Stephen Joseph

oh yeah, picture. umm, yeah, ill get on that soon

For my purposes, (fantasy baseball, football) insider is very helpful And yeah, I've got insider, so if anyone ever needs anything, just pm me

Jan. 3 The Red Sox are now two months removed from Theo Epstein's King Kong escape from Fenway Park, six weeks from the reporting of pitchers and catchers. They have gained a starting pitcher (Josh Beckett), third baseman (Mike Lowell) and second baseman (Mark Loretta), deepened their bullpen, enhanced their future (Andy Marte), lost Johnny Damon to the Yankees, and now have ideas for shortstop and center field. Even Boston Globe columnist Bob Ryan, the most reasoned voice in the city, begged Red Sox owner John Henry to replace Larry Lucchino as the face of management and was dismissive of co-general managers Jed Hoyer and Ben Cherington. Buster Olney, without malice, stated that Lucchino had mishandled the three most significant human negotiations of his tenure as Red Sox CEO -- Alex Rodriguez, Epstein and Damon. It's mostly been a tumultuous offseason for Red Sox team president Larry Lucchino. Publicly, and even more privately, Lucchino has agonized over and accepted heat for the Epstein blowup. And once the Sox's primary GM targets -- Cleveland's Chris Antonetti, Toronto's Tony LaCava and Atlanta's Dayton Moore -- declined the job for personal and professional reasons, and Lucchino's recommendation -- Jim Beattie -- did not pass ownership's approval, he has tried to explore ways to bring Epstein back into the business in some manner. In the meantime, Lucchino has found that last winter's festival of good feeling has turned bitter. Talk-show callers have gone from "we" to "they" in referring to the Red Sox. Henry, club chairman Tom Werner and Lucchino did believe the glow of the 2004 world championship would have a longer life. "But," says Lucchino, "I guess that comes with the passion, with the way people care. We have to accept that passion works both ways." Did Lucchino submarine the A-Rod negotiations with his press statement that attacked the Players Association, effectively separated Rodriguez from the union and made any further compromise impossible? Probably. The Epstein negotiations were far more complex. Yankees GM Brian Cashman's negotiations with the Yankees involved many of the same issues, and owner George Steinbrenner and general partner Steve Swindal essentially freed Cashman from the barbed wire of the Tampa contingent and, to a degree, team president Randy Levine. The financial issues in the Epstein negotiations did not get resolved until nearly 48 hours before his old contract was to expire, which did not give the GM and CEO time to work out other issues -- most of which involved Lucchino loyalists, who the baseball-operations folks believe have undermined the situation, sourced countless leaks and (with their attempts to make Lucchino look good) roved over Epstein and the baseball staff. "It isn't fair what's happened to Larry in this process," says one club executive. "He's the victim of people who claim to be his friends but have done him in." There are several levels to this offseason for the Red Sox. Before Epstein left on Halloween, assistant GM Josh Byrnes, a ballast of the baseball operation, left to become the Diamondbacks' GM. As soon as Epstein left, Peter Woodfork, the Red Sox's director of baseball operations, joined Byrnes. Without Epstein, and given the messy GM search and media rumors and the waterfall of leaks, Craig Shipley -- the Sox's best talent evaluator and an invaluable member of the operation -- seriously considered going to Arizona. And when Grady Little got the Dodgers' managerial job, he took advance scout and trusted evaluator Dave Jauss to L.A. as his bench coach. What would be different if Lucchino had gotten the financial deal done with Epstein in midseason and he, Theo, Henry and Werner had addressed the ancillary issues? "In terms of personnel, it's hard to envision what would be different," says a club executive. "We have been held up by the whole Manny [Ramirez] situation, there's no doubt about that. We knew we'd take a hit with Damon leaving, but we also were not going to panic and do a deal that we felt was inappropriate." Agent Scott Boras left the Damon press conference at Yankee Stadium on Dec. 23 and flew to Boston with Kevin Millwood, anticipating that the Red Sox would be panicked into giving the pitcher a five-year deal. But Boras learned that while Hoyer and Cherington wanted Millwood, and while Fenway is a far better place for his power/fly-ball style, the Sox would not jump at the kind of numbers that the Rangers laid out for Millwood. Lucchino has heard constant refrains of "if Theo were still here..." Lucchino's fault here may have been that he so wanted Damon that he might have waited too long to start to drive toward the club's end-game position. Epstein's negotiating style was to get to the club number quickly. If Theo had been the GM, he likely would have gone to the club's ceiling of $45 million for four years the weekend of the winter meetings, and if Boras did not back off his (then) seven-year demand, would have called off the negotiations and done the Jeremy Reed deal with Seattle in Dallas when the Mariners thought they could get Juan Pierre from Florida. In Lucchino's defense, the Red Sox did get confused in the Damon negotiations. Five days before he signed with the Yankees, Damon told Dan Roche of Boston's Channel 4 that he was going to Los Angeles and expected to do a deal with the Dodgers. Damon got there, and the Dodgers canceled their meeting with him. The top leadoff hitters in 2005 (numbers in the leadoff position): Player Team OBP OPS Roberts Bal. .384 .893 Jeter NYY .391 .846 Sizemore Cle. .353 .846 Damon Bos. .367 .808 Clark Mil. .372 .798 Suzuki Sea. .351 .787 Furcal Atl. .348 .778 Eckstein St.L. .364 .761 Damon claimed to be put off by a letter Lucchino sent him "threatening" to take the team's $40 million, four-year deal off the table on Christmas Eve. In reality, Lucchino requested a meeting with Damon to try to work things out but felt that there had to be an expiration date on the long-standing offer. At no time did Boras indicate he would take four years from Boston, and while Cashman made a stealth move -- since in the end Damon wanted only the high bid -- if the Sox had gone to even four years and $46 million, it wouldn't have been enough. "[The Red Sox] did the right thing," one AL GM says. "To sign Johnny after his four best years was a much greater gamble than not signing him." Defense the name of the game Part of the strain between Epstein and those around Lucchino who worry about the immediate-gratification demands of the media is that Theo wanted to take the 2006 season and use it