10:45 p.m.
• My county makes me so proud sometimes.
I noticed when posting this image that its link reads:
www.pittsburghlive.com/photos/2007-12-08/1209-redneck1-a.jpg
• So I mentioned a while back about my recent job interviews. Let me recap.
Had two job interviews on November 27. Both went well. Had the second interview to Job A on December 6. Now what was funny about this one is that the first interview with this place dealt with the Human Resource person, who was doing everything in her power to convince me that her place was a great place to work at. She also said that she wanted me back for a second meeting. After thinking about this for a day (this job wouldn't be the same thing as I'm doing now), I agreed and met up with my would-be boss on 12/6. Everything that this poor HR person did to build this job up was torn down by my new interviewer. First off, he was 20 minutes late. OK. That’s understandable. Secondly, he hadn’t even bothered to look over my resume until the actual interview. Look, if this was a big corporation I could understand. However, there aren’t that many people in his department to oversee. Sorry, but I found that very unprofessional. However, what made it even worse was that he was trying to go down the “overqualified” route, which made me laugh because when he brought up workplace scenarios that he was hoping the ideal candidate would be able to excel in I gave real-life ordeals I’ve gone through that dealt with the exact same topic. As I left this place I thought, “I’d probably choose this place over the shit hole I work at now, but Job B just got the inside track.” I had the second interview to Job B on Friday, and I completely brought down the house. Later that afternoon I got the offer. There’s a few things that need to be ironed out, but nothing that would make me stay where I am now. (“Ironed out” isn’t the right term. Wanting some specifics answered due to the sodomy I’ve experienced at my current place of employment would be more accurate.)
Due to some paperwork that needs to be filed and approved, I’ll be starting January 2 or 3. Of course, there’s always the chance everything will fall through. However, this is unlikely, and this is coming from one paranoid mo’ fo’. All I have to say is that this will probably be the best three weeks of work I’ve had in quite some time.
7 p.m.
• Well this is just lovely. The better half went out with her parents and while they were driving down a two-lane road, some cunt going the opposite way wanted to pass the person in front of her and went into Mrs. kkk's lane. This driver then hit my father-in-law's car... AND FLED THE MOTHER FUCKING SCENE. Right now the better half told me she's fine, even though the car is not driveable. Oh, yeah. The bitch who fled the scene? The motorist she was trying to pass FOLLOWED HER AND TOOK DOWN HER PLATES. Bitch, you going nowhere.
Update to Terror/Smues comments:
Here's what happened. It wasn't the motorist who chased down this cunt. It was a driver behind the motorist. And guess what? The reason he did this was because he was hit by a drunk driver two years ago and was in a coma for 28 days. From what I heard, this guy followed the bitch until she pulled over crying hysterically. The guy then went back to the scene. The cops went out to where the bitch was and she was gone. She eventually came back to the scene after Mrs. kkk went to the emergency room by ambulance and said how sorry she was to my mother-in-law. Much to my surprise my in-law didn't do anything but ignore her. I got picked up by my sister-in-law and went to the hospital (there wasn't a car at my house), and when I gave my "She's OK" updates a few hours later, the sister-in-law and mother-in-law were both amazed at how pissed off I was. I was basically saying how "this cunt needs to fucking die." Of course, I thought I was alone outside the hospital but there were several other people on cell phones around the corner of the building who seemed a little ... scared ... of me and my ravings. I don't remember using the "c" word while on the phone, but I was in such a haze I can't remember. (The mother-in-law told the better half I said it, so I'm not going to doubt her.)
Mrs. kkk isn't going into work this morning, and I was afraid that she might suffer from "next-day soreness/etc." that usually comes with a car accident, but she felt pretty good when she woke up, so that's a good sign. Also, even though this wasn't too far off from being a head-on collision, the impact wasn't too bad -- the car's sides mostly hit, and the better half doesn't remember being "thrusted" or "thrashed" about.
You know, accidents happen. Driving down an icy hill, skidding and hitting another car is an accident. Not seeing a car because it was in that little section of your car that covers up your blind spot, even when you check said spot, is an accident. Bumping into someone in a parking lot because you looked one way, looked another way, then pulling up not knowing the other car was also pulling out right after you looked the "first way" is an accident. Trying to pass someone on a two-lane road, hitting the automobile in the other lane and fleeing the scene is NOT an accident. Oh, and the driver that tracked this bitch down will be getting a "Christmas card" from the kkk household.
10 p.m.
• So the better half and I went out to the malls and shit today for some DAY AFTER CHRISTMAS sales. Meh. I don’t really care for the “Day After” sales because they’re not really that good. Plus everybody and their mother are out either returning gifts or spending money/gift cards they go the day before. As an added bonus, due to all the shit I’ve eaten for the last few days I think it finally caught up with me. Blech. To make matters worse, it wasn’t that cold out today (damn you global warming), and the jacket I had on was making me hella hot. Add up all these factors and I had the mother of all headaches today. Bummer. When we got home today I went straight for the Tylenol and the bed. I woke up about 10 minutes ago and figure that I better get my ass to sleep rather soon if I’m to properly deal with going in to work tomorrow. Then again, work probably won’t be all that bad, especially since I’ll have off Friday and Tuesday. Mother fucker, JJ is rolling around on the computer desk and he just fell onto the keyboard. It’s rather odd: the upstairs rooms seem to be his “lair,” although Max generally hangs up here, especially during the summer months. However, JJ will just sit up here for days at a time, only coming down for meals and whenever he gets a spurt of energy. Well, at least my headache’s gone.
Oh, I almost forgot (or wanted to forget): We paid a stop to Babies R Us. When she was pricing cribs and all that other baby stuff she was aghast at the prices and said, "where are the baby items for those on a budget?" My reply: "Target." That actually got a laugh out of her. Oh, and there are these things called "Pregger Pops" that are supposed to help with morning sickness and all that other shit knocked up women go through. That's all I got.
7:30 a.m.
• Pickkks for everyone.
Seattle @ Green Bay (8.5)
I think Green Bay will win the game, but not by eight points. Seattle 27, Green Bay 24.
Jacksonville @ New England (13.5)
As much as I want the Jags to win, I have a feeling all the talk about them being an "ideal winter opponent" will probably backfire. New England 31, Jacksonville 17.
San Diego @ Indianapolis (8.5)
I don't think Manning will have another bad game against the Chargers. I also heard Gates is listed as doubtful. Indianapolis 27, San Diego 10.
N.Y. Giants @ Dallas (7.5)
Instead of placing blame on Jessica Simpson, I think the Cowboys have other problems that deal with stuff on the field. But the real question for me in all this Jessica-gate nonsense is why did Romo bring a teammate with him on a vacation in which I probably wouldn't have left the luxury suite for three days? Then again, Simpson brings her parents with her everywhere she goes, so I guess that's worse. Oh, yeah. New York 27, Dallas 17.
7:30 p.m.
• So yesterday I took the first step in becoming a lazy slug at my new job. I installed my AIM account. It’s only a matter of time before I start downloading porn. Actually, that’s one thing I haven’t done at work.
• Great, now who am I going to vote for when Pennsylvania’s primary comes around to these here parts?
