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New location, same lame blog

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Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Weekend wrap-up

Anybody show up for work/school an hour early today? If you did, you're a retard...   -----------------------------   I think the Patriots and Colts played a football game of some importance yesterday that apparently lived up to the hype. I can't be sure of this though as those of us in the Houston TV market were not allowed to see the game thanks to existence of the Houston Texans. Because of them, we were stuck with the scintillating Texans-Raiders contest which was, um, not as good as the Pats-Colts game.   Fortunately, I did not have to suffer through that game because, on Thursday, my brother called and asked if I would come out to his place on Sunday and help him move some furniture. They are building a house and will be moving in (hopefully) shortly before Christmas and I had promised him about six weeks ago that I would help once their current house sold. Well, this past week, they accepted a cash offer for their current house. That's the good news.   The bad news is that, in order for the deal to go through, they have to be completely moved out by the 12th of this month.   So when sfaJill and I show up yesterday ready to go, what do we find? Chaos. Nothing in the house has been packed and clothes are strewn about all over the place; if you didn't know they had sold the place, you'd have no idea they were moving. We spent two hours just clearing drawers and shelves of stuff so we could move it all the storage place.   Then, after we FINALLY get a load of furniture onto the trailer and make a run to the storage place, it is revealed that the unit they have rented is only 5' X 12' in size. Can you guess what happens next? Yep, we don't have enough room to fit the stuff we brought with us in there, much less the rest of the stuff still at the house.   They're supposed to call about renting another (bigger) unit today and I've been asked to go back out there Saturday to complete Phase Two of this big move. Brother is on notice that if they haven't finished packing up all their crap enough to where all we have to do is load up boxes and the remaining into the trailer, I'm walking. We'll see what happens.   Ah, family. Too bad you can't pick 'em.   -----------------------------   Friday night, I was suffering from a fairly severe case of insomnia. Bored and desperate for something to watch, I chose RV, which was running on Encore. What a mistake. Somebody get Robin Williams back on coke, stat.   The only redeeming thing about this movie is Kristin Chenoweth. Between this show and Pushing Daisies, I have developed quite the little crush on her.   -----------------------------   Election Day tomorrow for us Texans. It's expected that no more than 15% of voters will turn out statewide. I'm sure the other 85% will bitch incessantly about whatever the result is though.
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

September can kiss my ass

Just what the title says. The month of September can just kiss my ass and go away already.   Between sfaJill (TM kkk) needing an emergency appendectomy back on the 4th, having the A/C in my truck (a necessity down here) become mostly non-functional two days after that (after just buying new tires and shocks/brakes for it last month), and my mom finally losing her battle with cancer on the 10th, it’s been one fucked up month.   But at least the Cubs are clinging to first place and the Cowboys are 2-0. And we had a nice vacation in the lovely communist utopia of Massachusetts (more on that in another blog). Problem is, I feel like I need another one even though this is only the seventh day I’ve actually been in the office since August 22.
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Painted into a corner

Nope, this entry has nothing to do with the painting going on at my residence right now. Rather, there is controversy in Farmers Branch again. You might remember that Farmers Branch is the little community south of Dallas that recently tried to pass a city ordinance that would ban the rental of apartments to illegal aliens.   Story     Let me start by stating that I don't like homeowners associations. I understand why they exist and I acknowledge that they can be useful in some instances. But, usually, it's just a bunch of obsessive-compulsive types who nitpick over a lot of stupid, little shit that really has zero effect on property values either because they have nothing better to do or because they enjoy bossing others around a little too much. I especially detest the idea that someone else can dictate to me what I can and cannot do with property that I own, espeically when it's a non-government entity telling me to do so. My neighborhood has a HOA, but I deal with it because it's practically impossible to find a Houston suburb that doesn't have one and I do not wish to move back into the city.   This story is a little different because it would be a government dicating what is and what is not acceptable, but the same principle applies: don't tell private property owners what they can and cannot do with their own property.   "Some residents." What does that mean? According to the article:     So a whole two residents ask the council, who has not said they will act on it, to ban some exterior colors and it's portrayed as some sort of community-wide referendum on the matter? Fine journalistic work, indeed.     LOL. Now that's a racist statement. Who paints their house tropical colors? Someone who likes the tropics? Someone who wants to be reminded of their vacation? Someone who just happens to like tropical colors? What exactly is a "tropical color" anyway?   What better way to accuse someone of profiling a group than to profile that same group yourself.   Besides, there are plenty of white people that have awful decorating taste and would paint their houses ridiculous colors if they were allowed. I don't see a racial angle to this at all. Just another example of someone wanting to be angry about something.   This argument is used a lot, but no proof that it's true is ever offered. Besides, anyone who won't buy a house because there is another house nearby painted in an "unsightly" manner is probably someone you don't want in the neighborhood anyway because there's a good chance they'd be the stereotypical nightmare of a neighbor.   As with all things in the U.S., the free market will ultimately determine what your property is really worth. All the mowing and beige paint in the world isn't going to save your property value from a downturn in the housing market, nor is it going to suddenly turn a shitty area of town into a property hotbed. If you maintain and clean your own property, your house will sell just fine in any market.   I wish someone that lived in these folks' neighborhood would paint their vehicle an outlandish color, park it in front of their house every day, and see how long it takes for their heads explode.    
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Crime of the century

