PILLS! PILLS! PILLS!

I just want to go on record by saying that this is, perhaps, the first time that I have ever been excited about a Batista program. I'm kinda hoping that they stretch it out a bit, like what they did with Undertaker/Goldust back in 1996, having them fight each other at every other PPV. I see a ton of potential in this feud.

Non-title. Maria is going over.

Word. Though I would love for a CHIKARA-type group like The Colony to randomly turn up in WWE.

Like, he was asked by a group of reporters or something? And he defended his employer?

I'm loving all of the, uh... love for Touch of Evil.

1. What is, in your opinion, the best match that TNA has produced thus far? Christopher Daniels vs. AJ Styles vs. Samoa Joe from TNA Unbreakable, 09/11/05. 2. What makes it better than everything else you've seen from TNA? The match is all business, with the emphasis on athletics. It's everything that TNA should be. 3. How does it stack up against other great matches you've seen from different companies? No prolonged rest holds or slow spots. They were out to recruit new fans with this one. 4. Does any grouping of workers (not including those in said match) under TNA contract now make you think that another match of this caliber could be produced anytime soon? For all I know every TNA PPV has a match that blows this one away, but the creative team killed all of the faith that I had in the product a long time ago. 5. How would you rate this match on the IWC star scale? The PCN 1-10 factor? I would give it **** 1/4.

Test... Test... Test... This is a sobriety test...

Wu-Tang Clan, by a thousand miles, especially their work from 93-96.

Mazto is big and scary. I would have to concede my helpings of La Parka.

1. What have we done that you like? The gulag. More shall be cast, hopefully. 2. What have we done that you wish we hadn't? Corporate sponsors, but I understand. 3. Is there anything you'd like us to do? Salad bar. 4. Would you invite people here to expand the community? Commission? 5. Are you optimistic that we're not going to be fucking terrible at this? Fucking terrible at being optimistic at all. About everything. Not necessarily here. 6. Chicken tenders or chicken fingers? Chik'n fingers, thx.

I was thinking the exact same thing, but I was afraid to say anything. I'm not afraid anymore. It looks like shit.

Tambien.

I have a Carlito action figure.

I maintain that the article "shitted" really made that post.

What the hell happened to Tenay, anyway? I remember looking forward to his contributions whenever WCW wanted to educate its fans on their import wrestlers. It's like the same thing that happened to Tony Schiavone after the Monday Night Wars- the company prescribed him "retarded pills" and made sure to stand their and watch him swallow them just before they sent him out on commentary. And Don West? I guess that they just want somebody who will yell alot about whatever is on the monitor at the time. Sure makes we want to buy their next pay-per-view. I'll tell you- one of the primary and most consistent complaints that wrestling fans have about their product is the obnoxious commentary. And what does TNA, who is trying to market themselves to fans who are tired of the same ol' same ol' that the WWE is doling out without any regard to their desires do? They ignore them. Enjoy those 1.2's. You've earned them.

I just remembered Stephen Malkmus. I just saw the fuckin' guy a week and a half ago. I suck.

Thinking about the state of wrestling during the first half of 1995 makes me want to eat a Zoloft sandwich, with a side of Prozac-seasoned fries. Those were just awful, horrible, depressing times. Maybe I'm overreacting. But shit, that Royal Rumble match was shitty and unexciting. I popped for nothing in that match. I can't say that about any other Royal Rumble, and I've seen them all.

Austin has nothing left to prove or accomplish. They should absolutely induct him into the Hall of Fame next year, though. In fact, there are a ton of guys who are either from Texas or made their name there that they can and should induct next year, such as Austin, Hansen, Funk, the Von Erichs, etc.

They bring the worst pasta on the face of the planet to your house, and you have to pay for it.

If we're talking about individuals, I would say these ten people (in no particular order): Tim Kinsella (Joan of Arc, Make Believe, Cap N' Jazz, etc.) Elliott Smith Robert Smith (The Cure) Jeff Buckley Ian McKaye (Minor Threat, Fugazi) KRS-One Matt Talbott (HUM, Centaur) Allen Epley (Shiner, The Life and Times) George Harrison Lou Reed

Federation Era: WrestleMania IV. Sorry folks, but this one is just kinda long and boring. WrestleMania is supposed to have at least one great match, right? This one didn't. Attitude Era: WrestleMania XV by default. I like some things about this event, but man, this just goes to show you that wrestling was so hot at the time that the company didn't always have to try so hard. Modern Era: I'm going with WrestleMania 21, in spite of the strong undercard. The last two matches left a horrible, horrible taste in my mouth. Oh yeah, it had Big Show vs. Akebono, too.

Arbeit macht frei.

I remember that this was the first period, since I became a fan in 1991, where I was terribly indifferent to the products that both WCW and WWF were churning out at the time. However, by the time that the late summer had come around, things were absolutely on the upswing. PROS - The continued rise of ECW - Nitro and the beginning of the Monday Night Wars - WCW signing guys like Guerrero, Malenko, Benoit, Sabu, etc. CONS - WCW signing washed-up ex-WWF talent - The depush of Bam Bam Bigelow following WrestleMania XI - King Mabel - Some of the worst PPV showings ever MATCHES TO WATCH - Bret Hart vs. Jean-Pierre Lafitte from In Your House, September 1995 - Brian Pillman vs. Johnny B. Badd from Fall Brawl 95 - Shawn Michaels vs. Razor Ramon, Ladder Match from Summer Slam 95 - Koji Kanemoto vs. Alex Wright from Starrcade 1995 - Benoit/Malenko vs. Guerrero/JL from Nitro, October 1995 - Shawn Michaels vs. Diesel, WWF Championship, WrestleMania XI - Bret Hart vs. Davey Boy Smith, WWF Championship, In Your House, December 1995 - Bret Hart vs. Hakushi, In Your House, May 1995 - Jeff Jarrett vs. Razor Ramon, Intercontinental Title, from WrestleMania XI - Michaels/Ahmed/Sid/Bulldog vs. Owen/Yokozuna/Razor/Douglas from Survivor Series 95

Terry Funk had his first of many retirement matches in August 1983! Inoki announced his retirement in 1998. The Funk-Hart match from September 97 was definitely billed as Terry's "US Retirement," before he went on a farewell tour in Japan. The February 99 angle in ECW where Shane Douglas was about to announce his retirement was something else. Jumbo Tsuruta announced his retirement in February 99 and a ceremony was held two weeks later. Sadly, he passed away the next year. Survivor Series 2003 when Steve Austin was forced to relinquish his GM status and "retire" from the brand.

Oh... I mean, this is a fucking outrage.