Seriously, nobody is doing it for me. When W. ran in ’00 I had no problem throwing my support behind him. Dole was the only GOP candidate back in ’96, so it’s not like there was any drama back then. If I was 18 in ’92 I would have went Perot (had I been in my mid-20s, I probably would have stayed with H.), so there would be no pondering my choices there, either. Actually, this reminds me of a funny story. In ’92 my high school had this mock election and we had the poli-sci class debate in front of the students on what candidate to vote for. The people supporting H. ended their spiel with the most unenthusiastic, “and he won the Gulf War” line I ever heard (granted I haven’t heard that line used much, if any, since then), which was received by laughter. In the end, though, Perot got the majority of votes, which surprised the principal/teacher who announced the winner at the end of the day. Anyway, my one friend at the time was happy that Clinton won; I was indifferent. Then a week or two later he started bitching because Clinton reneged on that middle class tax cut. I’m not sure what my friend was so pissed about – he worked at a fast-food place part-time. It’s not like he was getting more take home pay. Then again, now that I look back at it all, I’m sure he’s a Democrat. In fact, I actually got on of those quickie subscriptions to Classmates a few years ago just so I could find out what some of my classmates put as their political preference. It was interesting, to say the least.
4:30 p.m.
• So last night the better half and I went to my mom’s pastor ordination. Yes, she’s now a preacher. Oh the things I could say. Hell, there was a tale I was ready to tell about that Taco Bell commercial with the knocked up chick getting her man to go out and get her something to eat. I was going to then compare that ad with what happens in the real world, but today we learned that Mrs. kkk more than likely miscarried, so I’m just not in the mood.
6:30 p.m.
• Seriously, what the hell is wrong with people?
So the better half had a job interview today. I don’t know what it was about – something about a research study about old people killing themselves. Or was it about old people peeing themselves? It doesn’t matter. In the end it’s a bunch of wasted money. Anyway, she spoke with this one guy who runs the study. So far so good. Mrs. kkk like him. He gave her wrong directions to the interview location and admitted his mistake. Hey, that’s a good sign. He’s normal. In academia. Then we got to the woman who’s some big shit with the study.
Oh man.
Here was one her questions to the better half: “You plan on having kids?” When Mrs. kkk revealed to her that she miscarried earlier this year, the interviewer paused and then made some remark about if she’s going to try again. She also asked some other questions like, “So do you have a boyfriend?” Good God. And of course I get a phone call from the better half after this was all over bitching about the interview. Then me, playing the GODDMAN OPTIMIST, says, “would you rather know this bitch is a cunt once you were working there?” I still don’t know how I got to be the positive thinker in all this – she’s got three more interviews in the next two weeks. When you have an employable skill in demand YOU DON’T HAVE TO TAKE THE FIRST JOB OFFERED TO YOU. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to convince Mrs. kkk to file a complaint regarding this illegal line of questioning (I’m tired of working; I want a seven-figure settlement), but she has already informed the person who runs the study that she is withdrawing her name from consideration due to the treatment she received at the interview and gone into detail about the cross-examining. That’s my girl.
I almost forgot. Mrs. kkk's soon-to-be ex-boss has also made the "You're just going to get pregnant again" comments over the last few months when commenting on whether or not she's going to be around. This was of course before she got laid off.
• Speaking of the better half -- she was on a Thursday news broadcast on one of our local television stations. No, she wasn't interviewed. She was in the background for about half-a-second. And naturally her story didn't come on until 50 or so minutes into the program.
• I don't care what anybody says, I like these ads.
8 p.m.
• There are times I really hate TSM. After reading the Diablo III thread I got the urge to start playing my Diablo II characters. Goddamnit. Oh well, I always seem to quit once I get to Nightmare level, so let’s get to it.
I remember when the first Diablo came out I got it while living by myself in Sappy Valley. I had nothing better to do and the game was cheap and highly rated. I don’t play games on the computer because that’s what a game console is for. However, this was an exception. Besides, my Genesis was back at the in-law’s house ready for an Ohio trip. I played the game once or twice and it was good enough. After moving to Ohio and settling in, the better half noticed me playing it one night and inquired. Soon thereafter she was playing the game more than me. This of course made us HAVE to get the sequel. Then the expansion pack. Oh who am I kidding? I like playing the game, too.
This actually brings back another memory. Now although I said before I play 99 percent of my games in front of a television instead of a computer screen, Diablo is an exception to this rule. While I was in Ohio I noticed the Playstation Diablo title on sale at a used game store. I bought it and played the game with Mrs. kkk for about 20 minutes. Boy was it horrible. A few days later I went to sell it back. I wasn’t looking for a return. Hey, I made the purchase and didn’t like the product. The game itself wasn’t faulty. And this was a used game store after all. Well I went in and offered my wares. At first the sales clerk was excited – a little too excited – about seeing this Playstation game. Then he said he couldn’t buy this copy. Why? Because it was too scratched up and not up to the quality of store standards. Uhhhh, you SOLD me this game three days before in the SAME condition. I don’t use my CD/DVD/video game discs as Frisbees or coasters. The scratches didn’t come overnight. Amazingly enough, the clerk had no response to my “buy you sold me this game earlier in the week” response.
Where was I going with this? Nowhere. Big shock.
8:30 p.m.
• Here's one from the latest batch of pics I took from the camera an uploaded to the computer.
Of course over the last several months these three have been sleeping with us, which makes for some interesting sleeping positions. Dessa (pictured middle) usually camps out between the better half and I because she doesn't want to be near the other two. Max (far) will sleep on the other side of Mrs. kkk because he doesn't like sleeping by me because I tend to roll on top of him. One night he gave a yelp and ran away, which caused Dessa to chase him and hiss. This in turn made JJ run out and see what was going on. Pretty soon there was screaming across the living room; not what you want to hear at 2 a.m. Max also doesn't like laying on the bed sheets so the better half has to make sure he is able to lay on the comforter. JJ usually takes what's available -- meaning he has to sleep by me or next to Mrs. kkk and far enough from Dessa.
8 p.m.
• Wow. Xavier Nady traded to the Yankees earlier this month, now Jason Bay traded to the Sox. Pirate fans are getting the best of both worlds with the YANKS/SOX rivalry. I’m sure Al knows the stats of every new player the Pirates got today, but I don’t care: they’ll still lose now and in the future.
• McCain-ites, I don’t get this ad.
You’re ripping on a guy who is attracting loads of people to hear him bullshit? I don’t care if Osama is talking to Europeans. I don’t care if Bar-ACK’s crowds were helped drawn in by music concerts. This ad makes me want to vote for Hussein more than the candidate who endorsed this message.
Oh, and by “Heussein,” I mean Saddam. Not the other terrorist.
9 p.m.
• Now the biggest attention-getter to this story is probably a person winning a $5 million jackpot and still working as a doorman, but my "WTF?" moment is when I found out how much he made at this profession. I know it's NYC and all, but still. And he's UNIONIZED?
10 p.m.
• Well, it's been a while since I've posted anything. Oh well. Let's see, what should I talk about? How about commercials.
You know what ads I routinely can't stand? Those Enterprise commercials -- especially this one:
...
Aww, fuck. I can't find the video on YouTube. It's the one with the chick asking some guy what type of lingerie she should wear: the red or the black. The guy says "both." Then the Enterprise people pick them up and they drive a rented vehicle to some hotel, and then the creepy voice-over guy says, "romantic weekends." Man I hate Enterprise commercials.
