this jus in... 
  
wwe signs famously obese film legend Marlon Brando to longterm contract. it is rumored that he will be given a world title upon arrival. vince mcmahon was quoted as saying 'he will make the perfect wwe superstar! hes a big fatfuck with no ability to work regulary, whats not to love?!' 
  
and internet wizkid Y2Jerk has been hired as head writer for Monday Night Raw.