I forgot my wedding ring at home today. I'm not sure how it happened, but I walked out of the house without it on my finger and didn't realize it until I was almost all the way to the office. Oh well. Whatever, right?   WRONG   Fast forward an hour or so. This happens:   *desk phone rings* sfaJill's cell phone number is on the display.   "Hey, babe."   "Hi, honey. I've got a question for you."   "What?"   "Are you feeling different today? Maybe more...single?"   "Yeah, I know. I forgot my ring."   "Uh huh."   "You saw it on the dresser, didn't you?"   "Uh huh..."   (sarcastically) "And you're calling to lecture me about it, aren't you?"   (seriously--definitely not sarcastic) "How did you forget it?? How did that happen?"   "I don't know. I guess I just forgot to put it on."   "But how? You have the same routine every morning! How did you not realize you forgot your ring?"   ...   "Are you really this upset about me forgetting my ring?"   "No. But I just thought you would be more aware of it. It's your ring!"   "You sound upset."     And it went on for a couple more minutes. I neglected to bring up the number of times that's she either left her ring at home or we've had to pull back into the driveway because she suddenly realized she didn't have it. And nevermind that this is the first instance of me forgetting to put the goddamn ring on that either of us can remember.   Yet, somehow, it was the crime of the fucking century this morning. Bitches be trippin'.
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Boredom in Cubicle 211-A

This is probably the most boring day of work I've had since March or April. I basically have nothing to do as my latest project is at a point where I can do nothing further until I receive it back from the accounting manager assigned to it and either rework whatever needs rework or proceed to the next phase.   So what am I left to do? Surf the Internet, of course. And post another high quality blog entry.   Much like kkk yesterday though, I don't really have much to talk about. And my post won't even have the awesomeness that is the whale picture so you, dear reader, are screwed.     A few minor news items, I guess:   1. I got a jury summons in the mail the other day for December 1. This is the second time I've been summoned for jury duty but the first time I will actually have to go. While I'm kind of excited about doing my civic duty to convict someone, I'm hoping like hell I'll get downtown and be dismissed rather quickly so I can go back home and play video games all day. My company pays us if we're out for jury duty so there is NO WAY I'm going to the office even if my jury day is over at 9 a.m.   Of course, my luck will be not only will I get picked, but it'll be a case that lasts for three weeks.     2. sfaJill's been bitching lately about wanting a new cell phone because hers hasn't been working too well lately. Or something. I don't know. Since our cell phone contract was about to expire anyway, we went down to the T-Mobile store last Friday to renew it. I took advantage of the massive discount offered (with a 2-year extension of course) and snagged their new G1 phone.   I've never got the appeal of the iPhone or any of that junk...   ...until I played with this thing. I have no idea if it's 'better' than an iPhone or not but I don't care. I love this phone. I'm hooked. Call me a sheep; I do not care!   Now all I need is friends to call or (preferably) text...     3. I just returned from a lunch with sfaJill and one of her friends at Yao Ming's bistro/bar here in town. I'd never been there before and my unrefined tastes in food probably can't tell good Chinese food from vomit-inducing, undercooked crap...but this was good Chinese food. Lunch menu prices, too so it's a double bonus. Plus, Yao's uncle came around to greet our table. Dude is like 6' 7". It was kind of strange to see an Asian dude that tall and he's not on a basketball court.     Let's see...what else. The list of the world's most dangerous toys is out.   It's official: we should just wrap all the little bastards in bubble wrap each morning before we send them out into the world.   Remember potato guns?   Lawn darts?   Trampolines (without the net around it)?   Sleeping in an actual treehouse you built yourself?   TACKLE football??   Doing any of that shit would get your parents arrested these days.
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Birthday fun

30 feels no different than 29. Big surprise. I'm still marching slowly towards the end. The good news at least is that I'm one year closer to 'Senior Citizen' status and all the various discounts and freebies that entitles one to.   I stopped caring about my birthday 12 years ago. I figured once I turned 18 and became able to die for my country and blow all my money on lottery tickets, it was all downhill from there anyway, so why give a shit?   sfaJill, on the other hand, loves birthdays. So at some point today, I will have to pick a restaurant so she can go buy me dinner, I'll have to pick a "fun activity" to do, and I'll have to open at least one present from her. In fact, we had this exchange last night:   "Honey, I'm sorry. I think I gave you most of your birthday presents at Christmas."   "So?"   "Well, you're probably only going to have one to open tomorrow."   "There's a 1% chance I'll give a shit."   "I know, I know."   (moment of silence)   "Maybe I'll take you to Best Buy or somewhere like that and let you pick out something you want."   "Yeah...maybe. I guess."   ------------------------------   So why am I queerin' up TSM this morning? Because my in-laws have this insane tradition of calling their children (and now children-in-law) at 5:30 in the morning on their birthday and (terribly) singing Happy Birthday over the phone and now I can't get back to sleep. It's gonna be a great day.   Neither of us were amused by this tradition this year, particularly since it was nearly 3 AM before we went to sleep. sfaJill even lectured her dad saying, "You're calling at 5:30 on a SATURDAY morning; of course I'm going to assume something is wrong."   ------------------------------   It's the exact opposite with my dad. For YEARS he always got my brother's and my birthdays mixed up--he always thought mine was January 28 and my bro's was December 24 when if fact mine is January 24 and my bro's is December 28. Well, he called about 20 minutes ago and we had this conversation. It's funny to me; YMMV.   Dad: "I was just calling because it's your birthday. Wait...it is the 24th right?"   Me: (laughing)"Yes."   Dad: "Well, alright."   Me: "You didn't get us mixed up this year. What happened?"   Dad: "I don't know. It's probably because Nicole (my sister-in-law) said something about it earlier this week."      
sfaJack

