MONITOR EQUIPMENT.” I laughed loud enough to be noticed, and the bitch went over to the room’s one corner.
When it was finally the better half’s turn to be prodded, the tech person did her thing and it’s official: Mrs. kkk’s knocked up. The only surprise was that kkk jr. wasn’t as developed as initially thought, which meant the better half got tainted by me sometime in late November rather than in October. That just gives me a few more weeks of listening to the better half bitching about how much her back hurts from dragging around a living being inside of her. It also means that the gender is up for grabs. When we first went to the doctor’s office, she said that if Mrs. kkk got knocked up a while after having sex then there’s a good chance the kid will be a girl. This is because the girly sperm lives longer than the manly sperm. (I’m not saying this – that’s what I was told.) Then again, this makes sense because I’m sure the girl sperm probably nags the boy sperm to the point where the males don’t want to go on living.
It’s odd. The wife wants a boy while I’m actually more partial to a girl. I’m not sure why. Part of the reason is because I hate hunting and fishing, and I know jack shit about cars. If kkk jr. has a penis, he’d probably be looking to put it in some guy’s anus once puberty hits due to my un-manliness. Then again, the one thing I’m dreading about having a girl is … well, let me paraphrase these words from one of the better half’s friends, which sums up my fears perfectly. “With a boy you have to worry about one dick. With a girl, you have to worry about everyone’s dick.” However, all this aside, what’s freaking me out is if the baby will be healthy. I guess that’s better than not caring at all.
Awww, it has my nose.
So I recently got a Facebook account. Want to link up? PM me your name/e-mail. I have Carnival confirmed so I figure it can't get worse.
10 p.m.
• So I saw the following headline on Drudge: HITWISE INTERNET NEWS RACE: YAHOO OVER CNN.COM... GOOGLE TOPS DRUDGE... MORE...
Oh what the hell, let's give this a shot. I opened it up, and it was a PDF. I looked at the Top 10 News and Media Category Websites Ranked By US Market Share of Visits.
Yahoo! News
The Weather Channel - US
CNN.com
MSNBC
Google News
Drudge Report
Yahoo! Weather
OMG FAUXFox NewsLOL2008~!
The New York Times
People Magazine
I then went to Top Search Terms for News and Media Category. From the PDF file description: "The following report lists the most popular search terms for the 1 week ending 12/13/2008, that resulted in traffic to websites classified by Hitwise within the 'News and Media' industry. For example, the most popular search term was 'cnn' representing 0.69% of all search terms that delivered users to websites classified by Hitwise within the 'News and Media' industry."
Now I wonder why someone puts "CNN" in a search engine when "www.cnn.com" would make more sense, but whatever. Here is the list. Take a gander at what was #19.
cnn
weather
OMG FAUXfox newsLOL2008~!
drudge
drudge report
weather.com
msnbc
weather channel
cnn.com
news
caylee anthony
huffington post
tv guide
noaa
people
accuweather
national weather service
yahoo
jennifer aniston
new york times
• Get used to this. Today a state computer. Tomorrow your home PC (after they take your guns away first, of course). If the speech gestapo ever stumble across this place I'm fucked.
LOL
"State officials were unaware..." Yeah, I'm sure some Alaska public servant is working 40 hours/week going through other people's e-mails. Then again, there probably is an entire department for this. I may stand corrected on this one.
10 p.m.
• So one week ago I found out that the pill isn’t 100 percent effective. Just what happened on that fateful day? Well, Mrs. kkk was at her parents’ house and then I got the phone call. You can figure out who is who.
“I have something to tell you.”
“OK. What is it?”
“I don’t want to tell you over the phone.”
“Then why did you say anything?”
“I don’t know. I just need to tell you something.”
“What happened?”
I wonder if she found porn on our computer?
“I don’t want to tell you over the phone.”
Wait, her dad just went to the hospital with some gall stone issue. Maybe it isn’t about porn on our computer.
“Is it health related?”
“Yes.”
OK, so her dad has cancer, but at least she didn’t find porn on our computer.
“Well what is it? You expect me to just sit here and wait for you to come home and find out?”
“I’m pregnant. I took five pregnancy tests and they all were positive.”
Maybe I would have wanted her to find porn on our computer.