First off, every time I hear that guy say "both" at the start of the ad I get a flashback to my idiot ex-boss. No, I wasn't asking him what naughty night-ware I should put on. I was given this 6-month assignment whose monthly deadlines fell at the same time as the job I was hired to actually do (not to mention other increasing duties that made my job impossible to do). When I asked my enlightened powers-that-be what should be dealt with first I got the typical "no answer" and they tried to go on to another subject. I interjected. Several times. Finally, the idiot says "both." I then questioned his leadership skills and noted that I was going to report his lack of management skills to our board (aka the "rubber stamp" brigade). Fun times ensued. Nothing was going to become of any of this dick-waving, but it's always fun to be an asshole.
Dick-waving. Asshole. Maybe I shouldn't have typed anything tonight.
Now that I have bitched about a series of ads I hate, let me go back to a series of ads I like. I know some of you hate those Free Credit Report.com ads. Well too bad. I like them. Now it's time for me to whip out the ol' ranking scale.
Number 6:
Not bad, but not as good as the other five in my opinion. I'd rather have this on during commercial breaks than most of the other crap out there. Song is a bit blah and there's no noteworthy image. I will say this: I hated that asshole friend who, like the person at 0:11, decides to mess around with the windshield wipers while you're driving. And there's nothing wrong with beat-up rides -- hasn't he heard of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "My Hooptie"?
Number 5:
I like the old lady re-appearing from other, older ads at (0:19) and the pirate hat reference. However, I don't get the whole Renaissance Fair thing. God only knows where that guy is taking the poor goat.
Number 4:
Bitches be trippin'. And what's she all pissed off about? It was HER credit that fucked them over. Oh, and if you married your "dream girl," then there's that thing during the wedding that says, "for better or for worse." Oh, and how about saving up and making a down payment? You two are white, I'm sure there would be a bunch of Jew bankers lining up around your in-law's basement door to take your money.
Number 3:
If you're going to get jiggy with it, you need a better beat. The synthesizer-voice thing does not fit well either. The white guy's facial expression at 0:21 seals the deal for me.
Number 2:
But I don't wanna be a Pirate! Every time I see that old lady make that facial expression at 0:19 I get reminded of all the time I had that look given to me, whether I was a little bastard in church as a kid or starting verbal confrontations with people at polling places during election day. Yee-hah.
Number 1:
That's right, I'm going Commie GREEN! Why do I like this ad over the other five? Several reasons:
1) The music is different than three of the previous ads. Nice change of pace.
2) It's a continuation of the previous ad with the compact car.
3) The old lady is back (0:06)! And I have also received a number of those disgusted looks during my life, too.
I didn't catch this, but apparently the black guy at the start of this ad is also in the "rapper" video. (He's the one taking back his keys.) There's also a shot of pirate hats in several of these ads. Cute.
Christ, I don't post for a week and THIS is what I come up with? Might as well go out on a high note...
Perhaps the "real killers" are already in jail, making your quest to find them all the easier.
9 p.m.
• So the home furnace went bye-bye last night. Awesome. DAMN YOU BUSH ECONOMY~!
Yeah, the financial hit sucks, but you know what? That's why there's something called a RAINY DAY FUND. This way, when something like this happens you go, "Oh shit. Well, now it'll take a bit of time to work my checking account back up to the amount I want it to be at a minimum." Rather than "OMG I CAN'T AFFORD IT FORECLOSURE FOR ME DAMN YOU GEORGE W. BUSH~!~!"
But here's the best part of the whole ordeal.
While I was at work, the better half told the furnace guy was over and told her we had one of two options. One was a patchwork deal that would last a few years before something else on the furnace goes on the fritz. The whole contraption has about 4 years left. The other option is to replace the thing. Now Mrs. kkk is having a fucking MELTDOWN over all this, although to be fair most of it was because of her layoff. So I'm trying to be the rational one and telling her what are the plusses and minuses of getting a new furnace and doing a stopgap.
My preliminary decision was this: I wanted the new furnace. However, I did not want to spend the money for it right now. We had more than enough in the bank, but because Mrs. kkk hasn't gotten gainful employment, I didn't want to chance making a purchase like this, especially when the initial "estimate" had a $2,000 margin of error. Until we got a more accurate estimate/price quote, I was leaning to the stopgap measure. That way we'd be fine this winter and we could go an save for a new furnace over the next year or two.
Mrs. kkk's reaction? "GWWARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR." And I didn't even know she was a fan of the group.
After talking with her in this state of mind, I said I wanted to think about this. We had time because the "more accurate quote" would be done later that day. I wanted my boss' opinion on the situation, so we talked for a few minutes. It wasn't a "woe is me" type conversation. I just wanted to get her insight on the whole thing. She then tells me that I was going to get a $1500 Christmas bonus this year, and after hearing that my mind was made up on getting the furnace.
So after our chat I told the better half of this development. And what were her first words upon hearing this?
"Why are you getting such a large amount?"
"Why are you getting such a large amount?"
The fuck? Because I don't work for a bunch of dickheads anymore, I bust my ass and I'm actually APPRECIATED for what I do. Good Christ.
10 a.m.
• So I have finally found a set of car insurance commercials that I hate more than the Geioco Cavemen. Those Progressive ads with the burnette cashier.
Good God. At least a few (and I mean "a few") of the Geico ads had a smirk/chuckle moment to them. These ones are atrocious.
However, I finally laughed at one of the Progressive ads, but probably for the wrong reason. If you can stand it, get through to the end of this ad for the invisible voice-over line.
11 a.m.
• Now we're comparing the dining habits of our two most recent presidents?
You know what? After reading this drivel my opinion of W. just went up a bit more. He can sit next to me at a Golden Corral any time. I want to stab with a rusty fork those people that talk more about the food they're getting at a restaurant than those that just want go out to eat.
Wait, did I just make another presidential death thread? Shit. Well I'll just copy what a columnist of color said a while back about another public figure. That ought to put me in the clear.
Hey shit-for-brains, you think any of my people will be falling for this obvious bear trap? Fuck no. The moment there's any kind of racial issue that's addressed and not met with the approval of you and your liberal comrades will pull the OMG RACISM~! card. I was born at night but it wasn't last night. If I was I'd be some kind of prodigy for typing this up instead of sucking on some titties.
9:30 p.m.
• So here’s the latest from the crack-whore niece-in-law.
She knows this guy who lives about 4-5 hours away. Nineteen years old. No job. Doesn’t go to college. He paid a long-distance booty call. How did he get to my neck of the woods? HIS OLD MAN DROVE HIM.
Anyway, the crack-whore niece-in-law took her two-month old kid with her to the hotel room for a night of passion. Where did the kid sleep while her mother got her freak on? The gentleman caller brought a crib. It must have been in storage or something because apparently it was moldy, and now the kid’s sick because of it.
Remember, whenever you hear a politician/activist claim that we don’t do enough for the poor, keep in mind that not everyone who takes public assistance is a hard-working provider for a family of four that recently lost his job due to the factory moving to Mexico.
