kkktookmybabyaway

9 p.m. • So I'm one of the many who don't watch Keith Olbermann's hippie show, but I did notice this and had to watch. (video -- lol, when is O'Reilly ever NOT on this worst-person list?) Below is the text. Oy. I'm not even going to bother with the "yeah, well liberal groups boycott stupid shit, too" because, well, this is pretty stupid. HOWEVER, I will say this. At least it got Rachel Ray off the air, at least for a few 30-second bits. Yeah, I know, there are some kooks on my side, but as long as they vote with me in November I'll just pat them on the head and go, "that's nice." Oh hell, I couldn't resist. So Pat Robertson was going to pay some poor white trash 10k to blow himself up during the Dunkin' morning rush?

7:30 p.m. • So Friday I talked about going to my first Pirates game since PNC Park was built. Actually, I think the last time I went to a Pirates game was in 1993, but whatever. No, wait. There was a game after that a few years later when my old man informed a group of us that due to being exposed to toxic chemicals he grew two added balls. What a night at the ball park that was. But I digress. So we got there before the game started, but the problem was the two people coming from out-of-state were still in Shittsburgh traffic. I knew they would be. No problem. It’s not like I’m in any hurry to watch the Bucs. And of course, during the first inning, I hear via an outside speaker that the Cubs have already scored. Now that was a surprise. Our guests showed up and we headed to our seats. It was still the first inning, so I only wasted 1/9 of my ticket. No biggie. My impressions? It was a ball park home to a shit team. Who cares? The better half actually liked the experience more than she, or I, thought. Then again, she was looking at just about everything around her BUT the actual play on the field. I guess that’s the point. And what is up with showing stock quotes on the narrow electronic marquees up around the stadium? One thing I will give props to is that the out-of-town scoreboard not only shows every other major-league contest but also who is on base and how many outs left in the current half-inning. I’m not sure how often this gets updated, but whatever. Oh, yeah. The Pirates. Holy fuck are they awful. I don’t pay any attention to this team during the season, so I never really observe just how they accomplish losing season after losing season. Here’s the box score: CHC (29-19) 2 1 1 1 3 1 0 3 0 12 19 0 PIT (22-26) 0 0 0 0 2 0 0 1 0 3 8 2 The Cubs scored in ALL but TWO innings. The Pirates had a runner on third with NO OUTS and couldn’t bring him in. The Cubs let Carlos Zambrano in the top of the seventh and brought in a relief pitcher in the bottom of the inning. Yeah, I know he’s a good hitting pitcher. And of course, when your pitcher goes FOUR FOR FIVE with TWO RBI, why not leave him out there? The Pirates clean-up hitter is hitting .220; the Cubs clean-up hitter (a former Pirate) is hitting .296 – that’s about all I need to say. Then there was the pitching. For as bad as Zach Duke was in his 4 innings, he looked like an ace once Sean Burnett took the mound. This performance was so bad it was laughable – in fact, my one guest said by the 4th inning that, as an outsider, watching the Pirates play was an “interesting experience.” I think she said this around the time a ball was hit to the shortstop and after spending a few seconds pondering to throw the ball to second base (or was it third base? No matter) he decided to throw it to first, which was too little too late. Then there were the several botched double plays – I can’t remember what innings these took place in because it seemed the Cubs had multiple runners in scoring position each inning. I will say this though: I never thought I’d say a $6 order of nachos is worth the price, but damn that was some good shit. Too bad I had to go to FOUR DIFFERENT STANDS before getting them. First stand? They didn’t sell them. Fortunately, I didn’t stay in line too long for that one. I went to the stand next to this one. After a 5-10 minute wait I discover they are out – in the bottom of the 5th. I then went two stands over to some fancy place. There’s a lady behind the register. Someone just left that register with food. I walk up and learn that she doesn’t sell nachos. But there are nachos behind her. She says to go to the middle of the stand. The hell? I go there. Guess what? In order to get nachos I have to GO BACK TO THE LADY I ORIGINALLY SPOKE TO. Good fucking Christ. Finally, I get to the next stand and buy my overpriced shit. Hey, I’m going to a MLB game – the food’s going to be expensive. For as cheap as I am I do spend the cash pretty freely at occasions like these. And after all that I have to reiterate – those nachos were good shit. Where was I? Oh, yeah. The game. While I was away the Pirates scored a few runs, but by now it was 8-2. Yeah, there’s going to be a rally. One observation I made during the course of this game was that there were a number of Cubs fans, and nobody from Shittsburgh cared when they cheered their beloved Cubbies each time a run was scored, which was often. I remember back in ’90 when the Pirates played the Mets fans throwing popcorn on a Metropolitan fan when he and his kid cheered a big play by the visiting team. I remember a Pirates fan getting into a drunken brawl with a Braves fan in the ’92 NLCS. This game? Nothing. It’s like those Pirate fans in attendance knew their team sucked and the visiting fans had every right to clap, hoot and holler. And if you can’t have fireworks on the field during the game, you can have them after the game is over. Uh, yay. Mrs. kkk loves fireworks. I’m indifferent. Here’s another PNC compliment: The seats are WAY more comfortable than the Reds stadium. And the vendors are nearly as annoying as those in Cincinnati. I’m also amazed that with this horrid economy people would pay $10 for parking and more than $6 for a giant hot dog. Damn you George W. Bush and your tax cuts for the rich. 8 p.m. • So that's why Mark Madden hasn't been on the air the last few days. I didn't make a comment here about Uncle Ted's condition because I have a feeling the minute I do karma is going to bite me in the ass ... hard. Good thing I had Mark to say it. Yeah, I know. It's cold in here. Brrrrrr. Hmm, where I have heard this story before? I person on ESPN says some OFFENSIVE and nothing is done for days after the fact. Oh fuck you all. "Longer look." Much like anything that takes place at ESPN, these faggot-ass cunts waited until a bunch of people who don't like Madden to begin with bitched. So what if he goes after certain people -- are they untouchable? Yeah he's a pig. And that's why I listened to him several times a week. OK, now that was funny. Wrestling fans, if you think he shilled for WCW back in the day, that's NOTHING compared to what he does with the Penguins. So? It's amazing. Whenever some conservative group with their panties in a wad complains about sex/violence/blacks on television/movies/radio we're always told by liberal elites to just not watch/listen to this stuff. But when it's something like Madden or Michael Savage it's HATE SPEECH. Oh well. And for the record, Madden is no conservative. If the local Fox Sports Radio had any brains (and balls) they would hire Madden after his contract expires (he's still getting paid by ESPN). They probably won't, but I could be wrong.

