Edwin MacPhisto

Ditto on American Pastoral. The Hours is decent to good, and not as full of itself of the movie; getting rid of all the weepy, exaggerated emoting from the female leads helps a lot. It's a lot more subtle in the book, though I certainly don't love it.

I wonder if Ainge had this planned all along, or if he just got really lucky after the Allen trade. Probably the latter. I thought the Allen trade was good, but this makes it great. Sign Brevin Knight, then another tall warm body at center for the veteran's minimum, and they're looking like killers. Massive trades like this are one of the things that fascinate me most about sports. The Celtics have gotten rid of 6 guys who played considerable minutes for them over the past month--over half the functional team, really--but they're still the Celtics. They should get a new name, too.

Use a cast-iron skillet, a good cut of meat, and finish it in a super-hot oven rather than pan-frying the whole thing (you only need to sear a steak for maybe 30-40 seconds on each side outside the oven) and it won't taste anything like a burger. I eat Kix by the handful.

1. Cocoa Krispies 2. Cinnamon Toast Crunch 3. Honey Nut Cheerios 4. Crispix 5. Kix Shit, now I want a bowl of cereal.

I love Jimmy John's advertising. They must target hispanic demographics pretty heavily, as the majority of their ads in Virginia are in Spanish and thus doubly hilarious.

Damn. That was out of nowhere.

I did that too. First job, a robust $5.75/hour at age 15. It was also my job to deliver dinner to the blind or totally immobile people every night, which led to one of the more distinct memories I have from that summer. Walked into the room, didn't see anyone, put down the tray, and then noticed the old woman sprawled on the floor, contorted like Linda Blair in The Exorcist. She looked up at me, then to the bathroom, and growled "Help me poop!" Thankfully, that wasn't my job. I pressed the call button and let the $8 heavy hitters take care of that one.

Actually, the one great thing I've ever had at the Cheesecake Factory was during the aforementioned "nowhere else has seats" meal. They made a surprisingly wonderful roasted artichoke appetizer. Get that shit and a cake and kick it.

I like how the lights they have on each booth look like the Eye of Sauron. The cheesecakes at said Factory are really good, if ludicrously overpriced. Food is meh, and I'd stick to their excessive burgers. In high school, my friends and I would sometimes make an expedition of heading to the one up in Tampa, kind of ironically but still tempted by the lure of some overpowering Dulce de Leche cheesecake slices. Not really sure why we felt like making dinner an ironic choice, but I guess that's misspent youth for you. There's one in my neighborhood now, and the only time I've been there was when I was dangerously hungry and couldn't get a table in less than 30 minutes anywhere else within 4 blocks.

The Phoenix Suns: if you won't even buy our first round picks, then hell, we'll just give them to you!

I don't think I know anyone who ends up paying full price for the stuff at Express. They constantly have sales and bizarre coupons. I walked out of there with four dress shirts and a tie for about $100 a few weeks ago. My favorite shirt is probably the Prince shirt I got off eBay for $8 a few years ago. Silk screen drawing of the man with "CREAM" written in glow-in-the-dark, jizz-colored puffy paint.

Gay. But tender.

I always aim for a Cracker Barrel during long drives on 75 or 95. Something about it just makes me happy.

Barring a suspension, the signs and chants at away games are going to be fantastic.

It's not D.C., but it's definitely the D.C. metro area. Both Arlington and Alexandria are right across the Potomac by metro or any number of parkways and bridges. I live in Arlington now, and it's a mile or a couple metro stops into the city. You buy metrocards (paper tickets) or a Smartrip (rechargeable plastic) to ride the metro (and the metrobus), but there's no monthly pass like you can get in some cities. Gotta pay each way--the minimum fare is $1.35 a trip. This map is the bible as far as figuring out routes, commutes, and fares. As for not getting shot--D.C. has four quadrants. Stay out of Northeast and Southeast (except right around Capitol Hill), and you'll probably stay bullet-free, though there are okay parts scattered throughout. I think Richmond or Detroit have taken over the mantle of the Murder Capital in recent years. Considering how retarded the housing market is here, you guys are probably gonna want to split a 1-bedroom or a studio.

So really all the Blazers got for Randolph was Channing Frye and to dump a few salaries. Not saying Francis was worth keeping, but I wonder if they would have been better keeping Randolph and unloading him on someone at the trade deadline. It's not like trading him now got them any sort of high value. Guess they've certainly cleared up space to keep all their young guys if they develop as hoped.

This is my cue to start following college football websites again. I'm in, of course.

So baller.

Her left arm looks kind of like a displaced third breast.

Every Saw movie is totally terrible in its own shitty way, yet I've still happily seen them all. They're trainwrecks I can't look away from. Each one is pretty much a perfect example of absolutely how not to make a movie.

Romantic comedy.

To download it, at least. Evaluation forthcoming.

I'm absolutely astonished that, 8 months after launch, these still aren't readily available. What the fuck, Nintendo.

I, too, love her without shame, in both music- and boner-related issues.

There are still tickets available for the Morrissey show at an amphitheatre here in northern Virginia on Monday. $30 lawn, $48 orchestra. Should I go?