to build another five-year run; he also wanted to place a far greater emphasis on defense, as the 2005 Red Sox were at the bottom of the Baseball Prospectus defensive efficiency chart. The Boston club that was so good in 2003-05 was now an old team. Anyone who looked at the 2004 team and believed it should have been held together for 2007-08 was encouraging a blueprint for a team that -- barring a jump to a $200 million payroll -- would not have been able to compete with the 2007-08 Devil Rays that will feature Delmon Young, Carl Crawford, Rocco Baldelli, B.J. Upton, et al. Last winter, Lucchino was the advocate for keeping Pedro Martinez ("I have a theory that you never give up on superstars," Lucchino said), and had he been able to strike with a three-year deal, it would have been in the long- and short-term best interest of the franchise to do so. "Theo has been the principal advocate of the longer view of the Red Sox," says Lucchino, "and I have to say I think he has been correct." Epstein's view is that without a $200 million payroll, it is practically impossible in the American League East to win 95-100 games every year. The goal is to be in position to make that run seven or eight out of 10 years, which means that about once every five years they have to step back and, in Lucchino's words, "retool. Not rebuild, retool. "We probably have not done as good a job of explaining our long view as we should have," Lucchino added. "We're not paring down payroll [Henry is adamant that they have $135 million to spend]. But we do have to try to start working young players into Fenway Park." Trading Ramirez to Baltimore -- which would also include Matt Clement -- for Miguel Tejada could be determined later this week. It has long been fueled on the Tejada end by his close friend, David Ortiz. It does not in any way include a four-way creation of a Mets fan's Internet fantasy. "If I were to wager a guess today," says an Oriole executive, "it would be that Manny opens the season with the Red Sox and Tejada is with the Orioles. As far as I'm concerned, Tejada is one of the five best players in the game. His contract [$12 million annual average value] was signed in a down market, as opposed to Manny's [$20 million annual average value], which was signed in an inflationary market. If Tejada went on the market this winter, he'd probably get between $14 million and $16 million a year." Some Orioles voices are afraid of trading within the division, although now that they play 19 times a season, Ramirez's returning to Fenway and Tejada to Camden Yards would only magnify a rivalry that has so died that, in a September series in Baltimore, Red Sox fans occupied nearly 70 percent of Camden. Neither Ramirez nor Tejada has any hammer in demanding trades, and Henry has insisted the Red Sox will not take 50 cents on the dollar. The same holds true with David Wells' trade demand. They cannot take a Woody Williams, who has an 8.52 ERA at Fenway Park written all over him, as opposed to Wells and his 16-1 record in that park since 1998. Once it's resolved where Jeff Weaver will wind up, the Red Sox might be able to move Wells to the Dodgers. As for center field, the focus is still on Reed, although Boston has to get another center fielder to add to the deal, be it Joey Gathright or Corey Patterson. Lucchino backs the reluctance of Cherington and Hoyer to deal Andy Marte, whom Boras told Lucchino is earmarked by Boras' corporation as "one of five minor-leaguers who can be $100 million players." They do not want to trade Jon Papelbon or Jon Lester; Papelbon is expected to be in the rotation at the beginning of the season, Lester perhaps as early as September. They will not trade relievers Craig Hansen or Edgar Martinez or infielder Dustin Pedroia, especially after trading three big power arms (right-handers Anibal Sanchez, Jesus Delgado and Harvey Garcia) to Florida. After having six of the first 57 picks in the 2005 draft, they will have seven of the first 100 this coming June, and with the possibility that after this draft there will be no compensation picks for free agents and there will be bonus slotting, good teams have to be resigned to drafting in the Nos. 22-30 range every year with no hope of a player like Hansen (for financial reasons) sliding to the end of the first round. At the moment, the Red Sox look like a team that could finish third behind the Yankees and Blue Jays in the American League East. The White Sox, Indians, Athletics and Angels appear to have better chances of making the playoffs -- and the Twins, with their pitching potential, could contend if they can find a way to score runs. But there is a long way until the July 31 trading deadline. Anyway, it's all going to come down to pitching in the end. Red Sox pitching, 2004 vs. 2005: 2004 Starters 2005 4.31 ERA 4.56 73-47 W-L 68-45 7.11 SO/9 IP 5.95 2004 Relievers 2005 3.87 (3rd) ERA 5.15 (14th) .715 (4th) OPS .805 (14th) 73% (5th) Save Pct. 67% (13th) If Curt Schilling comes back and Beckett builds off what he did in 2005 and makes 30 starts, with Papelbon the Red Sox potentially have three power right-handers who are made for Fenway because of their high strikeout numbers and enough gas to make hitters use the big part of the ballpark. Look at the bullpen numbers (see the chart to the right). If Keith Foulke comes back -- with Mike Timlin, Guillermo Mota, Rudy Seanez and eventually Manny Delcarmen, Hansen and Martinez -- the bullpen has the makings of being able to win 7-5 games, not turn them into 13-7 losses. The Sox will miss Damon, but they should still be a top-six offense if Lowell comes back strong and if they come close to duplicating Damon's .367 on-base percentage in the leadoff position in front of Loretta; they are convinced that Kevin Youkilis will produce with a .400-something on-base percentage and 15-20 homers, and hence have tried to sign someone like J.T. Snow as a complement, not an alternative. They hope their defense is better. Are they better off now than the afternoon Epstein left in the gorilla suit? In terms of their pitching and positional team, no. How much would be different had Epstein been there? Very little. Not only has he served as an advisor to Hoyer and Cherington, but they have exhausted every avenue, to their credit refusing to try to make splash deals for their benefit at the cost of the long-term view of the team. If Epstein does return this month, how much was lost during the interim period? "Nowhere near as much as the perception," Lucchino says. And, after all the self-congratulations that came in moonshadow of the 2004 world championship, in the long view the reevaluation and circumspection that has taken place these last two months may have been the best thing that could have happened to this ownership.

