Kinetic

I'm going to go with Eli Manning making it rain and shooting up a strip club.

It's not hard to envision Hart leapfrogging Dominic Rhodes on their depth chart. My bold prediction, based on nothing, is that he'll end up not only making the team, but splitting time with Addai. Kenton Keith will be released.

ESPN's "College Gameday" is a running "coolest helmet" tournament in the classic "TSM Poster Tournament" format. Allow me to put my $0.02 in. Personally, I've always been partial to helmets with stickers on them. I have always believed--and those of you who have been reading my work since I was a pup writing wrestling articles in Bumfuck, Texas can attest to this--that stickers are pretty. They just are.

So how do Georgia players celebrate their preseason #1 ranking? By getting into a bar room slobberknocker, that's how. True story: Against my better judgement, I one night ended up in the bar where all of this took place. After about 30 seconds of hearing two incredibly shrill sorority girls loudly yelling "Play Soulja Boy!!! Wooo!! Omigod, Soulja Boy!!!" I made a beeline for the door. It was time to go home.

Interesting Skip Caray anecdote: I was listening to him call a Braves-Cardinals game last week, and after a particularly woeful series of at-bats for what remains of the Braves lineup, he said something to the effect of "I don't know how much more of this I can take." Not much more, apparently. He can watch them strand baserunners in heaven now. RIP Skip.

We meet again, Mr. Bojangles.

I just drink cause I love to party. Woooo!

How much did you eat yesterday? Seven beers on an empty stomach will typically cause me to black out, as well.

The press release sent out by the Packers makes it sound like they're now grudgingly going to allow Favre to compete for the starting job. Having resigned myself to the fact that he's not going to end up in Tampa, I'm really hoping that he somehow ends up in Minnesota just for the sheer drama of the Monday night season opener in Green Bay.

...the room is spinning... Actually, Gruden says it's a minor injury. A hamstring strain, I think. Take that for what you will.

I got really drunk and downloaded a pitch-shifter last night. Discuss.

No. You'll be lucky to see any regular season starters for more than a quarter. The last preseason game is used mostly to determine which fringe guys will round out the 53 man roster and which ones will be cut.

Catz in the hood.

I'd wager to say that more white people get HBO. Speaking of which: Curb Your Enthusiasm. Holy shit, that's a white interest if I ever saw one.

Haha, fuckers. I'm sure this will elicit a lot of "What the fuck, bro?" reactions here in Athens. Due to what happened in last year's game and all of the shit I've had to deal with being a Gators fan here, Florida smacking the fuck out of the Dawgs in Jacksonville this year would probably be the all-time high point of my sports fandom.

Awwww! I want a kitten. All our adult cat does is sleep, eat, and stare out the window. I want to see some romping.

I've been going back and forth on the Favre topic. I think the Bucs are actually significantly better than most people think, as we've got solid starters and quality depth at every position except for QB and WR (and even there we just need someone like Clayton, Bryant, Dexter Jackson, etc. to step up at the #2 spot opposite Galloway). I'm a little concerned that it's too late in the offseason to bring in even a guy with as much experience as Favre and expect him to learn Gruden's ultra-complicated, hoodoo-voodoo, two-runs-an-incomplete-pass-and-a-punt offense, but I suppose that playbook could be dumbed down like it has in the past for the likes of Bruce Gradkowski. I don't know. If we could get him for a 3rd round pick and, say, Chris Simms, I'd have to say go for it.

Taken from one of the 500 or so Favre threads on the official Buccaneers message board: I'm waiting for it to be announced that Favre actually has been traded to Tampa to see even the most jaded anti-Grudenite weep tears of joy, only to have Favre Plummer us and decide that he'd rather stay retired than play in miserable, sweltering Tampa Bay. I must say that it's been kind of nice hearing my team discussed on ESPN the last few days, even if it is in conjunction with a story that I'm totally sick to death of.

Happy 24th, Shaved Bear (pronounced Shav-ed Be-air.) One of early TSM's more noteworthy gay pioneers, Shaved Bear is best known for his contributions to the sprawling, utterly impenetrable "Mission to 1000" thread--most notably his "Mmmm...type somethin dirty, baby" catchphrase, which briefly became a board sensation. The subsequent blossoming of an AIM friendship with former TSM mainstay Flyboy was the subject of much ridicule and innuendo. Perhaps feeling that his work here was done, Shaved Bear departed TSM just as the board was making its transition to a slash fiction discussion forum in the summer of 2004 and hasn't been heard from since.

I brought a can of something called snus home from work today after being pressured by the Newport rep into pushing it onto unsuspecting cigarette customers. The first minute or so of having this little pouch in your mouth is like a mild form of torture. Like Ralph Wiggum said, it tastes like burning. Edit: Aggghhh. I swallowed some of the juice. The fuck, Norway?

Oh, that Pitchfork. I guess recycling the "monkey pissing into its own mouth" video would have been too obvious. I really do hope that they write a real review for this thing, as I feel it's necessary for them to fully atone for this crime before I can ever again trust one of their 7.9 ratings for totally nondescript Finnish psych-pop outfits.

Now that I think about it, I'd have Brees and Romo above Hasselbeck or McNabb.

Are these fantasy rankings or reality rankings? I'd probably have them fifth and sixth behind Manning, Brady, Palmer, and Roethlisberger, but all but the first two can be debated.

The Wikipedia entry for "Nighthawk" has proved most illuminating. I've bolded the parts that are most relevant to our friend, TAFKA Milky: