WrestlingDeacon

Fyre being the Nitro Girl Michaels is married to. Jericho got to shovel poop for LUCY THE BULLDOG.

You can do your reports anyway you want Ejiro. I was doing mine in a very "reporterly" manner. Wrestler A defests Wrestler B at such a time via their finisher. With other notes like Wrestler C interfered or Wrestler A and B brawled into the crowd post match. And flesh out the interviews and any other segments a bit more. I'll probably write my house show up tonight and I'll pm it to you. You can send me yours if you want. Also, I have active rosters for both feds if you want them. For asking to be put over someone SS, you will be jobbed out in non-title matches like you were La Resistance.

Did we have promo of the year awards last year? I know we had best promo writer, but I think we should have one for best individual promo. Mainly, because I think I can win that bitch with the Howard Stern promo.

I believe the original plan was to have Luger win the belt at SummerSlam then feud with Borga. Drop the belt to him at Survivor Series and then win it back at Wrestlemania the following year after winning the Rumble to get his title shot. Yes, Borga was going to main event Wrestlemania.

HSW Rainbow Fun Hour for Saturday, September 14th, 2003 Live from the Big Rock Candy Mountain Hosts: Jon Ian and the Deacon A Singles Match of Metaphoric Commentary on the Police Force of America or Something I Threw Together at the Last Minute? You Decide. Boss Man vs The Blackmailer. Match Background: None. The Match: Wack kick from Boss Man. Uninspired brawling from Boss Man. Boss Man strikes away at The Blackmailer, not doing much damage at all. There's a two count on the pin. Weak bodyslam on Blackmailer by Boss Man sets up a legdrop. Hooks the leg for a two count. Boss Man misses a big legdrop after stalling too long. The Blackmailer strikes Boss Man. Hooks the leg for a two count. Back heel kick from Blackmailer on Boss Man but it misses by miles. Boss Man blocks a kick from The Blackmailer. Boss Man DDTs The Blackmailer. The Blackmailer is in trouble. Here it comes - Boss Man Slam. 1....2...3, it's finished. Boss Man gives a murderous look toward The Blackmailer...and attacks! Blackmailer gets dropped to the canvas, then battered with a barrage of rights and lefts. Boss Man leaves the ring having left Blackmailer down and out. Winner: Boss Man My Opinion: Bad match which brought absolutely nothing to the table and was a waste of time. DUD. (The Blackmailer is Evan Kariagas in another random masked man gimmick from early ‘90’s WCW. He tried to get into character by showing Boss Man incriminating photos he had of him and Nailz in prison in Cobb County, Georgia. Gives a whole new meaning to the term “nightstick.” Probably “cobb” too. I’m told it was a rainy night in Georgia, the lights went out and then they all got on a midnight train. And if anybody gets that, you’re on entirely too much drugs.) Overall Rating: 48% Crowd Reaction: 53% Match Quality: 56% Elizabeth Borden and SpongeBob BacklundPants find Supreme in the back with Terry Funk’s underpants on his noggin like a headdress. Borden has discovered that the doctors have not cleared Supreme to wrestle from his pudding related knee injury. Supreme insists “Me no Supreme! Me Tatanka Mighty Buffalo! Me wrestle! Me healthy!” Borden gives Supreme a funny look while Backlund just waddles around in his SpongeBob suit and talks about crabs. Ok, Borden insists that “Tatanka” sign a waiver before they allow him to wrestle. Not so much for his safety but to clear them of any responsibility if he actually wrestles as sloppy as the real Tatanka. Borden hopes to trick Supreme into signing his real name, but he just draws a picture of a buffalo. Borden has Backlund sign the waiver as commissioner and he draws a giant squid eating the buffalo. Some days Lizzy wishes she was still a two bit whore with her feet in the air and a song in her heart. Segment Rating: 58% Will Eating You Give Me Explosive Diarrhea Singles Match The Nitroglycerin Kid vs Hypoglycemic Harry Smith. Match Background: The Really, Really New Midnight Express and Irish Wolfhounds have been feuding recently. Neither team holds an in-ring victory since the feud started. The Match: Harry Smith connects with a back heel kick on Kid and gets back up quickly. Spinning back kick from Harry Smith. Implant DDT by Harry Smith! I will always and forever mark out for that move. Spin kick by Harry Smith to the face sends the opponent FLYING across the ring. The Nitroglycerin Kid avoids a Harry Smith avalanche by getting out of the damn way! The Nitroglycerin Kid hits a rolling kick on Harry. Konnan has ruined any chance for me ever enjoying this maneuver again with his shitty execution of it. Kid crushes Harry with a huge legdrop. There's a two count on the pin. Harry Smith fights out of a grapple. Super kick by Harry Smith. Hooks the leg for a two count. Vicious kick to the teeth from Harry Smith. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Harry goes for a splash but Kid puts the knees up. The Nitroglycerin Kid strikes Harry. The Nitroglycerin Kid gets taken down out of nowhere! Harry hits a dropkick on The Nitroglycerin Kid and gets right back up. Harry whips Kid into the turnbuckles...and the ref is crushed! The Nitroglycerin Kid floors Harry, then signals for the Nitro Driver. Meanwhile, Harry Smith has something in his hands. Kid comes over...and gets nailed with a set of brass knuckles! The referee wakes up to see the pinfall: 1....2....3! It's over. The fight has started up again! The Nitroglycerin Kid attacks Harry, and they brawl all around ringside, then into the crowd! They eventually disappear backstage, still fighting. Winner: Hypoglycemic Harry Smith My Opinion: It was close to a ** match, but I just can't stand too many blown spots. *3/4 (What we know about Dames: he loves implant DDT’s, he hates rolling kicks, he buys a kick to the teeth as a finisher, he loves pina coladas and getting caught in the rain. I need a better finisher name than Nitro Driver for the Nitroglycerin Kid. That sounds like some sort of last ditch ratings ploy Eric Bischoff used during the dying days of WCW. “Tune in Monday for WCW NITRO DRIVER~!” Post match, Smith breaks off the brawl and eats the pair of brass knuckles. What? You never heard of a knuckle sandwich? Damn, that was a lame joke even for me and I’m the guy that came up with the FlockNest Monster.) Overall Rating: 59% Crowd Reaction: 58% Match Quality: 75% Welcome to Cooking with Gonzalez! This week Gonzalez has the perfect guest to show the kids how to make that sandwich, Barney the Deli Worker (Abdullah the Butcher for those who can’t be bothered to read previous shows and Leonard Shelby). Barney notes that the first thing you need to do is slice your meat. As opposed to beating your meat for those boys out there reaching that certain age; wink, wink, nudge, nudge, say no more, say no more. Barney gets his meat cutter fired up…and…there is just something so intoxicating…bout that lovely spinning blade…so sharp… Barney attempts to blade him on the meat cutter and Gonzalez attempts to hold him back. Abdullah is going through blading withdrawal worse than Sandman without booze. “Tatanka” prances in while war whooping and uses the distraction to raid the refrigerator on Gonzalez’s set, looking for pudding. All he finds in the fridge are heads of cauliflower and the damn thing isn’t even plugged in. You mean this isn’t even a real kitchen? “T.V. lie to Tatanka again. First no Mayberry, now this. Tatanka disillusioned. Tatanka disillusioned that he know the word disillusioned. Must no talk to Midnight Express.” Barney tries to make friends with “Tatanka” by attempting to blade him with the meat cutter. “Tatanka” is scared of spinny metal thing and attacks Barney. They rumble off the set and Gonzalez dejectedly eats a head of cauliflower. He swallows it whole too, damned thing you’ll ever see. Segment Rating: 53% The Great Chetti-Etti! is in the back practicing magic tricks. Honky Tonk Orton walks by with his fingers in his ears while the Disco Ducks dance behind him to a boom box blaring “More, More, More” by the Andrea True Connection. Chetti stops Orton and asks if he can see his watch. Orton is distracted enough to let him see it. Chetti wraps the watch in a handkerchief, blows on it and then smashes it with a sledgehammer. He pulls a box out from the under the table, opens the lid and gives Orton back his wallet. “Hey, I gave you a watch! You jerk! Let’s fight!” You have to keep match setups simple for the kiddies. Both men storm off to prepare