SWF.net Exclusive, backstage at Ground Zero!

[Sly 0]

*Click.*

 

"Ooof."

 

"Did you have to just drop me from the harness? The nice thing to do would have been to bend down and let me climb out." Heff says with a spiteful voice, dusting off his clothes after landing face first in the backstage area of Ground Zero.

 

"There's no time for that now, Heff!" The Crimson Skull's voice booms out. "We're on a mission to find Cyclone Comet, so that we may destroy him!"

 

Heff continues to dust himself off as he raises himself to his feet. The Crimson Skull, in one fluid motion, flings free his parka that he'd been wearing (to fight off the cold as he crossed the icy plains of the former U.S.S.R.) to now reveal a broad, rippling chest and a perfectly fit uniform.

 

What? He walked mile upon mile with a 150 pound man strapped to his back. You try it.

 

"Do we have to destroy him?"

 

"Of course we do! First, we must find him, stalk him, and learn all there is to know about him! Then, we shall discover his one weakness whether it be someone he holds dearly to his heart, or maybe even a substance that will remove all of his power! Last, we will set up a complicated yet easily escapable trap that will likely only ensnare you, my assistant, and possibly kill you!"

 

"Kill me?" Heff says with a gulp.

 

"Indeed. But if that's the chance I must take to destroy this foe of mine, then that's the sacrifice I must make!"

 

"But"

 

"Now let us set forth in finding the one they call... Cyclone Comet..."

 

The Crimson Skull thrusts his back against the wall and stealthily moves his way down the hallway.

 

... in broad daylight...

 

 

 

... with the hall fully lit by ceiling lights...

 

 

 

 

 

... and Heff walking casually beside him.

 

"Damnit Heff! Hug the wall!"

 

"This is ridiculous. Everyone can see us!" Heff bites back.

 

"You're going to blow our cover! When you were hired, I was led to believe that you were trained in the art of espionage as well!" The Crimson Skull becomes angry, "Now when I say hug the wall, you hug it!"

 

"What's going on here?"

 

"You've blown our cover, Heff! Remain calm while I neutralize the threat!"

 

"Oh brother..." Heff sighs.

 

The Crimson Skull thrusts his hand forward and into the mouth of an unforeseen bystander. He strains back, gritting his teeth as to apply pressure. Beads of sweat roll down from his hair and over his mask, eventually dropping down off of his chin to the floor below.

 

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" A muffled voice calls out from the side.

 

The camera pans out to see that our super villain's hand has found his way into the mouth of none other than the Suicide King.

 

"I'm neutralizing the enemy?"

 

King reels his hand back and smacks Skull upside his... well... skull.

 

"No... NO!" King corrects his assailant, causing The Crimson Skull to let out a little whimper. "Now... who are you and what are you doing here?"

 

"I'm The Crimson Skull! The terror of Europe, perhaps you've heard of my work?"

 

"No."

 

"I..."

 

"No." King cuts him off again. "Now why should I care?"

 

"I've come to this place to find 'Cyclone Comet'. I must engage him in a battle that will likely effect the world as you all know it, for after I have robbed the last breath from his lungs I will be virtually unopposed in my plans for world conquest! Mwahahaha... mwahahahahaha!!!!"

 

"Comet isn't here. He's in Las Vegas."

 

"But the television said he'd be here!" Skull snaps.

 

"Scheduled to appear? He..."

 

"Damnit!" Screams The Crimson Skull before quickly grabbing a chair and launching it towards the wall. It barely misses Heff's head!

 

"Whew... looks like I should've packed a change of pants..." Heff mutters.

 

"He did this as a trick to draw me in! This Cyclone Comet is an even more worthy adversary than I had previously imagined... I will have to reformulate my plans! Victory shall be mine!"

 

"Look," King levels with The Crimson Skull, "if you want to get close to Comet then you're either going to have to start buying tickets to the shows or sign a contract to wrestle for us, and even at that I can't guarantee you that you will get a chance to even face Comet."

 

"I have no time for contracts! We must get back to our secret lair and begin plotting our plans for world domination!"

 

"We don't have a secret lair." Heff chimes in.

 

"To our... mysteriously disguised laboratory hidden deep within Kiev!"

 

"We don't have one of those either."

 

"To our fashionable apartment on the upper east side!"

 

"Nope."

 

"... to the van?"

 

"That's more like it." Heff says with a grin.

 

"To the van!" Skull booms. "Wait... are these crab cakes?"

 

"Yes." King drudgingly answers.

 

"And they're FREE?!" He turns to the table and begins to woof down the seafood treats, allowing Heff to step in, and with a smile says...

 

 

 

 

 

"Now... what about this contract?"

[Angel_Grace_Blue 0]

This gets the double huzzah and a fair amount of whoading, whoating, and blading from me.

 

Sly = teh yay!

[Toxxic 0]

Sly reeks of awesomeness and I can feel the swankness.

[Ace309 0]

"What exactly do you think you're doing?" A muffled voice calls out from the side.

 

The camera pans out to see that our super villain's hand has found his way into the mouth of none other than the Suicide King.

 

"I'm neutralizing the enemy?"

 

King reels his hand back and smacks Skull upside his... well... skull.

 

"No... NO!" King corrects his assailant, causing The Crimson Skull to let out a little whimper. "Now... who are you and what are you doing here?"

This alone is worth the price of admission.

[Crowe 0]

I may actually start reading shows again because of this character.

 

Ok, maybe not, but word, Austin. Word.