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9/26: #54, Week 3 Pickkks

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kkktookmybabyaway

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KKK’s Top 103 Posters

 

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Number 54: Cobain was Murdered

 

I like the guy, even though I didn’t actually speak to CWM until several years into my TSM posting. He's had an interesting selection of jobs, from his stint as a rugged lumberjack to being able to go to town with a store's slurpee machine (and don't forget about the other perks of working third-shift at a Quickie-Mart). Then there's the gnomes. Lots of gnomes. Oodles and oodles of gnomes. With the recent tensions between Mrs. kkk and our next-door neighbors, I wonder if CWM wouldn't mind taking his show on the road.

 

And now a word or two from the expert panel I have put together to comment on the people I’ve listed.

 

From SFA Jack:

I think he cares about what happens at TSM a little too much--that costs him some cool points. However, he did wage war on his neighbors with lawn gnomes. That's not something you see everyday, and it gets him all those cool points back.

 

From Cancer Marney:

CWM's in favor of guns and therefore not a complete pussy, unlike most Canucks.

 

• OK, time to see if my Week 3 pickkks were the charm.

 

Carolina at Tampa Bay. Incorrect.

Goddamn point spreads. Who’s the asshole who comes up with this shit? Oh, nevermind.

 

Chicago at Minnesota. Incorrect.

See my above post. I thought the Vikings would make this a close game, but not this close. Purple faggots.

 

Cincinnati at Pittsburgh. Correct.

Nothing really much to say about this game other than that Shittsburgh fans are about to go into panic mode because the Steelers lost two close games to two teams that posted better regular-season records than they did last year. And it’s not going to get any easier with a game at San Diego after a Week 4 bye. To be fair, the Steelers had every chance to win this game against the Bengals, but that muffed punt return really hurt them. After hearing this play on the radio, my first thought was, “I wonder if Cowher misses Antwaan Randle El right about now." Sure he botched a few punts during his time with the Steelers, but he also broke a few for big plays.

 

Green Bay at Detroit. Correct.

OK, this exercise in futility isn’t funny anymore. I don’t know who will feel worse: Detroit at season’s end or the one or two teams who will probably get upset by the Lions this year.

 

Jacksonville at Indianapolis. Correct.

Remember what I said about the point spreads in the Carolina/Tampa Bay contest? I take that all back. Jacksonville had possession of the ball for how many minutes in the first half – 25? Damn. And they got beat nevertheless. On a Peyton Manning bootleg.

 

N.Y. Jets at Buffalo. Incorrect.

How many yards rushing and passing did the Bills have over the Jets in this game? [119 yards to 73 and 306 yards to 182.] And they still lost. Figures that I picked them.

 

Tennessee at Miami. Correct.

Chalk up another point-spread win. And what happened to all that talk during training camp about Daunte Culpepper being unstoppable?

 

Washington at Houston. Correct.

Boy, what an impressive win. The Redskins should be proud of defeating such an AFC powerhouse. Is Cleveland on their schedule later in the year?

 

Baltimore at Cleveland. Incorrect.

I guess I could say that due to Cleveland playing the team-that-used-to-be-the-Browns I should have known this game would have been close. But that would have required me to look up past scores, and I’m too lazy for that.

 

N.Y. Giants at Seattle. Correct.

Poor Emily. He should get his daddy to yell at his receivers for dropping his passes. Actually, I got pissed toward the end when I learned that Seattle let their lead drop to less than 20 points. When you have the chance to lay a beat down on Emily, do so. Please. For the children.

 

Philadelphia at San Francisco. Correct.

The only thing that surprised me was the lack of McNabb knob-slobbing that took place afterward by Chris Berman and pals.

 

St. Louis at Arizona. Incorrect.

Two teams I know nothing about (as opposed to the other 30 franchises in the NFL :rolleyes: ) playing a game I had no idea who was going to win.

 

Denver at New England. Incorrect.

Didn’t see the game. Was a bit surprised at the outcome. Denver seems to have the Patriots’ number.

 

Atlanta at New Orleans. Incorrect.

Hey, props to the Saints for being 3-0. I wonder how much returning to the Superdome really played a factor in this upset win. I might want to pull for this team, but I know that if they get anywhere near the playoffs the sappy media coverage will make me wish for Katrina to make a return to the Deep South.

 

Overall Score: 7-7. Cumulative Score: 24-22. Hooray for mediocrity +1.

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