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Hank Kingsley

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Everything posted by Hank Kingsley

  1. Yeah, I liked it, but it was pretty somber overall. Poor Jim.
  2. Well, I did a real dumb thing about 11 years ago. I had this flute-style glass flower vase, and it looked perfect for masturbation. The right width and length. So, I opened this old trunk I had and put it between the open lip and the lid. When I got on my knees it was the perfect height. Well, it was working great until I put too much pressure on the lid and it crushed the vase with my cock inside it. I put the pressure on it right when I was cumming, and it severely severed my dick. There was blood everywhere, and I had to have emergency surgery. The wounds were superficial and I had 30 stitches in my cock. It was extremely painful and I contemplated suicide many times, and almost did it once. I have lived with the terror and humiliation beyond all description. I realize that others think it's funny, but I have very painful flashbacks and I've never been able to have another relationship or sleep with a woman since. I doubt I ever will. My cock has a barely visible scar on it, but it is there. Often I think back to it and I can barley overcome my shame.
  3. So I'm in love with Wilco now after Being There. What's another good album to cheq out?
  4. I can't wait for some HILARIOUS, BAFFLED LOOKS! And I want Broken Flowers to get nominated.
  5. I'm missing what this is in reference to. "I'm going to send him a basket of poison muffins" is such a bizarre threat, along with the subsequent Muffin Man gags.
  6. Poison muffins. Tremendous.
  7. I haven't been able to put this down. Great stuff. Also, a Jimi Hendrix compilation and Bob Dylan's "Royal Albert Hall" Concert bootleg series.
  8. Tonight! Excellent. And Andy Richter actually plays himself and one of his quintuplets (!) who has Oscaresque hair.
  9. Yeah, All Things Must Pass is my favorite album by a Beatle, group or solo. So many tremendous songs on one album. Hell, tracks one through six on disc one and one through five on disc two are all incredible. You don't see that too often.
  10. That was a stroke of genius.
  11. Not saying it's necessarily a bad thing, just that some of it seems kind of forced. But I do really like the song, so it's not a big deal.
  12. Desire from '76 was really good though. "Hurricane" is good despite the STRONGPOLITICALMESSAGE!1 and "Isis" and "Mozambique" are top-notch. "Sara" sounds like it would belong on Blood on the Tracks, but it's great either way. The middle of the album is kinda dull, but I can look past it for the ultrastrong beginning and end.
  13. Whoa, wait, Bill Fillmaff was Thoth? This catches me off guard.
  14. When she says "lovely lady lumps" I think of breast cancer.
  15. The Bob Loblaw law blog. Awesome episode.
  16. Greatest thing I've ever read in 4eva. Props!
  17. Of course, the one pay channel I don't get. But hey, that's what torrents are for.
  18. And the "Key Decisions" rerun pretty much blew that away.
  19. Man, the Tobias stuff is starting to freak me out, but "Don't leave Uncle T-Bag hanging" was awesome. Also: "I want to cry...but I want to save the moisture."
  20. "Happy birthday Jesus, sorry your party sucks." "Why'd you get such a big tree?" "First, that's what she said." Dwight paintballing. "Take that, Saddam!" High-quality episode right there. Awesome.
  21. Agreed on Cera. The aforementioned line on the videotape was great, and his knowing everything about laws on marrying cousins was just brilliant subtlety.
  22. Next week's episode is called "Prison Break-In". You know, that title might attract 2 extra viewers.
  23. I'm sad to see Larry the Surrogate leave, though.
  24. The king takes his queen and showers her with DIAMONDS! ...clubs. ...CLUB SAUCE.
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