All in all, the better half was shocked I took the news as well as I did. Look, I make no bones about my feelings toward children. However, we’re married, own our home, have decent jobs and have a rather comfortable standard of living (at least by my standards). I guess this is the next step or something. The biggest concern I have is for the health of the fetus (or “the bean” as Mrs. kkk calls he/she/it). My dreams of all this being one big mishap were dashed when we went to the doctors on Tuesday and everyone was just going about this like she was actually expecting. No, “well, your positive tests could have been the result of too much fiber” or something like that. No such luck.
We’re not sure when the actual conception took place, but right now the docs are guessing Mrs. kkk is four-six weeks knocked up. Here’s how fun my next eight months are going to be: When we went grocery shopping this week, she wanted some Chinese noodle dish. After we got home she said she wanted me to make it because she was feeling tired. Christ, she’s going to pull this shit now? OK, so while doing the dishes already in the sink I made her dinner. After slaving over the stove I brought her food out. I went back in the kitchen to make my dinner. Suddenly I see her running with her hand over her mouth into the bathroom. Seconds later I heard it. “BLLLLLLLLLLLLECH.”
Now come on – I’m not that bad a cook.
10 a.m.
• Since I’m doing GREAT this week, let’s seal the deal:
Arizona @ New Orleans (4.5)
I was going to go with the Cards, but I heard that several Cardinal receivers will be game-time decisions.
Atlanta @ Tampa Bay (3.5)
This one might be interesting to see in regards to how the Falcon players react to their coach leaving. How much more can these guys go through.
(3.5) Baltimore @ Miami
The Ravens shot their wad against the Patriots and got rolled over the next week against the Colts. Now will they come back with a vengeance against the Dolphins or will Miami finally get that first win? Christ, I don’t know. If I go with Baltimore then Miami will win for sure. If I go with Miami, then this will be another one of those weeks where I say, “they have to win SOMETIME” and the ‘Fins don’t. Well, because it’s always fun to see the Ravens lose, I’ll go with them, surely giving Miami its first win of the season.
Buffalo @ Cleveland (5.5)
You know, I was going to go with Cleveland. Then I looked outside and saw how shitty the weather is and figured it can’t be much better in Cleveland. Here’s hoping for a close game.
(9.5) Green Bay @ St. Louis
Uh-oh. Favre’s playing and it’s a DOME. Wait, he’s already won in a dome this year? OK.
Jacksonville @ Pittsburgh (3.5)
The Jags always play the Steelers tough, so I’m sticking with them. Steelers will score 17.
N.Y. Jets @ New England (23.5)
Once again, I’m hoping Mother Nature does a better job of keeping the Pats at bay than the Jets.
(7.5) Seattle @ Carolina
It’s Carolina at home.
(4.5) Tennessee @ Kansas City
I have nothing to say about this game. Uh, go Tennessee-D?
(10.5) Indianapolis @ Oakland
I have nothing to say about this game. Uh, go Indianapolis-O?
Detroit @ San Diego (10.5)
Here’s hoping the Lions pulled a “Ravens” where they put everything out on the field the week before and now are ready to get rolled over. Come on, Lions. Quit.
Philadelphia @ Dallas (10.5)
Most people have been talking about the Patriots wanting blood against the Jets. How about T.O. and the Eagles?
Washington @ N.Y. Giants (5.5)
I’m used to this by now. The Redskins will outplay the va-Giants for three quarters and Emily will throw three touchdown passes in the fourth quarter.
Chicago @ Minnesota (9.5)
Now that Minnesota is the TEAM NOBODY WANTS TO FACE IN THE PLAYOFFS, I’m wondering if they’ll cast a stinker now. Actually, I feel kinda bad for the Vikings quarterback. He was getting blasted early on, but I saw a stat last night that said the team was 7-2 when he starts. Uh, yay?
• So I’ve just put in nearly a 12-hour workday here at the office, and what has been on this entire time in the middle of December? Why, the AIR CONDITIONING! Now you may be thinking right now that I’m going to go off on a bitch-fest about how cold it is in building and stuff. Far from it. In fact, I love me a cold work environment. My reasons? Here they are in no particular order.
1) Cold rooms let you know you’re still alive. When I'm in a hotbox for eight hours doing white-collar work, I usually doze off about five to six hours into my day. And if you eat anything remotely filling for lunch, you’ll be snoozing in two hour’s tops.
2) When it’s cold outside, you feel the bite of a breeze whenever someone opens a nearby door, should you be near a building’s entrance or exit. When it’s hot outside, you smell people’s body odor, or, worse yet, feet. Good God does that make me want to throw up my lunch. I guess on the bright side if I throw up my lunch I won’t fall asleep from it later in the day.