Passing Kyoto would do zilch. *IF* you consider global warming to be a) real and b) a very dangerous threat, then c) their must be a united global response. Otherwise, polluting companies eventually relocate to more friendly environs, and nothing has changed other than their incorporated nationality.

Umm, I am hurting

GAH NEURALIZED!

I think i wrote the best match I've written for this show

Guys and gals, I would like feedback on the last two months, since I had the opportunity to carry the ball. 1) What did I do best? 2) What did I do worst? 3) Where did I improve? 4) Where should I try to improve? 5) Any other thoughts?

At least I remember what leagues I'm in...

And today we find out that Eski and I are the same age

I'm for that

Dat's cool dawg thanks for the help

First Posting : NYE Match Second Posting AC Match VOICEOVER: There are times when a man is tested, and his true character revealed VIDEO PLAYS: Knight collapses to his knees as the fans scream displeasure. Popick brings Knight to the corner and applies a full nelson – then jumps off and round and delivers FINALITY! Cover! Hebner recovers quickly and gets in position for the count. ONE! TWO! CABOOSE No! No! THREE! VOICEOVER Stephen Joseph, a World Champion who swore to take all on comers. His greatest challenge lay not before him, but in his past. The man he pinned to win this coveted title. VIDEO Imposing look up at the big man, Peter Knight VOICEOVER Tonight, the OAOAST will find out just what kind of men Stephen Joseph and Peter Knight really are... FADE TO BLACK JOSH MATTHEWS Josh Matthews here standing by with Peter Knight. Peter, any thoughts on your upcoming title match? Peter Knight, clad in his wrestling gear, adjusts an armband while looking down, sideways, reflectively. He face contorts into a grimace, and then a smile. He chuckles and looks at Josh through the corner of his eye. PETER KNIGHT Josh, after tonight, I'm going to be the World Heavyweight Champion. The "Face" on this promotion is going to change, for the better, for 2006. And with that, Peter Knight walks away from Josh Matthews. JOSH MATTHEWS Over to Jesse Ventura, with Stephen Joseph ::WOOOSSHHH:: Stephen Joseph is standing next to Jesse Ventura, with THA PUERTO RICAN standing behind him. They're obviously on the other side of the arena from Matthews JESSE VENTURA Stephen, same question STEPHEN JOSEPH 2005 is the MY year. I am not.... NOT. LOSING. Peter Knight, you are going to have to MURDER me to get this belt off of my waist. Jesse, I am a champion, a proud champion, a fighting champion, and by any means necessary, I will remain...champion. Peter Knight, you don't know what you have to sacrifice to be World Champion. You've forgotten the face of your father, of your fans, of your tag team partner. ::Stephen pauses, and adds one last thing:: And Axel, I swear, by my life and my love of it, if you so dare as to interfere in this match, and try to screw me again, I can, and I will, make your tenure as Commissioner a living hell. To me, you would be worse than ... Zack Malibu. Don't fuck with me Axel. I didn't become the OAOAST's most hated man for not knowing how to play backstage. Tha Puerto Rican grabs the microphone THA PUERTO RICAN Fuck with Popick? You fuck with me too! And all the LC! Fuck Us? Fuck YOU! FADE TO BLACK <INSERT GRAPHIC HERE> COLE Fans, we are minutes away from what may be the most anticipated rematch of 2005. Stephen Joseph, OAOAST Champion COACH A Champion of Champions! COLE will face Peter Knight in a rematch of their ClimaXxX bought. That match ended in a disqualification when now Commissoner Axel attacked Stephen Joseph CABOOSE I don't like losing Calvin as a General Manager, I thought he did a stand up job, but I love Axel's approach to dealing with Stephen Joseph. COLE Let's bring it down to the ring PYRO! PYRO! PYRO!!!! MICHAEL BUFFER Ladies and Gentleman, your MAIN EVENT! This contest is fought with a 30 minute time limit, and is for the O-A-O-A-S-T World HeavyWeight Championship. Introducing first, the CHALLENGER, weighing in at TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE POUNDS, from FALL RIVER, Masssachusetts, he is renowned as one of the greatest wrestlers to have never held a World Title, and the master of the Knightmare....PEEETTERRR KNIGHT! ::The crowd stands up and cheers for Peter Knight, who runs out of the entrance ramp and is FIRED UP! He's out there before his music hit, screaming and slapping his chest with fire and passion. A fan holds out a sign "Stephen Joseph's Worst KnightMare!":: CUE: OHH HELL YEAH! CUE: The flashing blue lights of doom! Peter Knight steps out gingerly from behind the curtain, his face a seething ocean of rage and anger, and he's not reacing to anything the crowd is saying, but to what he's thinking inside. This is his last chance. He ignores requests for high fives, cheers, jeers, but he does pose for the crowd at the bottom of the ramp. He walks determined, straight into the ring. He slides in and begins to run the ropes, all business. Staring at the ref, Peter stops and has a few words, but nothing to serious, as the referee checks his knee and arm pads. COLE Knight is certainly a different demeanor than last time. CABOOSE He's hungry Cole, very hungry BUFFER Annddd, introoducing the CHAMPION, he weighs in at TWO HUNDRED AND TWENTY SEVEN POUNDS, from Atlanta, Gerogia... He is the CURRENT REIGNING and DEFENDING OAOAST CHAMMPPPIOOON OFFF THE WWWORRRRLLDDDDDDDD, He is the "Most Hated Man in the OAOAST today", he issss STTTEEEPHHHEEEN JOOOSEEEEEPHH!!!!! Cue: It Ain't Over For Me Cole Fans, let me tell you. By order of the OAOAST Corporate Office, BOTH locker rooms have had security placed at their entrances to ensure no outside interference in this match! Caboose That's great news! Coach But what if they just wanted to watch? Take Notes? Cole As if. Coach Whatever, Loser. Caboose(yelling) Shut the fuck up and let me listen to the crowding booing the man I hate more than Regis Philbin! The crowd rains down its boos and jeers upon the self proclaimed, yet no one will argue with, Most Hated Man in the OAOAST. Tha Puerto Rican heads out first, but waits for Stephen Joseph, who hands Puerto the OAOAST belt. Tha Puerto Rican THE CHAMP IS HERE! THE CHAMP IS