Yeah. He rags on the Steelers and Pirates all the time (and often makes good points) but Mario Lemieux can do no wrong (which he can't, btw). He freely admits it, too. When pro wrestling was popular in the late '90s he wrote a column for this local paper and ALWAYS defended WCW. I think the worst came when he defended the No Limit Soldiers yet was all OFFENDED over that Austin-toy-gun story on RAW (when he held a gun to Vince's head and a flag shot out saying "bang").

10 p.m. • Well, I knew it was going to happen someday. Remember this from 2+ years ago? Well guess who's going to see a Pirates game tomorrow because his one out-of-state friend and her husband are visiting and want to see a game PNC Park? Yep. Well, it's the Cubs so the Bucs will probably get pounded 10-0. Oh well, at least I got $5 off each ticket because of some Comcast deal.

Oh come on, it's It’s 100% Legal And Works Anywhere In The World! It's even in larger text and a different color! How can it not be legit?

6 p.m. • Yawn. Hmmm, maybe that is a good reason for her to stay in. Can you make a few more stops in California? Pretty please? Then again, between her and Osama, I think I would actually go with her. Jesus Chrst did I just say that? • Why would Mikey be wowed? There's no food there. Then again, maybe that's what has him going into shock.

Not to mention HOT AIR~ It's not snowing here. I don't have to scrape ice off my car's windshield. I'm content. Then again, this is the third time this season the lawn has been mowed due to the rain.