3) When it’s hot outside, I’ve noticed that if you’re working in front of a computer you tend to get fatigued more, thus becoming more susceptible to headaches and other fun stuff. With the cold, you have a better chance of not feeling comatosed as your day goes by.
4) You actually have an excuse to use sick days. Snowing outside? Hear about a commuter’s nightmare on the morning news? Fuck that shit. I’m staying home. If you want me to come to work so bad, then pick me up, bitch.
5) When I’m doing the behind-the-desk thing, I like to get up and walk down the hall and back every now and then. When it’s hot I sometimes forget to do this until it’s too late and the eye fatigue kicks in. When it’s cold, getting up to circulate the ol’ blood flow is more likely to occur.
So there you have it. Five good reasons why it’s better to be chilly than sweltering at your workplace. Now granted I prefer sunny weather to snowy conditions, but that’s when I’m not earning my paycheck. Otherwise, crank up the AC.
• So Evan Bayh isn’t going to run for president. I’ll survive. Oddly enough, he is one of those Democrats I don’t mind, much like South Dakota’s one Senator Tim Johnson. However, the Indiana Senator has been moving up on my shit list over the last few years, so maybe after another couple of bad votes I might start saying, “kiss my ass” to him as well. Still, he’s no Hitlery.
• Time has just named “You” its Person of the Year. Nobody better say shit about my Top 103 Posters coutdown now.
Wow. I remember when they changed their title from “Man of the Year” to “Person of the Year.” OMG political correctness. Then, in 2001, instead of choosing “Osama bin Laden,” who, like it or not, made an impact on quite a few lives that year, Time pussied out and went with “Rudy Giulani. Then a couple years ago they had some stupid “Whistleblowers” on; I think they were all chicks, too. With all that being said, I have to say this has to be by far the most retarded thing I’ve ever heard (although those three non-person awardees that the above article cited in its third-to-last paragraph are right up there, too). Well, at least until the next time I read something stupid from the mainstreamliberalpress.
Hey, you people elect them.
I have to LOL regarding "the rich" paying more for luxury items. Because it worked so well with George H.W. Bush taxed yachts during his administration.
I also have to LOL when people make fun of the South for being overwhelmingly Republican considering the Northeast is more Blue than the South is Red.
10:30 p.m.
• I like Charles Barkley. He's an entertaining fellow. But please STFU already about this.
As most of you know, when it comes to college football I know jack shit. However, once I found out Chizik was the defensive coordinator at Auburn a few years ago when the team was 13-0 and in a BcS "National Title" controversy I knew the "Number 1" reason he was picked. He's a good ol' boy that had success at the school not too long ago. Complain about that if you want. But when you, and other PC faggots, start throwing around the RACSIM~! card, most of us just roll our eyes and go "n*gga plz."
Charles added that Turner Gill would have won at Auburn if given the chance. Other ESPN pinheads have commented on Chizik's record at Iowa State. Fair enough. I wondered a bit why a 5-19 record warranted a career advancement. However, would Turner Gill have been successful at Iowa State after two seasons? Maybe Chizik was in a bad situation and wanted to get out. The Big 12 is a bigger playground than the Mid-American Conference.
Because I'm curious, I decided to compare the resumes of both Chizik and Gill. From Wiki:
Chizik
Gill
So which one would you take? I would go with Chizik because he played a bigger part in the success of the schools he was a coordinator at than Gill and his accomplishments. Guess that makes me a RACIST~! Then again, Gill's photo isn't on Wiki, yet Chizik has an image posted. Uh-oh. Could it be Wiki-RACISM~!?
11:59 p.m.
• So here I am again in the office pulling a 12+ hour shift to get shit done that nobody else cares about getting to our customers. (Well, I'm home now, but I just got back from work so this counts.) Actually, this one is a funny story because my idiot big boss (not the usual “idiot boss” I talk about) just got caught in a lie by one of our directors. Of course, it doesn’t really matter because nothing will be done, but it’s funny nevertheless. Here’s a brief rundown.