HERE! THE CHAMP IS HEEEEREE! Stephen Joseph walks down the ramp with Puerto in tow, holding the World Championship aloft like Stephen is a boxer, or something. Anyways, I guess its pretty obvious that Stephen's found a way to get some backup support! Stephen Joseph rolls into the ring and compeltely ignores Peter Knight. He hands Michael Buffer a card. BUFFER And Introducing Stephen Joseph's manager for the evening, THA PUERTO RICAN~! COACH That's so smart. Axel didn't ban manager's from ringside! Stephen Joseph hangs out in his corner, leaning against the ropes as Puerto stays on the ring apron, talking strategy with his career consultant. The two meet fists, and Puerto jumps off the ring apron, and watches from the outside. DING! DING! DING! COLE And we're underway in this title fight. CABOOSE Look at POPICK! prance up there. I'd kick his ass... COACH Didn't he kick your ass a few weeks ago! Go Popick! COLE I thought he didn't like being called that. Stephen Joseph walks right up to meet Peter Knight in the middle of the ring. Its now very obvious Stephen is giving up height and weight to the big man, but then again, Stephen has THA PUERTO RICAN in his corner. Peter kinda sorta ended things with his friend Parka a while back, so well, no body wants to help him out. Knight draws towards Stephen in a proud walk of sorts, anything looks proud when you're as big as Knight. Stephen extends his hand, saying "May the best man win". Peter Knight sizes the hand up for a moment, and then looks at Stephen. The crowd's booing the gesture, and Knight returns the crowd's sentiments with a spit in the general direction of Popick's outstreched arm. "Yeah, guess there's only one man here" Stephen says as he paces in place. "Okay then, lets' go Chumba Wumba." Stephen puts up his dukes and backs away a step, motioning for Knight to close in, start fighting. Knight stares blankly. One can imagine he can't hear the crowd screaming "FIGHT FIGHT FIGHT!" but he does. He's just thinking. Knight steps forward, and Stephen darts a right punch that hits flush with Knight's cheek. Knight doesn't flinch, and catches Stephen's arm on the rebound. " OH SHIT!" Stephen audibly screams as Knight pulls him in. He tries to duck, but Knight's arm is just too mammothly HYOGE, and Peter sends the Upstart to the mat with a thundering clothesline. The crowd roars in approval. Knight bends to pick Stephen up, but Stephen responds with a leg scissors, falling the giant to the canvas. The crowd boos, but Stephen floats over, all business, and sinches in a side headlock on Peter's left shoulder, putting his weight against the crevice of the giant's armpit, keeping the leverage. Peter struggles in pain. Stephen Joseph has studied all of his life on this one side of the human body in an effort to make his finisher more lethal, and more deadly. This locks hurts people, and Knight is struggling. With a flash of insight, Knight realizes he can pull Stephen's hair with his free right hand, and he does, shifting the weight in such a way that reduces the leverage, and Knight gets up to one knee! COLE Knight resorting to tactics normally reserved for Stephen Joseph CABOOSE It's a title match, you gotta expect everything SJ yells at the ref "DO SOMETHING AWWWWWOOWWW!!!" and the ref warns Knight to release the hair. Peter does, and SJ stands back up and drops down with the elbow. It misses as the crowd ooohhs, Knight rolled out of the way. Knight stands up while SJ clutches his elbow mutter "FUCK FUCK FUCK", and Knight goes for an elbow. Stephen's not there though, and even so, he was playing possum, as Knight misses with his left elbow. The arm hits the mat, and Stephen is back on it with a kick to his left shoulderblade, and then the elbow drop connects. The crowd chants "KNIGHT KNIGHT KNIGHT!" as Stephen stands up, applauding himself and pointing at the fallen big man. "You chant for this? He ain't shit!" Stephen runs to the ropes, bouncing off of them with an eye for a legdrop. Knight has gotten to one knee, and lunges at the last second, catching Stephen in a tackle of sorts, and Knight lands on top. COACH OUCH! "GwwawAAHHHHH" says Stephen as the big man's weight takes away his air. Knight in the mount position, and he pulls Stephen's head up, glancing at the crowd who screams in delight. He delivers a punch, and another one. Follow along. 1! 2! 3! 4! Knight looks around, and headbutts Stephen down! 5! COLE Knight with a series of punches to Stephen Joseph CABOOSE I'm loving it COACH I'm not worried Knight stands up and applauds himself, looking at Tha Puerto Rican. "Pissant crony" Knight says, and that draws Puerto to jump up to the ring apron. Puerto jaws with Knight, and Knight jaws back, as the referee tells PR to get down! Puerto does so, but only after he sees Stephen Joseph hit the greatest equalizer known to man, the NUTCRACKER, on Peter Knight, who goes crosseyed. The ref didn't see it, but Stephen takes advantage, positioning himself behind a tear-eyed Knight, Stephen's head under Knight's left shoulderblade, and he lifts the big man up with a big stalling 1, 2, 3 second side suplex! Stephen slides over and on top of Knight for the first cover of the night! The referee turns around and quickly falls to the mat. And a 1, and a 2 KICKOUT! or rather a pushout with authority, as Knight lofts Stephen Joseph up a foot or so and to the side. Stephen lands like a frog, or a cat, and spins around on his left leg with a thrust kick that's caught by Knight's right hand. Knight stand up holding SJ's leg prone, SJ hopping like a retarded kid in a 2 partner sack race (with no partner). Stephen spins down with an Enziguri!, but Knight grabs his left foot. Quickly changing position, Knight sends Stephen up and over with a WheelBarrow Suplex. Knight covers as the crowd roars...1! and a 2! and Stephen Joseph puts his foot on the ropes to break up the pin attempt. Smart thinking by the champion, because kickout out takes alot more energy than the ole foot on the ropes bit. Knight, a bit perturbed, kicks Popick whil he's down in the right shoulder, and then picks him up by his hair! "OWWW OWW GAWD DAMMIT OWWW!" screams Stephen Joseph " FUDGE NUT RIPPLE!" he screams when Knight slaps a knife edge chop with his big left hand across SJ's