Over the years the TSM community has been an interesting bunch. While many of us bicker and type things to each other that we definitely probably perhaps wouldn’t say in a face-to-face encounter, enough time has passed as this place that we share memorable life experiences with each other. Births, weddings, passings. And even though TSM will never be mistaken for a bona fide support group, there are enough people at this place that will provide words of congratulations, encouragement and condolences at the right time. Then there are also enough of us to throw in an *unzips pants*, which although juvenile is also necessary. If not, how else would I be at 15,000+ posts? How it all started It was late one night and I was too awake to go to bed but I was too tired to actually do anything of importance. So I did what I normally do in this situation. I went on the Internet. I don’t remember what thread/blog I was reading at the time, but I do recall it involving some half-assed countdown of something or other. It was at that time I decided to do my own countdown. A countdown that has never been done before. But of what? Well of my top 103 posters. For some reason, this thought jumped in my head and stayed there for just enough time for me to randomly type a number of posters that popped in and out of my memory. After a while I stopped typing names and realized I had an odd number of names. And of course EVERY list needs a safe, divisible amount, right? Wrong, hippie. Well, exactly two years(?!) and 102 posters later, the moment of truth has come. Who is ranked #1? Rather than list the name at the start of this post, I will wait until the end. Click on the links if you want, but treat them as spoiler tags. But first, let's see who has already been accounted for. Number 103: Sideburnious I think one reason I'm having some trouble coming up with a "favorite Sideburnious moment" is because he’s “TSM Invisible Poster.” Number 102: T®ITEC I still don't know how to type that hippie ® though -- thank God for "copy and paste." Number 101: EricMM I shouldn’t be too negative on Eric because I think he’s just a product of his environment (pun intended). Number 100: Anorak For some time we constantly name-called each other in a number of threads, but then something strange happened: we actually started to get along better. Number 99: Jessie Ewiak When he wasn’t explaining to members of the Conservative Brigade why the polls favored Kerry over Bush in ’04, he was wanking to one of the few elections Democrats did manage win that year. Number 98: MD2020 Nothing really special to say about MD2020; he seemed like a nice enough chap when he was here. Number 97: Reservior Kitty The next poster on my list is really the cat’s meow – oh fuck you all, I’ve said worse. Number 96: Chave He has nice teeth, and for someone who lives across the Pond from me, that says a lot. Number 95: Kotz I’ve known him at TSM for years, and I’m still unsure if we get along or not. Number 94: FrigidSoul We teamed up and good times were had by all, especially when goofing on some kid's mom and her unsuccessful bout with cancer. You can’t brush aside moments like this just because someone went and deleted a message board. Number 93: Smues He makes fun of Barry Bonds and ESPN, along with Mikey Moore. You can't win me over any more than goofing on those three subjects. Number 92: Swift Terror When he got promoted to the management level I was at we got to know each other better during some projects our groups worked together on. Well, the people working under us worked; I spent most of my day posting at TSM, which eventually pulled in my co-worker, too. Number 91: Paul Stanley If he's been laid off already for making too much money, here's hoping he finds something that pays him more and has him working less. Number 90: Masked Man of Mystery He’s a Professional Otaku, and no list is complete without one of those. Number 89: Olympic Slam He’s more conservative than me yet lives in California. Number 88: The Czech Republic He’s extremely approachable on AIM and has answered every inquiry I have asked him through this medium, from explaining what exactly a “neocon” is to what parts of the Windy City and its surrounding areas support the Cubs and which areas support the White Sox. Number 87: Latin Assasin He may be Latino, but I'll still give him a pound, or whatever it is those black people do when greeting each other. Number 86: JAxl Morrison When he's not putting his sexual partner's life at risk by banging her while she still has a tampon inside of her, he's putting his own life at risk by getting it on with military wives. Number 85: Ant 7000 He tries his hardest to answer that age-old question: "Why do black men go after fat white girls?" Number 84: Crono T When you're good enough to get the Best Ending, the Frog Ending, and the Secret Ending, then we'll talk. Until then, keep on digging, Watson. Number 83: BDC He’s the unofficial ninja of the Conservative Brigade. Number 82: Special K What puts him at number 82 on my list is the phenomenon that was his “Hey everybody, I finally got laid" thread. Number 81: Agent of Oblivion Although he considered me the worst poster of 2004, can anyone really blame him for that? Number 80: The Franchise I don’t think he lives in one of the better neighborhoods across the Pond. Number 79: Treble You can't really blame the Office Glen for crashing my threads, considering I have derailed a few of his on occasion. Number 78: Kahran Ramsus When he signed up in my football contest last year, I got the pleasure of interacting with him more than when he just closes threads I help queer up. Number 77: Sass I always found Sass, during his time as a mod, to be a voice of reason in many instances. Number 76: Your Paragon of Virtue He's harmless enough when talking about current events, back when I used to do that sort of thing. Number 75: Jingus Jingus, along with a few other people, formed another message board, which a few of us still post at. Number 74: Buffybeast She loves her hosses and hates black people. Number 73: Dr. Venkman He has a good Avatar and named after a kick-ass movie character. Number 72: The Thread Killer I didn’t know much about this guy until he came out of the closet. Number 71: NY Untouchable I need to somehow make up for breaking his heart by voting against him in the first round of this year’s Poster Tournament. Number 71: Cena’s Writer He didn’t mind when I moved him from the Cards to the Saints during the off-season. Number 69: Bob Barron Bob is one of the more recognizable posters at this place. And how can he not be, considering he's had that hat longer than the Braves have been winning Division titles. Number 68: Agent Bond34 I do feel for him when a few years ago he got banned by some mod because that person thought Agent was a previously banned poster (Mr. Zsasz). Number 67: Slapnuts Slapnuts isn’t too bad a guy, even though he will forever be remembered for a certain 77 words. Number 66: Y2Jerk One could rest assured that during spring of ’05 there would be a Y2Jerk/MikeSC clash of the day. Number 65: Starvenger He’s part of my football contest and had a tough year with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers last season thanks to a few close losses. Number 64: UseTheSledgehammerUh At one point he was even banned, but I’ve never had a problem with him. Number 63: Mr. S£im Citrus I actually see a lot of myself in Mr. S£im. Well except for that whole "serving your country" thing. Plus I'm white. Oh, and there's that whole kid issue. Number 62: The Scotsman I only spoke with him once via AIM, and that was just to give him a link to a news story about some kid with Downs Syndrome being elected Homecoming King in his school. Number 61: 2Gold Even Kotz likes him, and it’s in a non-sexual matter, too. Number 60: Prime Time Andrew Doyle He’s also been tempted to seek the services of a hooker right after his classes finish early, but he’s too cheap to pay the $140 for a half-hour of service. Number 59: Fazzle I remember seeing a picture of him surrounded by some cute chicks that were around his age. Good work. Number 58: King PK Goddamn do I love that Avatar. Number 57: El Santiaco We both agree that the best zombie is a slow-moving zombie. Number 56: Canadian Guitarist He works at Wal-Mart, and because he’s a self-professed hippie I can’t imagine he takes much joy in helping his employer take over the world. Number 55: Bps21 When you have me going, “Wow. This guy is really jaded,” you know you're doing something right. Number 54: Cobain was Murdered He's had an interesting selection of jobs, from his stint as a rugged lumberjack to being able to go to town with a store's slurpee machine. Number 53: Banky I’ve grown to like Banky (or whatever he’s calling himself this week). Number 52: The Max He’s more than accommodating when you’re asking questions about NHL ’06. Number 50 and 51: Darrylxlf/AndrewTS I can never remember which one is which, and I stopped trying to remember because it's a chore enough not to forget other things in life like "first pants then your shoes." Number 49: Mole I generally despise the “college lifestyle” and believe most people who engage in it need to be taken out to an alley and shot. Number 48: Hoff I'm still sure he spent $10.39 in Eden Prairie, MN, on a hooker. Number 47: Cuban Linx He’s a founding member of my football contest. Number 46: Marvin is a Lunatic When a male virgin finally achieves penetration because it’ll only last 5-10 seconds. Yes, I am speaking from personal experience. Number 45: Canadian Chick Having seen Canadian Chick do wrestling moves, I’m quite certain that not only can she blend in as being one of the guys (at least on the days where she’s not ragging it) but she could also probably pummel many of us with snap suplexes, half-nelsons or whatever those things are. Number 44: Vyce Vyce and I have this special connection, and no it’s not because we spy on all the pre-teen girls in our neighborhoods. Number 43: Anglesaut I'm fairly certain that these kids knew that the fire boom-boom stick would cause boo-boos. Number 42: Rob E. Dangerously He threatened to extort me once because I posted something good about John Kerry a long time ago that said I might consider voting for him. Number 41: Canadian Chris His name is Chris, and he is from Canada. Number 40: Alfdogg He helped out during the most recent kkk Bowl IV season. In fact, I think he handled it better than me. Number 39: Dames Without Dames, we wouldn’t be here today showing fellow posters pictures that we like, bitching about the latest RAW broadcast or saying how much this place sucks. Number 38: Stephen Joseph I just wish I knew what he did for a living. Number 37: AlwaysPissedOff I don’t think I’ve ever seen him pissed off, or even slightly irritated for that matter. Number 36: Vitamin X V-X would rather live in an America that resembles the commie commune many of his people risk their lives trying to flee. Number 35: Damaramu While known for his sports-folder meltdowns whenever the Oklahoma Sooners lost a football game, I’ll remember him better as that journalism student who vigorously pursued his dream of writing athlete profiles and game recaps. Number 34: Carnival If you don’t know what a juggalo is, just be thankful and move on. Number 33: Hawk 34 He’s been suspected of being the previously banned poster Choken One, I really don’t care. Number 32: Hogan Made Wrestling He doesn’t seem to care much for blogs, which makes me wonder what the hell he’s doing on this list in the first place. Number 31: Meatwad When it comes to smart-ass replies, you can’t beat my Meat. Number 30: Lovecraft He hates freedom, to be sure. But he also hates commies, which is a bigger plus than the former is a minus. Number 29: Spaceman Spiff At the other place he came out defending the Supreme Communists of the United States. Number 28: Gert T Whenever I speak of my time in Middletown, Ohio, he actually knows what I’m talking about. Number 27: Porter Porter has been more than accommodating on AIM whenever I’ve had a question (or seven) about MVP Baseball 2005. Number 26: BX Just because I disagree with 99.999999999 percent of what someone thinks regarding politics (and I’m still waiting for that 0.000000001 percent of something we agree on) doesn't mean I have to hate him for it. Number 25: Flyboy I liked the little bugger, in a master-likes-his-slave sort of way. Number 24: Teke184/cop/whoever Teke can also find me entertaining at times … wait a second, that was tekecop. Number 23: Bored I wound up getting sodomized by Kotz in the Meow Mix Pussy Bowl – oh, yeah, and Kotz correctly predicted more games during Bowl Week than I did. Number 22: Danny Dubya The eastern part of this state is so contaminated with Democrats that if Three Mile Island would have had a full meltdown it would improve the region. Number 21: Cartman He did some “Survivor” deal back in ’03. We've been around that long? Number 20: Al Keiper He patrols with a big stick. That’s wooden. And made in Louisville. Well, maybe not Lousville – I have no idea what with globalization and all. Number 19: The Real World’s Champion It’s hard to go wrong with someone that starts a thread titled: “ Mikey was at my school...” followed by “No word on if the gym collapsed.....” Number 18: Bravesfan Years back he had some pick 'em football contest and I think it eventually drove him mad. Number 17: Wildbomb 4:20 Wildbomb finally caught on and realized that nobody at this place is going to significantly change his or her opinions because some faceless message board poster said something smart. Number 16: Cerebus He moved on to do stuff in the real world, such as make babies with his hot wife, teach and do other grown-up stuff that I’m still trying to stay away from. Number 15: Slayer He’s got enough common sense to stay away from liberal craziness, but at the same time he shakes his head whenever his red state of Kansas acts like … well, a red state. Number 14: King of the 909 From reading the limited entries in his blog it doesn’t appear that royalty in a state filled with illegal aliens would be all that appealing. Number 13: NoCal Mike He’s one of the few left-wingers that I believe would vote for Ralph Nader. Number 12: Bigolsmitty What separates Smitty from most of the Marxists here is that he’s actually funny with his shtick. And by funny I don’t mean C-Bacon funny. Number 11: sfaJack If it weren’t for saps like sfa and myself getting up for work, paying taxes and keeping this economy humming, then Pedro wouldn’t be sneaking across the southern border to pick lettuce and Mohammad wouldn’t be sneaking across the northern border to blow up a commerce center. Number 10: Jobber of the Week If he would be as fiscally responsible in Congress as he says he is at TSM, then I wouldn’t mind if some of his treasonous ideas got through the cracks. Number 9: Mr. Rant Is it really necessary to put a "NSFW" warning to a thread titled "THIS COMPLETELY RUINS A GOOD CUM BATH?" Number 8: Ripper For the last time, black people don't tip. Number 7: Vern Gagne He's the Conservative Brigade member who loads the ammo inside the tank. Number 6: Black Lushus Mr. Lushus is from Nebraska, has legitimate children and works a full-time job, so what little street cred he had is long gone. Number 5: Cancer Marney She’s my goddess, not to mention protector -- if not from Abdul flying in coach with that fuse hanging out from his shoe, then from posters from across the pond. Number 4: MikeSC For those of you that ventured into the Current Events folder in its heyday you will probably never look at a Michael from South Carolina the same way ever again. Number 3: nl5xsk1 For more than THREE YEARS I’ve been involved in a shootout of insults with someone because of a split-second thought and a few keystrokes. Number 2: Dr. Tom Reporting for duty, General. kkk's Top 103 Posters Number 1: ??????? This selection may come as a surprise to some. Hell, this poster even once uttered one of my most hated lines of: “Can’t a cop/soldier just shoot someone in the leg instead of the chest so he doesn't get killed?” However, much like Padme when, with her final breath, said of her Jedi meat puppet, “there is good in him,” that is the same case with this poster – except for the gay sex and all that. What got this poster so highly ranked? Well, for starters, he may hate his country, but he isn’t afraid to mock those who probably vote the same way he does in general elections. Also, CE vets may remember a few years ago back on April Fool’s Day a group of us deciding to post a mile in the other side’s shoes. Whose idea was it to do this? Mine, of course. But I needed a commie counterpart to pull this off, and this poster was more than happy to oblige. Then a few years later, after Eddie Guerrero passed away and the “You’re being serious” line became an instant classic, this same poster and I decided to spread the “_______ that make you think of Eddie Guerrero” threads to other folders. Such as video games. And movies. And computers. And books. And porn. And porn, again. Was this dumb? Yeah. But was it funny? Well it seemed so at the time. And while this poster hasn’t been around as often during W.'s second term than his first, the CE antics, along with a variety of other antics, made my final selection an easy choice. Besides, even though we were at opposite spectrums a few years ago (He's actually gotten quite conservative now that he's actually earning money and paying taxes, and Republicans have pissed me off quite a bit -- wait, does that mean the closer he got to the center was offset by my further tilt to the right because these so-called "small government" bitches in my Party have been anything but? Then again, I don't think I can get much more "conservative" because I don't consider myself much of a fundie, outside of the whole killing of the unborn. OK, now I'm really getting off track.), there are two things that will always unite message board posters: John Madden and porn. Err, let me rephrase that. How about the John Madden video game franchise and the porno industry? Yeah, that sounds better -- and it doesn't give "Boom! He's on his back!" a double meaning. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you… …Dr. Tyler; Captain America FOR AMERICA!!1++one, indeed.

