Corey_Lazarus

It comes from my undying hatred of the feminization of man. Sure, there's nothing wrong with a guy being sensitive from time to time, or even being in touch with his emotions and feelings, but when men start acting like pussies and looking like women? That's where I draw the fucking line. It's time to remind people that the word "masculinity" has connotations of strength, character, and honor, and to remind men that they have a cock and balls instead of a bleeding orifice between their legs. ...that and I fucking hate high-pitch voiced singers. You know that.

I went from liking Tool to not caring for Tool to loving Tool to not caring for Tool to being annoyed by Tool to not minding Tool to dislike Tool back to being annoyed by Tool and now I've settled on hating Tool.

I think someone needs to educate James LaBrie about the fact that he has, or at least should have, testicles.

Maybe I just don't "get it." Maybe it's because I'm, I guess, one of the few people that refuses to drink or get high before or during any concert I'm attending. Or maybe it's because I just cannot stand that fucking band. For any (or all) of these reasons, I have been to the worst concert of my life that involved a "big-time" band as opposed to some small local act: Tool is boring as sin live. I know a lot of you still love them, and it's pretty much a guarantee that a good portion of you at least LIKE Tool. I don't. I like two songs - "Aenima" and "Lateralus" - and am sick to fucking death of them. At work, all we have is a radio. We keep it on WBCN. They play Tool once an hour. It gets annoying, especially when the only songs they play on the radio nowadays are "Vicariously" and "The Pot," two songs that even hardcore Tool fans I know fucking hate. I've known I was going since tickets for this tour went on sale, and I've dreaded it since day one. My girlfriend loves the band, and was screwed out of seeing them live three times since becoming a fan (twice because tickets were sold out before she could buy them, and once because her brother bought tickets for himself and his friend with the money she gave him for her ticket), so I understand her wanting to go. But I'm very vocal, at all times, about my dislike of them. Be it due to Maynard's pretentious lyrics (they're not nearly as deep as Tool fans make them out to be), Adam's average-at-best bass work, Justin's guitar abilities that make TOM DeLONGE seem like Joe Satriani, or Danny Carey's overblown image as a master drummer when there are plenty of drummers better than he that never get their deserved attention (any number of death metal drummers come to mind, as well as classic drummers - John Bonham, Keith Moon - that always get overlooked by today's rock audience). I just don't understand their appeal. Of course, that's a lie. I do understand their appeal. A good portion of their fanbase are recreational drug users, many of which have little-to-no musical abilities themselves, and only listen to the music while under the influence of mind-altering (I will never use the term "mind-expanding," since that would in turn perpetuate the belief that something the body views as a poison - which most narcotics are - has positive side effects outside of one's personal enjoyment). But, hey, I digress. So I've been dreading the day. My girlfriend, along with most of my friends, love Tool. Few, if any, of them understand the emotion put into thrash, punk, hardcore, or any of the music I primarily listen to. Steph, however, refused to go unless I was going, saying that she'd be so upset that I wasn't there to share her moment of musical triumph (it's rather obvious I'm paraphrasing rather than quoting) to enjoy it thoroughly...which I think is a complete crock of shit, since I know I could go to a Zombie Apocalypse show and enjoy it entirely without her there (perhaps even moreso, since I know she'd be wanting to hold me back from getting into the pits along with the few other ZA fans)...and thus I'm suckered in. So from Monday, 9/25, until this past Friday, 9/29 (the date of the show), I was fucking miserable. I could only describe it as the sort of frustration that one has when going to your crazy uncle's house that you can't stand when you're 11 or 12: you'll just be glad when it's over, and you're miserable until it is. At least at work I could ignore Tool entirely, drive with my discman and CDs in tow to listen to (my mp3 player is fucked up, which pisses me off since I had about 900 songs on it) from delivery to delivery, and forget I even wasted money on a concert I was sure to hate. But then once I got to her house after work, she'd say something along the lines of "only a few more days until Tool!" and then wonder why I'd be upset. Friday's day of work ends with me getting out early since the company's owner was gone for the day and my boss usually lets me out early (not ridiculously early, but 30-45 minutes earlier than my shift ends) if the day is slow. I just want to get this day over with, so I shower and change and drive to Pizza Hut (which has the remarkable coincidence of having all but three of its employees - including the store manager and shift manager - in my circle of friends) to hang out for a little. I'm sure to grab MOD's USA for MOD and Slayer's Christ Illusion, under the impression that I'm