steps. Knight positions himself again, and pulls Stephen Joseph forward and across the ring to the other turnbuckle on the other side with a big Irish Whip. Stephen hits with his back, and dodges a big boot from Knight as a follow up. Peter crotches himself on the turnbuckle ropes! Stephen Joseph slaps the chest of Knight once, then gets an idea. "Hey, turnbuckles work better exposed, dontcha think?" and the Champion goes to work immediately on untying the turnbuckle pad, which comes off quickly...almost too quickly...nahhh. SJ throws the turnbuckle into the crowd, who fight for the souvenir. Knight, meanwhile, has untangled himself from the ropes and is standing on the ring apron. Stephen darts in two quick punches to the abdomen, and the enters into a suplex position with Knight. He's giving up like 70 pounds and 4 inches, this is impossible! Stephen tries to suplex Knight back into the ring, but only gets him up 3 or so inches. Knight grunts and blocks the suplex, and returns the favor, but pulling SJ over the ropes and down to the ring floor, SJ Thudding hard into the mat outside as Knight lands more gently on his shoulder! The crowd roars in approval as Stephen thrashes about "GREAT GOOGGLY MOOGLY THAT SMARTS!" He twerks and twitches on the outside, and Knight stands up shaking his right leg that he kinda sorta but not really too hard landed on. He points to the ring steps, and when the opportunity presents itself, throws SJ into them. THUD! CLANG! "MotherFucker!" You get the point, and SJ did too, with a red welt on his forehead. The ref warns Knight to bring it back into the ring, so Knight does get in the ring, and hangs back in a turnbuckle corner, just smiling and waiting...This match is his. SJ very shakidly gets himself back into the ring, and Knight applauds in mockage. About this time, a visitor steps out onto the stage and places a chair solidly down at the top of the ramp. The crowd gasps as its the NU OAOAST General Manager Axel, come to check on his most favorite person's title defense. Or, as Cole would say, prevent outside interference. Knight goes to pick up SJ while Tha Puerto Rican goes to stand at the bottom of the ramp, staring at Axel. Knight slams Popicks head into the turnbuckle not once, not twice, not thrice, but fourthethit. Stephen's eyes glass over and he stumbles back. Knight whips Stephen Joseph 180 and places his head between Knight's mammoth's legs. Whirly SitOut PowerBOMB from Knight to Stephen Joseph, planting him firmly in the middle of the ring with a sickening thud. Tha Puerto Rico turns and looks, and Axel applauds. Knight quickly covers Stephen Joseph, grasping at his right leg and begging the ref to count quickly. 1! The crowd buzzes 2! SJ doesn't stir! 2.9 and SJ gets a shoulder up! As he does, he moves his head to the side, and coughs out some blood. Internal bleeding, or he bit his tongue, either way, it is INTERNAL, from that powerbomb. Knight slaps the mat in disgust, but smiles. He lifts a pretty much deadweight SJ back onto his feet, and then quickly rams Stephen Joseph into the turnbuckle closest to them. Knight pulls SJ on top of the turnbuckle, and scales it himself, placing SJ's head again beneath his legs. Stephen tries now to fight it, but one whack on his back quiets him. The crowd shushes as it sense imminent doom for the current champion. Knight picks him up....and powerbombs Stephen Joseph to the outside, onto the ring floor! That's gotta be a 10 foot drop, and SJ lands with no protection, his left arm making a sickening thud! and a snap, crackle, and pop! SJ screams in pain as Tha Puerto Rican runs over. The ref slides under the ring ropes and goes to check on Stephen Joseph. Stephen's screaming "MY ARM MY ARM! OH LILY!" and it appears that his arm is broken, below the elbow, I guess that's the femur bone. Stephen screams at Puerto to pick him up, and Puerto does, but not before the referee goes over to talk an unknown suited OAOAST official. The ref turns around and brings his arm around... And then.... Stephen catches the arm with his right hand. "I AM NOT QUITTING!, he says while Puerto Rico makes a shocked expression. The ref shrugs his shoulders as if to say "Okay, your life, not mine" but then dodges out of the way as Peter Knight steamrolls both SJ and Puerto down to the mat. His left arm useless, Knight picks up Stephen Joseph and rolls him into the ring. He covers, and this could be over quickly. Axel stands up. 1! 2! 3! NO! Stephen gets his right shoulder just milliseconds before the ref's hands hit the ground. A reply shows above that it was literally 1 inch, 1 inch from being over. The crowd moans, and Peter Knight can't believe it. Without any disregard to Stephen Joseph's health, he picks him up onto his shoulderblades, and comes down hard ... KNIGHTMARE! Peter Knight has hit the nightmare. Axel stands up and applauds! The crowd roars. Puerto can't believe it! Knight slides down with the cover, over the right shoulder! 1! 2! Here comes the arm! Stephen's got nowhere to go! 3! NO! Stephen kicks the arm of the OAOAST referee, and hits the referee in the head as well! He goes limp! What a counter! Peter Knight just cannot believe it. The crowd can't. Axel can't either. He storms down to the ring, and Tha Puerto Rican cuts him off, buying Stephen Joseph some time so what, his arm can heal? Puerto and Axel jaw on the outside, and Peter Knight stands over the referee on the inside. Joseph stirs, the crowd goes nuts, and Peter turns around, and Stephen Joseph hits THE GREAT EQUALIZER AGAIN! Knight crumples to one knee, and Joseph slides out of the ring clutching his arm. He goes over to the announce table, and with his good arm, kicks open the first aid kit. Searching with his feet, Joseph finds the first thing he's looking for, a shot of painkiller! He jabs it into his left shoulder, wincing, but the job gets done. He next gets some gauze and pulls his left arm across his chest, making a modified shoulder sling as Peter Knight recovers. SJ must have been a boy scout to know first aid like that. Joseph finishes up and comes back into the ring, with Knight standing up and turning around on the far side. "You gotta KILL ME KNIGHT!" Joseph screams as he runs towards the big man, placing a nice thrust kick