sfaJack

2
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Thanksgiving fallout

Another Thanksgiving has come and gone and what a glorious day it was. The Cowboys rolled over the Jets, the temperature outside FINALLY dropped out of the 80's around here, and I enjoyed a tremendous Thanksgiving sirloin at Benigan's (the only thing open in Dallas on Turkey Day, besides IHOP, which sucks). What about all the family stuff? Well...   At the last moment Thursday morning, sfaJill decided that she'd rather go with me and my dad to Dallas to watch the Cowboys than to her sister's house to hang out with that clan. Her reasoning was some crap about being together on our first Thanksgiving as husband and wife, but I think she just didn't want to deal with all the potential drama I wrote about last time. The plan was for us to go to the game and then hook up with her family upon getting back to Houston on Friday, which sounds easy enough.   So Friday morning rolls around; her dad calls about 10:30 to find that we're still a few miles north of Houston's far northern suburbs. Plans are made for us to go home, get unpacked and call them back when we're ready to meet up (note: it took sfaJill nearly 15 minutes on the phone to decide THAT because God forbid anybody on her side make a decision about anything ever). Whatever. We've still got nearly an hour's drive to get home.   Around noon, after we've gotten home and my dad has headed off to work, sfaJill and I are ready. She calls her dad back and thus begins another 20 minutes of that world-famous game "where do you want to eat?" The choices are finally narrowed down to Golden Corral (which is awesome) and this Chinese buffet near the house (which is also awesome), so, really, we can't lose either way. After some back and forth crap on the subject, I'm asked for my "opinion" (translation: nobody wants to decide everyone else's fate so they're going to try to get me to do it); I reply that since I had just eaten breakfast a few hours earlier, I'm not really hungry and thus don't really care where we go since I probably won't eat much either way (which actually was true). That frustrates sfaJill to no end, but it is somehow finally decided that Golden Corral is the choice.   Not five minutes later, while sfaJill is still running around the house frantically searching for a hair brush to toss in her purse, the phone rings. I answer. It's my father-in-law.   "Hello, Jack."   "Hey, Martin."   "We've got a change of plans."   "Oh?"   "Yeah, your mother-in-law wants to go to the Chinese place instead."   Sigh. I swear...   So, anyway, we all meet up at the Chinese place to find her dad, mom, brother, and 3-year-old nephew. No sign of sister or brother-in-law. We were told they didn't want to come. Good. That made the lunch actually kind of enjoyable because there is always less tension without sister there. Father-in-law even pcks up the check (score!).   It was going really well...and then sfaJill invited everyone over to our house for the afternoon. The problem? They're not allowed to bring the nephew to our house, says mother-in-law. Apparently, sister has decided that since we had such a problem with his behavior the last time he was there that it's best if he just not go over to our house anymore. Thus, my in-laws are afraid of taking him here, out of fear he will mention to mommy that he was at Uncle Jack and Aunt Jill's house and then they will catch hell about it.   (I should note that the "problem" with nephew's behavior last time was that he kept pulling cushions off our couches, jumping all over them/throwing them everywhere , and then didn't put them back on the couches after both sfaJill and I told him to stop. Sister wrote that off as "He's three! What, you think he can sit still for 10 minutes?" and after I told her "Uh, yeah" and sfaJill backed me up, sister's been "punishing" us for it ever since. This happened back in June, by the way.)   sfaJill was PISSED.   We spent the rest of the afternoon wandering around Sam's Club in an effort to spend some quality time together, but I wouldn't call it that. sfaJill and her mom did nothing but bitch about sister the whole time, which just made everyone but the kid unhappy. It was a long day that ended with an invitation (from the in-laws) to us to come to sister's house today for something called "turkey pie." I have no idea what that is. sfaJill said she doesn't want to go if she's not welcome there, to which her dad said "Well, I'M welcoming you". So, I think we're gonna go. Should be awkward silences for everyone!   Yesterday was not a total waste though. I did find 7lbs of 90% lean ground beef for $16 at Sam's Club yesterday. Can't pass up a deal like that.
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Willie Nelson wears a tinfoil hat

In my inbox this morning, this little piece of spam (with today's date stamped on it no less) made its way past the filters:   From: JEFF TALLOW Subject: NOBODY CAN STOP BRADY & MOSS!!!!!!!!!!!!   The entire body of the message was: "The Patriots rule."   That's it. No penis enlargement ads...no phishing links...no offers to give me 10% of a secret Nigerian fortune--just "The Patriots rule."   Oddest piece of spam I've seen in a while...   ---------------------   For those that argue that weed has no harmful long-term effects, I present evidence to the contrary:   Link     ---------------------   Yesterday was my boss's birthday. To mark this glorious occasion each year, the whole group goes out to lunch at whatever local eatery she picks. Normally, I don't go on such group outings because 1) I don't really enjoy the company of most of my co-workers and 2) paying nearly $10 for lunch isn't fun but since this is the boss and I'll only be working for her for a couple more weeks I figured what the hell and went.   Big mistake.   What was supposed to be a group of 10 turned into a group of 15 thanks to a couple of the dunce caps in the group inviting extra people. The problem? The table that had been reserved was for 10, which led to all of us getting a little too close for comfort. Throw in the fact that the bun on my chicken sandwich was hard as a rock and the ice tea tasted like it was made with the dish water and you have the recipe for a fun outing.   At least I was able to escape the crowd after a bit and waste a few minutes playing the Ms. Pac Man machine that I saw on my way in through the door. And it was only 25 cents a play. I haven't seen a 25 cent machine in probably 5 years.
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