9:15 p.m. • As I’ve said before, Tuesday is usually grocery shopping day for the kkk household, and that means my Jew-ness can come out in all its glory. There are many things in life you can’t control, especially when it comes to expenses. However, grocery shopping is a bona fide way to save money, especially if you are careful about what you spend. For me, it’s all about coupons and in-store sales. With few exceptions, if a product isn’t on sale and I don’t have a coupon (which gets doubled up to 99 cents), I don’t get it. Now Mrs. kkk isn’t nearly as bad as I am, but she has gotten more Jewish as the years have gone by. However, today I have reached my pinnacle. I knew this was going to be a big coupon week. I generally look through the weekly circular on Sunday-Monday and get an idea of what’s on sale. I then go through my coupons and put the ones that feature on-sale products to the front of the line. I noticed that this week there were quite a few sale/coupon combos. (BTW: If my Sunday Tribune-Review has at least two packs of coupons, I will go out and get the Sunday Shittsburgh Post-Gazette. Yes, I’m that pathetic.) When we go to the store there are always in-store sales that weren’t advertised, so I’m also on the lookout for these deals, too. And boy were there some doozies. Some highlights: French’s yellow and spicy brown mustard. On sale, $1 each. Two 50 cent off coupons doubled. Do the math. Frank’s hot sauce. On sale, $1.79. One $1 off coupon. Aleve gel caps. On sale, $2.99 for a pack of 20. Three 75 cent off coupons doubled. Two cottage cheese/fruit combo packs. On sale, $1 each. One 55 cent off coupon doubled. And so on. At the end of this week’s shopping trip, I ended up saving $61.24 off a $144.15 order. But the best part of all. The self check-out machine refused to accept my order because it said, in tech jargon, that I had saved too much money, or at least that’s what the store employee who rang up my order told me. I always find it amusing when I read stories about how people have to change their lifestyle due to the HORRID BUSH ECONOMY. Along with taking less exquisite vacations, one change I commonly read is that families now clip coupons and watch what they buy at the grocery store. Shit, I’ve been doing that since 1999 when I first started living on my own.