to Peter's chest, sending Peter into the turnbuckle. Joseph wails away with his good right hand, pounding Knight down to the ground. And Axel has had enough. He shoves Tha Puerto Rican away, and PR shoves him right back. Axel thinks about it, and backs away, which allows Puerto to look at the action in the ring... Stephen Joseph as lifted Peter Knight back up with his one good arm to a standing position in the corner. Dragging him by his hair, SJ walks out with Knight about two steps, and then lifts him onto his back, in a massive feat of strength. Stephen then walks back and places Peter Knight on the turnbuckle, sitting, facing the ring. Joseph scales the turnbuckle. Hurricanrana? No. Stephen Joseph wraps his one good arm around PK's neck with a half-full nelson, and then lets out a big sigh. The crowd stands up, not believing Stephen Joseph is going to try it, let alone hit...Joseph pulls and jumps/falls backwards, Pulling Knight over in a rolling motion, knees hitting the mat right before Knight's head splats on the canvas. The crowd gasps, and instinctively, without regard for the man that they hate, break into a "HOLY SHIT!" chant for the one-armed Synchronicity Driver. And Cheers! Stephen Joseph looks around, and then falls onto Peter Knight. The Crowd Chants along 1! 2! 3! 4! Stephen Joseph looks around, and the ref is STILL OUT. Then he turns towards the entrance, and he gives Tha Puerto Rican a thumbs open, which transforms into an "OH SHIT" mouth that Puerto doesn't register...until the pain of a steel chair enters the 24/7 Champ's head. Axel went and had gotten a folding chair from a fan, and HOLY SHIT, was that? But its too quick to register who handed him the chair, as he's dragged off by security. Axel stares over a fallen Puerto Rico into the ring where Stephen Joseph stands. Stephen Joseph stares back, and begs Axel to come into the ring. Axel thinks for a moment, and then rushes into the ring, steel chair still in hand "What? YOUR boy is interfering in this match! I'm here to be unbiased! Stephen Joseph jaws right back "YOU?! You backstabbing no good sanctimonious sob of a bitch" Axel stares back and tosses the chair down on the mat. "C'mon, I'll be the referee!" "YOU!! FUCK NO!" And Stephen Joseph pushes Axel back. Axel rebounds from the ring ropes and pushes Stephen Joseph, who bounces back...and into a recovering Peter Knight. KNIGHTMARE! Peter Knight reaches down and instinctively hits his finisher! He collapses into a cover, pulling up SJ's left shoulder. Axel quickly drops down for the count... 1, 2 , NO KICKOUT! The count was a rather fast one too. Knight slaps the mat in disgust, as SJ rolls onto his chest in pain. Knight spies the chair. He picks it up, and goes towards Stephen Joseph, murder in his eyes. He brings the chair back, and brings it down, NO! Axel rips the chair away! He starts yelling at Knight "You can't use a chair!" Knight turns around and says "Oh yeah, why not!" Axel stares back, nostrils flaring, eyes fuming, two men who hate Stephen Joseph now locked nose to nose with each other. Stephen Joseph is recovering, standing up. Axel sees this, and pushes Knight to the side, and BLASTS Stephen Joseph with a chair shot, unprotected, to the head. Joseph goes limp. Axel points to the fallen champion as a hush comes over the crowd."Because I wanted to do that, and now You're going to finish him!" Axel tosses the chair onto the mat as Knight picks up the deadweight that is Stephen Joseph. Looking at where the chair is, Knight positions himself next to it and then points to the crowd. CABOOSE YES! DO IT!! Peter Knight drops down, KNIGHTMARE onto the steel chair! The sound of skull hitting metal reverberates through the arena as Joseph is sent to LaLa Land. COLE My God, oh my God!! Stephen Joseph may have a serious concussion here. Knight comes over , and nonchalantly puts one foot on SJ broken arm which is slung to his chest. Axel, HeldDown General Manger, drops down. Normally the crowd would pick up the count, but they are still in shocked silence as Axel slaps the mat. 1! CABOOSE YES! 2! CABOOSE YES! 3! *DING DING DING* CABOOSE (in full Bobby Heenan at the '92 Rumble mode) YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! YES! As [i]Oh Hell Yeah[/i] blasts over the PA, Axel retrieves the title belt and hands it to the new champion, who presses it to his chest and drops to his knees as Michael Buffer makes it official. BUFFER Ladies and Gentlemen, your winner, and NUUUU OAOAST World Heavyweight CHAMPION, Peeeetteerr KNIGHT! The crowd response is muted, at best, though some cheer loudly. Most of the crowd continues to stare in shock as paramedics rush down to the ring, as its very obvious to well, everyone, that Stephen Joseph is very badly injured. CABOOSE YEEEEAAHHHHHH!!!! COLE But WHY? Why would Knight choose to win like this? Why would Axel interfere like this? CABOOSE Axel decided to use his new powers the best way he can and finally get the belt off that undeserving wanker. Peter Knight was the lucky man to benefit from it. COACH Well, this is great! I don't have to praise Stephen Joseph's bullshit anymore! COLE What's that supposed to mean? COACH Nothing. Knight looks into the title belt and smiles back at his reflection, his three year journey finally ended with his dream coming true. Axel slaps him on the shoulder, smiling broadly himself as he looks over at the fallen former champion, lip readers see the words "Tough luck, mate" escape his lips as he turns back and raises the arm of the new champion. COLE I had a feeling that we were going to kick off 2006 with a bang tonight, but it seems we also kicked off a new era in the OAOAST with Axel becoming the new HeldDOWN General Manager and Peter Knight winning the World Title. We certainly should have more on both these developments on our regular Thursday time, so until then, for Caboose and Coach, I'm Michael Cole. Happy New Year, everyone! Knight hits the turnbuckles and raises the belt in the air to a blinding wave of flashbulbs as EMTs load both Tha Puerto Rican and Stephen Joseph on stretchers and wheel them out of the arena. Knight doesn't notice it because he is firmly on Cloud Nine at this point, a dream realized. Peter Knight. New OAOAST World Heavyweight Champion.