It was early 2004, and the better half and I were living in sin at our third residence. This place was a duplex that had more things going wrong with it than going right. Among some problems included an insect infestation, no central air and drains that refused to do their job; we weren't enjoying our stay at this place. The final straw came when the spring rains arrived and we heard a dripping noise above us as we went to bed one night. We soon discovered that the roof had several leaks. Realizing our landlord wouldn't get around to dealing with this problem until the roof resembled Texas Stadium, both of us agreed it was time to look for a house of our own to buy.
We had talked about getting a house for a while, but we had always put it off until "later." That dripping noise, among the other hassles we endured while being tenants in this duplex, told us that "later" was "now." Before we began our search we decided on what we wanted out of our new home. We weren't that picky in what we deemed "necessary." We wanted a house with several bedrooms -- not because we were going to pop out a litter of kids, but rather we heard/read from several sources that houses with at least three bedrooms have a higher resale value than those that don’t. Central air was also a necessity for us, having stayed in several places that didn't have this feature, we realized its value when we lived in a townhouse that had it running during the summer months. The third requirement was that we didn't want to move into a different county. We live in Westmoreland County, which is in southwest Pennsylvania and next to Allegheny County, home to Shittsburgh and a horrendous property assessment system.
Once we established these parameters, we found out how much money we would be pre-approved for when applying for a mortgage. When we got this figure, we began looking at local houses for sale on several Internet sites. After about a week of looking at a variety of homes, we called our realtor and arranged a tour of about a half-dozen houses that matched our criteria. In a few days, we set out on our house-hunting excursion.
If you're house shopping for the first time, it's important not to set yourself up for a deadline. Just keep looking until you find something that interests you. As we went from house-to-house, nothing was really doing much for us. One house had a backyard that required you to go up several flights of stairs access; the better half also thought the place was haunted. Another house hadn't been kept up for a while and had that white-trash odor of pee mixed with spoiled food. Visiting this house actually angered me because it was a fairly large structure and in a nice neighborhood. The rest of the homes we toured were nice, but they just didn't have everything we were looking for. If one looked good on the outside, it was too small for our liking. If another had several bedrooms, it was located in a bad area, such as a busy intersection with no driveway. However, instead of getting frustrated, I was enjoying myself. With every passing "For Sale" sign, I began getting a better picture of what I wanted in my eventual home.
The better half and I didn't find anything that really interested us in our first two tours with the realtor, and we were batting 0-for-4 on our third trip. Then we went to this one house we originally weren't planning on looking at because its ad said it was 50+ years old and didn't have central air. But since it was on the way from one house we were looking at to another we were heading toward, we figured what the heck. After all, if it really tickled our fancy, we could always get the central air installed. However, the other thing that worried us was the house’s age: it was at least 30 years older than every other one we had seen. As we pulled up to this house, the first thing that caught my eye was a central air unit planted to the right of the house. I thought to myself this could be interesting.
Even though this house was the oldest we had looked at, it was by far one of the sturdiest and nicely kept out of the dozen-plus we had previously viewed. As we went from room-to-room in this four-bedroom colonial, we said to each other that this was the one for us. After looking at the rest of the houses on our list for the day, we ultimately decided to pursue this one.
A few months later, after a credit check, some minor home improvements and a LOT of paperwork, the house was ours. It's definitely more expensive to own a home than it is to rent, but so far the investment is worth every penny. Even though there are more expenses, including property taxes and insurance, the fact that you are spending your money on a mortgage instead of a landlord gives you a greater feeling of independence, even though this "freedom" means that you will be living in the same place for 15-30 years. Thinking of the approximately $700 in rent we paid every month for five years, I cringe when I calculate how much money was flushed down the toilet instead of being put into equity.
Home ownership is another sign you are maturing, at least in society's eyes if not your own. You are no longer living in a room or basement while your parents pay for everything from food to utilities. And instead of renting, where you pass off problems to a landlord or maintenance crew, with your own home you're responsible for all repairs. Heater on the fritz? That's your problem. Leaky roof? Too bad. Basement flooded? Get a bucket and start scooping.
But even with these added responsibilities, I wouldn't trade my little piece of Americana for anything. Owning a home really makes you feel like you've "made" it, and that feeling will continue until you sell it or your local government takes your property for some public works project or hands the deed over to some private developer for the "greater good."
And for those wondering, here is the result of my house search.
• I was listening to Rush today on RIGHT-WING RADIO, and he busted out an audio clip of that infamous ESPN Sunday Countdown where he said those mean things about Donovan McNabb being overrated because the mainstream sports media want black quarterbacks to succeed. It has been a while since I saw that Countdown episode, and I’m glad I got to hear this segment again because it was more hilarious the second time around. Not only did I get to relive Michael Irvin’s “He has a point” remark, but also, interestingly enough, nobody on the panel reacted with offense to Rush’s dreaded “overrated” line when it was first uttered, not even Chris “I never saw Donovan McNabb as a black quarterback ever …ever …” Berman. In addition, there weren’t any little black kids asking Tom Jackson if it is OK for them to be quarterbacks. Fuck you ESPN, fuck you Berman, and Fuck you Jackson.
• So what exactly is the worst thing you can do to a Muslim male nowadays? Is it cramming a bunch of them in a crappy boat that’s destined to sink? No sir. It looks like drawing funny pictures of Mohammad is the answer. Why do I say this? Because a bunch of Muslims are up in arms at a Danish newspaper that had the audacity to publish back in September some caricatures of this prophet of Allah, which I guess is forbidden to do in the Muslim world, much like it is to have literate wives and daughters that want professional careers.
In a show of solidarity, and an unusual display of spine, other European newspapers defended Denmark and ran the pictures in their publications. A French editor was even fired for publishing these cartoons. And while the European media have stood up to this Muslim aggression (you don’t hear that every day), the U.S. State Department is siding with those who would consider us infidels. So let me get this straight. We fund “artists” to submerge the image of Christ in a jar of pee, but we align ourselves with those who think these are offensive? Nice.
Also, why is the North American media shying away from showing us these pictures? "I don't see it as a necessity to run them," said the editorial page editor at the San Francisco Chronicle. I wonder if these people in Medium-Large Media thought the same way about, oh, Abu Ghraib?
• Just after he was sworn in to rape, pillage and plunder anything that is not connected to Halliburton, Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito has sided with the commie libs on the High Court and said that the state of Missouri can’t just yet go and execute some guy for raping and killing a 15-year old girl. Why did he rule this way? My guess is because the crime only took place in 1989, which is far too soon to kill a convicted murderer/rapist; the condemned has at least 15 more years to suck up public funds in his quest to have what he refused his victims -- life. I’m sure there’s a valid reason why Alito went in the direction he did, but I’m too indifferent and lazy to try and find out.
• Some kids in Florida have refused to sell junk food for fundraising purposes in hopes of collecting enough money for a school trip to Williamsburg, Va., and Washington, D.C. Well, if they don’t want to peddle these wares and can’t come up with another way of getting the money, then they better not whine about their lack of out-of-classroom activities. A teacher at this school has tried to come up with other ways for these kids to raise money; one idea was to have car washes. Too bad that a washing a car is even worse than selling junk food. Not only are you wasting a precious resource to do something that can be accomplished by Mother Nature on a rainy day, but also you are sprucing up an evil machine that pollute the environment.