$5 strippers

Well, not exactly. The strippers aren't $5, but it might cost you that to see some boobies:   Link   Huzzah, I guess. I don't remember hearing of this latest sneaky attempt by our state Legislature to increase sin taxes (again), but, much like per pack cigarette taxes, I don't care too much since I don't go to strip clubs and thus am not affected by it. And, frankly, anything that might help prevent taxes I actually do pay from rising is fine with me.   The problem is that, of course, the government will win the suit, collect this tax, completely waste the money, and then find a new way to tax everyone anyway. So, uh, go strip clubs! Stick it to the man!   My favorite part of the article is this:     One of my favorites (behind "seperation of church and state" and "RAYCISM~!"): the "FREE SPEECH VIOLATION" card.   I know some commie judge will agree with this and overturn the law, but how much of a restriction of free speech is this? The government is not banning strip clubs or imposing more "5 feet away" rules--it's just requiring a $5 cover charge to get in the club. Debate all you want on whether it's fair to levy the fee or not, but I don't get how it's a free speech infringement.    
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Getting my name in the paper...maybe

So I was interviewed by one of the Houston Chronicle's sportswriters yesterday for a story they're doing about sports and the economy. On Wednesday, on his blog, he asked for reader feedback on the topic; specifically, has the DAMN BUSH ECONOMY affected your decisions to attending sports events, be they high school, college, or professional.   My dad and I have had season tickets to the Dallas Cowboys the past four seasons. Other than most of the shitty preseason games, we've not missed a single game during that time. This season, we are not renewing our tickets. Our decision has nothing to do with the massive playoff disappointment of last year or ever-rising ticket prices ($130 a game this last year vs. $78 back in '04, our first year). Rather, with gas likely to be at or near $4 a gallon by the time the season starts and a decent hotel room now costing between $85-90 (as opposed to $60 back in '04), making 8-10 500-mile round trips to Dallas just doesn't make a lot of sense anymore. We've been priced out. Neither of us are very happy about it (and will probably kick ourselves if the 'Boys end up hosting the NFC Championship Game or something), but other than lay out a couple thousand dollars in travel costs (in addition to the tickets), we don't have much choice.   Anyway, since the topic struck a nerve with me, I sent an e-mail to this guy briefly describing our dilemma and decision; he wrote back and asked if he could call me to do a formal interview on Thursday. I said sure and our game of phone tag finally ended last night around 6:00. During our chat, he said he's heard from several folks like me so there's no guarantee that he'll use our story, but I thought it was kind of cool to be part of it.   sfaJill wasn't quite as impressed, but strangley had no comment when I asked if she'd prefer I have my name in the paper because it's in either the obituaries or the police report for slapping her around a while...    
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Door slamming, RAYCISM~!, and valuable dog poop

My wife called me an ass last night because I had the audacity to basically slam our front door in the face of a guy who was trying to sell carpet cleaning - at 8:45 p.m.   "It's 8:45! That is too damn late to be knocking on somebody's door selling shit."   "You still should have just told him 'no thank you' and been nice about it."   "Or maybe he should learn not to bother people with his crap so late."   *Sigh* "I love you anyway, even if you are a jerk."   "I know."   -------------------------------------------------   HA HA HA     I saw this on the local news this morning and (after I finished laughing) was left a little baffled as to exactly how this is racist considering the number of dumb/lazy white people we have living off of welfare in this country. That is definitely not a "problem" exclusive to black, brown, albino or whatever other people.   But, of course, they had an angry black woman on camera (not quoted here) decrying this as one the worst things she's ever seen because her daughter saw it and it hurt her very much to have to explain to her kid why this sign is so offensive. Nevermind the fact that she herself instantly assumed that the sign was aimed at black people.   I can't wait to see how long it will be before she or someone else sues Mr. Ransom for his horrible display of inhumanity.   -------------------------------------------------   Ewwww   You know what? I'd go retrieve it, too. $650 is $650. If you wear rubber gloves, it's not much worse than cleaning a litter box.
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

OMG INTERNET DRAWMUH~!, fake rock climbing

WOW. And here I thought the hottest feud on the Internet was kkk v. niskie...   Link     ---------------------------------   My wife and I both had the day off yesterday so we went "rock climbing" at this place as the final piece of her birthday celebration (don't ask). She's climbed before, as there was a climbing wall at the YMCA camp she used to work at. Yesterday was the first time up such a wall for me though. It was fun, but I'm not sure I understand why anyone would partake in an activity where your main objective is to not die.   The good news is that I didn't fall and break my neck like I thought I might. In fact, other than getting "stuck" on the wall a couple of times (i.e. not being able to reach the next foot/hand grip) and having to come down and start over, my experience wasn't too humiliating.   Well, unless you count the time we had to yell for help because my shirt had come untucked from my harness just enough that it got itself wedged into the belaying device, rendering me unable to feed the rope back through (and leaving my wife dangling 50 feet in the air) or the time when the 9-year-old girl who was climbing next to me reached the top of the wall in about half the time it took me to do so as humiliating. If you count that as having a bad day, then I had a bad day.   ---------------------------------   12 pages (out of 20) of that damned wedding album have been put together. There is hope yet...
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

I'm a minority! Now where's my check?