I think the Civil War should logically end at AM V. I think it will be easier to have Axel and PK align with the Upstarts. They're not technically, but they are. This is selfish on my part, because SJ's storyline kind of now revolves on ramifications from his title loss. And Zackie baby, don't take this the wrong way, but I don't think we need Malibu the character as Champion for awhile. We've got alot of guys who we should really work towards getting them an initial run. Youre our Sting now. Or if you like, Angle. As for your angle...probation doesnt work. The investors are so upset that if this invasion continues theyll just leave and leave the oaoast without any management. No investor would sabotage their own company if they were rational. They'd just take their money to SWF (since it exists in OAOAST land). Make them give an ultimatatum (FINISH THIS, or else). Adds desperation to both sides, sets up the big blowoff as the big blowoff, and that's that. As for how it should end, the upstarts, can I make a small, selfish suggestion? Since SJ is on the shelf, injured, if War Games decides the War, can the ref get bumped, and SJ come in, unannounced, rip off a ref shirt, and count the 3 on the upstarts so that they lose? I can explain all of that, and it would lend nicely to a feud with axel

Oh boy, more fun stuff. Firstly, because of your graphical abilities Papacita, you definitely need your modship. Secondly, about modship, and more specifically mine. I don't use GCF for anything but posting my segments. I can do that via PM too. Therefore, because me having a modship really doesn't matter, I'd be more than happy to give up my modship whenever I'm through with this whole SJ and title thing, which things should be settled out by the end o winter). Feedback is a problem, and I left my first feedback for a PPV for ClimaXXX. Not sure if it was good or helpful, but it showed I read each and every match. maybe recognition helps. Hey, I'd be all in favor of a Sunday Night Hangout on AIM. That's normally a good time to be free. Perhaps we can pin a screenname list to the OAOAST folder that we can all put down, whatnot, with name, screenname, and characters controlled, and general interests. But please dont ask anyone out. Especially girls in Canada.