4 p.m. • So today the better half and I went to the bank to open up a savings account. After Mrs. kkk’s credit cards got paid off, I said we were going to have an initial rainy day fund that would eventually be turned into a savings account. This would happen once we got to a specific figure in our checking account. Well this past month we met that figure, so it was time to move that money to a savings account. This of course meant it was time to go to the bank and watch the bank person react in surprise when they find out how much money we have in our account. This happened when I first moved back to Pennsylvania in 2003 and opened up an account. This also happened earlier this year when I went to get a debit card for my account. And just to show that I wasn’t crazy about the surprised facial contortions, I asked the better half to watch for such a reaction. The best part came when the banker asked, “Well do you know what account you would like to open?” After I said what account would work best for us, she spent a few minutes looking at her notes and said, “That’s right. You have enough to get into the higher-tier interest rate!” Pft. Like it matters. Now the plan is to keep the checking account at the amount we predetermined and any extra money left over in that account at the end of the month will be spent paying off my school loan. I figure that should take a few months, and then it will be onto the next task at hand. • I just realized that the postage rate went up yet again. I knew it was going to increase, but I wasn’t sure when. It must be nice to run an industry where you don’t have to worry about your competition setting prices lower than yours. But I digress. I discovered a reason to keep pennies – to get 1-cent stamps. Earlier this year at Sam’s Club trip we got a 100-roll of stamps. How many stamps do we have left? 68. How many 1-cent stamps did I get today? 68. How many pennies did I use? 68. Unrolled. Hey, if they want to raise postage rates by a penny, then they should expect a similar brand of currency. Actually, it wasn’t that tense a transaction. Here’s what I hate most about the post office. No matter who’s in front of me in line, it takes 5-10 minutes (at least) to complete their order. When I step up, it takes a minute – two tops. Then again, I don’t stand there and carefully pick out the design of stamps I want to purchase. Goddamn I hate old people.