kkk is worried about the invasion creeping into his neighborhood? It could be worse...   Link   That's right. Harris County, my home, is not so white bread anymore. I guess it's time for us to pack up from and head for The Woodlands. Or, if we can't afford that just yet, Sugar Land will do. In the meantime, let's examine some highlights from the article:   Big surpise. Immigration is a huge issue/problem here and with the ridiculous amount of new, entry-level/cheap housing that has been built throughout the area, I suppose it was only a matter of time.   The dramatic increase in crime in Houston over the last two years can be attributed to Katrina too, but nobody is allowed to say that out loud. In fact, I expect the PC Police to come kick down my door moments after I post this. Assuming anyone is reading, that is.   That's a lot, but not as much as I would have thought, considering Houston absorbed nearly 60,000 Katrina refugees immediately after the storm.   If this is the same "new" United States that will make Hilary Clinton or Barack Obama the next President, you can shove it up your ass.   Ok, what the hell does this even mean? "New Texans?" If you weren't fucking born here, you are not a Texan. Period. Besides, true Texans do not have the goddamn Mexican flag flying in their front yard or hanging off the back of their roach coach taco trucks and do not look at you dumbfounded when they ask you something in Spanish and your only response is to stare blankly back at them like all these "new" Texans do.   Education? Check. Houston ISD schools are terrible. They're like 90% minority. Coincidence?   Health services? Check. A recent report that ran in this same newspaper (I wish I could find the link) claims the average wait time at an emergency room here is about 6 hours and that the city was mobilizing an effort to encourage people to take greater advantage of new free clinics located in "selected" areas of town.   And I'm sure George Bush still hates them because they escaped his Hurricane-O-Matic.     On second thought, maybe one of these two counties will do.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

We're all gonna die

Tropical Storm depresssion Erin is bearing down on the south Texas coast. According to our local TV weatherpersons (OMG political correctness~!), those of us in the Houston metro area (200+ miles north of the storm's landfall) should brace for the imminent death and destruction this storm will surely bring.   Oh, wait. What's that? It's actually just going to rain a lot over the next couple of days? Get the fuck out of here with all that stupid KATRINA WAS A VERY REAL TRAGEDY THAT COULD HAPPEN TO US TOO bullshit.   In other tropics news, Hurricane Dean continues to head for the Yucatan Peninsula. Barring a change of course, landfall is expected there sometime early next week. Good to know that George Bush hates Mexicans, too.   -----------------------   For the second time in three months, a Saudi guy had his snakes confiscated at the Cairo airport.   I've flown out of the Cairo airport. Maybe it was because it was about 3 in the morning when we were boarding my particular flight or maybe it was because the flight was headed to Amsterdam (instead of the U.S.) and security didn't think the terrorists would be interested in jihading a plane that wasn't likely have a lot of Americans on board, but security was not too concerned with checking anything or anybody too closely.   Every time the metal detector went off, they'd wave you through. No carry-ons were opened, no liquids were banned from the flight--yet they've confiscated two bags full of snakes in three months. Weird.   -----------------------   This guy's stunt got a chuckle out of me but I doubt he'd find it funny if his tenants decided to pay him in change to protest his high rental rates.   -----------------------   Wait--scam artists use the Internet to carry out their schemes?? I'm SHOCKED.   This world has gotten pretty bad when you can't even safely travel to an African nation and meet with a total stranger who said she loves you and has promised to pay you $85,000 in gold if you come rescue her from her hellhole of a homeland anymore.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

My wife...

...might be the worst driver on this planet.   At the very least, she jumped way up in both polls last night.   Maybe it was just aggression from the bad day she had. Maybe she really just didn't see that one stop sign that was kind of hidden by an overhanging branch. Maybe the one guy that pulled out in front of her is just a dumbass. And maybe I should just count my blessings because there was no accident and nobody got hurt.   But still, I think I'd have been less horrified if we'd just wiped out a truck full of puppies and gone back home.
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

99 years

.194   .087   37   6   What are these numbers? They are a quick summary of how completely incompetent the Cubs were against the Arizona Diamondbacks in their NLDS series that ended last night in a 3-0 Arizona sweep.   .194 = the Cubs' batting average for the series   .087 = their batting average with runners in scoring position (2-for-23), and one of those two was a weak infiled single   37 = the numbers of baserunners they had in the series   6 = the number of those baserunners that scored   How do you lose a playoff series and look completely pathetic in doing so? That's a really good start.   It also helps to have two of your biggest bats (Alfonso Soriano and Aramis Ramirez) combine for two hits, your best reliever over the second-half of the season implode, and to hit into about 14 rally-killing double plays.   I really don't know why I thought this year might be different for the Cubs. Maybe I'll never learn. Still...being swept in the first round is a better end to the season than finishing with the worst record in the league as they did last year.   At least that's what I've been telling myself for the last 12 hours...
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Awkward company parties