driving to the show. Get to my girlfriend's when she gets out of work, chill for 5 minutes there, and then load up her mother's car with booze and food and a small grill as her brother and his girlfriend are all set to depart as well. We get to the Tweeter Center in Mansfield, MA around 7:15 or so, and pop open a few drinks (save for me, who doesn't drink at shows). Grill up some hot dogs and burgers, and even a steak, and then decide it's time to head in around 8. We chose lawn, so we find a big open spot on the lawn that lets us focus on the middle of the stage (in truth, that was an amazing spot on the lawn to be at), and Tool starts about 10 minutes after we all settle into our spot. The gig starts off with "Stinkfist," and I notice something peculiar: the only person moving at all on stage - outside of their hands and arms - is Danny Carey. For the whole song. There were screens set up to display your typical Tool art (I forget the artist's name, but the guy who does all of their art had his work constantly going in animated form, often with incredibly cheap - cheaper than the Poser program - CGI), which I felt would be better spent showing close-up's of each band member here and there (to give those in the cheap seats a feeling as though they were closer to the stage), but alas it was not to be. So, an hour later, and after playing two songs I'm familiar with ("Stinkfist" and that radio piece of shit "Vicariously"), they're still breaking off into 10-minute jam sessions. Now, having a long jam session is alright when your band is made up of amazing musicians who know the in's and out's of chord progressions and various tricks for their instruments...but it's fucking terrible when the "jam session" sounds exactly the same as the "slow, moody" intro to ALL OF YOUR FUCKING SONGS. JESUS H. FUCKING CHRIST, GUYS: DO SOMETHING REMOTELY FUCKING DIFFERENT FOR ONCE. Ahem...sorry. And, again, I notice something: nobody - not Maynard, not Adam, not Justin - that can move while performing their task musically has done so. Maynard has kicked up his legs a few times and played a few small pieces of shit on the keyboard, ditto Justin, but the majority of the time was spent with the band staring straight ahead and playing as if they were in a practice session. You know when you go to your little cousin's/brother's/etc. high school "talent show" and there's a lot of bands that just play annoyingly awful music and stare straight ahead, almost as if they have no urge to entertain you in the least but just want to show off that they know how to do SOMETHING with what they have? That's what the entire concert was, only with a cheap laser light show that could have been staged better in a Planetarium. And that's where I'll stop my rant/review. Tool was, bar none, the most boring live show I've ever seen. My friends kept hitting me on the shoulder, my girlfriend as well, to ask me if I was enjoying myself, only for me to shake my head and utter something usually along the lines of "I wish I was home listening to SOD right now." After the show, the parking lot was fucking horrible. Tool ended their 2-hour barrage of mediocrity at 11 PM, and we didn't leave the parking lot until sometime after 1:15 AM. The only way I survived was by listening to lame songs on the radio, and hardcore dancing to them to entertain both myself and my friends. The highlight of the entire night for me - besides making Steph promise me she'll have to sit through a Zombie Apocalypse show because I sat through this - was doing the "lawnmower pull" (if you've been in a moshpit, you know what I mean) while doing a semi-skank into my friend Anthony as he was downing a bottle of Smirnoff of Blue Label, causing him to start laughing and spit vodka all over himself. Got home. Went to sleep. Woke up. Listened to Slayer and MOD. Was happy. Moral of the story: I need to stop letting my girlfriend drag me to shows she wants to go to when I don't care at all for, or even fucking hate, the band(s) she wants to see.

Ehhhhh...difference being that Bruce's voice fits the Maiden music, whereas James' voice is the worst part of Dream Theater.

I was into metal of all forms when I was 14 or 15. Just starting to really get attached to my personal fave, which is looking to actually be thrash (bought two comps of nothing but TRUE thrash bands, ie. fast-as-balls hardcore, one of British bands and the other of Japanese bands) and death metal with a big ol' heavy-ass thrash influence (think Black Dahlia and Darkest Hour, though they're more thrash with a big ol' death metal influence). Dio can be a legend all he wants. That still doesn't stop him from being utterly fagtastic. He holds the record as the only live performer to ever - EVER - put me to sleep. Saw Maiden a couple of years ago with Dio and Motörhead opening for 'em right after Dance of Death came out. I hung onto every note for Motörhead, listened to the first Dio song or two and then...ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ. The friends I went with had to wake me up for Maiden. Something about him being, ya know, a fucking scabber for Ozzy irks me too. I don't mind "Rainbow in the Dark," but c'mon...HE'S A FUCKING ELF. To say he's a better vocalist than Dickinson is to say that Clay Aiken has a better voice than Danzig: it just isn't true.