OK, so that made me laugh. Actually, I do defend the post office once in a while. However, another thing I hate is when they get pissy when you want to mail something larger than a letter. "You have to wrap this package in tape FOUR times -- what, you mean you didn't know that anything over 6.504032 ounces gets charged the parcel rate if you want to send it to Zone 2?!" Well shoot, it must have slipped my mind.

4:30 p.m. • So my ex-workplace had its May quarterly board meeting, and I found out from the people I still keep in touch with over there something interesting. It is now taking six people to do my job. One person to actually step in to my job title. My idiot boss who is showing the above person how to operate Quark, something she said she was proficient in during her interview. My one ex-coworker told me that when she started she asked why you had to make a box for everything. (Quark users will get the joke.) Oh, and she doesn't know how do do any of the other office software she insisted she knew. Two people to do data-entry/editing work. One person to do special projects. One person to work on the web site. I should point out that the only thing which has been updated in the past four months is a link on the front page taken down that directed someone to the site’s latest updates. Seeing there hasn’t been an update since January 18, I find it odd that they would remove this. I could be greedy and add another person to stuff envelopes, but I’m sure that could be delegated to the three people doing data entry/editing/special projects. Oh, and did I mention this person gets almost one-third more money starting out than what I did? (Hell, she makes more now than I did after 4+ years.) I’m not going to hate on her for that – in fact, I say good job. When it comes to money, you’re only paid as much as you can get. Actually, the one thing about my old job I didn’t really bitch about was the pay. I figure if I wanted more I’d go somewhere else. What did piss me off though was the extra job duties heaved onto me without any additional compensation. When you start a job and your extra responsibilities start becoming more important than the reason you were hired in the first place, then you’ve got problems. But like I said above, good job on my recent replacement. After all, she was able to get money out of the same place that would constantly try to Jew me out of work I put down on my time card, sometimes as little as 15 minutes. She was able to get money out of the same place that wouldn’t pay a part-time assistant more than $8/hour after downsizing the previous full-time assistant job, which was more than $12/hour plus benefits. (I am now told by my deep throat that getting a full-time assistant for my replacement is of the “utmost importance.” Actually, it’s been of the “utmost importance” for over a month.) She was able to get money out of the same place that had everyone CARPOOL to this most recent meeting. This is the same place that has its staff stuff envelopes rather than invest in an envelope-stuffing machine. But the best part of this meeting? I found out from my deep throat how much she makes, so I got a few people to ask about the new hire’s salary at the meeting. What did my idiot bosses do? They said they “can’t recall” how much she makes. This coming from the same place that … well, you get the idea. Actually, in our most recent company publication, my one idiot ex-boss was bragging about how office expenses were down by THREE ONE-HUNDREDTHS OF A PERCENTAGE POINT while the annual cost of something-or-other went up by 4.3 percent. Of course, in the next paragraph, he mentions that due to an “unusually high” death-ratio-index, the company had to dip into its surplus for the last fiscal year. Yeah, “unusually high.” Too bad all our clients are old and getting older. That “unusually high” is going to turn into “normal” soon enough. But hey, we saved THREE ONE-HUNDREDTHS OF A PERCENTAGE POINT because we wouldn’t pay a part-time assistant more than $8/hour and spent more than 4 months replacing an office worker who died. The more and more I’m away from this place, the more and more I’m enjoying watching its decay from within. 8:30 p.m. • Uh oh. I bet he's a Bush man. • Sixteen years later and this song still gives me chills. Damn good stuff. And not one "shizzle" or "bling" reference (or whatever the hell is being used now). If you stuck around at the 1:50 mark, you would have heard the following line: Now who used that line as the key sample for his song? Yep. • Speaking of Shaq Daddy raps. And how long did they take to remake this track -- 3 minutes?