So sfaJill's company's Chirstmas Holiday Party was last night at the fabulous Houstonian Hotel. This is the third one of these things that we've attended (although this is the first one at her new company) and I absolutely hate them because, for me, it's four hours of standing faithfully by her side, making small talk and cracking terrible jokes to a bunch people I've either never met or only see once a year at these parties (and thus don't remember their names anyway). Not exactly a good situation for me, given my general lack of ability to socialize.   Toss in the guarded tension in the air (as in people always seem to be reluctant to cut loose and say and act they way they really want to out of fear of harming their career by offending either the boss or one of the affirmative action hires) and the usual office cliques still being in effect and it's usually a pretty awkward situation. Last night's gathering also featured a balcony where all the smokers spent most of their time and, since I am allergic to cigarette smoke, sfaJill and I spent a lot of time sitting at our table entertaining each other because she was afraid to leave me by myself out of fear I would have a totally miserable time (as opposed to the semi-miserable time I ended up having).   The comedy highlight of the nights were these:   - The little DJ they hired. Dude had so many problems with songs either cutting off or skipping uncontrollably that, at one point, one of the drunk guys in the back (it was open bar) yelled, "Great job with the music man! YOU ROCK!" I do have to give the DJ a little credit though--any guy that can seamlessly merge "Stayin' Alive" into George Strait's "I Cross My Heart" has to have some mad skillz.   - sfaJill's boss. Dude is from deep Louisiana Cajun country, which is almost enough entertainment by itself. However, last night, he was wielding a camera and insisted on taking several pictures of damn near everyone in the place, including a couple with me, sfaJill, and...a couple of the other office females sitting my lap. Maybe you had to be there, but the way he basically ordered them all to just have a seat and smile big while sfaJill just sat there with a WTF look on her face was priceless.   Oh well. At least that's over for another year. Now I just have to get through another party next Saturday night, this time at the home of one of her coworkers. I've been told to be ready for a few "party games." Oh, God...   On Dec. 22, my company is hosting their first "official" company Christmas party in nine years at the Hilton downtown. Fortunately, we won't be attending. We have to go to Kansas City for sfaJill's cousin's wedding, which is the same night. Oh, damn the luck. sfaJill is really annoyed by this though, because I've been at my place of employment for over six years now and, because I do NOT hang out with any of them outside of work, the only time she's ever met any of my coworkers was back in September at my Mom's funeral when four of them showed up (and that wasn't exactly a social occassion). She claims she is dying to meet those people because she can "finally put a face to the names you come home bitching about" but I think she just wants to see if I have any hot female coworkers she can get jealous about. I don't know. I told her it's just as well we have to be in KC that night because I probably wouldn't go to the party anyway.
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Is renting an apartment to a Muslim...

...the worst thing you can do to them?   sfaJill has a friend who used to work as an apartment manger. The friend still keeps in touch with a couple of people there and recently learned of this story that happened:   A Muslim couple came in looking for a place and were told that only one apartment was available at that moment. They wanted to see it, so the leasing agent took them out for a tour of it. Immediately upon arriving at the apartment for a look around, the couple got angry. Why? Because the apartment for rent was #911.   They were apparently very insistent that this would not be acceptable because "people here will think we are terrorists" and the other tenants would make their lives "miserable" if two Muslims moved into apartment #911.   Oh, how I love our overly sensitive society.   ---------------------------   In other news, it looks like the latest plan to renovate the Astrodome is dead.     Since the Astros left for Minute Maid Park in 2000 and the Houston Rodeo moved to Reliant Stadium in 2003, the Dome has basically been sitting there collecting dust, save for the occasional high school football playoff game. The final scene of that Friday Night Lights movie was filmed there a couple of years ago. And, of course, we all remember the Dome's last bit of infamy back in 2005 when George W. Bush had all those Katrina refugees locked inside, hoping they would all suffocate in a pile of their own waste.   There has been much talk about what to do with the Dome. One proposal was to turn it into an indoor track and field arena; that coincided with Houston's ill-fated attempt to land the 2012 Summer Olympics. Another was to turn it into a huge parking garage to alleviate the parking issues at Reliant Stadium, but I think somebody figured out that that would be nothing but a giant cardon monoxide death chamber. Still another would have turned it into a "world class" hotel/casino, the sole purpose of which (as proposed) would be to stop Texas gamblers from driving a few hours to the boats in Louisiana.   Thankfully, all of those proposals died. In addition to being idiotic, they would have required tax money to fund and Harris County has already spent over $1 billion on stadiums in the last 10 years; I don't think we need more. Especially for a building that is rapidly turning into ugly, purposeless eyesores in an unattractive part of town. Just tear down the Dome and be done with it, please. Nobody cares about its historical value, and visitors are no longer wowed by it, given the fancier playpens built elsewhere over the years. Please...just let it go so we can stop talking about it. It's for the best.      
sfaJack

sfaJack

1
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

PC Santas, raining on our moving parade

Well, at least this latest example of ridiculous PC bullshit isn't happening in America.   Yet.   Link     -----------------------------   So how did the second part of helping my brother move go this past weekend?   Since the heavy furniture was already gone, it was mostly boxes left to move. Boxes are always easier, especially when you have the help of a dolly. There was a still a little too much disorganization, in that the kitchen hadn't been packed at all and the few remaining furniture pieces still had stuff in them and thus couldn't be moved without having to be cleaned out first, but, to my great surprise, it was a pretty easy day.   Well, unless you factor in these events:   - sfaJill wanting to kill my sister-in-law, who, for the second week in a row, perfected the art of sitting on her ass doing nothing all day (using the excuse of "I'm watching the kid") while sfaJill packed box after box of crap in the kitchen. (Note: sfaJill found no less than NINE crock pots in the one cabinet).   - Despite a few menacing clouds earlier in the morning, the rain held off and the sky cleared...right until brother and I were making a run to the storage unit to drop off the first load of crap. At that point the heavens opened completely, dumping an insane amount of rain on us for 5-10 minutes. Normally, that wouldn't be a big deal, except for the fact that we hadn't covered anything (because there were no rain clouds at the house!), so every box and piece of furniture we had packed was left completely soaked. Among the wreckage was the queen sized pillowtop mattress they paid $700 for just last year...   - I got into a fender bender on the drive over Saturday morning, leaving my truck with a busted turn signal and an estimate of $2,500 to replace the bumper and fix the dent in the hood. Fucking people who don't use turn signals...
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

