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12/5: A Message To O.J. Simpson

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Perhaps the "real killers" are already in jail, making your quest to find them all the easier.


9 p.m.


• So the home furnace went bye-bye last night. Awesome. DAMN YOU BUSH ECONOMY~!


Yeah, the financial hit sucks, but you know what? That's why there's something called a RAINY DAY FUND. This way, when something like this happens you go, "Oh shit. Well, now it'll take a bit of time to work my checking account back up to the amount I want it to be at a minimum." Rather than "OMG I CAN'T AFFORD IT FORECLOSURE FOR ME DAMN YOU GEORGE W. BUSH~!~!"


But here's the best part of the whole ordeal.


While I was at work, the better half told the furnace guy was over and told her we had one of two options. One was a patchwork deal that would last a few years before something else on the furnace goes on the fritz. The whole contraption has about 4 years left. The other option is to replace the thing. Now Mrs. kkk is having a fucking MELTDOWN over all this, although to be fair most of it was because of her layoff. So I'm trying to be the rational one and telling her what are the plusses and minuses of getting a new furnace and doing a stopgap.


My preliminary decision was this: I wanted the new furnace. However, I did not want to spend the money for it right now. We had more than enough in the bank, but because Mrs. kkk hasn't gotten gainful employment, I didn't want to chance making a purchase like this, especially when the initial "estimate" had a $2,000 margin of error. Until we got a more accurate estimate/price quote, I was leaning to the stopgap measure. That way we'd be fine this winter and we could go an save for a new furnace over the next year or two.


Mrs. kkk's reaction? "GWWARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR." And I didn't even know she was a fan of the group.


After talking with her in this state of mind, I said I wanted to think about this. We had time because the "more accurate quote" would be done later that day. I wanted my boss' opinion on the situation, so we talked for a few minutes. It wasn't a "woe is me" type conversation. I just wanted to get her insight on the whole thing. She then tells me that I was going to get a $1500 Christmas bonus this year, and after hearing that my mind was made up on getting the furnace.


So after our chat I told the better half of this development. And what were her first words upon hearing this?


"Why are you getting such a large amount?"


"Why are you getting such a large amount?"


The fuck? Because I don't work for a bunch of dickheads anymore, I bust my ass and I'm actually APPRECIATED for what I do. Good Christ.

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I never thought of $1500 as a "large amount" with regard to Christmas bonus....that is until I compared it with what I'm getting...zero. I don't really care. I've never gotten a Christmas bonus in my life. I figured they were a thing of the past except for people at Fortune 500 companies.

We had to get a new furnace during late spring. A little over $5,000. It is a LOT more efficient than what we had and our electric bill is down considerably since we got it. Too bad our furnace didn't break down on Jan 21st. Obama would've taken care of us along with our mortgage and gasoline costs.

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Congrats on the bonus. Because of my announcing I was leaving I likely fucked myself out of my bonus, which was going to be considerable this year. Which shows just how much I needed to leave because I knew I'd likely not get my bonus, which will probably be handed out to everybody next week. Didn't you just start at this place mid year too? Sounds like a full year would net you an even better bonus.

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I got the job sometime in December (the middle of the month, I think, because I attended the building's Christmas lunch party). I didn't actually start until MLK day in January of this year because, believe it or not, I stayed at my old job to finish up some remaining work.


I gave my notice right after the new year. This was because the paperwork from our contractor didn't get done until the last wee in '07 and my boss wanted to wait until it was all official-like to have me give my notice to my then-employer. I also wanted to wait until the new year when my last paycheck of 2007, which had some vacation time on it, cleared (it wouldn't have surprised me if my former employer tried to Jew me out of this because they love to spend quarters to save nickels). I also waited for the new year so I could cash out the new vacation pay I "earned" for 2008. If my former employers would not have given me that money I would have left the day I turned in my resignation. And it's not like I did nothing my final weeks there. I still put in the same effort as I did before.


With two-and-a-half weeks lead time in early January, I told the powers-that-be that this would be enough time to hire someone to replace me, and I would be more than happy to show them the ropes my last week, or the week after my departure. Instead they waited until MARCH to bring on my replacement. And hilarity ensued, considering she didn't know what the hell she was doing. But that's another story for another time.

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