I mainly use MySpace to either leave occasional comments with my friends or find new bands to listen to. I've found a couple that I think are decent off MySpace (Hatesphere primarily), but most of the bands that want to add me sound either like Hatebreed or Slipknot...neither of which I'm a fan of. It's also a good way to get the latest info from the bands I have on my friends list. That way I know when they're touring without having to check out different venue pages and such, or when their next album is being released, hear some demo stuff, etc. But yeah...I got nothing to really add. I enjoy going on my MySpace and leaving dumbass comments on my friends pages and then hearing back from them the next time I see them with either "that was a fucking hilarious comment" or "what the hell did that mean"? Be it comparing Dragonforce to Poison or quoting Dead Kennedys, my comments don't mean much. ...and my pics are fucking stupid. I should get rid of a couple of 'em, though I definitely need to keep the "I PEED MYSELF" one from Warped Tour '05.

SOD - "March of the SOD" and "Sgt. D and the SOD" live "Black Dahlia Sponge": Clips of Spongebob Squarepants to the Black Dahlia Murder's "Funeral Thirst" A fan video for The Misfits' "Hybrid Moments" made with footage of live performances and classic horror movies

Dio sucks, always has and always will. Never disrespect Bruce by comparing him to Dio. NEVER. Dio's only contribution to music was popularizing the horns. That's it. A few catchy tunes, but the little elf makes me shudder in his hilarity.

IIRC, Doring/Roadkill turned solely because of Roadkill's popularity. I can remember when they started getting cheers (not just Roadkill, Doring too, albeit not as much for the Danaconda), and I'm sure there was some small feud to get them over as faces...but I can't remember right now. A feud with Swinger/Diamond, maybe? Yeah, I'm pretty sure that a feud with Swinger/Diamond put Doring/Roadkill over as faces.

I still dislike The Clash. Won't deny their influence, but still dislike them. "London Calling" > "Rock The Casbah"

Or because you didn't read the first post in the thread.

I'd say for an intro, get one of the many "best of's," either Best of the Beast or Edward The Great (leaning towards the latter due to the inclusion of some different material). For full albums, get Brave New World and then one of the three redbaron suggested. You really can't go wrong with Number of the Beast or Piece of Mind, easily their best albums.

Actually, the "Czech yourself before you wreck yourself" was a line he used now and then a year or so ago, maybe even more. I remember the thread where it originated, something along the lines of him actually looking for a tagline. But still, nowhere does he say he WON'T like some aspect of metal. He listed Mechanical Animals as an album he liked. A Marilyn Manson album. Manson, albeit not metal, shares many components with actual metal bands. See the correlation? Plus, Atomic Ballroom Calamity is actually worth a listen because of how different they actually are. Only other bands I've heard that they sound remotely like would be Dillinger Escape Plan and Candiria, and I hate both of those bands, but this one's actually pretty good.

So yeah. Gave the album a few listens since picking it up...2 weeks ago? Yeah...overhyped to the fucking max. I'm with redbaron in the sense that every song seems to try to be an epic with the slow beginning and huge chorus. I'm not feeling it at all. It's still good, but better than Brave New World? Y'all are on fucking crack if you think it TOUCHES Brave New World.

5 most hated bands of the moment: 5. Red Hot Chili Peppers 4. Shinedown 3. Lamb of God 2. Dragonforce 1. Fall Out Boy

I'm saying that, in all likelihood, he won't like it. But there's a lot of jazz influence in the band I rec'd, and if you can APPRECIATE heavy music in the least for its musicianship, then you can APPRECIATE some songs that, at first, sound like utter chaos. You act as if everybody likes just one style of music, and want nothing but recs in that style. I know plenty of people that listen mostly to jam bands and classic rock, and then they hear something like As I Lay Dying (who suck, but that's besides the point) and can get into it. So basically, Czech...Czech yourself before you wreck yourself, boyee.