No he won't, because I'll hold him down to feud with a returning MarioLogan. Seriously, I would love to hear other OAT TOASTERS chime in. I'm glad for the kind of backhanded but still nice comment NYU said. Hey, I honestly suck as a writer, and I know that, but you know, I'm back and I'm trying. We're in no way shape or form in our worst form. That was what happened the last time when I tried to guide the fed to what I wanted. Oops. Yeah. Thanks for the mulligan opportunity. Anyways, here's MY top 5 things we can do in the OAOAST next year. 1) Reduce the mods. Peter Knight, Zack Malibu, Papacita, + whoever is champion. Knight because he is a mod, Malibu because he IS, like it or not, the de facto lead here, Papa for the graphics, and the champ. 2) Do more than just match shows. Think about it. 3) Let the Champ pick the next Champ. No one else. Any storyline with the main belt is at the Champ's discretion. Also, championships should last 3-6 months. Makes it mean something, etc. One must put forth the work to be deserving (cough, Ed Wood Caufield, cough) 4) Promote a better sense of community. Look, we all have had some down and out times, but NGA is still here, and Hoff/NY are still around and trying to contribute positively. If I can be forgiven by CWM for all of my shit, be given an opportunity to be the "man" for awhile, we can all move forward. 5) End true style shoot promos in our written shows. Anything storyline is bible, but shit outside of written shows, should be taken up in other threads. Shooting is great, but it can also be a silver bullet to us. Oh, and I'd be remiss without the ultimate solution: 6) Make SJ World Champion 4 Life.

Dude, like merry times dude

dammiot.

Frigid, I'll apply for us both for the NFL Mock Draft/ Baseball. Fantasy experts we is

Make me a mod Thatll fix every problem (yeah right)

This must mean I didnt win. YES I AM NOT A BASTARD WOOHOO!! (this year)

Thanks PK, that'll work great

the real question is didja get a "birthday present"

(After the Calvin Segment please) Scotty Static and Johnny Jax are playing on their brand spanking new X-BOX 360~! WOOT~! with wireless controllers, running around the Upstart's locker room yipping and yayying. Behemoth and Christian Wright, suprisingly enough, are engrossed over a game of chess laid out on one of the benches. Throughout the rooms clothes are neatly piled, or hung in the lockers with care. Lots of ripped wrapping paper though, litters the floor. Scotty AWW yeah KICKED YOUR ASS! Johnny Just One More Game! The door opens, and in walks Stephen Joseph, with his title belt slung over his shoulder. Tha Puerto Rican stands behind Stephen, taking in the situation. A very merry Christmas spirit seems to be dampened. Christian AWWWW SHIT! Behemoth just check-mated Christian Wright, who wasn't paying enough attention, or undervalued his opponents skills (Between you and me, Behemoth was an amatuer chess champion growing up). A chess board is flung towards the door, and Stephen Joseph deftly grabs the board, and then hands it to Puerto, who breaks it in half over his leg. Stephen Joseph Gentleman, I have a problem. And if I have a problem, the Upstarts have a problem. Which means YOU have a problem. :: He pauses to point his finger at each Upstart in the room. Scotty just can't resist making faces at Johnny, which draws Puerto's ire in the form of a flung half of a chessboard, narrowly missing Scotty's temple. Scotty Hey Man! What gives? Such a buzzkill! Stephen Joseph Shut Up Scotty. I wanted to state, for the record, that my problem is with you guys. You see, there was this ::finger quotes:: Championship Match ::end finger quotes:: at Climax, and when Axel interfered, who came and tried to help me? Puerto Rican I did boss! Stephen Joseph That's right. YOU did. What about you guys? What was your excuse. Johnny Hey man, we haven't exactly been seeing you around here much....Mr. "World Champion" Champion of what, a promotion you're supposed to hate? Scotty Yeah man, if you were so into being an Upstart, why haven't you trashed the title. What gives? Stephen Joseph This title has a lineage that's older than your great grandfather's. Puerto And that's the Truth Ruth! Stephen Joseph (looks over at PRL, mildly annoyed). Johnny Look man, all I be saying is that , you know, to show some love, you gotta give some love. Now, we were actually unawares about what happened, till it didn't matter no more. Scotty So like, step off bro. Stephen Joseph So its like that huh. Okay fine. Johnny, Scotty, I'll be in YOUR corner next week. I just want to make sure that, when the moment is right at New Year's Day, you guys are in my corner. When I get into trouble, I want you guys to come out there and even the odds. Take. Axel. OUT! Behemoth Be There. We were planning on being there. Can't miss it. Christian Most important match for the Upstarts! Sure with SJ carrying their title around, we've got their little gizzards! Stephen Joseph Thanks. Merry Christmas. Hope you guys enjoy your presents. As Stephen Joseph walks out, the camera follows. He closes the door, and as he does Puerto looks at him concerned. Stephen Joseph I know. I've got a bad feeling too. By the way, here's your Christmas present. ::SJ hands Puerto and envelope:: Stephen Joseph walks off as Puerto looks at the envelope. He carefully opens it, and a manilla parchment rolls down. A small sticky note is attached. It reads: "Always look out after your friends. Here's to a second round Puerto looks at the paper, and smiles. Our intrepid floating camera that sees all looks over Puerto's shoulder. As the screen fades to black, we see the heading "OAOAST World Title Championiship Match" Date: Open, 2006. ::End Scene::

F, What about that fantasy sports column? We could even begin by previewin baseball