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11/20: Not The Most Enterprising Entry I've Made

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10 p.m.


• Well, it's been a while since I've posted anything. Oh well. Let's see, what should I talk about? How about commercials.


You know what ads I routinely can't stand? Those Enterprise commercials -- especially this one:




Aww, fuck. I can't find the video on YouTube. It's the one with the chick asking some guy what type of lingerie she should wear: the red or the black. The guy says "both." Then the Enterprise people pick them up and they drive a rented vehicle to some hotel, and then the creepy voice-over guy says, "romantic weekends." Man I hate Enterprise commercials.


First off, every time I hear that guy say "both" at the start of the ad I get a flashback to my idiot ex-boss. No, I wasn't asking him what naughty night-ware I should put on. I was given this 6-month assignment whose monthly deadlines fell at the same time as the job I was hired to actually do (not to mention other increasing duties that made my job impossible to do). When I asked my enlightened powers-that-be what should be dealt with first I got the typical "no answer" and they tried to go on to another subject. I interjected. Several times. Finally, the idiot says "both." I then questioned his leadership skills and noted that I was going to report his lack of management skills to our board (aka the "rubber stamp" brigade). Fun times ensued. Nothing was going to become of any of this dick-waving, but it's always fun to be an asshole.


Dick-waving. Asshole. Maybe I shouldn't have typed anything tonight.


Now that I have bitched about a series of ads I hate, let me go back to a series of ads I like. I know some of you hate those Free Credit Report.com ads. Well too bad. I like them. Now it's time for me to whip out the ol' ranking scale.


Number 6:






















Not bad, but not as good as the other five in my opinion. I'd rather have this on during commercial breaks than most of the other crap out there. Song is a bit blah and there's no noteworthy image. I will say this: I hated that asshole friend who, like the person at 0:11, decides to mess around with the windshield wipers while you're driving. And there's nothing wrong with beat-up rides -- hasn't he heard of Sir Mix-a-Lot's "My Hooptie"?




















Number 5:




















I like the old lady re-appearing from other, older ads at (0:19) and the pirate hat reference. However, I don't get the whole Renaissance Fair thing. God only knows where that guy is taking the poor goat.


















Number 4:



























Bitches be trippin'. And what's she all pissed off about? It was HER credit that fucked them over. Oh, and if you married your "dream girl," then there's that thing during the wedding that says, "for better or for worse." Oh, and how about saving up and making a down payment? You two are white, I'm sure there would be a bunch of Jew bankers lining up around your in-law's basement door to take your money.




















Number 3:






















If you're going to get jiggy with it, you need a better beat. The synthesizer-voice thing does not fit well either. The white guy's facial expression at 0:21 seals the deal for me.

























Number 2:




















But I don't wanna be a Pirate! Every time I see that old lady make that facial expression at 0:19 I get reminded of all the time I had that look given to me, whether I was a little bastard in church as a kid or starting verbal confrontations with people at polling places during election day. Yee-hah.




















Number 1:




















That's right, I'm going Commie GREEN! Why do I like this ad over the other five? Several reasons:


1) The music is different than three of the previous ads. Nice change of pace.


2) It's a continuation of the previous ad with the compact car.


3) The old lady is back (0:06)! And I have also received a number of those disgusted looks during my life, too.


I didn't catch this, but apparently the black guy at the start of this ad is also in the "rapper" video. (He's the one taking back his keys.) There's also a shot of pirate hats in several of these ads. Cute.


Christ, I don't post for a week and THIS is what I come up with? Might as well go out on a high note...




























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That picture will never stop making me laughing.


Did you see anything like that on your FL vacation?

No, but maybe you have to stay for the 5:30 Shamu show at seaworld to see that. That would have worked better with the 'believe' theme anyway. YOU WILL BELIEVE A WHALE CAN FUCK YOUR WIFE IN THE ASS!

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