• Western Union has ceased with what made them famous -- they have stopped providing telegram services. Good for them. Who sends telegrams anyway now? Instead of saying goodbye to an old fixture of previous American societies, we ought to be encouraged that Western Union has evolved with the changing marketplace and focused its talents on additional services instead of the out-dated telegram. Other businesses would be wise to follow this practice.
• So that’s why the Wendy's down the street from me shut down last month? Damnit. That was a nice store, too. Those people that organized the finger-in-the-chili hoax deserve to burn in hell for taking away my Wendy's.
• New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg “anonymously” gave $100 million to help fund a stem-cell research facility. If the donation was “anonymous,” then why am I reading about it? Well, at least he puts his money where his mouth is regarding this issue, which is odd for any politician to do. And while we’re talking about New York and fetuses, this guy got charged with abortion while beating his knocked-up girlfriend. Oddly enough, the baby survived. I’ll leave the punch line up to you.
• I thought we were over nitpicking animated/G-rated movies after the “outrage” over “The Lion King” and its RACIST overtones, what with the evil hyenas being black and all, but apparently I was wrong. Now these family films are SEXIST. According to some hippie study, male characters outnumbered female characters 3-to-1 overall in the top-grossing G-rated films from 1990-2004. From the article: "Joe Kelly, co-founder of Dads & Daughters, said as much as he loves 'Toy Story,' the study made him think about the movie differently. The movie has a positive message about two characters - Tom Hanks' Woody and Tim Allen's Buzz Lightyear - overcoming their differences and working together, but it does have a flaw, Kelly said. 'It wasn't until the study that I went back and realized there's only one toy that's a female character, and it's Bo-Peep. She's standing at the window going, 'Oh, Woody, don't hurt yourself,'" Kelly said. "Not that I want 'Toy Story' to be changed. I don't think there should be any sort of gender formula. But there are other movies to be made with powerful messages featuring female characters.'
Well, whenever a kid's movie featuring a strong female character, see it a bunch of times in the theater and buy the 20 DVD versions that come out. Give movie studios a reason to make more of the same. And while you’re at it, go produce a study comparing the ratio of male-to-female evil characters on Lifetime Movies of the Week.
While there are too many men in kid’s movies, apparently there aren’t enough in the doll world. After a two-year absence, Ken is going back to Barbie. I’m not too keen on the life and times of dolls, but from what I read these two kids split up after more than 40 years of cohabitation (I'm surprised they last this long, what with Ken missing some essential parts to his male anatomy). To add insult to injury in this breakup, Barbie took off with a new Aussie mate named Blaine. But now Ken is back on the scene. What was he doing all this time? Well, according to the N.Y. Times, "Ken, heartbroken, traveled the world in search of himself, making stops in Europe and the Middle East, dabbling in Buddhism and Catholicism, teaching himself to cook and slowly weaning himself off a beach bum life."
I’ll say this: These toys have more back story than a number of movies I’ve recently seen.
Even though I’m poking fun at Barbie (and making fun of Ken’s inability to “poke” at Barbie, as well), I do feel pity for them. After all, with more and more kids avoiding toys that don’t need a microchip or URL, playing with dolls or action figures seems to be going the way of the dinosaur. I hate to sound like an old-timer, but back in my day, even though I spent way more time with my Atari 2600 than I should have, there was always a place in my heart for playing with my Star Wars action figures in the backyard.
• Look, I get that Democrats don’t like President Bush, but is it really necessary for Howard Dean to say things like “"All we ask is that we not turn into a country like Iran where the President can do anything he wants"? You are aware that in another in 2-3 more years Bush will be leaving the presidency forever. Now if he stays in the Oval Office past 2008 then I’ll join Howie and Harry Reid in calling for W.’s removal from office. But until then, can you please lay off the “dictator” talk; say he’s a miserable failure, say he sucks, say he doesn’t care about women, minorities and the poor, but please stop with whining about how we’re turning into some Third-World country where the person in charge stays that way until he A) dies, or B) is overthrown. Saying stuff like this only makes you guys look silly.
On second thought, keep up the good work.
What is wrong with some people?
Yesterday afternoon I headed over to Kmart to pick up an early edition of a Sunday newspaper; I felt like browsing through the weekly circulars and coupons early. When I arrived, I took one newspaper and then scoped out which aisle would be the shortest wait. Even though this store had more than a dozen checkout lines, only three were in service. The first aisle had a line three deep, and the old lady with a number of clothing and cleaning items was in the midst of writing a check. The next open aisle wasn’t much better, but the third one looked to have the most promise. Even though there were about a half-dozen people occupying this aisle, they were one white-trash family, and their purchase didn’t look to be that big. Then of course the other three heathens from this clan brought their items up to the register. No problem, though. I scanned the magazine/booklet selection and started reading a “Cats for Dummies” booklet.
Whenever you have the opportunity, I recommend you start reading materials off the shelf while waiting in a long checkout line. Not only does it pass the time away, but if you’re lucky enough you can browse through the latest edition of the Weekly World News. Of course this line took much longer than I had expected, but it wasn’t a terrible wait. However, if I ever planned on making a quick purchase, I surely didn’t want to spend an inordinate amount of time waiting in line to make a simple transaction. I think that’s what pisses me off about waiting in lines sometimes. You stand there for what seems like an eternity while some old had tells the cashier she has “exact change” but then spends 20 minutes going through her purse to find it. Or, like in this situation, you’re stuck behind some redneck or ghetto family that has zero organization when it comes to paying for a bill that involved several children piling up anything they thought they could get away with on the conveyor belt. But I digress.
So of course my transaction took about 10 seconds to complete, and then I noticed this store had a special lottery/cigarette section where some lady was selling Instant Win lottery games to a customer. This intrigued me because this section’s service light wasn’t turned on. After this customer was taken care of, I approached the cashier and asked if I was to make a small purchase such as a newspaper if this lottery station would be able to make the transaction, so I wouldn’t have to wait in a long line. The reason I asked this is because I remember what it was like for stupid customer to just go up to an empty checkout line and expect someone to wait on them there. Well after I made this inquiry, the following conversation transpired.
“Yes, if you have a small purchase you can take it here or at the customer service desk if they’re not busy.”
“OK. Thanks. The reason I asked was because your register’s light wasn’t on, and I didn’t know if this was a full-time register or not. I don’t come in here that often and didn’t know Kmart’s policy on this sort of thing.”
“That’s not a nice thing to say!”
“What are you talking about?”
“You saying you don’t come in here often.”
”Well I don’t. Maybe if you guys had the lowest prices on your merchandise I’d come in more.”
“Just leave.”
“Fine. And you can kiss my ass on my way out.”
Seriously, what the fuck is wrong with some people? I said I don’t come into Kmart all that often and you throw a shitfit? (And no, she wasn’t kidding when she said, “That’s not a nice thing to say!”) I have nothing against Kmart, but I wouldn’t buy my clothes there, and many times the products they offer are not the lowest price in the area. When I worked retail jobs and someone would make a smart-ass remark I’d just stand there straight-faced and say, “OK. Bye.” I don’t know if a customer is trying to be witty or serious when they tell a McDonald’s employee that “they sure could go for a Whopper,” (which happened to me a few times when I worked at the Golden Arches), but either way I just stand there and refused to play along. God I hate customers.