I’m to publish information for the next several months about something from an outside source within our organization. Boss wants to be the COMMUNICATIONS LIASION, meaning NOTHING goes to me until he APPROVES it. Fair enough. I get no information. I mention my lack of material to the boss on the day of my deadline to collect material for publication. He says he hasn’t received anything from said director, who is the “Communications Liaison” for the other side of this project (all information from her side is supposed to be filtered through her and given to my boss). I smell bullshit because this director TOLD me she sent my boss material. I give this director a call and she’d furious because she says she gave material to my boss WEEKS ago. She wants to talk to my boss. No problem.
This is when it gets good.
My boss tells the director, after she tells him that she sent him e-mails containing materials she wanted published, that there were no attachments in her e-mails with the information in question. Riiiiiiiight. When I heard this b.s. I told the director that she could go into her “sent” archive and look at the messages she sent out and see if there was an attachment included. (She’s not the most tech-savvy person out there.) Turns out the director didn’t even need to do that because during this conversation between my boss and director my boss was reading a piece of information the director wanted published and thought he was reading from an old document. Nope. He was reading from a document that she e-mailed him – you know, that attachment he said he never got.
Oops.
Long story short: Because my boss did NOTHING while COMMUNICATIONS LIASION, I get to do a shitload of work on a Saturday. Because as it turns out, the information wasn’t nearly enough to cover the reserved space I was told to set aside. Now if I would have received this information in a timely manner, this wouldn’t have been a big deal. However, when it’s post-deadline it becomes a big deal. But you know what – that’s OK. I spent 12 hours in the office when nobody else was there, and I’ll be spending that time at home on December 28 when everyone else is there. Oh, and I’ll be spending that extra chunk of time at an office Christmas party this Thursday – the office Christmas party to my new job.
[Now you could have said that I should have reminded my boss earlier about my lack of material. Fair enough. However, after four years I've learned that it's best to just keep your mouth shut until something is due because I'm dealing with people who can't do their jobs and I'm not their mommy. Believe me, I knew about this lack of content and prepared for it. Because of this, I'm still right on schedule to my bigger deadlines. Oh, yeah, I also had to manually stuff 1,000+ envelopes, which I was told by my boss TWICE that this menial task that really should be outsourced, was more important to do than the job I was hired to perform. Any more questions as to why a) I'm leaving, and b) I try to keep my distance from these people?]
It’s odd. I’m seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, and I must admit this is a pretty awesome feeling. The last time I left a job to take another one in the immediate vicinity was in 1995 when I was in community college. (Well, that job I went to I ended up getting fired from, so if you want to count that one instead then my last time I jumped jobs was 1996.) Otherwise, every job I’ve had since then I left because I was moving 3-5 hours away. Man is this a great feeling. You think about “well, this will be the last time I have to deal with this shit,” or “no problem, I won’t have to bother with this again.” My only question now is when should I give my notice. Here’s my problem. I’m an hourly employee, which I prefer because then you don’t get fucked over (as much) when it comes to what you work and what you get paid for. We have pay periods that span two weeks. I have four days off during the week of December 24-28 (two holiday, one vacation, one from the hours I worked above). If I give my notice now, I wouldn’t be surprised if they tried to screw me out of this money. So I have to wait until Thursday January 3 when my check gets direct deposited at 12:01 a.m. before saying “see ya.” Now I would stay two weeks after the first week of January, but there’s a catch. I would want my vacation/sick days for 2008 cashed out. In advance. I know they would never do that, so the only thing I’m pondering is this:
1) Do I come in, give my resignation, say “see ya” and leave?
or
2) Do I just put my letter on my boss’ desk and disappear with all my belongings?
I’m still undecided on this one. As much as I want to see the look of shock (or perhaps lack thereof), I think it would be equally awesome just to have me like I was never there and when they go into my office all they see is nothing. Either way, I got about two weeks to decide.
8 p.m.
• Gimmie Cincy over the 49ers.
• I told you that Karl Rove was a genius. Getting our hopes all down about Democrats taking charge only to toy with our emotions weeks later by offing a senator under the guise of a medical condition and beginning the eventual takeover of Congress once again.
Actually, I feel for the guy from South Dakota. He seemed to be sane enough for a Democrat. It’s a shame this didn’t happen to, say, a certain Senator from New York. Actually, I wouldn’t have cared if it happened to Hitlery or Schmuck Jewmer. Any you know what? Even if the guy dies and that state’s Republican governor picks one of his own, it’s not really going to matter. Yeah, the Senate will be split, giving Dick Cheney the tie-breaking vote, but so what? It’s the SENATE. It’s Republican-lite. Arlen Specter. Susan Collins. Olympia Snow. How the hell are they in the same party as me? Whatever.
