Kinetic

Are you kidding? I'd tell everyone I know about the time I got some action from two phony lesbian Russian recording artists.

I don't really get it. She's hot, but not hot on a level altogether different from that of her contemporaries. Also: "That 70s Show" is miserable and her breasts are most probably real, although I've never had a particularly good eye for these things unless they're so fake that I couldn't possibly not notice.

Talking Heads- Remain In Light Sonic Youth- Daydream Nation Marvin Gaye- What's Going On

Swine.

I basically had to give up large portions of my social life a few months ago because I can't get drunk around large groups of people without saying or doing something totally embarrassing and offensive to everyone around me.

The absolute worst example of this is a lot of the hardcore punk bands I've seen in town. The typical pre-song political diatribe goes something like this: "This is a song about how, like, a lot of people feel really disaffected by the current administration and how all the grassroots groups and stuff really need to come together this year to get Bush out of office and really affect larger change in our political system. 1, 2, 3...WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!!"

I personally think, in response to Edwin's Prince reviews, that "Dirty Mind" the song deserves at least an 8 or 9. I also think that "Lonesome Cowboy Bill" from Loaded deserves a negative rating for being about the dumbest goddamn song you can possibly imagine a once-great band recording.

The Pearl Jam/Death Cab For Cutie3 ticket is coming through Asheville, as well. I consider any form of Bush-bashing here to be a major form of preaching to the choir, although if I gave a shit about any of the bands on any of these tickets, I'd probably drop a few dollars to see them.l I can't imagine this affecting anyone's vote in November, though; especially a town with as liberal a downtown scene as Asheville.

Who says pop cannot be subversive, too? Third Eye Blind had a very big hit with "Semi-Charmed Life," a song about speed freaks and oral sex. And that's totally attributable to the fact that the song is catchy. I mean, shit, Lou Reed's "Walk On The Wild Side" was his biggest hit and the single version actually contains the phrase "giving head." Anything can fly under the radar if you have a catchy tune.

"Killer Queen" is actually a pretty amazing pop song, as well.

Then explain the enduring popularity of "Louie Louie" and the use of "Lust For Life" in bank and cruise ship commercials. If a song's catchy, most people won't give a second thought to the lyrics.

A song about a gay sex with an older man isn't strictly pop, is it? It's catchy as fuck. What it's about is immaterial, as far as the pop argument is concerned. That it's about gay sex with an older man makes it all the more likable.

"Kiss" is really a better example of a great poppy Prince song than "Purple Rain." This is the sort of topic on which I'll change my mind over and over again, but I'll go ahead and say The Smiths' "This Charming Man" or the Kinks' "Victoria."

One of mine, as well. David Watts- 10 Death of a Clown- 8 Two Sisters- 9 No Return- 6 Harry Rag- 6 Tin Soldier Man- 8 Situation Vacant- 10 Love Me Till The Sun Shines- 8 Lazy Old Sun- 7 Afternoon Tea- 8 Funny Face- 8 End of the Season- 7 Waterloo Sunset- 10+

Lou Reed- Berlin Berlin- 5 Lady Day- 9 Men of Good Fortune- 8 Caroline Says 1- 6 How Do You Think It Feels- 7 Oh, Jim- 9 Caroline Says 2- 6 The Kids- 8 The Bed- 7 Sad Song- 8 The Kinks- Arthur Victoria- 10 Yes Sir, No Sir- 8 Some Mother's Son- 8 Drivin'- 7 Brainwashed- 10 Australia- 7 (mostly for the jam at the end) Shangri-La- 10 Mr. Churchill Says- 9 She Bought A Hat Like Princess Marina- 6 Young And Innocent Days- 9 Nothing To Say- 6 Arthur- 7 Elvis Costello- Trust Clubland- 7 Lovers Walk- 6 You'll Never Be A Man- 8 Pretty Words- 8 Strict Time- 9 Luxembourg- 5 Watch Your Step- 9 New Lace Sleeves- 8 From A Whisper To A Scream- 8 Different Finger- 6 White Knuckles- 9 Shot With His Own Gun- 7 Fish 'N' Chip Paper- 8 Big Sister's Clothes- 8

I have a hard time comprehending how, as far as McCartney songs from the White Album are concerned, you can rate "Honey Pie" over "Rocky Raccoon." "Honey Pie" is probably the shittiest thing Paul McCartney wrote with the Beatles.

Would it be inappropriate for me to request a moment of silence for Pedro here?

The only noteworthy moment from the London season was when the punk rocker had his tongue bitten off by a hobo. He was asking for it, though. The last thing you do to a heckler is put a part of your anatomy in his mouth out of spite. Just ask Paul Reiser.

I really regret ever posting that idea, because it seems to be one of the more popular things here and I get absolutely no credit for it.

The only exclusion I find totally inexcusable on anything other than a fanboy basis (i.e Diamond Dogs and Station to Station are my two favorite Bowie albums and neither are represented) is Horses. How in the fuck is that not one of the 100 best records of the 70s? How in the fuck is it not better than the first Van Halen album? Beyond that, though, I guess it's not a bad list. I'm glad Marquee Moon made the top 10.

Mr. Schwimmer's attempts to discredit me only further emphasize his incompetence and overall cuntliness. Kinks albums worth owning are as follows: Face To Face; Something Else By The Kinks; Village Green Preservation Society; Arthur; Lola Vs. Powerman & The Moneygoround; and, to a lesser extent, Muswell Hillbillies, which contains the song "Alcohol," which must surely be of some interest to Mr. Schwimmer, a noted drunkard. I concede to not originally realizing that Mr. Schwimmer was such an enormous Who fan, nor did I initially suspect that he was such a dominant figure on Pete Townshend's hard drive. Lamentably, this I can't explain. Can't explain.

Pipe down, Schwimmer.

As far as actual quality is concerned, Lust For Life is about 100x better than anything The Stooges ever did.

Sssssuck.