And Customer Service Workers aren’t much better.
Blog Plugs
• Bored decided to give the 1987 NL MVP award to Tim Raines. Who am I to stop him? I’m not that much into baseball to remember what happened 19 years ago, but I do agree that Tim Raines was an extremely under-appreciated player. I remember as a kid going through my baseball card collection, looking at Raines’ stats and wondering why his card wasn’t worth more money, according to that Beckett pricing guide. Oh, another guy who seemed to be a good player that didn’t seem to get enough props was Harold Baines – am I nuts or do I have a point with this one?
• I don’t follow pro wrestling anymore, but I do remember when Lance Storm made a comment on his Web site about the Death Valley Driver board. Thanks to Sensei John Kreese for bringing back this memory. I also agree that the Undertaker losing at his last Wrestlemania would give a tremendous rub to the person who scores the pinfall. The question is when exactly does a pro wrestler actually retire?
I love bosses. Especially the ones that don’t know what the fuck they are doing.
I have been at my current place of employment for more than two years. When I first started working, I was told that I had pretty much a flex schedule, meaning that as long as I put in 40 hours a week, eight hours a day, I was in the clear. Fair enough. Now this job is about 25-30 miles from my house, and I have to brave two Interstates in order to travel to and from my job. I soon found out that an 8:30 a.m.-5 p.m. shift was going to involve a shitload of traffic. I then asked if it would be OK if I came in earlier. I was told that would be fine. After testing out what traffic is like early in the morning, I settled on working a 6:30 a.m.–3 p.m.
Working this schedule is good because not only do I avoid the early morning jams, but also coming home isn’t nearly as bad as it would be if I was out on the road at 4:30 p.m. Well, even though I got my work shift OK’d by people much more powerful than me, and even though there are two other co-workers who work the same hours I do, and have had their schedule for years, everybody is shocked when they call my office at 3:05 p.m. and I don’t answer because I’m in the car heading home.
I have worked this shift for two years now. There is no surprise to when I come in and when I leave. Now it’s bad enough when my one idiot boss decides to give me assignments to do at 2:50 p.m., but every couple of months we have a bunch of meetings that are scheduled for out-of-town representatives. Every three months a bunch of people come in from out of state and spend the day in meetings with us. There’s one meeting that I have to attend, and it’s funny because for the first year I worked here I didn’t come to these meetings. The reason? Nobody told me I was part of the meeting. However, what’s funnier is that this one meeting that I have to attend is ALWAYS schedules for 2-3 p.m., and it is always at least an hour long. I’m also never told ahead of time when these meeting are scheduled. Normally I really wouldn’t care about being out of the loop, but the problem is that I carpool with the better half, so whenever these meetings come around she has to find another way to get home.
Well today was a fun day. When I found out this morning that my meeting was at 2:30 p.m. I called the better half and she made other arrangements to get home. I then sat at this 90-minute meeting and afterward did some work that was asked of me by some out-of-town reps. A workday that normally ends at 3 p.m. was extended three hours, which is fine for me because that means three hours of comp time.
This is why I like working for an hourly rate. Sure getting a salary may seem more ‘professional” but if you get paid by the hour, you have a much better opportunity to resist getting buttfucked by your employers on time worked. I strongly recommend to anyone employed in the white-collar world to not only keep a log of when you arrive and leave your job, but to also keep a journal of what you do while on the clock. I know already that when I submit my timecard on Monday I’m going to be questioned about the extra hours I’ll have written down. Hey dipshit, I leave at 3 p.m. The meeting ended at 4 p.m. and then I was asked to burn several CD-ROMS, make 400 copies of a double-sided brochure, send off several e-mails containing attachments, make a few phone calls and update several web pages. You think I did all that shit for free just because I normally go home at 3 p.m.? Kiss my ass. I learned my lesson six months into this job when I spent about a week out of state on work-related matters. I busted my ass for 16 hours a day, waking up at 6 a.m. each morning and working into to middle of the night. When I got back, I requested to use some of the time I “banked” to move into the house that was recently purchased by the better half and me. You would have thought I said I wanted to fuck my boss’s wife with the reactions I got.
“Oh, really. Now what makes you think you deserve those three days off?”
“Because I worked 14-16 hours/day for four days, and you said I could bank these hours.”
“Oh really now?”
You fucking asshole.
Ever since then, I’ve kept a journal of what I do and when I arrive and leave work. It’s funny now when they ask me about what they think is a discrepancy on my timecard and then I whip out several sheets of documented sheets explaining what I did during my time for that day. After a few incidents, they have pretty much left me alone, but even when you think you are in the clear, it’s still wise to keep your journal because you never know when they’re going to try and Jew you out of some work time.
I should have learned my lesson when I was a high school puke working at Burger King and got screwed at that place, but that’s another story for another time.
I don’t consider myself an expert on the punk-rock scene, although I do like listening to some music in this genre from time to time, (especially a certain song from the Ramones). One album I like listening to is “Never Mind the Bollocks Here’s the Sex Pistols.” While I do know some news and notes about the Ramones, which I’ll talk about later, I don’t know much about the Sex Pistols other than they lasted for one album and their one member Sid Vicious died from a drug overdose. However, I have to say that whenever I see Johnny Rotten on television, I usually put down the remote and see what kind of trouble he’s getting himself into, whether he’s on the now-cancelled “Politically Incorrect” or “Judge Judy.”
One memory that sticks out involving Rotten was when he did this show on Vh1 back in 2000. In it he covered the 2000 election season, and to my surprise it was splendidly done. In fact, it was my favorite analysis program covering the '00 election (not to mention it's one of the few that I still remember). In the span of 30 minutes he had an intelligent conversation with Newt Gingrich (?!), made fun of some pseudo-hippies protesting outside a Convention site and took the high ground when questioning some pro-life demonstrators. It wasn’t at all what I expected this episode to be like, especially the segment involving the abortion protestors.
Anyway, the reason for my Sex Pistols nostalgia is because they recently told the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame to take their induction and shove it. Of course this begs the question as to what the R&R HOF would expect one of the renowned punk bands of all time to do when told of their inclusion into this institution. I don’t get this hippie enshrinement to the music industry, and I couldn’t name one person who has been inducted into this Hall of Fame. However, if people travel to visit this place, and the proceeds put a few extra tourism dollars in Cleveland’s coffers, then who am I to denounce it?
I mentioned the Ramones earlier, and for those that don’t know by now, my TSM handle of “kkktookmybabyaway” is a title off one of their songs. The first time I heard this song was during some hippie MTV special on RACISM back in the day. In this “special report” they followed the antics of some idiot teen skinhead that was planning some retarded rally at a local mall or something. At the end of the show, they played “The KKK Took My Baby Away” while giving us an update on how his rally fared. I can’t remember the exact details, but I think only two or three people showed up alongside him, and they ended up getting arrested or beaten up (or both).