Uh, OK. Is "Shaq Fu: The Return" ambient music?

9:30 p.m. • You know, it's not the actual story that caught my eye. A 4-3 opinion over a hot-button topic whose final decision favors the liberal side of the debate. Odd how there's no mention of a "splintered" or "divided" court decision, although we learn that this court is REPUBLICAN-DOMINATED (whatever the hell that means in California). Yet a while back I posted this story, also published by the Associated Press... Wait a second, I was about to do a "how come one case is divided and the other case is splintered," but then I decided to actually, you know, LOOK UP the word in question. Fudgesicles. Damn you liberal media. 10 p.m. • So earlier this week I was at Target picking up the better half’s birth control pills when the lady in front of me asked around as to when the new Indiana Jones movie is coming out. Since nobody else knew, I decided to end the awkward silence by saying “May 22.” She then got as giddy as this chick at the grocery store… …but I digress. After she picked up her prescription and paid for that and her Indiana Jones DVD set, I shook my head, which prompted the one pharmacist to ask, “What’s wrong?” The following conversation took place. You’ll figure out who is who. “No self-respecting Indiana Jones fan will look forward to this.” “Why? I heard it was going to be good.” “No, it won’t.” “I have some friends who are in film school and they said the special effects and action will be great.” “No, it won’t.” “Why do you think that?” “They should have stopped with ‘The Last Crusade.’” “Why?” “Because it was the perfect ending. Indiana riding off with his father, Sallah and Brody into the sunset. Connery won’t be in this one. Neither will Sallah. And Brody’s dead. Everything in that last scene in ‘The Last Crusade’ has just been wiped away.” “So you’re not going to see it in the theater.” “No, but I’ll probably get it on DVD.” “Why?” “Because, whether I like it or not, it’s INDIANA JONES.” *Sigh* I feel the same way about the Star Wars prequels. Wow, I point out my inability to understand the English language and show how much of a sucker I am with movie franchises just as old as me – all in one entry. I need to inject myself with some manliness. That last line isn’t helping my case much, either... PUNKS JUMP UP TO GET BEAT DOWN (without using naughty words) PUNKS JUMP UP TO GET BEAT DOWN (thug lyricz) You know, for a song that has the line: I find it funny that the following is also included in this track… … Wait a second: Uhhh, that’s not the correct line, Lyrics Freak. What the hell? Lyrics Depot MP3 Lyrics STL Lyrics E Lyrics, Complete Album Lyrics Lyrics on Demand Lyrics Time Thank you Metro Lyrics. Finally, someone gets the line right. No, I'm not repeating an entry I made last year. In that post I was remarking on the "Give strong blows to the heads of my foes," line, not the "dick in ya ass" line. With this entry, I'm also pointing out that I may not know what "splintered" means, but I can remember a song's line about anal sex from 16 years ago. ... God what the hell is wrong with me? Hmm, interesting take on the YouTube comment section: That's actually a valid point. Maybe Sadat was a late bloomer.

The Treacherous Three - At The Party

Banky's back?

9 p.m. • Well gee, who could have thought people would find this offensive? Video. How dare he compare a presidential candidate to a monkey. Why that's unheard of. That's outrageous. That's... That's.... That's... That's... That's... That's.... That's.... That's.... That's.... That's.... That's ... Uhhhh? Oh, yeah...

