7/25: Scott Baio Should Go To Church ... On The Hill
8:30 p.m.
So I was flipping through channels the other day and came across this.
Scott Baio is 45 ... and Single
Over the past 25 years, Scott Baio has lived a life that all red-blooded American males' would sell their big screen TV, car and soul for, boasting a jaw-dropping roster of erotic ex's that would even make Warren Beatty blush. This extensive line-up of Hollywood honeys include: Heather Locklear, Pam Anderson, Denise Richards and Nicolette Sheridan.
But now, staring down the barrel of middle age, Scott has come to the end of his philandering rope. At 45, he finds himself at a mid-life crisis of mythic proportions, wondering why he's still single, alone and still unable to settle down and commit to a substantial, meaningful relationship.
With nowhere else to turn, Scott has decided to fully surrender the next eight weeks of his life to a highly-regarded life-coach. This person will guide him on a grueling, soul-searching mission; forcing him to confront a laundry list of old flames in order to hopefully get to the heart of his lonely heart condition.
Each episode, he will have to confront another chapter from his semi-sordid past, by actually reconnecting with some of his most substantial and combustible flames in order to get the bottom of his bad-boy behavior.
With the help of his long-time pals, Scott will be able to successfully sift through the wreckage of his past, and endure an assortment of life-altering activities, (including abstinence), in order to finally earn the chance at actually maintaining a meaningful, stable, healthy relationship.
Do I really need to say anything else?
2:30 p.m.
• Please let there be footage of this and have it end up on one of those "Wildest Chases/Stupid Criminals" shows.
New details tonight on the man who stopped to buy cigarettes while being pursued by the police.
The guy was allegedly on the run after a robbery, but he took the time to stop and the clerk who sold him the pack of cigarettes spoke to 3TV.
One guy was in a hurry today, dangerously weaving through traffic all over north central Phoenix. He really wanted to get away from police, but apparently he wanted a cigarette even more...
...Jessi Singh was behind the counter when this still unidentified man came running into his store. He was running because police say he used a note to rob a Bank of America at 44th Street and Thomas at about 10 a.m.
Police followed the truck to an address on the 2100 block of East Yale, but before they could move in the suspect took off at high speed. Marked police units backed off and let the helicopter take over the pursuit and that's when the suspect did something very curious. He ran into an AM/PM for his nicotine fix.
“Pack of cigarettes, pack of cigarettes,” the alleged suspect said. “Quick, pack of cigarettes. Here here's 20 bucks. Give me a pack of cigarettes. Please, matches need some matches. Keep the change. Come on. Thank you.”
He was in there for only about 20 seconds and took off with a squeal of the tires.
“Then I saw a helicopter and police cars and I thought maybe he robbed a bank,” the clerk said.
The suspect then returned to the area where police first spotted him and officers were able to knock out a tire with stop sticks.
Ha, I don't need to wait that long. Here's the video.
7 a.m.
• So Ward Churchill finally got the boot from his cushy academic job.
The University of Colorado Board of Regents voted to fire Ward Churchill on Tuesday evening, prompting the promise of a lawsuit from the embattled professor.
Now I get to hear about this shit for the next few years while he sues over his free speech rights. Hey, Colorado, you hired him. You gave him tenure. You reap what you sow.
• So whenever you pour some chili on your hot dogs, remember that it was made in the ghetto. Oh well, can't be any worse than the imported shit we get from China and Mexico.
Surrounded by four housing projects in one of Augusta's rougher neighborhoods, the Castleberry's Food Co. plant has become a beacon for jobs, food and a sense of hope in its impoverished community.The plant has long provided decent pay and an easy walk to work for the hundreds who live in nearby ramshackle buildings, and its managers have been ready contributors to the civic organizations hoping to strengthen the community.
The future of the neighborhood seems shakier than ever now that the plant has been temporarily shut down after it was linked to botulism in canned chili sauce, a discovery that triggered a massive recall of canned foods produced at the plant in the past two years.
Federal authorities asked consumers to throw away more than 90 different products—from chili sauce to corned beef hash to dog food—after investigators found evidence of botulism toxin in all but one of 17 bulging cans that were tested.
Because the symptoms of botulism are so severe—the rare but serious illness can cause paralysis—officials are warning consumers not to take chances.
So far, four cases of botulism have been reported—two from Indiana and two from Texas. All four people consumed Hot Dog Chili Sauce Original, a product made by Castleberry's.
This part made me laugh, but I always get a chuckle from the word "crack house."
"It has enabled a lot of jobs, enabled a lot of students to go to school, parents to purchase homes," said Barbara Pirtle, who was visiting the community center. "If it closes, all that will be lost."
The community center is a former crack house converted into a neighborhood outreach complex. Only a thin metal gate separates it from the plant.
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