• Wait a second. Is this the chick from the American Pie movies who was the girl who gave all sorts of love advice but never got a dicking of her own? Now I know why.
• Oh no, Judith Regan got canned by Rupert Murdoch.
Like I’m supposed to care. But hey, it’s in red text on Drudge’s Web site, so this must be important.
• So I haven’t watched ESPN’s Pardon the Interruption in a while and decided to tune in. And what do I see? Kommie Kornheiser acting like goddamn pussy because some guy from the Chicago Bears got busted for having an invalid gun permit for a half-dozen firearms in his house. Christ, I thought Tony was going to shit himself regarding this story. What’s the big deal? Brotha’s gotta protect his crib. Then Tony has to remind us all about how much he hates guns and that they’re bad and shit. Normally I bitch about Wilbon during this show, but I have to give Tony an open-handed slap across the face this time.
• Although the critics who say what this mayor did was patronizing, I feel for the poor theater ushers who had to clean up the mess these crazy people probably made while sitting through this movie.
• I was going to make a joke about what ever will black people do now that they’re no longer “king of the mountain,” until I realized that Indian penises were too small for condoms. I bet Asians are feeling mighty good about themselves right about now.
• Eh, I knew someone who beat off into pizzas at his job. No, it wasn’t me. With all the crap jobs I’ve worked over the years, two places I’ll never work are grocery stores and pizza joints. No, I don’t consider myself better than those who bag my groceries or knead my dough. I’m just a lazy bastard.
Actually, this part of the story had me laughing.
Well no shit. But then again, I'm sure there were at least one or two who got turned on by this.
San Francisco at Seattle (9.5)
Normally I’d be going with Seattle, but they really haven’t been blowing out these NFC West teams like they have in the past. Go 49ers.
(3.5) Dallas at Atlanta
The Cowboys got blown out at home on NATIONAL TELEVISION and the Falcons won against the Buccaneers. I’ll stick with the Cowboys.
Cleveland at Baltimore (11.5)
I’m not sure what to do with this one. Sure the Ravens are way better than the Browns, but this is a divisional game. And AFC North rivalry games can be zany. However, the Bengals blew out the Browns a few weeks back, and the Steelers made up for their near-defeat at Cleveland by trouncing them weeks later. Yay Ravens.
Detroit at Green Bay (5.5)
It’ll probably be cold out. Detroit sucks.
Houston at New England (11.5)
Uh oh. The Pats are favored by nearly a dozen points against a crappy team. Now will they continue to struggle or will take their aggressions out against the Texans. I got burned with New England against Detroit. I’ll now side with the Texans in a blow-out game so I can bitch next week that I should have stuck with the Pats.
(3.5) Jacksonville at Tennessee
Uh oh. Another game I don’t have an initial feeling on. I’m in an upset mood: I’ll take the Titans.
Miami at Buffalo (1.5)
Miami shut out New England. I smell let-down game. But Buffalo is favored by only 1.5 at home? I’ll take the Dolphins in a last-second change of picks.
N.Y. Jets at Minnesota (3.5)
I’ve been hoping that the Vikings would be a break-out team this year, but it looks like they are just run-of-the-mill. I don’t know if I should take them because I’m guessing the Jets will flop these last few weeks. Drat. I’ll go with the Jets anyway.
Philadelphia at N.Y. Giants (5.5)
I’m so going with Philly in this one. I don't know why.
(3.5) Pittsburgh at Carolina
How the hell are the Steelers favored? I was going to pick them thinking that the Panthers would be the favored team. Now I don’t know what to do. I go with the Panthers.
Tampa Bay at Chicago (13.5)
I’ll hope the Bucs can score a late-game touchdown to bring the contest to within 13 points.
Washington at New Orleans (9.5)
Washington won a game or two lately, so I’ll hope they can score a late game touchdown to bring the contest to within 9 points.
(2.5) Denver at Arizona
Denver has been off as of late, but are they really that off to only be favored by less than three points? I’ll stick with them anyway.
Kansas City at San Diego (8.5)
Here’s hoping Kansas City can keep it close.
St. Louis at Oakland (2.5)
Oakland is favored? Give me the Rams.
Cincinnati at Indianapolis (3.5)
Hmm. Indy is slumping and Cincy is getting hot. Will this game spell impending doom for the Colts? I’m going to guess Indianapolis wakes up to the call and wins by more than a field goal. This is still the regular season, after all.