One thing I didn’t realize about the Ramones until a few years ago was Johnny Ramone’s conservatism, which is astounding considering back the 1980’s Ronald Reagan and Margaret Thatcher were considered Mr. and Mrs. Anti-Christ to many people who the Ramones played music with and in front of. Then again, punk always seemed to be an alternative to mainstream culture, so in a way it would makes sense to have one of its forefathers be an unapologetic Republican. One of my favorite quotes from Johnny before he passed away a few years ago came from this article:
• Uh oh. Bush’s RIGHT-WING Supreme Court is making their voice heard on abortion rights. Now it’ll be easier than ever for abortion protestors to intimidate Planned Parenthood workers and knocked-up women wanting to get rid of some excess baggage. Oh, wait. The decision was 8-0? Never mind.
• If only our legal system worked as hard on other matters like eminent domain as they do trying to find ways for convicted murderers to get out of paying their debts to society our world would be a better place.
• I have to do a mea culpa of sorts. One anonymous reader responded to my suggestion a few days ago of white-collar workers documenting what they do throughout the day by saying, “Most of what these people do online all day is shop, watch porn and gamble.” I stand corrected.
• Normally I am a pretty laid-back driver, but over the last few months I have been suffering from road rage. I can’t help it. It’s not the fact some asshole cuts me off almost plows into my car. What pisses me off is their blatant disregard for almost damaging the vehicle I’m in. One thing that really pisses me off is when you’re in front of a large vehicle going up a hill. The truck has its blinkers on and is in the right-hand lane going 20 mph. That’s fine and dandy; I have no problem with this. However, when I put on my turn signal to change lanes, I almost always wait an extra second because I know that the asshole behind me is going to try and zoom around me instant I start to merge in another lane. I can’t begin to count the number of times people would have slammed into my car’s bumper had I not been the cautious one.
Oh I fucking hate those people. If I’m driving the better half’s car, a 2004 cavalier, I practice my “careful pause” before switching lanes because this vehicle is our household’s primary mode of transportation. But if I’m driving my ’88 Corsica that already has one wheel in the junkyard, I say “fuck you’ and go into the other lane regardless, making the dickhead behind me have to slam on their brakes or swerve back into the right-hand lane. Fuck you bitch. If you would have put on your goddamn turn signal when this all began, I’d have no problem; I’d even let you pass me even though I put my turn signal on first. Some people need to be taken out to a nearby field and shot.
As much as this sort of thing happens to me, I’m glad to know I’m not alone. One place I hate driving in is the grocery store parking lot. Christ, that place is a land mine with cars pulling out every which way. This is why I always park near the back of the local grocery store’s parking lot, even when it’s only half-full. And I was reminded today why I do this.
I was walking to this store and I went in front of this old guy with a huge Buick backing out. The reason I chose to walk in front of his car was because I know better than to be behind a senior citizen when they’re in reverse. Unfortunately, this yuppie mini-van didn’t know this rule, and the old guy almost plowed into this poor lady driving the vehicle. What made me laugh about the whole thing is that there was no way that mini-van was in any blind spot; she was directly behind the Buick. I guess when you reach a certain age you just don’t care about accumulating points on your driver’s license.
With all the shit that is going down in the world – Arabs at the ports, Cheney shooting friends, Bush showing he doesn’t care about black people by, well, doing anything – it’s nice to read a feel-good story of some commie high school teacher helping his students learn by comparing Bush to HITLER and getting recorded by a student. Having listened to a number of clips of this idiot on RIGHT-WING RADIO, it makes me regret not having any pinkos trying to indoctrinate me when I was a teen. Well, there might have been but I was too busy either trying to snooze or stare at the chick in front of me. (I always preferred to oogle a chick that was in front and to the left of me. That way not only could you look at her leg/thigh region, but also you would get a nice side view of the rack.)
I hope I don’t sound like a terrorist, but not all of this teacher’s ranting seemed unhinged. For example, there was something about terrorists seeing the World Trade Center as a military target. OK, I’ll go with this. After all, we’re talking about 40-virgin-afterlife-loving psychos; why not try to see things from their perspective? However, the problem with this nimrod in the classroom was that there was no self-counterbalance to his loony assertions. Oh, yeah. IT WAS ALSO A GEOGRAPHY CLASS. I at least hope he was pointing to the proper country when telling these kids why it would be OK for China to bomb us since we were shipping cigarettes to that country.
If this sort of thing goes on in this school’s geography class, I’d love to see the math curriculum. “OK class, if Bush kills 100,400 innocent Iraqis, and Halliburton’s stock rises 4 points because of it, how many civilians had to be murdered so the stock price could jump 2.5 points?”
I can’t wait to hear this guy’s defenders say that now there is a “chill wind in the air,” and educators are more fearful than ever about having the academic freedom to teach our youth. If it hasn’t happened already, I’m sure it will by early next week.
When I think back to my high school days, I’m pretty sure a number of my teachers were liberal. There was one in particular named Mrs. Dickensheets (yes, that was her real name) who I’m all but sure was a lefty. She told us how Oliver North’s false testimony at the Iran-Contra hearings was exposed because of basic math, or something like that. I don’t remember the specifics because I didn’t pay that much attention to this woman; not because I was a RIGHT-WING EXTREMIST, but rather because I was a teen-ager.
The highlight of my interaction with Mrs. Dickensheets was when I was a junior in high school. I had a math class with her, and one morning all 11th graders had to have an assembly to go over how to pay for our senior prom. It had always been the tradition of every senior class to pass on the debt to the class after them, but now the administration was getting tough with this, which meant our class needed to come up with a way of paying for our prom. Well, we were supposed to sell these retarded Pizza Hut coupon cards; it went something like if a person bought five pizzas and showed this card, then their next pizza was free. Also, whoever sold the most cards won some gay prize; I can’t remember what it was.
After the assembly ended I hung out with a few of my friends in the cafeteria and didn’t get back to class until about 20 minutes after every other junior in my math class returned. This of course gave Mrs. Dickensheets the perfect opportunity to harass me for my . She began asking me what the assembly was about, and said something about having to sell these stupid cards because we couldn’t freeload our prom costs onto the grade below us. She then said something that I didn’t take too kindly to and made a smart-ass remark – probably something like “I don’t care about this stupid contest.” When she asked why I didn’t want to be the person who sold the most cards and win the gay prize being offered, I responded, “Why bother when someone’s dad will force everyone in the building he works at to buy 20 cards each? Besides, I’m not even going to this stupid prom, so why should I give a crap about how it gets paid off.” After a rather extended pause from Mrs. Dickensheets, she went back to the blackboard and left me alone.
There were a few other liberal teachers, but I never got the “time to brainwash the students” vibe from them, although a few didn’t like me for other reasons, which I’m sure I’ll explain why in due time.
• I’m not a huge fan of television. I mean, I watch it plenty, but if it doesn’t involve news or sports I don’t tune in every week to watch. Thanks to DVDs, I have started buying a few shows (The Shield, South Park, Lost, to name a few) and watch them commercial-free and at my leisure.
That being said, I was channel surfing yesterday afternoon and came across the E! network, who apparently boughts the right to re-air “The Simple Life,” starring Paris Hilton and Nicole Richie. Now although this show is several years old, it’s new to me. Oh my God what a train wreck. I have no words to describe what I saw for that 30 minutes or so. I mean … wow. That’s all I have to say on this matter. Just … wow.
• So this chick is selling ad space on her pregger belly, and some Internet company will broadcast the eventual birth. I have to give this lady props for being creative, but she would have made even more money had she auctioned broadcasting rights to this kid’s conception nine months prior.