May 20

Who didn't see this ruling coming?     ----------------------   Then there's this couple that got themselves banned from cruising for the rest of their lives.     I know that there are times when you just have a bad experience with the service industry. It happens, and sometimes it's not even the fault of your waiter (or whomever did you wrong).   But if you've taken six cruises (all with the same company), filed numerous complaints during five of them (yet continue to sail with the same company), been compensated for your "inconvenience" (by that same company), and STILL complain about what a horrible experience you've had (with the same company), I don't blame them at all for banning you. Find another cruise line or STFU already...   ----------------------   Back later with more...
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

A busy few days

Whew. It’s been a busy few days with precious little time for goofing around on the Internet. All the blame for that goes to married life. I’m quite certain nobody missed me here but here’s the recap nevertheless...   So last Friday, at 5:15 in the morning, my wife was in the shower when the phone rang. I glanced at the caller ID and both the caller name and phone number were showing as “Private.” Now, normally, such calls get either ignored or hung up on within two seconds because it’s usually somebody peddling some crap, but I picked it up thinking it could actually be an emergency since we don’t get many calls at any time of the day, much less at five in the morning.   “Hello? *Silence* “Hello? If you say nothing in two more seconds, I’m hanging up.” Female voice I do not recognize, “Hi, Jack?” (not my real name) “Uh, yeah? Who’s this?” “It’s me.” … “Who?” “You don’t know who this is?” “No, ‘fraid not.” “You don’t recognize my voice?” “No, I have no idea who you are.” … “You really don’t know who this is?” “No, I don’t.” “Oh. Well, fuck you then.” *Click*   Whatever. I still don’t know who that was. I’m gonna guess that it’s someone who was looking for someone with the same name as I and just picked the wrong guy out of the phone book since I would remember her if it was someone from my past. Could just be some prankster looking for a mark at five in the morning, I don’t know. Whoever it was, I’m just glad my wife didn’t answer the phone because that would have been an endless three-hour cycle of interrogation/denial of charges that I didn’t need.   -------------------------------   So what was I doing to keep me busy this weekend? Moving furniture! My wife’s company was bought recently and her office was moved to the west side of town a couple of months back. The new company only wanted the people to move to the new office so they left all of the office fixtures and furnishings behind in the old building, on which the lease isn’t up for like two more years. A few workers (including my wife) asked what was going to be done with the old furniture and, after being told whatever was left over was going to be sold wholesale to whomever wanted it (without an inventory of it taken), it was let known that they could take whatever they wanted as long as it was done very discreetly and the building was not left barren.   So my wife acquired a key and badge for the old building with the idea being that she and I would go up later Friday evening and quickly take as many bookcases as we could get in one truckload for us to use as desperately needed shelving in our garage. The problem came in when she told her family of our plan; their insistence that they come along and get some stuff for their own houses (they NEVER pass up free stuff—no matter how crappy that free stuff might be) coupled with my wife’s inability to ever tell her family no led to ten hours of moving fun (spread over two days) that left me and my brother-in-law sore from lifting all that shit as we were the only two physically capable of carrying it.   Thus, our original plan of “four or five bookcases” for our own house turned into six bookcases and a heavy-ass desk for our place (don’t ask), five bookcases, another heavy-ass desk, and a credenza for my sister-in-law’s house, and seven more bookcases and a table for my wife’s parents. Christ.   -------------------------------   I bought a new mp3 player on Saturday morning as my old, faithful one of nearly three years gave up the ghost late last week. I settled on this one after a bit of searching. Now, I know lots of people say avoid Creative products like the plague but fuck them. My first one lasted almost three years with heavy use/abuse; that earns Creative my business again.   -------------------------------   Barry Bonds tied Hank Aaron at 755 with a home rum off Clay Hensley in 2nd inning last Saturday night in San Diego. I’d been taking advantage of my Extra Innings package and recording every Giants game last week hoping to catch the record-tying/setting homers. The one night I didn’t set the TV to record? Saturday. Oh well. I’ll get #756, which is the one that really matters.   -------------------------------   Saw The Bourne Ultimatum last night. I absolutely love the first two Bourne movies and was not disappointed with this one. Nice, tight story, great action, and an awesome villain makes me very happy. The shaky camera thing everyone is bitching about is noticeable but didn’t bother me too much; certainly not enough to damped my experience anyway. ****, though you should probably watch the first two if you haven’t seen them yet or you risk being a little confused at a few points in the plot.   -------------------------------   I’m going to the Cubs/Astros game at Minute Maid tonight. Pitching match-up is Rich Hill v. Wandy Rodriguez. Normally, my presence would be bad news for the Cubs as I’ve only seen them win once at MMP, but I don’t think even my jinx can stop them from losing to the shitty Astros.   Or at least I hope not…
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Scrap Iron to the scrap heap; I'm going on vacation!