for their match. The Disco Ducks check out the wallet and look at the driver’s license, “Hey, who’s Jimmy Hoffa?” Segment Rating: 73% This Booking is Fucked up Even for Me Singles Match "Tatanka" vs Barney the Deli Worker. Match Background: None. The Match: "Tatanka" strikes away at Barney the Deli Worker, not doing much damage at all. Uninspired brawling from "Tatanka". "Tatanka" with a badly-executed spinning neckbreaker on Barney. One more performed that badly and this match will end on a bad note, if you get my drift. "Tatanka" slams Barney the Deli Worker down. Barney is sure in trouble now. Barney the Deli Worker fights out of a grapple. Weak bodyslam on "Tatanka" by Barney sets up a legdrop. Weak bodyslam by Barney. Hooks the leg for a two count. "Tatanka" powers out of a Barney the Deli Worker headlock. Big clothesline from "Tatanka". Covers for a quick two count. "Tatanka" scores with a poor standing spinebuster. Cover, ONE...TWO...NO! I honestly thought that match was going to end right then and there. Barney reverses a "Tatanka" hammerlock. Barney strikes away at "Tatanka", not doing much damage at all. "Tatanka" powers out of a headlock. Big kick from "Tatanka" staggers Barney but that's about it. Barney the Deli Worker gets knocked to the ground by "Tatanka", who is already climbing the turnbuckle. Off the top - Mecca Toad Splash, forget about it. 1....2...3! Sandman comes running down the aisle with the Baseball Bat of Mild Discomfort as Presented by Bank One! "Tatanka" is just leaving the ring...and Sandman scores with a brutal bat shot! "Tatanka" falls to the floor holding his head. Winner: “Tatanka” My Opinion: I'll give it a *3/4 rating. If you think of it like currency, it's a 1.75. You can't even take the subway with that anymore here. Work harder man. (I know I should change his finisher to the Papoose to Go, but I like the name Mecca Toad Splash. Sounds like a zydeco funk band from Japan. Check out that match quality and we still on got a star and a quarter. I guess nothing could convince Dames that he wasn’t watching Supreme fighting Abdullah the Butcher. He’s damn lucky this wasn’t a triple threat match with Fat Rhymes, but just wait until next show. And see what I mean about “Tatanka” nearly killing people with his sloppy ring work. Dames knows what I’m talking about.) Overall Rating: 57% Crowd Reaction: 54% Match Quality: 75% Sandman continues to wail on “Tatanka” with the Baseball Bat of Mild Discomfort as Presented by Bank One when Terry Funk runs in for the save. Unfortunately, he’s no Eric Gagne as Sandman proceeds to beat him down as well. “Tatanka” throws Funk his underpants back and tells him to draw strength from them. Sandman gets a whiff of the stench and passes out. Funk takes the ball bat and the two new friends run off because they think they heard an ice cream truck. Segment Rating: 71% I’m Gonna’ Pull a Rabbit Out of YOUR Ass Singles Match Honky Tonk Orton vs The Great Chetti-Etti!. Match Background: None. The Match: Honky Tonk Orton connects with rights and lefts and The Great Chetti-Etti! is down! Rude Awakening neckbreaker on The Great Chetti-Etti! by Orton. Remember when that was a legit finish? Massive backbreaker on Chetti and I get happy flashbacks to Bret Hart's Five Moves of DOOM. Honky Tonk Orton scores with a standing spinebuster. Honky Tonk Orton grapples with The Great Chetti-Etti!, and positions himself so that the referee can't see...and hits a low blow! He rolls up the stunned The Great Chetti-Etti!: 1....2....3!! What a cheap shot! Honky Tonk Orton goes into the crowd, where he celebrates his victory Winner: Honky Tonk Orton My Opinion: This match gets two stars from me. Nothing more, nothing less. ** (Apparently there was a special episode of Bear in the Big Blue House coming on and we had to wrap the show up early. I hear the bear actually leaves the house. Damn if Chetti didn’t get squashed like that egg in the newspaper trick. And boy is that a gay ass trick. It’s Kaos’ favorite though. “Fuck! I’m not even on the damn show and he’s still making gay jokes about me. I’m not gay though! Stop looking at me! I’m not gay!”) Overall Rating: 63% Crowd Reaction: 67% Match Quality: 74% Overall Show Rating: 60% TV Rating: 1.46 Attendance: 417 kids who want to know why Kaos the Blue Fairy isn’t happy.