• In order to cut costs, many newspapers are dropping those pages of stock prices. Makes sense to me. After all, most people can get the results on-line. And if someone does not have Internet access, I’m sure they aren’t checking the stock page on a daily basis anyway.
• Wow, not as many people are going to see movies. I’m sure the mindset in Hollywood now it not to make films people want to see, but rather they haven’t produced enough gay cowboy films.
• And speaking of gay cowboy films, I finally got around to watching “Hidalgo;” sadly, it wasn’t as good as I thought it would be. However, what stuck out to me were all the offensive things that occurred to Muslim men in this film. I mean, I thought going overseas with your mixed breed horse to participate in some dessert race was one of the worst things you could do to a Muslim male (it appeared that way from the reaction Frank Hopkins and his horse received). But then I realized that wanting to shake hands and ruin the ability for a sheik to see into the future was one of the worst things you could do to a Muslim male. However, I soon noticed that wanting to help a fellow racer stuck in quicksand or whose steed turned up lame was one of the worst things you could do to a Muslim male. But then I saw that touching a daughter while protecting her from unseen attackers (or at least that’s what you thought they were at the time) was one of the worst things you could do to a Muslim male (not to mention one of the worst things you could do to your reproductive organs). I’m surprised this film was even made, what with all the offensive material directed at the Muslim male in it. Hopefully, this movie isn’t seen by any radical clerics wanting to stir up trouble; if some cartoons can cause widespread mayhem and death, Allah only knows what’s going to happen with this film filled with RACISM and hate.
Because my upcoming b-day falls on a workday this year, the better half gave me my presents today. She constantly bitches that I’m hard to shop for, which I always thought was a good thing because that means I’m not materialistic. When it comes to gifts, nothing is better than CDs, DVDs or video games (except maybe gift cards so I can get what I want whenever it goes on sale). Even though I spend most of my disposable income on the three things mentioned above, DVD gifts are usually what I prefer to get, and this year she went 3-for-3 in the present category.
My first gift was a gimmie: Season 7 of South Park. Seeing how I have the first six seasons already, it’s pretty much a no-brainer I’d be looking to add this to my collection. However, this season was when I began to stop watching “South Park” during their episodes' first run. Instead of staying up past when I normally go to bed on a work night, or setting the VCR (I’m lazy), I figured it will just be more convenient to wait until the DVD comes out and get a season's worth of shows then. Although Season 7 had some episodes that were great (Krazy Kripples, Christian Rock Hard, South Park is Gay and It’s Christmas in Canada, to name a few), there were others I didn’t care for, such as the one spoofing Jennifer Lopez and the one dealing with Cartman’s obsession with Casa Bonita. In addition, I felt a bit short-changed with the episode dealing with the Iraq war – the payoff wasn’t that satisfying to me, and it reminded me a bit of that episode dealing with Terri Schiavo and the removal of her feeding tube. (Although it was great to hear the Founding Fathers go “rabble rabble rabble.")
The second thing I got was the soundtrack to “Team America: World Police.” A few months ago I had the movie’s “AIDS” song stuck in my head for about a week, and I guess that’s where Mrs. kkk got the idea to get me this album. A good idea it was, considering I already had the movie on DVD and liked several songs such as “Everyone has AIDS,” “America, Fuck Yeah,” and “Montage.” In regards to the movie itself, I was a bit disappointed by it. However, I think a large part of my letdown stems from me expecting too much. I try not to give a movie too high of expectations, but sometimes you just can't help it. (Kevin Smith's "Dogma" was another film that I had this problem with.) Overall I liked the movie, but it seemed to drag on in some places. But when it hit, it hit hard. Along with making fun of a number of Hollywood celebrities and the United Nations, I liked a lot of the film’s smaller touches, such as black cats being vicious “panthers” and seeing tropical fish in the “ocean” scenes. And then there was the dialogue, more specifically "Matt Damon," a phrase that the better half and I now use whenever the other person says or does something stupid. In addition, it’s nice to know that the Chiodo Brothers, creators of “Killer Klowns from Outer Space,” one of my favorite cheesy films of all-time, produced the puppets in "Team America." I’m sure there won’t be a sequel to this movie, but some work is better than no work, especially in the film industry.
The third present was an “Uncle Buck” DVD. The odd thing about this selection is that I was never really a fan of John Candy when many of his movies were first shown in the 1980s. However, as I got older and watched these films again I began to appreciate them more; perhaps I didn’t quite get Candy’s humor as a kid, or perhaps my sense of what’s funny is getting diluted. I must say however that I always loved one particular scene in “Uncle Buck” when he’s talking a school administrator with a sizeable mole on her face. If you saw this movie, you know what I’m talking about, and if you haven’t seen this movie, I don’t know what to tell you.
• I’m not a hunter, but generally I don’t make fun of people that like to do this sort of thing. Personally, getting up at 4 a.m., going out to the wilderness, sitting around in the cold, damp morning air and waiting for a defenseless animal to walk into your sights is not my idea of a good time. However, if it floats your boat, then good for you. Then again, I have to ask what is so impressive about shooting a deer or turkey with a gun or arrow? Go kill a bear or mountain lion with just a knife and your wits; then you can really hang that animal's head up on your wall with pride. Oh, and when the animals fight back, I’ll be rooting for them. Not because I hate hunters, mind you, but rather I’m a sucker for the underdog, or in this case, underbear.
• Well the baptism thingy I talked about in yesterday’s entry went off without a hitch, for the most part. The mother-in-law decided to take over and pass the kid around, but that’s the worst which happened so all-in-all it wasn’t a bad day. We then went to the restaurant, where we were supposed to eat at 4 p.m. – we didn’t actually start eating until 5 p.m., and by the time we got out of that place it was past 7 p.m., so that was a nice chunk of 5+ hours on my day off. Oh well, it’s not like this chick is going to pop out another kid anytime soon, or at least for nine months.
• I’m sure many of you would agree with me that the winter months produce more automobile accidents and delays, but goddamn whenever spring really starts to get in effect the carnage seems just as bad. My commute from work been at least 10-15 minutes longer each day because of more traffic, accidents, broken-down vehicles and road construction projects which have the orange barrels/cones up with nobody actually working at the scene. And on top of that, there seemingly has been at least one car accident per day on the highway I drive on. At least when there’s snow falling down, the only people you have to worry about are the idiots with four-wheel drive going 60+ mph; when the weather’s nice it seems everyone thinks they’re a NASCAR driver.
• I was watching SportsCenter this morning, and they brought up a stat that talked about the NHL referees actually calling penalties in this year’s Stanley Cup Playoffs. It’s about goddamn time. I like hard-hitting hockey as much as the next person, but not at the expense of illegally clutching and grabbing a team’s star skill players and hampering the on-ice product. I never understood why officials allowed teams around this time of year to get away with play that would have netted them a penalty in the regular season. Hopefully, enforcing the rules will continue on into the later rounds and make the NHL as a whole better.
• I don’t know what would stink more: Your house getting blasted with 3,000 gallons worth of sewage, or hearing your local government promise they will clean up and repair the damage to your residence. In the article it says the house has a tax value of $101k while estimates for cleanup range from $75-150k – if I were this poor family, I’d rather pack up and move than to rely on the government to clean my, literal, shithole up.