9 p.m.
• So one of my many unfunny running gags is the “one of the worst things you can do to a Muslim male” quips I occasionally do around here. Could another one of these lines be “global warming causes fill-in-the-blank.”
• I heard this story on the radio today and had to roll my eyes.
I wonder why? How about because those that don’t pull all-nighters have already STUDIED and actually took the time to LEARN? I remember in college I transferred my credits from a community college to a four-year institution. Even though all my credits transferred, there were a few “intro” classes I had to sit through. So there I was, one of the few “upper classmen” in a room full of freshmen (and women, wouldn’t want to offend anyone). I was an oddball because I actually completed my midterm assignment early and actually turned in my work a few days before it was due. However, I remember hearing a few of my younger classmates talk to one another on the day this paper was due and bragging about how late they stayed up the night before to complete this assignment. A week or two later I heard these same people complain about the grade they got. One of my favorite lines was, “This isn’t fair. Do you know how long I worked on this?”
Oh, and want to know the source of this survey?
One-hundred twenty students? Good God.
Agreed. Plus you are in such a rush that you don’t really accomplish anything. Whenever I’m working on a project, I never turn it in on the same day I produce the material. Unless I’m given something on the same day it’s due, I’ll always complete an assignment, leave for the day and look over it the next day. Works for me.
I normally don't pay attention to the NFL's Thursday Night Game, so I didn't know who won/covered the spread. After going through your picks this week I now know New Orleans was the victor -- either outright or the team lost by less than 3.5 points. Thanks for saving me a trip to NFL.com.
1 p.m.
• So the guy from Oklahoma won the Heisman. Whatever. I was pulling for Colt, but this guy had the bigger numbers 'n stuff. Not like any of this matters in the NFL, though.
• And last night while having SportsCenter on as background noise, I got to hear this gem. Some idiot anchor was trying to make a connection with the RECSSSION and people getting there jobs turk'en with the plethora of NBA coaches getting fired. Uh, dipshit, NBA coaches getting fired isn't quite the same as Joe Blow getting laid off because his business is closing. Why can't you idiots just stick to reading scores? Even Jay Harris, who is probably my favorite SportsCenter anchor, was acting a fool alongside this other guy, who I saw host a NFL Live once in a while but that's about it. Ugh.
8:30 p.m.
• Oh
Lenny Dykstra
David Segui
Larry Bigbie
Brian Roberts
Jack Cust
Tim Laker
Josias Manzanillo
Todd Hundley
Mark Carreon
Hal Morris
Matt Franco
Rondell White
Andy Pettitte
Roger Clemens
Chuck Knoblauch
Jason Grimsley
Gregg Zaun
David Justice
F.P. Santangelo
Glenallen Hill
Mo Vaughn
Denny Neagle
Ron Villone
Ryan Franklin
Chris Donnels
Todd Williams
Phil Hiatt
Todd Pratt
Kevin Young
Mike Lansing
Cody McKay
Kent Mercker
Adam Piatt
Miguel Tejada
Jason Christiansen
Mike Stanton
Stephen Randolph
Jerry Hairston
Paul Lo Duca
Adam Riggs
Bart Miadich
Fernando Vina
Kevin Brown
Eric Gagne
Mike Bell
Matt Herges
Gary Bennett
Jim Parque
Brendan Donnelly
Chad Allen
Jeff Williams
Exavier "Nook" Logan
Howie Clark
Paxton Crawford
Ken Caminiti
Rafael Palmeiro
Luis Perez
Derrick Turnbow
Ricky Bones
Ricky Stone
Rick Ankiel
David Bell
Paul Byrd
Jose Canseco
Jay Gibbons
Troy Glaus
Jason Grimsley
Jose Guillen
Darren Holmes
Gary Matthews Jr.
John Rocker
Scott Schoeneweis
Ismael Valdez
Matt Williams
Steve Woodard
Benito Santiago
Gary Sheffield
Randy Velarde
Jason Giambi
Jeremy Giambi
Bobby Estalella
Barry Bonds
Marvin Benard
How could you do it – CHEATING!?!?!? My national pastime is RUINED~!
8:15 p.m.
• Denver will beat Houston. I was filling in my kkk Bowl scores so I get a break.