So the Astros fired both Phil Garner and general manager Tim Purpura earlier this week. Cecil Cooper took over managerial duties last night but fared no better as the Cardinals beat down the Astros 7-0.   Most people here were caught by surprise--not because they got fired, but rather because it happened at such an odd point in the season. Personally, I don't see much use in letting them go with only 31 games left in what is a lost season, but since Drayton McLane does what Drayton McLane wants to do, they are gone.   That leaves the question of what happens now. The Astros are a horrible team with few big time prospects ready to go in the minors. There is very little reason to think that they're suddenly going to return to contention next year with or without Garner and/or Purpura so, really, it seems to be an empty move. I guess they did it so they can tell their fans "See! We're doing something about it!", but until they commit to no longer trotting out mediocre (at best) talents like Adam Everett, Brad Ausmus, Luke Scott, etc., their bottom-dwelling days likely aren't over.   Then again the Astros are only 3-9 against the Pirates this year. That fact alone is probably enough to get anyone fired.   ---------------------   Rafer Alston isn't handling his transition to the unemployment line very well.     A pro athlete got arrested after an altercation at a night club? I'm shocked. At least there wasn't any gun play involved. I think the rule states there has to be a strip club involved before you can open fire though.   ---------------------   The wife and I leave tomorrow morning for a long weekend in Boston. I'm excited. For one, it means we're getting the hell out of this town for a few days. Secondly, the furthest I've ever traveled north and east in this country is Washington D.C., so this will be new territory for me.   I'm sure we'll hit a lot of the touristy shit that everyone does, like the Cheers bar, that Freedom Trail, Paul Revere's old house, etc., along with soaking up the sights and sounds of a new city. Plus she wants to go on a whale-watching harbor tour. That should be a nice six hours of my life. And I'll probably have to get on one of those swan boats. I don't know.   The highlight for me though will be the Red Sox and Orioles game on Sunday at Fenway Park. Fenway will be the eighth different MLB park I've been to and has always been #2 on my list of parks I've most wanted to visit. Our seats are in the Loge box (section 137) which should give a good view. Dice-K is scheduled to pitch for the Sox, so that's a nice bonus. Daniel Cabrera is supposed to throw for the O's; I wish it was Erik Bedard instead, but we rarely get everything we want in life.   The worst part about this vacation thing is getting through today. I have a BAD case of vacation-itis and totally don't care about any of the work on my desk today. It's only 9:10 and I'm already dying to go home. Maybe I'll take the afternoon off...  
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Eddie Griffin can't read

Former Rocket Eddie Griffin was killed in a car-train accident last week.   Anyone who followed Eddie Griffin knew he was headed for an early death, though I figured it would have been from a gunshot. At least he wasn't watching porn and masturbating when he ran into the train.   One question does come to mind though: if his body was so badly burned that it took dental records to identify him, then how can there be a toxicology report? Wouldn't all of that evidence be destoryed in the fire? Someone who watches one of those 20 different CSI shows help a brotha out....   -----------------------------   Here's a shock: Americans don't read. Personally, I think I read 4 or 5 books last year, which I guess puts me about average. In my youth, I read a lot more than I do now (most of the Hardy Boys books, for instance), but reading hasn't appealed to me much since I was forced to ead way too many uninteresting books in college. I just got burned out in those years and haven't ever felt the urge to start reading again.   Well, except for the Internet. The Internet is always fascinating. I'm sure the amount of time I've wasted just at TSM alone over the years is enough to put me in the "avid reader" category. If this sort of crap counted. Sadly, it's gotten me nothing but weird looks from my girlfriend/fiance/wife when she asks what I'm reading and I respond "a pro wrestling messageboard on the Internet."   At least the headline wasn't "1 in 4 Adults CAN'T Read". Yet. I'm sure if we give the Democrats enough time to fuck up public education we'll get there eventually. Although, to be fair, W. and his gang haven't done much better in that regard.  
sfaJack

sfaJack

0
Notes From Cubicle 211-A
 

Lightning Crashes and the Hurricane Dean watch is on

So, uh, yesterday the rain from tropical depression Erin hit much of south and central Texas with lots of rain, including us good folks here in Houston. Dozens of surface roads, underpasses, and even one of the freeways (Hwy 288) were closed due to high water all around. A couple hundred idiots who should know by now not to drive through the water when you can't see the road beneath were forced to abandon their cars. Poor people all around town ended up at the shelters and ended up on the news crying for help because they got a little bit of water in their yards. One homeless lady stuck under a bridge did have to be rescued though. That's not good.   But forget all that flooding and shit. The highlight of the day for me, easily, was around 11:30 yesterday morning. That's when we heard a somewhat loud boom outside the building here and then...THE LIGHTS WENT OUT. All around the office, printers stopped spitting out paper, desk radios that had been turned up to unreasonable volumes were silent, and computer screens went blank, depriving dozens of workers of the porn they were looking at. A lightning strike had hit a transformer in the area and blown the power to the whole area. It was pandemonium.   Or not. Actually, other than a few "Oh my Gods!" from a few of the more exciteable folks around here, it was pretty calm. Most of the people here spent the next 2 hours gathered out by the elevators, bonding over awkward conversation and a round of singing by a few of our more shameless co-workers under the soft glow of emergency lighting. Me? I stretched out in the two chairs in my cube and took a nap. Why go out there and hang with them when I can catch a few winks?   After a couple of hours of having us just sit around in the dark with nothing to do, management sent us home for the day since they were told we'd have no power for "several more hours" by the light company. I'm sure the lost productivity killed them, but what choice did they have?   So I braved the rain and made it home in time to squeeze in a couple games of Madden 08 before the wife arrived home and killed the fun. Oh well. It was a good day while it lasted.   The bad news is that the real fun has just begun. Hurricane Dean is projected to enter the Gulf of Mexico early next week and make landfall anywhere from the Yucatan Peninsula to Houston. Of course, despite there being several hundred miles between those two points, the news crews have already started "gather up all your valuable shit, go into the closet nearest the center of your house, and duck and cover your head because Dean is going to be our armageddon" mode. Sigh. We'll see what actually happens. I'm not worried; George Bush has his ranch here so he wouldn't let us get destroyed, would he?
sfaJack

sfaJack

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