That's why I mentioned the days I did, I don't think we have shows there, but we can mix and match a bit. Like we probably won't have a house show on Saturday before a big ppv. Also, if one of the CC members see this, send me and Ejiro active rosters for both the SWF and SJL. Just as a reference tool.

Thanks Thugg, now registered. What folder would house show results go in?

Sure, Ejiro. Let's do two house shows a week. One can be on Saturdays and the other can be on Tuesdays or Thursdays. I'll take the weekend one if that's cool by you. I'll try to have one ready to go by this weekend. I still need to join Empire too. Someone put the link to it back up in this thread.

I would be more than happy to do the house show results thing. That's quick and easy and sounds like fun. I can also see about drawing up a line of officially lisenced SWF merchandise and sponsors (Frost brand or otherwise). Not including hats, t-shirts and regular junk like that.

Hard Boiled.

Do you mean just the use of two guns or the way John Woo choreographs such sequences? John Wayne can be seen shooting Indians with two colt's in Stagecoach and his trademark was firing a rifle with one hand while having a pistol in the other, much like in True Grit. Also, Clint Eastwood is showing firing two pistols in the Outlaw Josey Wales as well. I'm sure there are tons of westerns featuring a guy firing two guns at once.

I caught bits of it last night and Joe seems like a complete idiot. By this time, you have to know that every reality show has a certain trick or swerve to it and if you're not in on it, they must be doing it to you. I do like the improv nature of it though. People have to assume these stereotypical type characters and then basically maintain that character 24/7 while fleshing them out and playing off the others.

Randy Culley who was Spot in the Moondogs was Smash for like two or three weeks before being replaced by Darsow. Apparently there is a Coliseum tape with a battle royale including Culley as Smash, but footage of him is hard to find. Why the switch was made, I'm not sure. As an added note, I've read that Bill Eadie became a high school match teacher upon his active wrestling retirement, but will still make special appearances to this day.

I was saying it's lame and gay by today's standards. Although back then, most wrote them off as a Road Warriors rip-off when they first debuted. I think them getting over has more to do with Eadie and Darsow's ability to work as a team and work the gimmick than the gimmick itself. Hell, Darsow had himself over as the Repo Man.

Vampires are smarter and more cunning. Brains wins over mindlessness anyday.

In watching old Demo matches I am surprised at how fucking gay they were. Old, fat guys in studded leather with make up? Not to take anything away from Eadie and Darsow who were both very smart wrestlers and could work a match beyond their skill levels by knowing how to get the crowd involved and knowing how to put a match together. Good team, lame gimmick.

The actually showed that Simpsons' segement on CNN when they announced his death last night. I also like the Simpsons bit where they wind up in Bronson, Missouri instead of Branson.

I was thinking Brad Dexter was still alive, but I double checked and he died last December. Also, Horst Bucholz died in March and of course Coburn passed last November. If I was Vaughan, I'd watch himself. Also, Eli Wallach who played the villain is still alive.

1987 WWF 1) Jake Roberts vs. Kamala (SNME May) 2) Can-Am Connection vs. Bob Orton and Don Muraco (Wrestlemania) 3) Judy Martin, Leilani Kai, Dawn Marie, Donna Christanello & Sherri Martell vs. The Jumping Bomb Angels, Velvet MacIntyre, Rockin’ Robin & The Fabulous Moolah (Survivor Series) 4) Adrian Adonis vs. Roddy Piper (Wrestlemania) 5) WWF Tag Titles, best 2/3 falls: The British Bulldogs vs The Hart Foundation (SNME May) 6) IC Title: Ricky Steamboat vs. Randy Savage (Wrestlemania) 7) WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant (Wrestlemania) NWA 1) Florida Heavyweight Title: Mike Rotundo vs. Ivan Koloff (GAB) 2) World vs. US Tag Titles: The Midnight Express vs. The Rock 'n Roll Express (GAB) 3) TV Title Unification Mach: Terry Taylor vs. Nikita Koloff (Starrcade) 4) Barbed Wire Ladder Match: Dusty Rhodes vs. Tully Blanchard (GAB) 5) Bunkhouse Tag Match: Steve Williams & Terry Gordy vs. Eddie Gilbert & Dick Murdoch 6) WarGames: Ric Flair, Tully Blanchard, Arn Anderson, Lex Luger & JJ Dillon vs. Dusty Rhodes, Nikita Koloff, Hawk, Animal & Paul Ellering (GAB-special exemption, it's freaking Wargames!) 7) World Title Match: Ric Flair vs. Ronnie Garvin (Starrcade) (Of course, there were three different GAB shows in the summer of '87)