KKK’s Top 103 Posters
Number 45: Canadian Chick
There is quite a bit of testosterone when it comes to message boards that deal with pro wrestling, so whenever a female poster steps forward it’s like a needle pricking your thumb while goofing around in a stack of hay. Now while some females, when presented with this situation, may enjoy the attention, I’m sure there are others who dread the stalkish-like behavior they have to deal with. Having seen Canadian Chick do
I’m quite certain that not only can she blend in as being one of the guys (at least on the days where she’s not ragging it) but she could also probably pummel many of us with snap suplexes, half-nelsons or whatever those things are. Damaramu being first in line, of course.
And now a word or four from the expert panel I’ve assembled to comment on the people I’ve listed.
From EricMM:
From Carnival:
From SFA Jack:
From Cancer Marney:
• While talking via AIM to one of my Internet chums, we got into a conversation about “what is love.” (Wow, that sounded gay.) To make a long story short, I was explaining to him then when tell someone that you love them, at that point you should expect to spend the rest of your life with that person. After all, if you “love” someone, then nothing should deter you from your one true soul mate. Perhaps I’m a little extreme when it comes to this subject, but I have always sparingly used the “l” word. Now of course I’ve said “I love that movie” or “I love that song,” but that’s not the same thing, in my opinion, when sitting next to someone you’ve been dating for a year or so and saying, “I love you.” In this context, I have said the “l” word twice in my life, although I only meant it once. The first time was with the first relationship I had that lasted longer than a trip to the amusement park or an all-night kegger. For months, the ex-better half kept saying how she “loved” me (God knows why), and I would say that I couldn’t reply back because I didn’t know if I felt the same. Sure I cared for her and all that shit, but I always prided myself in not faking my emotions. After a while, like a beaten POW, I relented after some stupid fight (I can’t remember what it was about), but we both knew I was just saying it to shut her up. Shortly after we broke up (she did the dumping, I was the dumpee, but it was only a matter of time before one of us pulled the plug on this go-nowhere relationship). A few years later when I met Mrs. kkk, I uttered the “l” word again, and so far it’s been nine-plus years, so I think I’m holding up my end of this bargain.
• David Duke calls the Holocaust a lie; would you expect anything different? I figure enough people are going to bitch about this, so why should I pile on when there’s plenty of other people to rag on, like that useless piece of shit Kofi Annan. Acutally, the holocaust denier I’m more concerned about is Iran’s Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. One of these two Jew-haters will probably soon be able to launch a nuclear attack. The other one is a redneck. A follower to one of these two, in an effort to retaliate at you and your Jew passenger, will spit on your car’s windshield and wave a Confederate flag. A follower to the other nutjob will retaliate by blowing himself up. Oh, and by the way, how do we really know all those bodies were the result of concentration camps? Maybe some German hotel had a really good deal and too many Jews arrived, leaving many without coats out in the cold. Damn revisionist textbooks.
9:15 p.m.
• So I’m in a bit of a predicament. A week or so ago I got the James Bond DVDs – all four volumes – and finally got around to opening them up and checking them for quality and all that other stuff. I noticed that in two of the 20 disc cases that some of those little prong thingys are busted off and “Goldeneye” seems to have a noticeable ding. Now do I go back and get these discs exchanged? I don’t buy used DVDs because I don’t trust the viewing quality. CDs and video games are fine. If a used CD has a skipped track, then I just move to the next song. If a movie has a similar malfunction then the whole viewing experience is gone. However, this is America. The land of rugged individualism. It’s not like I didn’t actually pay retail price for these movies. Besides, I fast-forwarded through “Goldeneye” last night and everything was fine. I also moved the two discs from the busted prong holders and put each one on the other prong thingy in each disc case. I don’t really watch special features anyway, so if there was going to be any damage done it would be to those discs.
Now my biggest problem is to decide whether or not to watch these movies in chronological order or by the order in which they are place in each of these four volumes followed by “Casino Royals.” What a quandary. Good thing I don’t have anything else to fret about.
• Peep this.
What I find funny is the dateline to this story: Detroit. Then I read the next paragraph.
Woo-hoo – hometown representin’.
• I was flipping channels tonight and saw that I had the OMGFAUXBIGBIZNESSCHANNELLOL2007~! Whatever. Then I saw who was on -- my n*gga Dave Ramsey. I guess he does an hourlong show 8-9 p.m. Cool beans. I'm gonig to have to remember this is on.
Could you see these bureaucrats trying to tell Muslims or other freedom-haters that they can't burn Old Gloy due to pollution concerns?