11:59 p.m. • As an avid rap listener back in the 1980s and '90s, I remember hearing a number of edited songs on the radio and on albums. While many of these "kid friendly" versions were awful with the non-thug words and gaping pauses, one of my favorite edits came in one of my favorites songs of the early 1990s… …and my jimmy runs deep … so deep … so deep put her BUTT to sleep... Speaking of this time, I was listening to Comcast’s Old School Rap music channel. It’s not a permanent channel, but it pops up often enough. However, today they played “Nothing but a G Thing” and “Rump Shaker.” Old School? Fuck. Old school is Doug E. Fresh and the Treacherous Three. Oh well, I’m sure someone in his 40s would disagree with that. C’est la vie. • From my 5/7 post: Actually, the better half used to not be a vengeful bitch. That is until meeting me. Now she is almost as bad as me, although she still has way more tact than me. However, in this instance, I have to say she won’t need to torpedo the operation because her boss will have no trouble doing that shortly after she leaves. We’re still trying to figure out the best way to exit. Because we don’t have a crystal ball, she’s looking now for a new job. However, if we knew that she would be gainfully employed September 1 at a new workplace, I would want her to stay until her final day of work on August 31. This way she can suck up as much money from this grant as possible and make her boss feel more uncomfortable than she already feels. Then again, the sooner she leaves, the greater the train wreck will be. Oddly enough, when I knew my time at my former place of employment was going to be limited, I actually worked harder. The reason? Whenever I would leave, the quality of work I did would be magnified, and believe me I was right. Not only is the work downright embarrassing, but also it’s taking FOUR people (not including the person who replaced me) to do what I did by myself. And the work is also getting out almost a month later than it should be. Sometimes it’s best to not do a thing to torpedo your ex-employers; many of them can do that without your assistance. • Speaking of SFAJack and his possible 15 minutes of fame, back when the Clinton/Lewinsky was unearthed I was part of one of those “man on the street” interviews. I was headed to my job at the theater and I noticed this reporter and photographer trying to get people to give their opinion of the story. I figured I’d help them out – besides, my one journalism class had a project where I needed to interview a reporter so I figured I’d do a quid pro quo. I gave him a nice quote and he gave me an easy way to accomplish an annoying class project a few weeks later. My quote? It went something like, “It’s too early to say anything one way or the other, but I think he should resign for other reasons.”

I do that quite a bit now -- even without the 10 Year Ago Me.

$52 increase in four years?! Yet another reason I don't go to sporting events.

7 p.m. • Well today was a bit of a shocker. We found out that Mrs. kkk got laid off. Actually, she’ll be out of work August 31. Why? According to her idiot boss, because the boss doesn’t like working in the academic world and will use her grant money to pay her salary and not the better half’s. All I have to say is that for as fucked up as my former place of employment has been since my departure, this has the makings of a classic. Why? Because without the better half there, her soon-to-be ex-boss will have to do the vast majority of work. The same person that comes in at 11 a.m. and leaves at 2 p.m. yet bitches about being “overworked.” The same person that once put salad dressing on a salad the night before some social function and wondered why the salad was ruined the next morning. The same person who poured sugar instead of parmesan cheese over her pasta during dinner. The same person who (just a few weeks ago) saw an expense sheet and didn’t know what “balance” meant. The same person who never locks the petty cash drawer and had checks stolen that racked up thousands of dollars in theft. The same person that fights with every department and vendor there is, even though she is wrong 99 percent of the time. The same person. Oh this has the makings to be a classic. Did I mention this chick has a Ph.D.? No? Well, I'm sure you figured that out by the "expense sheet" line. As for Mrs. kkk – she’ll get another job, hopefully within the university system. The only adjustment will be that we would carpool a bit later in the morning and afternoon. The busier traffic will be a downer, but it’s nothing major – most the time I leave late from my job anyway because I get a lot of last-minute calls/etc. The odd thing is even if I was to lose this job I really wouldn’t care. If my current employer’s funding gets discontinued and I have to start looking at the classifieds again, I would actually be comfortable with doing so. I don’t hate where I work, but rather the time I spent here has shown me that not EVERY workplace situation has to be a dysfunctional affair.

8:30 p.m. • I wonder what it would be like to be the target of a GLOBAL man-hunt? That's when you know you done fucked up. Then again, I'm sure I could sleep at night knowing the Frenchies are after me. • Idiot. It's not like the poor gas station owner is reaping the profits. You know, what the hell is going to happen when there's a real fuel shortage or when rationing is forced upon us? Maybe having a Democrat in office, along with a Democrat congress, won't be so bad. After all, Medium-Large Media would then tell us what a bargain $4/gallon gas really is. • I've been meaning to talk about this gem of a story for a few days now. Here's the latest. God bless the K-9 unit. Too bad the dog did more for society than that two-bit piece of shit who shot it. The sad thing about all this? When I first heard this story on the drive in to work earlier this week, I joked to the better half that the cops shot the dog on purpose so they could then kill another young black man. Why am I not surprised by what happened next? And here's the real payoff... Do I even need to answer this one? Here's some more about the framed innocent. God, Democrats must be glad to have these peons in their back pocket, even if a sliver of them bother to vote. And thank Christ for that.

Went to private Lutheran school from K-5 (the school had a room for 1-3, 4-6 and 7-8; my fifth-grade class had 3 kids). The family moved and the rest of my time was spent in government school. Middle School: 6-8. High School: 9-12.

How about Me 10 years ago, 10 years from now, 20 years from now, 30 years from now and 40 years from now? (It'd be a bit of a bummer if the 30 and 40 Mes didn't show up.)

I'd be curious to see how much Marx tips.