I'm going to jump back honky cat and pick up 1988. WWF 1) Women’s tag team title: Judy Martin & Leilani Kai v. The Jumping Bomb Angels (Rumble) 2) Ricky Steamboat vs. Rick Rude (Rumble) 3) Bad News Brown vs. Bret Hart (WrestleFest) 4) Brutus Beefcake vs. Greg Valentine (SNME-March) 5) WWF Tag Team Titles: Strike Force vs. Demolition (Wrestlemania IV) 6) Ted Dibiase vs. Randy Savage (SNME-March) 7) WWF World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Andre the Giant (The Big Event: for historical purposes only) WCW: 1) The Sheepherders vs. Nikita Koloff and Steve Williams (Clash III) 2) TV Title: Mike Rotundo vs. Brad Armstrong (Clash III) 3) US Tag Team Title: The Midnight Express vs. The Fantastics (Clash I) 4) US Title: Barry Windham vs. Sting (Clash III) 5) World Tag Titles: Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard vs. Barry Windham and Lex Luger (Clash I-and yes I know Windham and Luger are working double, but they're hosses) 6) World Heavyweight Title: Ric Flair vs. Lex Luger (Starrcade)

Ok, I haven't done WWF yet, I'll do 1997. 1) Chicago Street Fight: Faarooq, Crush and Savio Vega vs. Road Warriors and Ahmed Johnson (Wrestlemania) 2) Ken Shamrock vs. Vader (Cold Day in Hell) 3) HHH vs. Mankind (Canadian Stampede) 4) TAKA Michinoku vs. The Great Sasuke (Canadian Stampede) 5) WWF World tag team title: Owen Hart & British Bulldog vs. Phil Lafon & Doug Furnas (Final Four) 6) Steve Austin vs. Bret Hart (Wrestlemania) 7) HIAC: Shawn Michaels vs. Undertaker (Badd Blood)

Ok, WCW 1997 then I'm going to stop. 1) Chris Jericho vs. Gedo (Havoc) 2) Mortis vs. Glacier (Uncensored) 3) TV Title: Alex Wright vs. Ultimo Dragon (Fall Brawl) 4) Cruiserweight title, mask v. title: Eddy Guerrero v. Rey Mysterio Jr. (Havoc) 5) Death Match: Randy Savage vs. DDP (Havoc) 6) Curt Hennig vs. Ric Flair (World War III) 7) WCW World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Sting (Starrcade-only for the historical significance and the purpose of having a world title match) (The worst part about 1997 is that all the good ppv matches involve Eddy Guerrero)

OK, WCW 1996. 1) Lord Steven Regal vs. Belfast Bruiser (Uncensored) 2) Psychosis vs. Rey Mysterio Jr. (Bash at the Beach) 3) Mexican Heavyweight Title: Conan vs. Juventud Guerrera (Fall Brawl) 4) J-Crown vs. WCW Cruiserweight Title: Ultimo Dragon vs. Dean Malenko (Starrcade) 5) US Title: Diamond Dallas Page vs. Eddy Guerrero (Starrcade) 6) Falls Count Anywhere: Chris Benoit vs. Kevin Sullivan (GAB) 7) WCW World Title in a cage: Randy Savage vs. Ric Flair (Superbrawl)

OK, guess I'll do WCW 1995 too. 1) Paul Roma vs. Alex Wright (Super Brawl-for the fasinating way Roma shoots on Wright) 2) Brian Pillman vs. Johnny B. Badd (Fall Brawl) 3) Cutie Suzuki & Mayumi Ozaki v. Bull Nakano & Akira Hokuto (World War III) 4) Shinjiro Ohtani v. Eddy Guerrero (Starrcade) 5) US Title: Meng vs. Sting (Bash) 6) Ric Flair vs. Arn Anderson (Fall Brawl) 7) World Title: Hulk Hogan vs. Van Vader (Super Brawl) (I would have put Sting vs. Luger vs. Flair from Starrcade on here, but I needed them elsewhere. '95 was a bad year.)

Ok, I'll pick up WCW 1994 then. 1) TV Title: Lord Steven Regal vs. Johnny B. Badd (Fall Brawl) 2) Arn Anderson vs. Dustin Rhodes (Halloween Havoc) 3) Terry Funk vs. Tully Blanchard (Slamboree) 4) WCW World Tag Team Titles: The Nasty Boys vs. Cactus Jack and Kevin Sullivan (Slamboree) 5) US Title: Steve Austin vs. Ricky Steamboat (Bash at the Beach) 6) Gold Belt Title: Sting vs. Vader (Slamboree) 7) WCW World Title: Ric Flair vs. Hulk Hogan (Halloween Havoc)