Douche. Uhhhh...The Atomic Ballroom Calamity. Hardcore. Metal. Grind. Jazz. There's as much beauty to it as their is ugliness. It's what Ilya's (lead guitarist of the band I was in a year ago) up to now. I'm really digging it. So that pretty much means you likely won't.

Me and my friends have been trying to figure out who's who. We believe the guitarists are meant to be Alexi Laiho (Children of Bodom) and Mikael Akerfeldt (Opeth, Bloodbath), the drummer Devin Townsend (Strapping Young Lad; balding, dreadlocks, and from Canada), and the frontman Corpsegrinder (Cannibal Corpse). Still can't figure out who Murderface, the bassist, is meant to be.

I really like The War Within. Almost as much as I like Of One Blood. Also, Fair having more vocal diversity than Phil? All I'm going to say is listen to the new All That Remains single, "This Calling." The music sucks and is generic metalcore, nothing new for the band, but Phil's voice...is amazing in it. His growl is good, his scream is good, and his singing during the chorus...I'm in love with it. It's melodic without sounding forced, beautiful without sounding feminine...damn. Agent, you're right. Everything I've heard off Blood Mountain has kicked me harder than most of Leviathan. DEFINITELY need to pick that up ASAP.

He was also in Death, wasn't he?

Hell yes. I actually bought God Hates Us All about a month after seeing Unholy Alliance, and with all the hype Christ Illusion was getting as a "return to the roots" album, I was ready for a piece of shit. I was pleasantly fucking surprised. It sounds, pretty much, like it was written and recorded sometime between Reign in Blood and Divine Intervention, which is - arguably - the thrashiest Slayer's ever been. I like it a lot. I don't like it nearly as much as the Unholy Trinity of Slayer albums (Reign, South, and Seasons), but it's a good follow-up to them. Much better than Divine and God are. I won't even mention that dreadful abomination Diabolous in Musica...shit, I just did.

Nevermind the overall mediocrity of The Art of Balance, or even the fact that a band once highly regarded by "true" metalheads being the go-to "cred" band for the fashioncore crowd...I'm not so sure their next album is going to be any good. For those of you that don't know, Shadows Fall ended their run with metal label giant Century Media following their recent release of Fallout From The War (a collection of 6 new songs, 1 re-done version of a song written between Of One Blood and Art of Balance, and a few covers). While I can see this being justified as Century Media has been known to fuck over its acts (Stuck Mojo had the potential to be HUGE back during the rap/rock craze of the late 90's, but weren't pushed at all besides a spot on Nitro and a video starring Raven and DDP), I can't really justify their new label. They've moved to Atlantic Records. Now, true, Atlantic was the home of such acts as Led Zeppelin and Pantera, and even has Metallica and Kid Rock (though that's not really a compliment anymore), but...c'mon. I'm looking at the names of the artists on the label, and the majority of them are awful pop radio tripe. Shinedown. Cold. The Donnas. Simple Plan. P.O.D. Skindred. Sean Paul. The Click Five. Jet. Those are acts on Atlantic Records, most of them heavily pushed (P.O.D. has the odd single that's pushed a decent amount for no real reason every couple of years), that have little-to-no true value. Say what you will about Shadows Fall and having value, but I'd say the band that kickstarted an entire style of music that currently dominates the heavy music mainstream (that, of course, being metalcore) better know what they're doing. I'm looking forward to hearing their next album, their first on Atlantic, sometime in the next year or two when it's released. I want to know if it will be more like the sound they've been sticking to recently (mostly a modernized style of speed metal with hardcore elements thrown in here and there at the right time), or if it will be their Black Album (good in the sense of exposure, terrible in the sense of actual quality and the direction the band might go in afterwards). This is more like me venting a little bit. Bands like Cannibal Corpse, Hatebreed, In Flames, and Gwar have been huge for years (again, at least as far heavy music goes), and they're all still on what one could call "independent" labels (though I'd definitely say that Metal Blade is much more of a major label than any other distributor of metal and hardcore). Here's to hoping the next album is as good as The War Within and not just a modern version of Metallica.

That's only because you work at Taco Bell.

If there's a country singer that's still alive and ain't named Garth Brooks or Reba McEntire, I wouldn't know 'em.